Do You Have Disdain For Addicts?

[HellsLittleAngel]

I am a high functioning alcoholic.

Why do you say kind of then? I've never heard of someone saying "kind of". Is it because it's hard for you to admit that you're an alcoholic? Some people have a hard time admitting.

 

[Unsigned]

Why do you say kind of then? I've never heard of someone saying "kind of". Is it because it's hard for you to admit that you're an alcoholic? Some people have a hard time admitting.

I guess.
I suppose because I go to work and even can still be productive, exercise, keep good hygiene, pay my bills, plan for retirement, etc.. I have a concept that my issues are not that bad.

But I could be a lot more if I did not have my issues.

But then again...it seems to be a way for me to self medicate.

And it may be better than any alternative -- no way I would take anti-depressants or other psych drugs. Just no way.

So...I dunno..."kind of an alkie" just sort of seems like a good description for me...by me...

I'm 4 Old Crows in right now, btw...

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I guess.
I suppose because I go to work and even can still be productive, exercise, keep good hygiene, pay my bills, plan for retirement, etc.. I have a concept that my issues are not that bad.

But I could be a lot more if I did not have my issues.

But then again...it seems to be a way for me to self medicate.

And it may be better than any alternative -- no way I would take anti-depressants or other psych drugs. Just no way.

So...I dunno..."kind of an alkie" just sort of seems like a good description for me...by me...

I'm 4 Old Crows in right now, btw...

Regardless of how well kept and functioning you are, you're still an active alcoholic. I get what you mean though. Never heard of 4 old crows in. Is that symbolic for something? It's good that you don't use other drugs in place of things. But, everyone has a vice in life.

 

[Unsigned]

Regardless of how well kept and functioning you are, you're still an active alcoholic. I get what you mean though. Never heard of 4 old crows in. Is that symbolic for something? It's good that you don't use other drugs in place of things. But, everyone has a vice in life.

My drink of choice.
For a very long time.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

My drink of choice.
For a very long time.

View attachment 9900

Oh, sorry, I was clueless, lol. I've never heard of it. I enjoy a glass of wine!

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Hi!

I think that this thread is an important one. In my experience, I've noticed that people who have never been addicted to something seem to have all the answers to help the addicted. "Get a job", "Spend your money on something else", "Do things to keep your mind off of it". As noble as all these suggestions are, if they aren't coming from someone who has never been addicted to something, you may as well talk to the wall. Addicts very rarely listen to those who haven't been where they're at. Living with addicts isn't enough to truly understand the torture of actually being one.

I'm not without sympathy for the families who are in pain because their loved ones are dying right in front of them. The addict steals their family's possessions to get their fix and tearing their family apart. I understand that. I'm not proud of it, but to buy my liquor one time I stole a little north of $2000 worth of my mother's jewelry, so yes, I can understand that the ones close to you while they love you, get extremely pissed off and hurt.

What so many misunderstand, is that nobody wakes up one morning and decides they're going to take up drug and alcohol abuse as a lifestyle.
It's hard to have sympathy for an addict when you have never experienced it personally. Nobody likes being an addict, but it just consumes you and you can't beat on your own. That's the whole essence
of being an addict. If they could help themselves, they wouldn't be one.

However, if an addict finally realizes he or she needs help and doesn't take it, will receive no pity from me whatsoever. When you are an addict, people who love you and care about you will try their best to help, but because of your current mental sickness, you perceive it as an attack not a loving act of compassion.

I know this is a long thread readers, but I could author a book on this subject from my own life's experience, not read it in some GD textbook in a classroom that today's mental health "Professionals" used to attend.
I guess what I'm trying to get across to everyone is to please try and have more compassion for these truly ill people. You are not dealing with a bad person, you are dealing with a chemical.

The Short Version
​

Addiction... Addict is one of those funny words, like witch. It's a null pointer to a pointer, that points to something that is often not easy to comprehend, and often overlooked. From Buddhism, for example, we have the concept of attachment; which I think is a lot more clear in it's meaning (no need for the religious traditions here, this is pure philosophy). However still, our attachments, the things we cling to, are often as illusive, as the reasons why. And the why, I think, is the important thing. I don't believe, at my best, I have any disdain for anyone who chooses to use a mind altering substance. I think it best to judge by character, and perhaps also be observant of the circumstances, surrounding it..

The Long Version​

In summary, this is a plea for compassion, because the so called, 'addict,' has no control, and is powerless; people who haven't, 'been there,' just don't understand.

The real problem is that addiction is a funny word. I will try to elucidate what I mean.

Addiction, powerlessness, etc.. It's a myth. It's a misunderstanding. What most people do in this society, not just concerning drugs, is blame the symptoms, and remain ignorant of the root cause. Sometimes this is done willfully, because there is something to gain. Much of the time it's done in ignorance. Sometimes the root cause is ignored, because, there is just no means to address it. Sometimes people just don't understand.

We have to break this post down further, however, because there is only one real problem in it. A drug habit is fine, there is nothing wrong with it, in of itself. Many people, habitually drink tea, sometimes quite heavily caffeinated. Many people habitually consume spirits: beer, wine, even distilled spirits. Likewise there are those with cannabis habits. There are those who have enriched their lives, with psychedelics: some people have even been treated with psychedelics to help them tame a bad alcohol habit. And that's the crux I'm getting at: a bad habit, vs. a good habit.

The OP in the above post, for example, confesses an act of somewhat substantial theft of personal property from their mother. @LoneKiller... lol, that's horrible! You stole from your mom to buy booze! For shame! Naughty you! But to get serious again: boozing, even heavy boozing, if done responsibly, is fine. Stealing from your mom, is a different thing, however. You were a thief, not a mythical, so called, 'addict.'

And that brings us back to the habit of let's say, alcohol, in this case. So what's the, 'real,' problem? Why can some people live a happy, well-adjusted life, and have an alcohol habit, while others can not?

That's the real question, and it's personal for everyone.

I personally believe, that, a lot of people born into this world, were born, 'on accident.' To varying degrees, they were not so much, 'wanted,' as much as they were, 'tolerated,' to greater or lesser degrees. So, I think a lot of people in this world, have an ever pervasive feeling as though, 'something is not right.' They live with a perpetual void inside of them, because they weren't born into an environment that was ready and waiting to welcome them into the world. Their coming into the world, wasn't a source of joy for everyone, and they weren't happily greeted with knowing and loving arms, that couldn't wait to show them the world.

Now, that's a theory. I think it's a sound one, and explains quite a bit in this world. However, it's not really something, many people will be able to address in their life, much less even be conscious of. How do you get the love, you were never born into? How do you get that parental pride, and pure joy and happiness, and rejoicing in your existence: your successes and your failures? It's likely your parents may have struggled with the same issue, and they simply passed it on to you.

So, that's a bigger question.

The word addiction, and what it points to, is a false notion. It's blaming the bumps on your skin for your chicken pox. When the bumps are the symptom, and the root cause, is a virus: a small thing, that took science many years to discover, of which, most of humanities history could not explain.

Some people choose to self destruct with drugs, because they are hurting. Others simply may be greedy, and didn't learn enough about delayed gratification, discipline, self-control, etc.: as some people spend money like it's going to rot, while others people save it well (perhaps too well, sometimes, a problem on the other side of the coin). Some people are simply seeking some much needed attention they missed out on, and are acting out. The list could go on...

There's numerous reasons why some one may acquire a bad drug habit. And they may not even have a habit, just a self-destructive habit, that happens to use a drug as the instrument of self destruction at a particular time.

Thievery is forgivable. Objects are objects, and a debt can often be repaid in this regard.

But the alcohol use, in this case, seems to sit at the top of the symptom list, or just below another symptom, thievery. What's below that? What's the root cause? That's what many of us, in this world, will struggle to be able to address, because this world just won't stop: it keeps churning and churning, and love, is not something that can be manufactured, sold, and profited from.

Love has it's own way, it's own time, can't be forced or faked. Genuine love, I think, is probably a good theory and guess, as to what so many of us often lack.

To have compassion, and to nurture and cultivate genuine love... These are difficult things, I think, or at least seem to be, to me.

But what I can speak to, and have just spoken to, is how the ignorance of our misunderstandings often multiplies, and in the strangest ways. Alcohol prohibition, for example, was mostly a movement of the clergy and women (no doubt, the lot of them, having to put up with intolerable men, with intolerable behaviors, due to their habits (now were they themselves quite insufferable at times? (I digress))).

A call to compassion I can understand, to some degree. But, when it comes to addiction: I do understand. It's a funny, vague word. I can understand that feeling... of not belonging, of feeling incomplete, like there is something missing: that feeling that is pervasive. I can understand suffering (to some degree at least). I can understand feeling cut off, isolated, and being weak willed. The list could probably go on...

What I can't understand, so very often, is how this world manages to function at all, with all the falsehoods, people cling to and hold to be so true...

So, I suppose I don't have any disdain for addicts. From my understanding, there is no such thing as an addict. I have my disdains, and my flaws, thoughts. I think it best to judge a person by their character, be observant of circumstance, and hopefully act from a point of wisdom and understanding... Love and compassion..