Are shy guys really appreciated by women?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

And I suppose I got my answer here. The truth is that, unless I want to find a very *rare* woman, who would appreciate me as I am, I either have to change or embrace my solitude and being alone. I don't want the latter, so I'll work on the former.

I don't think it is a point of appreciation it is a point of them not knowing you are interested. Shyness is a defense mechanism and the reason girls don't flock to you is you have your defenses up and you won't let them in. So if a girl is knocking on your door and you don't answer don't fault her for not kicking it down just to see you.

How do I cure this, though?

It would be so much easier if I were female. Then I wouldn't have to ask out anybody, they would ask ME out.

I enjoy being a male, except for this condition, which just plain sucks.

 

[Anten]

I guess the only way not to be shy is find you level of comfort and slowly ease out of it as you are talking to a girl. If you notice a girl is wearing a funny article of clothing or has a cool tattoo ask her about it. With that there is no pressure on trying to ask her out or get her number it is just a simple convo. That is a good exercise and another one is talking to the girl who is ringing you out because she generally has to be nice to customers.

 

[Frito Bandito]

Shy or outgoing, it doesn't matter. As long as you can fit into a template that generates position emotions, you are in.

 

[oopsiedoop]

Many girls love shy guys. I do. Maybe look for shy girls. What I detest though is a guy who won't take a stand, a guy who has no character. I've found that what I thought was shyness was just lack of interest. If a guy is interested enough, he will make the moves necessary. And it's all worse once you get into a relationship and he doesn't express any affection but wants you to hand yourself over to him on a silver platter without any work at all on his part. That's not shyness, that's pure selfishness. A guy with manners and consideration is desireable. The rest end up in divorce and heartache.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It would be so much easier if I were female. Then I wouldn't have to ask out anybody, they would ask ME out.

You really think it's that easy for us? Because I can tell you, no one has ever asked me out on a date.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It would be so much easier if I were female. Then I wouldn't have to ask out anybody, they would ask ME out.

You really think it's that easy for us? Because I can tell you, no one has ever asked me out on a date.

How have you gotten dates, then? Do you ask out men?

 

[VanillaCreme]

It would be so much easier if I were female. Then I wouldn't have to ask out anybody, they would ask ME out.

You really think it's that easy for us? Because I can tell you, no one has ever asked me out on a date.

How have you gotten dates, then? Do you ask out men?

I've never been on a date.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It would be so much easier if I were female. Then I wouldn't have to ask out anybody, they would ask ME out.

You really think it's that easy for us? Because I can tell you, no one has ever asked me out on a date.

How have you gotten dates, then? Do you ask out men?

I've never been on a date.

But you're in a relationship? How did that happen?

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

It would be so much easier if I were female. Then I wouldn't have to ask out anybody, they would ask ME out.

You really think it's that easy for us? Because I can tell you, no one has ever asked me out on a date.

How have you gotten dates, then? Do you ask out men?

I've never been on a date.

I thought you were married. you were discussing your husband losing weight in the obesity thread.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Muse, we met online. Gaming together.

And did I call him my husband, Liberty? I need to break that habit and quick!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Ah, I get you.

Me, I don't get into that.

Speaking of interests, I've always wanted to date a fellow musician. A chick with a guitar automatically makes her more attractive to me. Same as a chick with a book.

I can't seem to find a bookish, rocker chick who doesn't like to party, and who likes geeks. Meh.

 

[VanillaCreme]

To be fair, you never know what anyone likes, what they want or what they need until you get to know them. If you don't allow yourself to get to know some people and allow them to know you, there really is a slim chance it will ever happen. Oh and I know I've said this before, but it always rings true in so many cases. Never did I ever think I'd be with the type of guy my dude is. Never. If you looked back on how I was raised, and how he was raised, no one would think we'd even cross paths in life.

 

[Anten]

It would be so much easier if I were female. Then I wouldn't have to ask out anybody, they would ask ME out.

You really think it's that easy for us? Because I can tell you, no one has ever asked me out on a date.

How have you gotten dates, then? Do you ask out men?

I've never been on a date.

Do you want to go out on a virtual date?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Anten, that made me giggle. You so silly.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

From what I've been repeatedly told in the past, shy guys will often be treated like a defective product by women if they are seen as problematic and abnormal.

Furthermore, I ask myself; why would any woman want to waste her time with a man who cannot open up to her, let alone talk to her fluently?

 

[Frito Bandito]

I don't think all women cast aside shy men. That is a generalization. There are as many shades of woman out there as shades of men. However, they are rare.

Why would a woman "waste her time" on a shy man who can't "talk to her fluently"?

Idk, because I am not a woman. However I would guess that it would take a special woman (sensitive, deep) to be interested in such a man. She would also likely have the depth to realize all of his great qualities that she could pull out of him with a little coaxing. This does happen. It's not common though.

To say it doesn't happen from time to time would be to paint all women with the same broad strokes.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

What an excellent thread!

Makes a guy feel like maybe there is a chance with someone out there if he's confident and courteous.

 

[ShybutHi]

Ah, I get you.

Me, I don't get into that.

Speaking of interests, I've always wanted to date a fellow musician. A chick with a guitar automatically makes her more attractive to me. Same as a chick with a book.

I can't seem to find a bookish, rocker chick who doesn't like to party, and who likes geeks. Meh.

If you find one and she has a sister or friend with the same interests... Send her my way.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I've had a few women appreciate me, so...yeah they do.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

From what I've been repeatedly told in the past, shy guys will often be treated like a defective product by women if they are seen as problematic and abnormal.

Furthermore, I ask myself; why would any woman want to waste her time with a man who cannot open up to her, let alone talk to her fluently?

Let me reverse the situation:

How can a shy guy respect a woman who treats him as defective and abnormal, simply for his personality?

It doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do. And I suppose that's why so many shy and introverted guys become angry. They feel like the invisible man, and they see all the jerks getting the girls, so they lash out.