Boyfriends, girlfriends & single life

[Arsenic Queen]

Any man who works hard will be attractive to at least a woman. By hard I mean "Tries his best to hold down a responsible job" not "Is a multi-billionaire".
[...]
You can always improve yourself and you can always change your attitude.

I totally agree with this.

Since then I have lost just over 4 stone in weight and put on a bunch of muscles and it's had an obvious effect on the attention I receive every now and then.

TSM, do you think this comes from your different appearance or do you think it might have to do with your appearance's impact on your self-confidence? I tend to think "ugly" men confident despite their appearance have alot more charisma and are way more attractive than a lot of "handsome" awkward ones.

 

[kamya]

I think it is probably a mixture of both, but I think a lot of it does just come from a different appearance. There was a massive thread about this on the bodybuilding.com forums but I can't seem to find it. This will have to do. I think she does a pretty good job of answering the question.

 

[firebird85]

Lonely In BC -

I am 21. The reason I say the door has always been closed even before attempting to open it, and when I say this I mean trying to befriend girls and find one that likes me, well I've never had the opportunity. I am actually glad I am aware of how females are. If I was clueless right now I'd just be the same way I am now, never having a date/relationship before and never having any girls as friends, but I'd probably be pulling my hair out not knowing why. I know I don't exist to girls because if I did, don't you think I would have had some as friends in the past. I never had any. No girls have ever befriended me. Ever. When I was younger I was always seen as the unpopular kid. Girls never talked to me or even acknowledged me my friend. For someone like me, that makes me wonder. But it doesn't end. It keeps going. Once again, always has. If it wasn't all or nothing for them, surely they would be more accepting if a guy has some flaws or 2 wouldn't they? After all, nobody's perfect. I've got along with women in professional levels, in work environments, but never more. That hurts me. Knowing that you have no experience with girls, hurts bad. I even use dating sites sometimes, but it still doesn't change a thing. I still have my no-experience past, and it's still continuing. Imagine if you were like me, always invisible to girls, and every day you are alive nothing changes. That's what I hate, is being in the perpetual state of stuck, with no way out now, or in the future. I've told people about this stuff in the past, I mean just telling someone you've never had a girlfriend is enough to make their stomachs turn. They can't believe it.

It hurts the most of all, as a guy, living a life where you've never had any kind of female attention. It's even more bad when you have no way out of it.

Heck, now that I look back, not having any friends or a social life since age 15, I don't even exist to people period. Nobody notices me at all. And it hurts me. It hurts to have this hanging on my shoulders.

Sometimes when I'm lying in my bed at night and it's 2am, I'll sit there wondering why my life is like this. Sometimes I even cry. I'm only a human being, who wants some social interaction and a network of friendships.

Look at this guy, 40 years old and never had a girlfriend. This is what happens when you are stuck with no way out. Makes your head spin.

Then you have women who are considered "equal" to you, and they reject and won't accept a guy either. It's really a roller coaster of disaster, regret, and sadness.

[video=youtube]

 

[Lonely in BC]

Lonely In BC -

I am 21. The reason I say the door has always been closed even before attempting to open it, and when I say this I mean trying to befriend girls and find one that likes me, well I've never had the opportunity. I am actually glad I am aware of how females are. If I was clueless right now I'd just be the same way I am now, never having a date/relationship before and never having any girls as friends, but I'd probably be pulling my hair out not knowing why. I know I don't exist to girls because if I did, don't you think I would have had some as friends in the past. I never had any. No girls have ever befriended me. Ever. When I was younger I was always seen as the unpopular kid. Girls never talked to me or even acknowledged me my friend. For someone like me, that makes me wonder. But it doesn't end. It keeps going. Once again, always has. If it wasn't all or nothing for them, surely they would be more accepting if a guy has some flaws or 2 wouldn't they? After all, nobody's perfect. I've got along with women in professional levels, in work environments, but never more. That hurts me. Knowing that you have no experience with girls, hurts bad. I even use dating sites sometimes, but it still doesn't change a thing. I still have my no-experience past, and it's still continuing. Imagine if you were like me, always invisible to girls, and every day you are alive nothing changes. That's what I hate, is being in the perpetual state of stuck, with no way out now, or in the future. I've told people about this stuff in the past, I mean just telling someone you've never had a girlfriend is enough to make their stomachs turn. They can't believe it.

It hurts the most of all, as a guy, living a life where you've never had any kind of female attention. It's even more bad when you have no way out of it.

Heck, now that I look back, not having any friends or a social life since age 15, I don't even exist to people period. Nobody notices me at all. And it hurts me. It hurts to have this hanging on my shoulders.

Sometimes when I'm lying in my bed at night and it's 2am, I'll sit there wondering why my life is like this. Sometimes I even cry. I'm only a human being, who wants some social interaction and a network of friendships.

Look at this guy, 40 years old and never had a girlfriend. This is what happens when you are stuck with no way out. Makes your head spin.

Then you have women who are considered "equal" to you, and they reject and won't accept a guy either. It's really a roller coaster of disaster, regret, and sadness.

[video=youtube]

Firebird, buddy- c'mon, pull your head out of the oven pal.

I was the short fat kid who got chased home from school pretty much every day after school. I experienced the sneers, the put downs, and the constant fear as a child, youth, and teenager- I just chose not to let it define me as I got older. Girls had no interest in me- so don't give me no self-pity friend. I saw the picture you posted, there is nothing wrong with the way you look so it must have something to do with your attitude or the way you present yourself. I stand by my earlier suggestion that you must give off a vibe girls pick up due to the way you view them.
Anyone who "wouldn't believe you haven't had a girlfriend by the age of 21" obviously isn't that deep of a thinker- so what? Who are they to judge? You seem to be more focused on the opinions of other people rather than your own- personally I think it's pretty dam cool that a guy who has your looks isn't out there being a sleaze.

The You-Tube clip you posted does nothing to support your opinion either, it's not a study or any defendable research. It's a monologue by someone who's voice and words don't really capture my attention. ****, if you're going to be that susceptible I'll be happy to post something that will have you sending me every penny you make for the rest of your life.

Firebird, open your mind- the other gender has some very interesting, kind, accepting people- maybe you need to expand your horizons.

I kid you not, when your finally able to open that door you're going to look back and say "what was the problem"? Believe it or not, I'm really hoping the best for you.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Since then I have lost just over 4 stone in weight and put on a bunch of muscles and it's had an obvious effect on the attention I receive every now and then.

TSM, do you think this comes from your different appearance or do you think it might have to do with your appearance's impact on your self-confidence? I tend to think "ugly" men confident despite their appearance have alot more charisma and are way more attractive than a lot of "handsome" awkward ones.

I think it's a bit of both, definitely. My confidence is a funny thing. At times it can be quite high when I'm feeling good about myself (and the exercise has really, really helped that), at others I don't have any! :shy:

But girls do seem to appreciate work a guy does physically. I'm not the Hulk or anything like that, but working out has made girls more inclined to be cuddly and playful with me it would seem, without me having to say much to prompt that.

So there are aspects of each that have changed the way I'm perceived.

I guess I was trying to communicate that girls can appreciate a guy's personality over his physique (from when I was overweight), but at the same time improving your physical appearance is always a positive thing to do

 

[VanillaCreme]

Firebird, buddy- c'mon, pull your head out of the oven pal.

I was the short fat kid who got chased home from school pretty much every day after school. I experienced the sneers, the put downs, and the constant fear as a child, youth, and teenager- I just chose not to let it define me as I got older. Girls had no interest in me- so don't give me no self-pity friend. I saw the picture you posted, there is nothing wrong with the way you look so it must have something to do with your attitude or the way you present yourself. I stand by my earlier suggestion that you must give off a vibe girls pick up due to the way you view them.
Anyone who "wouldn't believe you haven't had a girlfriend by the age of 21" obviously isn't that deep of a thinker- so what? Who are they to judge? You seem to be more focused on the opinions of other people rather than your own- personally I think it's pretty dam cool that a guy who has your looks isn't out there being a sleaze.

The You-Tube clip you posted does nothing to support your opinion either, it's not a study or any defendable research. It's a monologue by someone who's voice and words don't really capture my attention. ****, if you're going to be that susceptible I'll be happy to post something that will have you sending me every penny you make for the rest of your life.

Firebird, open your mind- the other gender has some very interesting, kind, accepting people- maybe you need to expand your horizons.

I kid you not, when your finally able to open that door you're going to look back and say "what was the problem"? Believe it or not, I'm really hoping the best for you.

QFT. I believe a lot of other people on this forum could benefit from this as well. I think too many people are too used to seeing their door shut, so that's all they know. If they opened their mind to any possibilities, much less the awesome possibilities, they wouldn't believe how many incredible people there are who will accept them regardless and in spite of any flaws they have.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

TSM, I have to admit fitness is indeed sexy, and when one feels sexy they gain more self-confidence, feel more satisfied of their self-image, will tend to smile more and be less held back in their interactions with the opposite sex. That, and the fact that fitness itself can be attractive. When all your moves and physical efforts are easier, and your hips have a nice flexibility to them, I bet girls can see it. The same way men can appreciate women with nice curves and flat tummy (can't wait for the day I'll finally get it flat again, sigh)

 

[Drama]

I’m the captain of my own ship and I’ll see where it takes me.

Not as much eye-liner though :shy:

lol I like this

 

[Arsenic Queen]

I’m the captain of my own ship and I’ll see where it takes me.

http://www.proprofs.com/games/puzzle/sliding/upload/354626_1279392935.jpg

Not as much eye-liner though :shy:

lol I like this

Yes, he's truly awesome.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

TSM, I have to admit fitness is indeed sexy, and when one feels sexy they gain more self-confidence, feel more satisfied of their self-image, will tend to smile more and be less held back in their interactions with the opposite sex. That, and the fact that fitness itself can be attractive. When all your moves and physical efforts are easier, and your hips have a nice flexibility to them, I bet girls can see it. The same way men can appreciate women with nice curves and flat tummy (can't wait for the day I'll finally get it flat again, sigh)

Oh, tell me about the flat stomach irritation! Sigh indeed.

It's doesn't seem to be visible when I'm clothed as normal, but I have this annoying flab right at the bottom of my stomach that is sitting there smug in the knowledge that it's ruining my dream physique!

Can't wait until my work eases off a bit and I can start cycling properly again to get rid of it

But thank you for the encouragement, I appreciate it ^^

 

[jjam]

If my posture is good, then my tummy looks good. But if I slouch, then it becomes evident that men too can have babies!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im skinny, i weihht a buck and a quarter
I can build my abs from having sex
My body in not too well toned at the moment
But i stiill look good. I can walk around
Without a shirt all day long.

---

I wear size 28 men.lmao
Have to go in the kiddies department.

Im 5'6"....my fiancee is taller than me.
She looks like the amazon women with
Her high heels on stanfing next to me.hahahaa

---

I get the chicks because Im a bad ass
Guitar player with an attitude problem.lmao

---

I stroll or strut my **** around like
I don't give a ****..

---

I AM THAT EVIL STEP CHILD...
My step fsther hates my mother fucken guts.lmao

---

I dont have problems getting chicks.
Im a badboy not because its an act.
I grew up in a dysfunctional home...

I have relationships pronlems.
I was abandent as a child. I bave abandentment issues.
My step father was abusive towards me.
Plus kids picked on me....hence Im a little bit rough
on the edges. The badboy...

 

[Arsenic Queen]

I'm a freaking architecture of glass. There's always something or someone to smash it for me. I don't even know what happened or what I'll get accused of. Thrown off with no chance to clarify or explain, again. History is repeating and this is what I feared the most.

 

[Legato]

I hate the single life.

I used to love it for the lack of stress. Not needing to worry about someone, not needing to be at a certain place at a certain time. But now I see things differently.

It's as clear on this website as anywhere else. Posters will play on others. Pretend they like them, form a relationship before smashing your feelings apart. Then moving onto the other.

Same thing happens in real life. This puts me in a position in not trusting anyone anymore.

And if you can't trust people off a website like this...who can you trust?

 

[Antihero]

I hate the single life.

I used to love it for the lack of stress. Not needing to worry about someone, not needing to be at a certain place at a certain time. But now I see things differently.

It's as clear on this website as anywhere else. Posters will play on others. Pretend they like them, form a relationship before smashing your feelings apart. Then moving onto the other.

Same thing happens in real life. This puts me in a position in not trusting anyone anymore.

And if you can't trust people off a website like this...who can you trust?

I really have nothing to say other than I agree. It is really hard not to be cynical sometimes.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I will make this VERY clear to anyone this may apply to.

Personal issues between forum members will NOT be discussed anywhere on this forum but in PM. If you would like to make a complaint, please send the complaint to a moderator via PM. Do not use threads/posts to air personal issues. Even if you don't use names, generally people either already know or can figure out who you're talking about. I cannot stress this enough - bans have resulted from this kind of thing.

 

[Romeo Echo]

I hate the single life.

I used to love it for the lack of stress. Not needing to worry about someone, not needing to be at a certain place at a certain time. But now I see things differently.

Completely agree, my view on the single life changes with the turns of my mood. One day being single is like being able to ghost around a host of others who are tied up with commitment after commitment, other days its like being cut away from emotion itself.

I'm a freaking architecture of glass. There's always something or someone to smash it for me. I don't even know what happened or what I'll get accused of. Thrown off with no chance to clarify or explain, again. History is repeating and this is what I feared the most.

Very eloquently put.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I just read all of this thread, instead of just skimming, and it makes me sad. Because, women do NOT have it easier. I was never guaranteed nor promised a relationship. Neither gender has it easier over the other, however, people with attitudes that aren't filled with horseshit do tend to have it a tittle bit easier.

 

[Antihero]

I agree. It is just hard for a decent human being to find another decent human to take part in their lives.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree to that as well, Antihero. But I think some people just refuse to believe that everyone's not perfect. And they expect too much from people, instead of just accepting who people are. It is hard to find someone decent that you get along with, but it is possible.