Saturday Night
I'm a bit late writing this one up, so I may have forgotten a few things. We went to the big outdoor, festival venue again. Great place for meeting people.
Talked to some girls together with my friend. Honestly, wondering whether doing these approaches together with him is doing me more harm than good at this point. Firstly, he talks to mostly women who I'm just not interested in. And then his style is just so different to mine, it doesn't really work. I suppose it's good just to be talking to people though.
Best thing I remember from the night was approaching the girl who I met out about a month ago and made out with her. She was sitting with her friend. I went over to approach, not 100% if it was her or not then realized it was as I got closer.
She remembered me and seemed happy to see me again. Talked with her and her friend for a while. She even complimented me on my approach last time we met. She said I caught her off guard and got her very intrigued.
Her and her friend were going off to another place. I texted her later that night but didn't get a reply until the next day. Told her I'd be leaving and moving to another city soon. I asked her if she'd be coming out for my last night in our city to say goodbye. She said of course! Not sure if she actually will but I hope she does because she's really hot haha.
I also remember approaching a girl on my own during the night. Who I quickly discovered had her boyfriend just behind her. Then I approached two women who looked good from a distance. When I got up close and talked to them, I realized they were a lot older than they looked from a distance lol.
Dates
I organised back to back dates for last night. First one was with a girl who I've seen a few times before already. We met on Okcupid but it kind of felt like we were hanging out as friends more than anything romantic the last two times we went out.
Which I was okay with. She's not really my type romantically, but she's nice to hang out with and I need some more female friends anyway. She actually messaged me later saying she felt like we were hanging out as friends too. She did say I am the type of guy she would like to date though.
I felt a little guilty because it seems like she feels more strongly about me than I realized and she was quite sad that I'm leaving and it would be our last time hanging out.
She is more of a shy and innocent type of girl. I remember the first date we went on she was extremely shy and uncomfortable. She was even afraid to hug me lol. But this time she was a lot more confident and opened up much more. I think I'm good at getting those type of girls to feel comfortable and open up more when they spend time with me. When I said goodbye to her, she gave me a big hug this time. Much different to the first date.
The second date was with the girl who I went out with last week and liked. Had a really good time with her again. We went to one of my favourite places in my city for desserts and drinks. It's perfect for dates. I took my ex there on our second date and have had several other dates there over the years.
I wanted one more date there before I leave. She's new to the city and had never been there, so it was cool to show it to her.
We stayed there for about 3 hours, which is a lot longer than I'd normally spend with a girl in one place. But the time flew by. The conversation just flowed really naturally during that 3 hours. Quite a contrast to the girl before, where it felt like I was often forcing the conversation.
I do like this girl quite a bit. She's the type of girl I'd be excited about introducing to my friends and family. It's a shame that I'll probably never see her again because I'm moving.
On our first date, I didn't even kiss her...Even though I wanted to. I guess I was overcome by my shyness. And I felt stupid for not doing so after.
This time she was wearing bright red lipstick, which was a real turn on lol. All night I was looking at her lips thinking I had to kiss her.
We went outside and talked a bit then said goodbye. I hugged her without kissing her then kept talking. Inside my mind I was thinking 'bender...you ******* idiot, you're probably never going to see her again...what are you doing??'
I said to her 'well in case I never see you again, I want to kiss you.' She smiled and said 'sure' and I kissed her. Probably wasn't my smoothest work ever but I definitely enjoyed the kiss.
I told her she would have to come and visit me in my new city so I could kiss her again. She said that would be a good reason to visit.
I'm still really awkward with saying goodbye at the end of a date haha.
.............................................
It's my last weekend going out in my city before I move. I'm a little sad to be leaving it all behind but trying not to think about it that way to much.
This is the busiest weekend of the year in my city so it should be a good time to make the most of it before I leave. I want Saturday night to be a great night to remember. I'll be saying goodbye to some friends but also need to talk to lots of girls before I go! Making the commitment, right here to do plenty of approaches Saturday night.
.................
I was just thinking about my last day in my current job at the gym, which will be next Tuesday. I thought to myself I should try to put in extra effort to make it a special session for all the members who are there that day.
But then it made me think well why didn't I put in that extra effort every day I went to work? Don't get me wrong...I have been a good reliable employee at that job and I've helped a lot of people there. But I could've given more.
It's the same with business and every night I go out. I'm not giving it 100% effort.
In my business, I could've made more calls...organized more sales appointments...done more for my clients. But there's times where I get lazy, lose focus and want to just do what's comfortable. I wonder where my business would be if I had put in more effort...how many clients I'd have, how much money I'd be making?
And with these nights I write about in this journal.. I'm certainly not operating at 100%. Every night I could've approached more girls...taken more risks...asked for more numbers. But fear and desire for comfort stop me from putting in that extra effort.
I don't know if some of these journals sound impressive to people reading them. I guess it is impressive in a way, considering how shy and hopeless with the opposite sex I once was.
But it could be so much more impressive if I put in the extra effort. I could have incredible stories to tell from my nights out.
I recently read the book Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins, a former navy seal. Great story. He's someone who would always go way beyond everyone else in terms of the effort he put into his training. And he had a lot of successes because he was willing to do so. (Although he is an extreme case...it's probably not advisable to go to the same lengths he did - I think there is a place taking your foot off the pedal and seeking comfort at times)
One of the things he talked about in the book was 'the 40% rule.' He said that when most people think they have reached their limits, they're only going at 40% of what they're capable of.
In reality, most people probably don't even reach 40%. And then those people will blame other people and external circumstances for not getting what they want, instead of putting in the extra effort. I'm probably operating at less than 30% during my nights out and maybe even in my business. But one of my biggest strengths is that I usually take full responsibility for where I'm at. I'll rarely blame others for me not having exactly what I want. I know that if I want to achieve more, I need to put in the extra effort.
I wonder how different my life would look if I was at even 70-80% in both my work life and social life.
Maybe this move will be a turning point in my life. I'm going to be throwing all the comforts of my own home and hometown out the window. And I'm hoping that will make me less attached to my comfort zone and more willing to put in the extra effort, even when it's not comfortable. Only time will tell...
Huge missed opportunity.
