Being bullied

[evanescencefan91]

I was picked on a fair amount in middle school becuase I have a little bit of speech impediment, I have therapy and had a minor surgery so it's less noticble now, but I'm still self counscious about it, and so I'm ussally very quite around people.

What I hate about Bullies is that they just have this illusion that they are better than you, and that gives them the right to harass others.

 

[Bluey]

What I hate about Bullies is that they just have this illusion that they are better than you, and that gives them the right to harass others.

Yea I use to think that but now realise that they bully because of there own insecurities. If they where confident they would not need to bully, There just trying to prov something and fit in by being the big I am. Course that destroys a lot of childhoods and in the end dose no one any favors including the bully.

 

[Skorian]

I was bullied a little by a couple of people. Mostly on the school bus. Mostly though I was to good at staying invisible for even the bullies to knowtice me. I also think a few people knew I had a mean streak in me at the time because of what was going on at home. Only no one knew what was going on in our home.

Bullies make me think of the movie "Butterfly Effect" . If I could go back in time and deal with people who pushed me around. I wouldn't fight physically. I would use my mouth and have a much better idea of what to say.

 

[sloth4urluv]

I never really got bullied much at school (except in middle school, but that stopped after I kicked thats kids ass). Got made fun of more than bullied though.

High school I didnt get bullied or made fun of, mainly just ignored.

 

[Bluey]

I think every one has experienced bullying to a certain degree. Its when it goes to moor then just a bit of banter and it starts having the affect where you don't wont to go to school/work act and you can think of nothing else 24/7 that it becomes a problem.

 

[Larsen B]

Following on from what others have said, bullies are really not strong or dominant or powerful, they are weak. When you realise this, you can control the bully, because they have no idea what to do, and they defer to your empathic attitude. Just realise that they can be broken quicker than anybody else, just by talking to them, they don't like talking, they prefer to distract attention from themselves.

 

[finalfantasi]

I used to be bullied a lot when I was small.. I don't know why! I guess because I was too nice, I never told anyone(not even my close friends) or did anything back. I remember in grade school, this girl choked me and pushed me up against the bathroom wall and whispered things in my ear threatening me. I just laughed and smiled, I didn't do anything, just hoping she would let go and I would run. When I think about it now, I wonder why she picked on me... did it make her feel good having power over someone? I also had a friend that used to hit me a lot. Like put me in a wrestling move or w/e and hit me for fun. I almost cried once in front of her but held it in because she was my friend... kind of funny, because seven years later I talked to her again. She had been searching for me and she told me how sorry she was, because she remembered abusing me and I was such a good friend to her lol. She said it was because she used to be bullied when she was small so she acted tough to protect herself.. Later on in high school, I wasn't really physically bullied anymore, but emotionally bullied. People would call me names and make fun of me sometimes. All I did was laugh and smile at their jokes because I didn't want to start anything or egg them on(tried to pretend it didn't hurt my feelings). I don't really get why people make fun of others for no reason. I never really did anything else to anyone. Funny thing is that... I was friendly with all the people that bullied me. Once my brother told me that bullying is a good thing because it makes people stronger... I don't think so, it emotionally broke and scarred me. Yes, I may change myself outside to appear confident and strong, but inside I'm still hurt from my past.

 

[Bluey]

I think its a thing that the person who's being bulled is ashamed of it. I have often wondered why bullies bully. Any one who's different and don't fit into a box is in danger of being bullied I think. But why dose a bully feel the need to bully. Some say its cos they use to get bulled. Some say its a need to prove something to them self. It is something I do not understand and would very much like to understand the sociology behind it. I suppose it could just be the animal in us that we all feel the need to be top dog as it where. So primitive we are if you really think about it.

 

[Skorian]

I think its a thing that the person who's being bulled is ashamed of it. I have often wondered why bullies bully. Any one who's different and don't fit into a box is in danger of being bullied I think. But why dose a bully feel the need to bully. Some say its cos they use to get bulled. Some say its a need to prove something to them self. It is something I do not understand and would very much like to understand the sociology behind it. I suppose it could just be the animal in us that we all feel the need to be top dog as it where. So primitive we are if you really think about it.

Well as a kid I was quite a bully for a while. Mostly to my own brother. I did it cause I was being bullied by my own father. Most others also usually do it because they grew up being bullied only some people never outgrow it.

 

[Bluey]

Not every one who bullys did get bulled them self tho. But in any case that would still suggest that you was in need of proving something to your self and you did that by bullying your bro.

I have never been able to bully. And in fact have been bulled myself cos I stuck of for other ppl. I look at it that I was stronger enough to take it where the other person that got bulled just cried about it. I never got anything of the two ppl I did that for. Both separate achenes. and in fact I ended up fighting one of them as he tried bullying me him self in with the crowed that I saved him from.

After that I did not bully but did not help anyone. I just keeped my head down and was the class clown as if ppl where laughing at me they was not bulling me. problem is your not concentrating on your work why your clowning around.

 

[Skorian]

Strange thing is someone stood up for me in highschool against a bully once and I snaped pretty sharply at them It's like your not able to stand up for yourself and now someone else is which just makes you feel even lower.

Bullies try to feel better about themselves by putting others down.

 

[blak000]

I got bullied my freshman year in high school. It happened about once or twice a week by different groups of people. At the end of the school year, I experienced a particularly bad episode. A handful of seniors brought along their little 8th grade "apprentices" along and bullied me outside of a local movie theater. They took my money, kicked me around, and spit their drinks in my face. I was never so humiliated in my life. I realized that it wasn't ever going to stop unless I did something about it. After that moment, I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone push me around like that again, and I stuck to it.

I went after every single person that ever bullied me, and bullied them back. If they ever walked by me, I'd push them or stare them down. I'd cuss and laugh in their face. I basically did anything I could to try and aggravate them, but they wouldn't retaliate; before the beginning of sophomore year, I had attacked some kids with a steel pipe (along with some of my friends from a different school), and everyone knew about it. I also didn't keep it a secret that I carried weapons around with me. By the end of sophomore year, every single person that had pushed me around before was too scared to even look me in the face.

Of course, when you undergo such extreme personal changes, your life circumstances are bound to change, too. I was still friends with all the "geeks" and "nerds" at my high school, but I also started hanging out with a lot of kids who were in gangs (partly in case any of the people I pushed around decided to get me back). I started getting into LOTS of trouble; I started ditching school, getting into fights, shoplifting, etc. My family, along with many of the families in my community, were terrified of me (they told me this years later). I got called in to the police station more than once for things I didn't even do. My reputation was so bad, that anytime there was trouble people naturally assumed I was involved. Eventually, I got kicked out of my high school, got put on probation, and became even more violent.

I went from being a nice, shy kid to an extremely violent, hateful individual. A part of me feels glad that I did it; I learned to stand up for myself, and not back down to people no matter how big or scary they appeared. On the other hand, I regret all the damage I caused to other people. I made it a point only to push around those that tried to do it to me, but I'm sure I probably did it to some innocent kids, too.

I remember, one day, being told by a friend that he overheard some guy calling me a bully. I ended up becoming the very thing I hated so much. Some days, I just sit and shake my head, unable to believe all the crazy crap I used to do as a teenager. Nowadays, I try to take the peaceful route at all costs. I've realized that violence only feeds into more violence, and it can turn a person into something truly ugly.

Some of you say you'd stand up for yourselves and fight back. At that age, though, you don't know what would have happened. Things could have spiraled out of control for you, like it did with me. When I first started out, I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. It took me a lot of years to bounce back from that -- to train myself not to have that violent mentality anymore. When you see the faces of the people that pushed you around filled with fear, the feeling you get becomes addicting. You start wanting everyone that ever hurt you to feel that fear.

 

[lonelyloser]

I feel so bad about being bullied, all the up until college. The truth is that the bullies are out of control. There's never anyone to stop them. I'd say about 1% of bullies actually get caught. Think about it, if they didn't aggravate you, then you wouldn't have become violent. The sad thing is I never told any teachers cause I would afraid of what would happen if they found out. I didn't want to get beat up really bad so I tolerated the bullying. It's a really dangerous problem.

 

[Silvernight]

I was also bullied in high school, mainly because of glasses and being shy and a nerd, but somehow I always had enough of aggression in me to stand up for myself, athough I was (still am) a small skinny girl. My dear bullying classmates had quickly grasped the fact that trying to push me around was not a very bright idea, so they limited themselves to trading insults. I even retaliated against the obviously stronger opponents too, in which cases I often ended up flying a few meters back onto the ground. Yeah, it wasn't very wise but it allowed me to retain respect for myself so I can't say that bullying left any negative trace on my life. Worse than the physical bullying was psychological, however. I was constantly mocked because of the aforementioned glasses and back then I reacted to that very sensitively. Now I've gotten over that silly notion, of course.

 

[Controlling_Freak]

I am just wondering how many ppl hear got bullied when they where at school are still are getting bullied know.

I got bullied at school and it takes every thing away from you. I was not the most confident pupil at school and being called names and having paper clips fired at you and what not did nothing for the bit of confidence I did have.

I wish I could go back now with what I know now and do it again. I would not let them get away with it now. Every time I was pushed to the flow I should of got up and smacked them strait in the mouth. What would be the worst that could happen? I get beat on. But at least they would get hurt as well. Are I would tell the world what was happening instead of shouting up and being ashamed of it. Its not my fault that this happened but back then I was so ashamed of it I told no one.

Being called and sometimes physically hit every day at school tacks confidence away from you on a lively that no one should have to deal with. No wonder I struggle with my spelling. I have learnt moor on grammar and spelling in the past 2 years from posting on forums then I ever did at school. But when you don't feel relaxed and are constantly looking over your shoulder its not surprising that I did not even grasp the basics of english litrecher.

Being frightened to go to school is something no kid should have to fear. I do think that if I had told ppl and been different about things back then that I would now have a completely different life. But to have been different back then I would have needed some confidence to have dealt with the bullying. so its kinder a catch 22. Know I would sooner be killed fighting then feel the shame that I felt back then in knowing that I let them get away with doing all the stuff they did. I should of told my dad even tho he would of thought less of me and yes I still think that he would of done and am now 32 but **** it I should of any way. It least then I could of started dealing with the problem instead of baring my head in the sand.

I just watched something on TV about it and it burt a few things back to me. This girl that was being bullied. God I felt so sorry for her. If only I could put what is in sighed my head into hers. She would know there are ways to deal with it. But it goes back to having no confidence to do any thing about it. That's the problem. Bout time you do get the confidence the damage has already been done.

My advice to any one that's getting bullied. Tell the howl wide world. A teacher, mum, dad any one that well lessen no matter how silly you feel. Get help and know there is no shame in asking for help. No one is an island. We all need help from time to time in life.

This might sound odd...but I been bullied and have been a bully myself

 

[Skorian]

Loosens his troll wacker in his belt... Just in case..

 

[Bluey]

I was also bullied in high school, mainly because of glasses and being shy and a nerd, but somehow I always had enough of aggression in me to stand up for myself, athough I was (still am) a small skinny girl. My dear bullying classmates had quickly grasped the fact that trying to push me around was not a very bright idea, so they limited themselves to trading insults. I even retaliated against the obviously stronger opponents too, in which cases I often ended up flying a few meters back onto the ground. Yeah, it wasn't very wise but it allowed me to retain respect for myself so I can't say that bullying left any negative trace on my life. Worse than the physical bullying was psychological, however. I was constantly mocked because of the aforementioned glasses and back then I reacted to that very sensitively. Now I've gotten over that silly notion, of course.

I think actually it was the insults that do the most damage. Its obverse what has happened with the physical stuff and if that gets to bad then someone somewhere is going to notice something is
wrong.

With the name calling it dose just as much damage but is well hidden. Its not even really about the name calling but if your being picked on in that way no one else is going to be your friend as they don't wont to be called along with you. Its all physiological and some ppl take it with them into adult life where as some ppl don't. I would say am over everything that happened at school now. But I do know ppl that are not and probably never well be. problem with the verbal side of bullying is the only way that is going to stop is if the person on the receiving end tells the necessary ppl. And the longer that goes on the less likely that person is going to say something. It ruins confidence and if it happens when young it can lead to other problems in life.

I well say again ppl that get bulled need to know its nothing that they have done and is nothing to be ashamed of and need to start talking. Bullies do not like other ppl to know whats happening.

No one is an island

 

[Bluey]

This might sound odd...but I been bullied and have been a bully myself

That doesnt sound odd. Its a common thing actually.

I think that ppl probably bully for different reasons now. To fit in, to prove something to them self are just cos they don't realise the damage there doing and are having fun at other ppl's expense.

Ether way its not on and should be stopped be for real damage gets done.

 

[helen]

well, i got bullied quite a lot in school. i moved around a lot when i was a kid, so i kept changing schools in the middle of terms, which meant i was always the new girl and always on the outside, so i was always an easy target. i'd like to say i fought back, or i had enough strength and self-respect to not take it... but i didn't.

 

[Fulgrim]

In my old school there was this one kid who had the same name as me and we were always made fun of. As the years went by I became a pretty big guy and people stopped messing with me (I didnt rise to the bait and hung out with a giant football player who suprisingly was a nerd) while he remained a short skinny guy. Whenever he got pushed around I felt like I should have helped out, I knew I could have and noone would really care to much....but I felt it better that I just stand back and not get involved, last I heard someone beat him up pretty badly for standing up to them and I feel its my fault for not helping him years ago. I could have been a good person and done the right thing but I chose to sit back and laugh with the rest of the crowd....even if I knew it was wrong on the inside.