Do you use other sites to meet people ?

[charlotte craig]

Im always thinking what other sites to meet people online are out there.

Ive joined to many (a lot) of mental health forums, just to meet people, but in all this forums most people dont want to chat, or are just a few who I dont get along.

Im always thinking "hmm, should be a site, more simple, more specific, that the main porpouse is to meet people that, you know, deal with loneliness, depression, etc", because forums, like this, arent just about meet people.

Mental health forums are 85% about people just venting, 7% about people using it for chit chat conversations, 7% for debating and 1% for people looking to actually talk and meet other people. And I think that 1% is just an error in the equation, maybe just a quarter of that 1% want to meet people.

Some tell me to use other kind of sites, but I want to meet people who "know how is this", this kind of problems, but... sometimes seems like just a fantasy. Like "what? Meet people online who also deal with depression and you get along with them ? Thats like win the lottery 3 times in 1 week! U are maniac if u think thats possible".

Why don't you set up such a site then? You are the one who is keen on joining up, you could set it up and then join it and see how it goes. But I CAN tell you now that it is a very costly and time consuming thing, you also need a very high skill set. AND you would probably not get any money coming in to cover any of the costs. That is why nobody else is doing it. A friendship site or dating site for a specific set never does well, it is too niche. You need to cast out your net far wider for it to survive. A site for those who do not work will not survive because they want it all for free. Leaving you very much out of pocket and no time left. It's very easy to say others should do it, but why dont' you do it instead?

 

[charlotte craig]

Hmm, it does seem like a lot of people are more reserved on this site. I wonder if it was always like this since I heard this site used to be quite busy back in the day.

I have met a couple of people on here but it always seemed like they weren't interested in the conversation or they seem interested and then dissappear after a bit.

Either that's on account of their reserved nature or I am just uninteresting

Think it is a chicken and egg situation. The reserved ones are the quiet and quite frankly boring ones with no input. But they are quick to complain when others are as slow to speak and as boring as them. If they are like this in real life it is hardly surprising they don't get people wanting to spend time with them unless those people are the same and simply making do with the only person available rather than choosing them over lessers. When people apply to me for a job the ones who end up being hired are those who write a long interesting email, not those who say hi, I cannot get a job and am short of cash please hire me. You have to be an interesting person first before interesting people want to interact with you.

I've not been here long this time but I've chatted to about six people in the past month who say they are bored to tears here because so few speak. They tend to simply cut their losses and run. Aceface has left and I knew he would. He is totally different to most here, but he he offered me his email address and we will be emailing each other. I've had maybe four others offer me their email address, but they had nothing in common with me so it was pointless.

 

[BDLonely]

I'm talking to foreign women on okcupid as friends. Americans don't want to talk to me.
I can't say the conversations I'm having are stimulating but at least these women messaged me first.

 

[user 148069]

The reserved ones are the quiet and quite frankly boring ones with no input.

still waters often run deep

 

[charlotte craig]

But people prefer someone exciting, articulate, charming, lively and chatty! That is why still waters end up alone or with other boring still waters.

 

[TheRealCallie]

But people prefer someone exciting, articulate, charming, lively and chatty! That is why still waters end up alone or with other boring still waters.

That may be true for people like you, but not for us lowly peasants who are completely beneath the likes of you.

 

[user 135671]

This gets more ridiculous everyday

 

[Sunless Sky]

I understand how people might be reserved and a bit awkward at first, I don't go into conversations expecting a connection right away. Especially if they aren't used to chatting in the first place but I have to say, after a while of talking and it becomes apparent I am more interested in the conversation than the other person, I do get a bit disheartened and demotivated to keep talking.

Its difficult to find someone that not only reciprocates your energy but also shares some of your interests. Its worth it in the end though.

 

[Unsigned]

I'm talking to foreign women on okcupid as friends. Americans don't want to talk to me.
I can't say the conversations I'm having are stimulating but at least these women messaged me first.

Venezuelans?
They "favorite" me on Seeking all the time... Gee, I wonder what they might want???

 

[TheSkaFish]

But people prefer someone exciting, articulate, charming, lively and chatty! That is why still waters end up alone or with other boring still waters.

What exactly does "exciting, articulate, charming, lively and chatty" mean to you?

And where is someone supposed to get the spare time and energy to do this though, when you have to work all day (usually doing something bland and utilitarian, and therefore doesn't give you exciting conversation material - I'm not going to "wow" any women talking about crunching numbers or spreadsheets), and then when you have to do all the mundane survival stuff like go shopping, cook, do laundry, clean the house, exercise, etc.?

And then to actually get knowledgeable and skilled enough at some interesting thing, to have something to talk about in the first place? Let alone come up with your own original ideas?

If you didn't do wild stuff, or get good at anything in your teens and 20s, I don't know when you're going to have the time.

For anyone, but as a guy especially, it's hard to have a normal job with a normal salary to pay for a normal quality of life, and also be some kind of rock star/adventurer all at the same time - without even getting into whatever interests you have just for your own curiosity or enjoyment.

I'm not trying to be confrontational or sarcastic here - this is a question I honestly think about all the time.

 

[BDLonely]

No Filipinas. If there’s a hint of a chance they are trying to scam me I unmatch and block.

 

[Unsigned]

No Filipinas. If there’s a hint of a chance they are trying to scam me I unmatch and block.

I get them on Seeking too.
But at last on Seeking we know up front what everyone is there for...

 

[TheSkaFish]

still waters often run deep

I know you meant this seriously, and I agree with you, but I kept hearing it in Snoop Dogg's voice

 

[CenotaphGirl]

What exactly does "exciting, articulate, charming, lively and chatty" mean to you?

And where is someone supposed to get the spare time and energy to do this though, when you have to work all day (usually doing something bland and utilitarian, and therefore doesn't give you exciting conversation material - I'm not going to wow any women talking about crunching numbers or spreadsheets), and then when you have to do all the mundane survival stuff like go shopping, cook, do laundry, clean the house, exercise, etc.?

And then to actually get knowledgeable and skilled enough at some interesting thing, to have something to talk about in the first place? Let alone come up with your own original ideas?

For anyone, but as a guy especially, it's hard to have a normal job with a normal salary to pay for a normal quality of life, and also be some kind of rock star/adventurer all at the same time - without even getting into whatever interests you have just for your own curiosity or enjoyment.

I'm not trying to be confrontational or sarcastic here - this is a question I honestly think about all the time.

I agree with you Skafishy, its deffo hard to balance everything and a lot of people are confused with the heightened expectations even the greeting has to be exciting and different now im thinking wow this may have gone a bit too far

 

[charlotte craig]

What exactly does "exciting, articulate, charming, lively and chatty" mean to you?

And where is someone supposed to get the spare time and energy to do this though, when you have to work all day (usually doing something bland and utilitarian, and therefore doesn't give you exciting conversation material - I'm not going to "wow" any women talking about crunching numbers or spreadsheets), and then when you have to do all the mundane survival stuff like go shopping, cook, do laundry, clean the house, exercise, etc.?

And then to actually get knowledgeable and skilled enough at some interesting thing, to have something to talk about in the first place? Let alone come up with your own original ideas?

If you didn't do wild stuff, or get good at anything in your teens and 20s, I don't know when you're going to have the time.

For anyone, but as a guy especially, it's hard to have a normal job with a normal salary to pay for a normal quality of life, and also be some kind of rock star/adventurer all at the same time - without even getting into whatever interests you have just for your own curiosity or enjoyment.

I'm not trying to be confrontational or sarcastic here - this is a question I honestly think about all the time.

 

[charlotte craig]

You keep on about where will people find the time. If you are not exciting, articulate, charming, lively and chatty make friends with people who are the opposite. I work very long hours and I find time. Anyone who does a bland boring job will not be for me, My job is fascinating and I carry on doing it at the age of 66. People who are in control of their life make sure they do a job they enjoy and pays well. You spend maybe 40 hours a week doing something boring? If you think it is ok to present yourself as quiet, boring etc fine. But then be happy with someone who is also quiet and boring, you are well matched. When a chatty and interesting person - even a very busy one - finds another one - they make time, it is worth the bother.

 

[charlotte craig]

Life is too short to waste on boring things.

 

[charlotte craig]

Be happy.

 

[ardour]

Learn to use the forum reply function before slinging judgements at others maybe.

 

[XspydurX]

I like using games like IMVU, Second Life and other social games to talk to people, just to make other friends. I am extremally shy though, so...lol if I bond with someone, I want to talk to them alot, especially online.