Ak5
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Firebird has once again done it!
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
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L
Lonely in BC
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How's that go again.....? Oh ya, just remembered-
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance then baffle them with ********.
Just sayin
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance then baffle them with ********.
Just sayin
firebird85
Well-known member
No, not rants. Once again, not emotions. Just truth. Pure truth.
Back on topic...
I'm 21 & single and have never been in a romantic relationship. Do I like being single? While it has it's perks, like not having spend money on anyone else or spending a lot more time to myself, right now I do want to have a girlfriend. The problems that are keeping from doing so is my low-self esteem/confidence and my anxiety. While there are guys who don't care what others think and say what they feel, I'm the type of guy who has to think(or over-think) of what to say and worry that I might make an ass out of my side. I need to either coach myself or someone to push me into doing something.
I'm 21 & single and have never been in a romantic relationship. Do I like being single? While it has it's perks, like not having spend money on anyone else or spending a lot more time to myself, right now I do want to have a girlfriend. The problems that are keeping from doing so is my low-self esteem/confidence and my anxiety. While there are guys who don't care what others think and say what they feel, I'm the type of guy who has to think(or over-think) of what to say and worry that I might make an ass out of my side. I need to either coach myself or someone to push me into doing something.
A
Arsenic Queen
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love is complicated...
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Arsenic Queen
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Antihero said:
that's sad...
TheSolitaryMan
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firebird85 said:
How is it truth? It's a couple of articles by opinionated people talking biased, unsubstantiated bollocks
If "truth" was that easy to acquire, I'm fairly sure I would have won Nobel Prizes in every field of science by now...
firebird85
Well-known member
So can you think of a well thought response? No you can't. So, why are you in denial? Why deny something that is staring you in the face? Or are you still in the frame of mind that women are "allowed" to view men the way they do. Women don't want a loser? What about all the loser women? Who snort drugs, sell their body and probably live off some kind of government handout program here in the states. They don't have a problem finding a man. The dating scene is rife with imbalance, and ***** whipped men who will take anything perpetuate the problem. They aren't the source of the problem though. It is women. When you examine the gender roles and use a disabled man of course it's going to be harsh and unfair. Life is what we only make and percieve it to be. Life can be fair for everyone if we want it to be.
I have no problem calling out women who use shallow lists towards potential male partners. Especially financial stability. I believe they need to be demonized for it, so they know what they are doing is wrong. Like I told you before in another thread, how can you expect something from someone else, when (in most cases when it comes to women and their ridiculousness) you don't have it yourself. That tells you alot about someone.
Why deny it when it's staring you right in the face?
I have no problem calling out women who use shallow lists towards potential male partners. Especially financial stability. I believe they need to be demonized for it, so they know what they are doing is wrong. Like I told you before in another thread, how can you expect something from someone else, when (in most cases when it comes to women and their ridiculousness) you don't have it yourself. That tells you alot about someone.
Why deny it when it's staring you right in the face?
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Lonely in BC
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I think you'd be doing us all a HUGE service by writing all of your encouraging thoughts down on paper and getting it published. Not only would we have the voice of authority regarding dating and relationships available for us to study and apply but you would make millions doing it. Total win-win scenario for all of us.firebird85 said:
PLEASE don't give your incredible advice away in snippets here and there, do put it in an easy to read, readily available format for us- I, for one, would be so very appreciative of this.
One would suspect that a task of this magnitude will keep you extremely busy so I guess we won't be hearing much from you for awhile......bummer!
We're pulling for you- and anxiously awaiting
Lost Drifter
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A
Arsenic Queen
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Lonely in BC said:I think you'd be doing us all a HUGE service by writing all of your encouraging thoughts down on paper and getting it published. Not only would we have the voice of authority regarding dating and relationships available for us to study and apply but you would make millions doing it. Total win-win scenario for all of us.firebird85 said:
PLEASE don't give your incredible advice away in snippets here and there, do put it in an easy to read, readily available format for us- I, for one, would be so very appreciative of this.
One would suspect that a task of this magnitude will keep you extremely busy so I guess we won't be hearing much from you for awhile......bummer!
We're pulling for you- and anxiously awaiting
lmao!
TheSolitaryMan
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firebird85 said:
Okay, let me put it like this: would you go out with a woman that weighed 1000 lbs? Would you have sex with her? Marry her?
I know I certainly wouldn't.
Anyone with that kind of problem likely has serious mental problems to get into that state.
The fact that one woman in the entire world who was that sort of weight got married twice proves exactly what? Nothing.
There was even a link to a similar guy that size getting married, which I notice you ignored...
Why is it shallow to want financial stability in a guy? I would like financial stability in a girl - it's not top of my list, but a smart girl who could hold a decent means of income means that if I ever got sick or hurt or something, my future family would still be provided for.
That's just common sense. If it came down to it and I loved a woman for being a wonderful, kind, beautiful person, would I mind if she wasn't great financially? Of course not.
Most girls feel the same way about guys.
You say women ignore you and don't really even talk to you - so why do you feel so strongly that you understand exactly how they work? Because you read the bile of some bitter crackpots spouting junk in these articles?
By contrast, I find just being open, honest and y'know, talking to girls yields a far more positive and real view of how they think and feel. And the great majority of girls are decent people with none of these supposed biases towards partners.
firebird85
Well-known member
It's wrong because not everybody can live up to it. Not every guy can. Some of us guys work crappy jobs, live off dead parents savings, or live off the government system. Being a "good honest person" doesn't stop the females from using the finances/bad boy "exciting" personality/blue eyes/double standard gender roles stuff against you.
Some guys can meet some expectations the female gender has, some can't. Every female on earth requires looks and financial stability. But you say "offer something else". Well women won't accept that. With women, it is all or nothing. For real.
Self improving yourself to find a girlfriend can only go so far, because again, if no woman on this whole planet wants to accept you for who you are to begin with, then you are just wasting your time.
That reminds me of myself. For me, the door was always closed, even before I could attempt to open it.
What's wrong with 2 people coming together, accepting who they are, and what they have? To you, there is.
Some guys can meet some expectations the female gender has, some can't. Every female on earth requires looks and financial stability. But you say "offer something else". Well women won't accept that. With women, it is all or nothing. For real.
Self improving yourself to find a girlfriend can only go so far, because again, if no woman on this whole planet wants to accept you for who you are to begin with, then you are just wasting your time.
That reminds me of myself. For me, the door was always closed, even before I could attempt to open it.
What's wrong with 2 people coming together, accepting who they are, and what they have? To you, there is.
Single, since many years.
Since about a year, I'm in love with one of my friends; she is not interested. She's been single for a while, dated some other guys, she knew I was interested but never wanted to be more than friends with me. She's always super nice with me, sexy, beautiful; she told me several times we couldn't date as she does not feel strong feelings of love for me, but that she appreciates our friendship a lot. I keep feeling jealous of all her male friends and sometimes I try and stir trouble with them. I don't feel really good about it but sometimes I can't help it. They make me sick. I don't understand why she lets them flirt with her and get close, and not me. I'd like to have my chance, but it doesn't seem possible. Or either, I'd like to be a true "just friends" person to her, so to not lose her, but I can't help my feelings of love and desire when I am around her, and I react a lot whenever she seems interested in another guy. I am not sure what to do.
Since about a year, I'm in love with one of my friends; she is not interested. She's been single for a while, dated some other guys, she knew I was interested but never wanted to be more than friends with me. She's always super nice with me, sexy, beautiful; she told me several times we couldn't date as she does not feel strong feelings of love for me, but that she appreciates our friendship a lot. I keep feeling jealous of all her male friends and sometimes I try and stir trouble with them. I don't feel really good about it but sometimes I can't help it. They make me sick. I don't understand why she lets them flirt with her and get close, and not me. I'd like to have my chance, but it doesn't seem possible. Or either, I'd like to be a true "just friends" person to her, so to not lose her, but I can't help my feelings of love and desire when I am around her, and I react a lot whenever she seems interested in another guy. I am not sure what to do.
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Lonely in BC
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OMG firebird, you look way to young to have such an incredibly ****** defeatist attitude. Your all-encompassing stereotype of the female gender isn't going to do you a damn bit of good relationship wise, the "vibe" you give off is what would chase the ladies away.
As far as your comments go regarding self improvement there is always room for that whether it's for ourselves or to catch the attention of someone for a possible relationship. If there was no need for self improvement mankind wouldn't have bothered to come out of the dark ages- change is inevitable, why fight it?
Not every female is as judgemental or selective as you make them out to be. I don't really consider myself an amazing catch beyond the qualities of being kind, faithful, hardworking, and honest. I'm really no looker, I'm pretty quiet conversation wise until you get to know me, and I have no mass accumulation of wealth- despite that I've managed to have relationships that weren't shallow. It saddens me that they don't always last as people change and sometimes grow apart instead of together but I don't regret those relationships.
It's really to bad you consider the door is always closed- seems to me that you haven't put any serious effort into opening it.
As far as your comments go regarding self improvement there is always room for that whether it's for ourselves or to catch the attention of someone for a possible relationship. If there was no need for self improvement mankind wouldn't have bothered to come out of the dark ages- change is inevitable, why fight it?
Not every female is as judgemental or selective as you make them out to be. I don't really consider myself an amazing catch beyond the qualities of being kind, faithful, hardworking, and honest. I'm really no looker, I'm pretty quiet conversation wise until you get to know me, and I have no mass accumulation of wealth- despite that I've managed to have relationships that weren't shallow. It saddens me that they don't always last as people change and sometimes grow apart instead of together but I don't regret those relationships.
It's really to bad you consider the door is always closed- seems to me that you haven't put any serious effort into opening it.
Lost Drifter
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Lonely in BC said:
Coffee at my place?
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Lonely in BC
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Lost Drifter said:Lonely in BC said:
Coffee at my place?
Hot and black- no underwear collection chat please (especially if Sci-Fi drops by).
A
Arsenic Queen
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You sound very much like one of my friends, Pierce57. Why don't you simply look around and try to find someone who'll be romantically interested in you? You made this one friend, you can probably make more.
TheSolitaryMan
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firebird85 said:
Any man who works hard will be attractive to at least a woman. By hard I mean "Tries his best to hold down a responsible job" not "Is a multi-billionaire".
By financial stability, I'm talking basic adult responsibilities such as not gambling all your money away like a **** or being lazy and not bothering to get a job.
Back the fun bus up a moment, "expectations the female gender has"? That has to be the most ludicrously overblown statement I've read for a long time.
You're 20-something, correct? Explain to me how you know the expectations of three billion plus human females, please?
It is not "all or nothing", that's a load of crap. Women go out with guys for all sorts of reasons and vice versa. Some women just want sex out of a guy, some guys just want sex out of women.
Some want money, some want romance and a genuine relationship/love.
People are people, there are no blanket all-encompassing expectations in a relationship and to argue that 50% of humans on the planet only want X, Y and/or Z is ridiculous.
********. The door is only closed to you at present because you're wallowing in this petulant self-pity.
I used to be largely overweight years ago and girls still talked to me, liked me and even flirted with me. Since then I have lost just over 4 stone in weight and put on a bunch of muscles and it's had an obvious effect on the attention I receive every now and then.
You can always improve yourself and you can always change your attitude. The latter is your problem, not three billion women on the planet rejecting you at birth.
Can you see how completely illogical it sounds when you say that? I hope so.
Proof that you don't actually read my posts it would seem
Where did I say anything like this? I actually said the complete opposite. I said that I would like financial stability in a girl, but, to quote myself:
TheSolitaryMan said:
I said it would not be important in the net sum of things.
Other posters are right, your view is cynical, jaded, bitter and completely unrealistic, especially for your age.
I think you'd have a lot more success finding a girlfriend (and a decent one at that) if you got out there and started trying to befriend girls rather than going on and on about how they have something wrong with them because they don't immediately throw their pants at you when you walk past.
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