Flakey friends

[Bladerider1]

Hi,
This thread is a bit of a rant type thread...

So, I surf some mental health forums and made contacts/friends, which is great, as that can help MH. What i find annoying is that sometimes people want to talk on something like Kik, which is ok as I guess people want to guard their privacy/number. However, is annoying when I end up with kik, twitter, insta, snapchat to talk to people. So now I have like snapchat on my phone which serves no purpose.

First frustration is people who never talk, and then when they do, they are like "who are you?", because it has been so long.

And then, they read messages but never reply so you are left waiting for another year.


Will add to this list...

But I am fed up with the fact I am single and so focus on friendships but I see the worst in humanity in even simple friendships. If friendships are this hard, then I can't imagine actual dating. :/

 

[Finished]

I don't think that's a rant. You just made accurate statements. IMO, nowadays you have to accept that people are only out for themselves. In order to keep them coming back you have to entise them some how. If they can't get something they want from you then they will not come back. If you want to date you have to put out TONS of effort just to maybe find one or two people maybe that usually don't have anything in common with you. But, it's still about figuring out how to draw someone to you.

 

[Bladerider1]

I forgot one more:

When you swap kik or [INSERT LATEST SOCIAL CHAT APP HERE] with a contact on a forum but they never reply and you see them reply on the forum you met so you message on there. So what is the point in swapping socials if you need to message on the forum again and again just to get a response!

Yeah dating is another level, but I am just thinking friendships. But sadly, even with friendships, there probably has to be an incentive or a gain, which is sad. It really stings. I don't really feel lonely but this does bug me, not sure what I feel.

 

[user 188685]

I said this before on another thread,but,it is everyone's decision and choice,whether they want to talk to you or not.

 

[DragonflytotheMoon]

I've been using social & other sites for 22 years. I rarely give out other contact info. I like to stay on a forum, for example & get to know someone through interacting on the threads. Which sometimes leads to DMs. If a solid connection is made, I might offer my email or perhaps Facebook. Those that offer other means of communication immediately often are those that are just looking for more followers & not for any type of substantial friendship.

 

[MoonRiver]

I'd say it's hard to find friends online. The fact that there is too much of everything, too many options, too much stimuli, ironically makes it a lot harder to establish genuine connections. Or it's just I that have more luck IRL in finding it, but I thought it'd be equally good to have also some online buddies with whom I can exchange thoughts.
I think it may be easier on thematic forums, interests groups, because there members already share something in common. And as sunflowergirl1306 pointed out, it's people's decision whether they want to talk to us. We have to accept this. In other words, it needs to "click" for both sides.
I also rarely give my other contact info (definitely not after exchaning only a few messages. It's in fact annoying when I receive such requests from strangers) because a site/forum where we register is there to serve this purpose of getting to know each other first. When I'm having meaningful conversations with someone, and I'm getting to like that person, then with time I can of course keep in touch with them thorough other means of communication.
Another part is where you search for friends. It's understandable that people with depression or other conditions may just not be in a mood for conversation/don't have the energy to do so.