Being bullied

[Lonely Heart]

I got bullied for all of my childhood, and not just for being gay either. Got verbally abused and beaten up virtually every day I went to school. 40% of that was from people who I thought were my friends as well. That's probably why I find it difficult to let my guard down and trust other people, and thus why I'm lonely.

I think this one reason why ppl white tell they have left school be for they come out. At what age did you become open about being gay? I would say something like that at school would be like hell on earth for ppl to know something like that.

I would say they was not really a friend if they bullied you as well. Well some ppl bullied so they did not get bullied themselves, maybe that's why your friends did this to you as well. I would say in that way life gets better when you have left school. School can be the hardest time of your life. PPL that say its the best time of your life really make me laugh. I mean I would go back and do it all again but only if I know what I know now. Since that's imposable there would be no way I would like to re-live those years.

When I was in Year 8 I came out to a select group of people. I thought they were my friends... but they spread it around the whole school and joined in when I was being taunted by the other people.

I'm so glad I've left school - I can't wait until college. Out of curiosity, if you could go back to school, what would YOU do differently.

 

[Bluey]

You well have to forgive me but how old would you had been in year 8? Am a bit out of touch with how they do the years now lol

Well I could imagine news like that is like prob the best gossip they all had in years. I think your like well brave to have said anything to anyone why you was at school.

If I could of done anything differently I would have told ppl I was getting bullied. I would of told the hole bleeding world. And I would not have felt no shame in doing that. This about the only thing I regret. Well I am what I am to day partly for my experiences at school. I do not have any regrets really. I do think I have made the most out of every opportunity that has come my way. But ye to go back with the knowledge that it is nothing to be ashamed of cos your getting bullied. That would of meant I would not be frightened to go to school and get that horrible feeling I used to get every morning be for school. I mean you spend all night thinking about the next day to. There really is only Friday night and Saturday that you get a rest from the horrid feelings. So just to talk and tell everyone who well lesson what was happening would be the thing I would change.

What about you? would you had told them what you did when you did if you could do it over again?

 

[davechaos]

Don't ever be ashamed for being the person that you are...most bullies are showing their own signs of insecurity so they take it out on what they don't or won't understand.

My time at school was ok but I wish that I had taken a few risks and been brave...perhaps made some difficult decisions and chose the hard path rather than the easy one...perhaps I would not have to face some of the demons I have to face now...but you can't think about what you may have done differently...if it was that easy then we wouldn't be the people we are today.

 

[Lonely Heart]

You well have to forgive me but how old would you had been in year 8? Am a bit out of touch with how they do the years now lol

I would have been 13.

What about you? would you had told them what you did when you did if you could do it over again?

Well the fact that I was bullied a lot meant that I now don't trust people, I'm cripplingly shy and I just don't care about people that much. Being bullied wrecked my extrovertism. On the one hand if I was never bullied, I would be able to talk to people, I'd be more outgoing and I'd be more interested in people... on the other hand being bullied has revealed to me what the nature of people is really like... so why would I want to socialise with people? Why would I want to put myself out there if I know what the outcome will be? Why would I want to be interested in society and its values when they don't apply to me? Every time I let my guard down, I get shot in the gut. The best thing to do is just keep it up.

 

[Bluey]

You well have to forgive me but how old would you had been in year 8? Am a bit out of touch with how they do the years now lol

I would have been 13.

What about you? would you had told them what you did when you did if you could do it over again?

Well the fact that I was bullied a lot meant that I now don't trust people, I'm cripplingly shy and I just don't care about people that much. Being bullied wrecked my extrovertism. On the one hand if I was never bullied, I would be able to talk to people, I'd be more outgoing and I'd be more interested in people... on the other hand being bullied has revealed to me what the nature of people is really like... so why would I want to socialise with people? Why would I want to put myself out there if I know what the outcome will be? Why would I want to be interested in society and its values when they don't apply to me? Every time I let my guard down, I get shot in the gut. The best thing to do is just keep it up.

13 is very young to come out, considering some ppl dont do that well into there adulthood. That most of took some bottle.

You have only been left school for a few years, I would say that your still mending from all the things they did to do. you need to understand one thing though. kids are cruel and them same ppl may regret a lot of what they did when they get older. Or they may not remember things the same as you did. I mean if everyone took the mick only a little bit then they well think that you sew it as a joke. But to you it would have seemed overwhelming cos so many ppl was doing it. Do you get where am coming from. Its difficult sometimes to put things into prospective when your looking from the inside.

I had a old "friend" come up to me one night down town. He used to bully me at school and I had not seen him for about 7 - 8 years at the time and he was all like hayyyyy! mate how you doing. I was drunk at the time and I am normally a very nice guy when drunk. I had this right bad feeling in side me where I just wonted to rip into him with everything I had. I got right up into hes face and was like get the **** out my face be for I kill you you peace of ****. The next day i thought about what I had done and thinking about it he was only one of the kids that used to take the piss. To him he probably thought it not a big a deal as I did. it was at this point that decided that I needed to let go of this and move on. If I sew him now I would recognize that we are no longer in school, I have changed, he has hopefully moved on.

What am saying is you can't hang on to the passed. you have to give the future ppl you meet a chance and not judge them be for you have even got to know them.

Also there was one guy that I used to know at school. Years later I seen him in town and hes like totally gay now. I would had never had guessed that from him. he was always like totally one of the lads. So goes to show ppl don't act them self at school. there just trying to get fro the same as you. maybe some of this kids who took the piss out of you was doing it to cover hes own feelings and thoughts up? You just do never know.

 

[Lonely Heart]

You well have to forgive me but how old would you had been in year 8? Am a bit out of touch with how they do the years now lol

I would have been 13.

What about you? would you had told them what you did when you did if you could do it over again?

Well the fact that I was bullied a lot meant that I now don't trust people, I'm cripplingly shy and I just don't care about people that much. Being bullied wrecked my extrovertism. On the one hand if I was never bullied, I would be able to talk to people, I'd be more outgoing and I'd be more interested in people... on the other hand being bullied has revealed to me what the nature of people is really like... so why would I want to socialise with people? Why would I want to put myself out there if I know what the outcome will be? Why would I want to be interested in society and its values when they don't apply to me? Every time I let my guard down, I get shot in the gut. The best thing to do is just keep it up.

13 is very young to come out, considering some ppl dont do that well into there adulthood. That most of took some bottle.

You have only been left school for a few years, I would say that your still mending from all the things they did to do. you need to understand one thing though. kids are cruel and them same ppl may regret a lot of what they did when they get older. Or they may not remember things the same as you did. I mean if everyone took the mick only a little bit then they well think that you sew it as a joke. But to you it would have seemed overwhelming cos so many ppl was doing it. Do you get where am coming from. Its difficult sometimes to put things into prospective when your looking from the inside.

I had a old "friend" come up to me one night down town. He used to bully me at school and I had not seen him for about 7 - 8 years at the time and he was all like hayyyyy! mate how you doing. I was drunk at the time and I am normally a very nice guy when drunk. I had this right bad feeling in side me where I just wonted to rip into him with everything I had. I got right up into hes face and was like get the **** out my face be for I kill you you peace of ****. The next day i thought about what I had done and thinking about it he was only one of the kids that used to take the piss. To him he probably thought it not a big a deal as I did. it was at this point that decided that I needed to let go of this and move on. If I sew him now I would recognize that we are no longer in school, I have changed, he has hopefully moved on.

What am saying is you can't hang on to the passed. you have to give the future ppl you meet a chance and not judge them be for you have even got to know them.

Also there was one guy that I used to know at school. Years later I seen him in town and hes like totally gay now. I would had never had guessed that from him. he was always like totally one of the lads. So goes to show ppl don't act them self at school. there just trying to get fro the same as you. maybe some of this kids who took the piss out of you was doing it to cover hes own feelings and thoughts up? You just do never know.

Hmmm... I'll wait until I've mended then. Otherwise I could be left with bitterness for the rest of my life...

On an unrelated note, judging by what you said to that guy, I'd hate to have bullied you at school!

 

[Bluey]

Hmmm... I'll wait until I've mended then. Otherwise I could be left with bitterness for the rest of my life...

On an unrelated note, judging by what you said to that guy, I'd hate to have bullied you at school!

Well this is the thing. If we held a grudge to the ppl that bulled us then we are the ones that hurt not them. we do ourselves no favors by not forgiving them and moving on. This dose not mean you have to be friends with this ppl. If there still no good then just don't have anything to do with them. fined the ppl that are going to treat you like a friend should. Just understand that real life is not like school and acting like they did at school is just not exportable in the grown up world that you now live in. You well never have to relive those years again, So there for what is the point of holding on to them? get me?

I think it did me good to go at that guy like I did. I proved to myself that I was no longer the pushover I used to be. When you know you don't have a problem in sticking up for your self you don't need to fight. You just walk away. I am not a big guy at all. I also would not hurt a fly. But I would not let my self be pushed around any moor. I would ask for help or report whoever but I would not suffer. That's the one thing I would not allow anyone to do to me anymore.

 

[GHOSTNYOURMIST]

Yes I know what it's like. I was bullied alot in school but also at the house, seems my father got great pleasure from showing me he was the man of house. My earliest chidhood memory is of getting hit. I would get teased at school and had a fight every day after I got off the school bus. (the same bully for years) his brothers would hold me down and he would hit me. I would run to my house and my "dad" would come in and hit me some more for not standing up for myself. The school was bad but at the house was worse. If I spilled milk or something "dad" would hit me with his belt until blood run down my legs. I would pray that he would just finish it. God, if he would have finished it I wouldn't feel dead inside now and his sorry ass would be in jail. He would hit me with his fist in front of the few friends I had to show he was the boss. I left home at 18 but he had managed to destroy an self-confidence I would ever have. As for the bully, I just lost it one day and his brothers weren't there and I beat the living crap out of him, if someone hadn't stopped me I would have killed him. I tried too. I'm not proud of it, it still hurts to think about it. Nobody ever wins a fight, his cuts healed but my scars are forever. If you have ever read any of my posts I never call my house a home, a home is full of love, and I've never had that. I stopped the cycle, I've never hit my daughter or my wife, even though my wife told me she has never loved me and just used me to survive I would never hurt her. After 40 years I still wish he would have finished it sometimes.

 

[Blue]

Wow, GHOSTNYOURMIST...that's really sad...
I am getting bullied by my own roommates here in my hostel but...it's nothing compared to what you've been through. I feel sorry for you...T_T

I'm so glad I've left school - I can't wait until college. Cool Out of curiosity, if you could go back to school, what would YOU do differently.

I was always picked on in secondary school, and I thought life in college would be different, but no. I'm still being bullied...*sob*..
But, if I could go back to school, I would choose my friends more wisely. It's not fun when you have to be friends with the same people who are bullying you. But you have no choice but to hang out with them when you have no other friends.

 

[GHOSTNYOURMIST]

Don't feel sorry for me Blue, The past is the past and the future is now. Some people are still living the hell. I'll be fine. Pray for them.

 

[Bluey]

Yes I know what it's like. I was bullied alot in school but also at the house, seems my father got great pleasure from showing me he was the man of house. My earliest chidhood memory is of getting hit. I would get teased at school and had a fight every day after I got off the school bus. (the same bully for years) his brothers would hold me down and he would hit me. I would run to my house and my "dad" would come in and hit me some more for not standing up for myself. The school was bad but at the house was worse. If I spilled milk or something "dad" would hit me with his belt until blood run down my legs. I would pray that he would just finish it. God, if he would have finished it I wouldn't feel dead inside now and his sorry ass would be in jail. He would hit me with his fist in front of the few friends I had to show he was the boss. I left home at 18 but he had managed to destroy an self-confidence I would ever have. As for the bully, I just lost it one day and his brothers weren't there and I beat the living crap out of him, if someone hadn't stopped me I would have killed him. I tried too. I'm not proud of it, it still hurts to think about it. Nobody ever wins a fight, his cuts healed but my scars are forever. If you have ever read any of my posts I never call my house a home, a home is full of love, and I've never had that. I stopped the cycle, I've never hit my daughter or my wife, even though my wife told me she has never loved me and just used me to survive I would never hurt her. After 40 years I still wish he would have finished it sometimes.

My dad had that of hes dad. I never understand why he never speaks badly off hes dad. But even now he has marks on hes back from where hes dad hit him with a belt as a kid. My grandad is dead now and from what I have been told about him from my Nana I think its probably a good thing.

Your right in no one ever wins a fight. Win or lose both ppl get hurt so no one wins.

Also I have said this about the place I live in. Its not a home. A home is where love is. There is only me living here so its just a place to live. All though I do like where I live and I have made it as homely as one can.

Interesting that ppl like your dad thinks cos he can hit and beat ppl up that should give him respect. I never understood that logic. I would never respect someone cos they was good at fighting. That just means there bigger and stronger. I think this ppl just mistake that the ppl around them are frightened so keep out there way. They mistake this for respect. Very stupid and ignorant ppl.

I moved out off home at 20 cos of the hole my roof my rules power trip crap. My dad dose have a bad temper. Well did, we actually get on much better now. But he has never hit me. And I respect him cos hes worked like a dog hes hole life.

 

[Lonely Heart]

I was always picked on in secondary school, and I thought life in college would be different, but no. I'm still being bullied...*sob*..

!!! There's no escape!!!

 

[BlackCat]

Being bullied sucks. I stopped being bullied after I got violent about it, but I highly recommend you not doing that. You guys know how school goes. Somehow someone finds out about some random, embarrassing thing. Yeah. In the 8th grade they found out I was Wiccan. Pretty tough stuff, seeing as how this is the bible bumper center of the universe. I was called a devil worshipper (that was the least of the things that I was called and threatened with.) pretty much daily by the bullies.

One day, I just snapped.

I remember we were doing a project that included us writing random stuff on notecards. We each got about 100 or so notecards, so it was about 1 inch thick. One day someone who was being annoying kicked me in the shin. I don't even remember what he called me, but I know that he called me something. I got so outraged, I went into one of those rages where you don't know what you did, and poof. There he was, lying on the ground. I had thrown about 2 pounds worth of note cards, all rubber banded together, right at him. I'm not exactly a small guy either. At that time I was probibally 5'11 weighing in at about 190-200 pounds (I am mostly muscle). It hit him in the eye. He wore glasses too to make it worse. His glasses totally shattered. There were shards of class in his head, and his head was swollen about 4 or 5 inches out where I had hit him. I got one day of suspension for what I did, the school's counselor (which I had been seeing every day for the past year) stuck up for me, explaining that everyone picked on me. So that took off some of the punishment I would have gotten.

I sure enjoyed my day off. My dad said "I'm glad you got that *******." I felt devastated at myself though, the magic words "Harm none" were going through my head from my Rede over and over again, driving me nuts. But that was before I realized that it helped me more than harmed them, I was never picked on again. Just left totally alone.

So. The moral of the story is: Do not EVER let bullying get to you. Those poor children that do it to you are probibally leading troubled lives at home, who's lives are dictated by peer pressure from their other bully friends. If you get personal with them and out talk them, then they may be intimidated of you. It is also intimidating to act nice to them and act like they are doing nothing at all, it shows you are stronger than them.

I hate bullies, the schools really need to stop it from going on.

~Blessed be~

-Chris

EDIT: Corrected a mistake

 

[Bluey]

Good on you mate. I would say it did you moor good then it did him harm as well. Even though your not normally like that, sometimes you have to do things like that. I mean it did stop the bulling

So. The moral of the story is: Do not EVER let bullying get to you. Those poor children that do it to you are probibally leading troubled lives at home, who's lives are dictated by peer pressure from their other bully friends. If you get personal with them and out talk them, then they may be intimidated of you. It is also intimidating to act nice to them and act like they are doing nothing at all, it shows you are stronger than them.

I hate bullies, the schools really need to stop it from going on.

Well said, I think that's probably true that they are not so happy other wise why would they do it.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Unacceptance]

I guess I was lucky to an extent school wise. I spent a semester of 6th grade in a bad part of Los Angeles going to a middle school that was a gang war zone.

I saw bags of crack in the class rooms, we had armed police officers patrolling the grounds and marching kids around, when a kid tried to take a dump, a bunch of other kids ran into the bathroom and threw rocks at him until he was all bloody. I once went into the bathroom (Which to get into, you had to say the gang name three times to the guy who would "guard it") and while taking a leak the guy next to me had a knife held up to his throat and was told to hand over his money or his member would get cut off. I was later chased home by some cholo with a knife one day until I ran to a local police station.

Then my mom got a job in Colorado, we moved. The mentality stuck with me that everyday is a battle and moving to the white bread suburbanite schools here was really no problem. People didn't want a piece of me here. I may have been an outcast, feared, and talked about behind my back, but people didn't mess with me. Middle school was a walk in the park. I got into the gifted talented program, and even though those are usually the kids that get picked on, as a former friend of mine put it I "Had the school in a stranglehold."

One time the most popular kid in our class made fun of me, badly. I bided my time, I had made friends with the biggest and meanest kids in the school, the kids who were allowed to drink alcohol at home, the guys who were from poor neighborhoods like me, that were in gangs, and I made that wannabe bully cry in front of the school during break. They didn't even touch him, just their threats made him weep.

Another time another kid on the bus made fun of me so that everybody else was pointing and laughing. A friend of that popular clique. I got a hold of him later and demonstrated a few pro-wrestling moves on him all over the school ground.

Generally I didn't take anyone's crap, if I was going to be treated as an animal, I'd act like one too.

High school wasn't that big a deal either. Right before I entered, Columbine happened, about an hour from where i went to school. So there was a whole bully stigma. I got bothered once by a guy I never saw again. Outside of that, I was the type to dress in combat boots and heavy metal shirts. The ignorant popular kids saw all the kids in black as belonging to the same group. Worked to my advantage I guess.

All in all, I didn't tolerate getting bullied. Life is awful enough as it is to let another ******* make it personal.

 

[Bluey]

That is ****** up if that's how school was to start with man. I would say the move you made was a good one.
I don't ever think its a good idea to make friends with ppl just cos how hard they are. You well not get far in life by making friends with ppl like that. OK it served a pupers at the time. But still I don't think its the best way to go. To study and to do moor study after school at uni or college is the way to get a good life.

 

[Unacceptance]

That is ****** up if that's how school was to start with man. I would say the move you made was a good one.
I don't ever think its a good idea to make friends with ppl just cos how hard they are. You well not get far in life by making friends with ppl like that. OK it served a pupers at the time. But still I don't think its the best way to go. To study and to do moor study after school at uni or college is the way to get a good life.

I had already made friends out of those guys, I didn't specifically go and MAKE friends with them because I was being bullied.

I just tended to end up associating with with folks like that in school, the angry types. I've always been a little disgruntled about life, I guess certain types of people tend to gravitate towards each other. Even nowadays when I've met people at college, the happy go lucky fashionable types and I tend to keep our distance.

 

[Bluey]

That is ****** up if that's how school was to start with man. I would say the move you made was a good one.
I don't ever think its a good idea to make friends with ppl just cos how hard they are. You well not get far in life by making friends with ppl like that. OK it served a pupers at the time. But still I don't think its the best way to go. To study and to do moor study after school at uni or college is the way to get a good life.

I had already made friends out of those guys, I didn't specifically go and MAKE friends with them because I was being bullied.

I just tended to end up associating with with folks like that in school, the angry types. I've always been a little disgruntled about life, I guess certain types of people tend to gravitate towards each other. Even nowadays when I've met people at college, the happy go lucky fashionable types and I tend to keep our distance.

Ye I get what you mean. Well the thing is if you gravitate towards them sort of ppl then that is the kinder ppl you well end up being friends with. Surly you would like friends that do not loss there rag so fast and have moor of a carm approach to life? I would say if you had friends like that then life might be better? But I would also say that you may have to come across differently yourself to get that first. This is just my honest opinion on the limited information I have though. So should be taken with a pinch of salt.

 

[Unacceptance]

Ye I get what you mean. Well the thing is if you gravitate towards them sort of ppl then that is the kinder ppl you well end up being friends with. Surly you would like friends that do not loss there rag so fast and have moor of a carm approach to life? I would say if you had friends like that then life might be better? But I would also say that you may have to come across differently yourself to get that first. This is just my honest opinion on the limited information I have though. So should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Really I only have 1 person I'd consider a friend.

I usually get along with people, but at arm's length. Remember, this whole group of folks was in middle school, 10 years ago, the last real time I attempted to socialize.

 

[Bluey]

Ye I get what you mean. Well the thing is if you gravitate towards them sort of ppl then that is the kinder ppl you well end up being friends with. Surly you would like friends that do not loss there rag so fast and have moor of a carm approach to life? I would say if you had friends like that then life might be better? But I would also say that you may have to come across differently yourself to get that first. This is just my honest opinion on the limited information I have though. So should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Really I only have 1 person I'd consider a friend.

I usually get along with people, but at arm's length. Remember, this whole group of folks was in middle school, 10 years ago, the last real time I attempted to socialize.

What kinder person is your friend? Also, why don't you try and socialize? You might make a good friend out of it or even a GF.