Being bullied

[Bluey]

well, i got bullied quite a lot in school. i moved around a lot when i was a kid, so i kept changing schools in the middle of terms, which meant i was always the new girl and always on the outside, so i was always an easy target. i'd like to say i fought back, or i had enough strength and self-respect to not take it... but i didn't.

I think it can be harder for girls to make friends when they are at school. So ye moving around a lot would have been difficult for you. Plus friends should make you feel good about yourself and give you things in common with one another so should give you confidence. cos you did not have this I would say that's why you did not have the confidence to stand up for yourself.

 

[Bluey]

In my old school there was this one kid who had the same name as me and we were always made fun of. As the years went by I became a pretty big guy and people stopped messing with me (I didnt rise to the bait and hung out with a giant football player who suprisingly was a nerd) while he remained a short skinny guy. Whenever he got pushed around I felt like I should have helped out, I knew I could have and noone would really care to much....but I felt it better that I just stand back and not get involved, last I heard someone beat him up pretty badly for standing up to them and I feel its my fault for not helping him years ago. I could have been a good person and done the right thing but I chose to sit back and laugh with the rest of the crowd....even if I knew it was wrong on the inside.

You was hes friend right? How could you just let that happen if you had the means and the ability to stop it? I would have totally riped there head of for my friend. But that's maybe cos I know what its like to be laughed at and ridiculed and pushed to the floor so easily.

I appreciate your honesty man I really do just your not saying you didn't intervene cos you where frightened. You saying you just didn't. Why I ask?

 

[helen]

well, i got bullied quite a lot in school. i moved around a lot when i was a kid, so i kept changing schools in the middle of terms, which meant i was always the new girl and always on the outside, so i was always an easy target. i'd like to say i fought back, or i had enough strength and self-respect to not take it... but i didn't.

I think it can be harder for girls to make friends when they are at school. So ye moving around a lot would have been difficult for you. Plus friends should make you feel good about yourself and give you things in common with one another so should give you confidence. cos you did not have this I would say that's why you did not have the confidence to stand up for yourself.

yeah, that's quite true. i was always really tall growing up as well so that made me out to be a target. after a while you just start to think that the whole class/school/town is against you, which they probably weren't, but when you're stuck on the outside it's easy to think like that.

 

[Bluey]

well, i got bullied quite a lot in school. i moved around a lot when i was a kid, so i kept changing schools in the middle of terms, which meant i was always the new girl and always on the outside, so i was always an easy target. i'd like to say i fought back, or i had enough strength and self-respect to not take it... but i didn't.

I think it can be harder for girls to make friends when they are at school. So ye moving around a lot would have been difficult for you. Plus friends should make you feel good about yourself and give you things in common with one another so should give you confidence. cos you did not have this I would say that's why you did not have the confidence to stand up for yourself.

yeah, that's quite true. i was always really tall growing up as well so that made me out to be a target. after a while you just start to think that the whole class/school/town is against you, which they probably weren't, but when you're stuck on the outside it's easy to think like that.

ye being on the outside well do that to you. Other kids would not have thought about the way you where feeling. A lot of tall ppl feel how you did I think. I am really short so not something I have ever had a problem with. I have always stood out from the crowed though with the way I walk so do understand what its like to just wont to be like everyone else.

I think at 23 you may still be trying to get over stuff that happened to you back then. After all at 23 it doesn't make it that long ago really. I would say that am over most things that happened to me as a kid as far as the bulling part of it goes. I do know ppl that are well into there 30's and still get angry with them self for what happened to them as a kid. You have to realise that most of the kids that bullied probably did not even realise they was doing it. About 8 years ago I bumped into someone that's use to bully me at school down town and I had, had a bit to drink and he was like hay!!! jono,, how you doing mate. Ill this anger come out from in me and I have no clue where it come from. I stood up to him face to face and said "get out my face are am going to ******* break you, you ****." He simply just walked of. I thought about what had happened that night many times and thought how could he expect me to be friendly with how much he put me though at school. The answer I gave my self is that he probably did not realize how bad he was doing it are has probably forgot as it wasn't such a big a deal for him as it was for me at the time and is now an adult and there for changed. So from that time I decided that I have to change as well. OK so it took moor then one night for me to get over that. But I did. If I could go back there to that time there would be other things I would change be for that. Just at the time its the biggest deal in the world and dose make it so you don't wont to go to school. It can ruin your life.

oh sorry for the longish post. I get to have a bit to much time on my hands usually on a Sunday. Its a problem for anyone that I may reply back to on here lol

 

[Minus]

I was at times. I was and still am extremely quiet and socially isolated. That made me a safe target for those that had an interest in trying to build up a rep as a tough bad ass.

 

[Fulgrim]

In my old school there was this one kid who had the same name as me and we were always made fun of. As the years went by I became a pretty big guy and people stopped messing with me (I didnt rise to the bait and hung out with a giant football player who suprisingly was a nerd) while he remained a short skinny guy. Whenever he got pushed around I felt like I should have helped out, I knew I could have and noone would really care to much....but I felt it better that I just stand back and not get involved, last I heard someone beat him up pretty badly for standing up to them and I feel its my fault for not helping him years ago. I could have been a good person and done the right thing but I chose to sit back and laugh with the rest of the crowd....even if I knew it was wrong on the inside.

You was hes friend right? How could you just let that happen if you had the means and the ability to stop it? I would have totally riped there head of for my friend. But that's maybe cos I know what its like to be laughed at and ridiculed and pushed to the floor so easily.

I appreciate your honesty man I really do just your not saying you didn't intervene cos you where frightened. You saying you just didn't. Why I ask?

he wasnt my friend, we barely knew each other. It was just something that I knew I could have stopped but didnt do, due to the possible implications. I was doing well and not getting bullied anymore, he on the other hand got loads of it. Back then I saw it as better him than me, Karma. I know thats cruel but I was an 8th grader and and I had some popular friends (none of which I talk to anymore, they went on to be preps and jocks while I became a loner) that I didnt want to give up. Try giving a starving man a feast then saying your taking it back after the first bite and see what his reaction will be. Im not proud of what I did but what is in the past cant be changed.

But all that is not to say taht I dont stand up for my friends, on several occassions (freshman year I beleive?) some of my friends were being messed with by some ******** and I had my jock friend help me make them see their error in judgement...nothing like canning preps in the quad during lunch to tell someone to lay the F**K off. First time I've ever seen a freshman do the hazing at a high school....quite a sight.

 

[HiddenHydey]

Well, I sure as can't look down on you (especially not me). Hell, the gates into heaven are guarded by a someone awful similar, and I guess it's hard to say that any of us were noble in the 8th grade (that's about 12-13 right?).

I was at times. I was and still am extremely quiet and socially isolated. That made me a safe target for those that had an interest in trying to build up a rep as a tough bad ass.

Yeah, people are funny that way. Surely the most badass of badasses would be the one's who kicked reason to the curb and actually beat up someone else who could fight or something. Guess all the usual crap about people's own insecurities has been said before but it kinda really drives it home. Really pisses me off as well, I was so sure that I was strong in some way but it just turns out that you're still as weak as you used to be in every way. I was so sure I could just leave

My condolences to both you guys, though I can't say I didn't expect more from a guy called Fulgrim (decadent ******* )

 

[Hijacc]

That bullyshit pisses me off last time i saw somone being bullied i
got into a fight i lost but hey at least i tried right.

 

[HiddenHydey]

That bullyshit pisses me off last time i saw somone being bullied i
got into a fight i lost but hey at least i tried right.

**** yeah +20 Gar points going your way! Still suppose talking your way down is preferable (if ******* unrealistic some of the time given certain social dynamics).

 

[Bluey]

guess it's hard to say that any of us were noble in the 8th grade (that's about 12-13 right?).

True, I suppose we could be forgiven at that age for stuff.
Suppose at that age where just looking out for number 1 and nothing else was important. just some ppl never move on from that and all the decent sort see the error of there ways and learn from it. Doing nothing is as bad sometimes as doing it yourself. But we would not know that at such a young age but should by the time we leave school or by the age of 13.

 

[Hijacc]

I remember i used to be a real ass to people just a couple years ago i used to pick on people now i know i was wrong i guess im making up for it now i still have years to make up for it and more.
immaturity= being a ******* jerk.

 

[Bluey]

For being a dumb ass jerk

OK so I think you know you did wrong and I don't think you would ever do anything like that again. I think sometimes its as important to forgive your self as it is to forgive other ppl.

 

[Hijacc]

For being a dumb ass jerk

OK so I think you know you did wrong and I don't think you would ever do anything like that again. I think sometimes its as important to forgive your self as it is to forgive other ppl.

OUCH!

years ago bluey 5 0r 6th grade everyone were kind of
jerks back then I was 11 years old lol everyone said things they didnt mean at that age i just wanted to fit in and at my school thats
what you do to fit in i wasnt an ******* because i wanted to be but
now that i relize fitting in doesnt matter im not going to do it again ever i dont care about fitting in anyways im friends with most the kids i picked on then.

 

[Bluey]

For being a dumb ass jerk

OK so I think you know you did wrong and I don't think you would ever do anything like that again. I think sometimes its as important to forgive your self as it is to forgive other ppl.

OUCH!

years ago bluey 5 0r 6th grade everyone were kind of
jerks back then I was 11 years old lol everyone said things they didnt mean at that age i just wanted to fit in and at my school thats
what you do to fit in i wasnt an ******* because i wanted to be but
now that i relize fitting in doesnt matter im not going to do it again ever i dont care about fitting in anyways im friends with most the kids i picked on then.

Yea I kinder guessed that. Just what I said on the last page really. That when your young you just think of number one and don't see anything from anyone else's point of view. Guss the problem is some ppl never move on from being 11. most do and turn out as great as you and everyone here I would say. And sorry about the slap lol You know I was joking right?

 

[Hijacc]

For being a dumb ass jerk

OK so I think you know you did wrong and I don't think you would ever do anything like that again. I think sometimes its as important to forgive your self as it is to forgive other ppl.

OUCH!

years ago bluey 5 0r 6th grade everyone were kind of
jerks back then I was 11 years old lol everyone said things they didnt mean at that age i just wanted to fit in and at my school thats
what you do to fit in i wasnt an ******* because i wanted to be but
now that i relize fitting in doesnt matter im not going to do it again ever i dont care about fitting in anyways im friends with most the kids i picked on then.

Yea I kinder guessed that. Just what I said on the last page really. That when your young you just think of number one and don't see anything from anyone else's point of view. Guss the problem is some ppl never move on from being 11. most do and turn out as great as you and everyone here I would say. And sorry about the slap lol You know I was joking right?

Duh lol

 

[HiddenHydey]

Yea I kinder guessed that. Just what I said on the last page really. That when you're young you just think of number one and don't see anything from anyone else's point of view. Guess the problem is some ppl never move on from being 11. most do and turn out as great as you and everyone here I would say. And sorry about the slap lol You know I was joking right?

Interestingly, a lot of this is just brain chemistry. There are points in time during the development of the human brain where it our ability to empathise with others is virtually nil. During early adolescence the rate at which the brain is being restructured spikes massively, compromising our ability to give a damn about anyone other than ourselves (in many ways this stage in development there are a huge number of similarities with the "toddler" stage of development).

It's probably why school kids can be such dicks.

 

[Bluey]

It's probably why school kids can be such dicks.

lol So true.

There is no other ppl crueler then kids so maybe you have a very valid point there.

 

[Luna]

Everybody had problems at school. There are always one or two that are envy of you. The first time i was so small that i didnt know how to read or write. Maybe i was 5, i dont remember. The girl came with some other lil girls and started saying things, rude things. I dont remember what. I know i was avoiding the fight but i dont let anyone treat me bad and we were all in the "parquinho" (a place with sand and toys for kids play and distract themselves) so all i remember is that, while she was being rude at me, and when i lost the patience, i got sand and threw it at her face. Half went into her mouth, half into her eyes and she started crying like an idiot. And that was the first time my mom was called by the principal ^.^ Lol The principal, btw, said that she was doing that just cause the girls mother was a pain in the ... and so the girl and that she was always doing things like that but i was the first child reacting and to dont punish me ^.^ When i was 14 some girls used to hate me cause the principal that was my teacher too (fisica and quimica) used to like me (but he was 22 years old.. blaaaaaah!). They were all envy cause he used to pass with his motorcycle? (dunno the word) and invite just me to go with him and always me!!! And he used to go down stairs screaming my name (dont ask me why lol and it was when we all were having classes so the school was quiet and his voice could be heard really far). So yeah!!! they used to hate me! One of them made a draw of me, a pig, and told someone to give me it. I saw the draw, looked for her (she was almost hiden with her friends, lauging) so i went there and said: Next time, look at a mirror and draw a chicken (here, call a woman or girl of chicken is like sl*t, b*tch, etc) and i threw the paper at her face, infront of everybody. And then i complained with my damn handsome principal *.* and he warned them... lol Btw, when i was 17, i changed school to study with Helene (not the same i studied before) and he was one of the teachers. So when i told her my parents allowed me to change to her school, she waited his class and said: Andre, guess who is coming to study here? And he said: "Who?" And she said my name and he started smiling and said things like "no way?", "really?", "how old is she now?" etc... soooo after 3!!! years, a teacher that works in many schools with a bunch of new students every year and being the principal of one school, for him remember of me, after someone just say my name, i think those chickens were totally right in hating me :K
We all had idiot people into ourlives trying to destruct us. I used to be too smart to let them do that with me (i just got stupid after 25 lol).

 

[Lonely Heart]

I got bullied for all of my childhood, and not just for being gay either. Got verbally abused and beaten up virtually every day I went to school. 40% of that was from people who I thought were my friends as well. That's probably why I find it difficult to let my guard down and trust other people, and thus why I'm lonely.

 

[Bluey]

I got bullied for all of my childhood, and not just for being gay either. Got verbally abused and beaten up virtually every day I went to school. 40% of that was from people who I thought were my friends as well. That's probably why I find it difficult to let my guard down and trust other people, and thus why I'm lonely.

I think this one reason why ppl white tell they have left school be for they come out. At what age did you become open about being gay? I would say something like that at school would be like hell on earth for ppl to know something like that.

I would say they was not really a friend if they bullied you as well. Well some ppl bullied so they did not get bullied themselves, maybe that's why your friends did this to you as well. I would say in that way life gets better when you have left school. School can be the hardest time of your life. PPL that say its the best time of your life really make me laugh. I mean I would go back and do it all again but only if I know what I know now. Since that's imposable there would be no way I would like to re-live those years.