Hilarious Dates, pre-dates and mismatches

[nerdygirl]

I'll start out by explaining that not only does my profile state that I'm a private person, but none of my pictures reveal my whole face. If you're familiar with Home Improvement, you could say that I pull a Wilson in each of my pictures. Personally, if I saw a profile like this, I'd assume the person was private and probably wouldn't want to share pictures right away. I guess not everybody thinks along the same lines.

Would love to see more pictures.

He didn't even bother to greet me? What a charmer. I said, "Google images is pretty good for that sort of thing."

Lol ok smart little girl. I had no idea. Wow

Since he hadn't picked up that I wasn't interested, I wrote back, "Ah, then it's fortunate you wrote. Have a nice day!"

Seriously, I Like to see more of you.

I didn't know if he was stupid or persistent. "Then you seriously are out of luck."

36? Is that supposed to be your age? Can't tell. Trust me you will be the last to find a man on any site .Smh

Sour grapes much? "You are very entertaining. Please, continue to throw those grapes around."

I just noticed your educational status also; there's a perfect reason why things are left blank on the detail section

The only statistics that are on my profile are about smoking, drugs, and children. "By that logic, I am also less than a centimeter tall. You're loving those grapes."

Don't forget body type , which is the root cause of you not showing any full body pic. Sorry to be so blunt. But. ....smh anyhow, have a great day and good luck

So he was calling me immature, uneducated, and fat? Considering he was the one who had initiated this conversation, that doesn't say much about his taste in women. I looked at his profile so that if I ran into him in person, I'd know to stay away. This was when I noticed his picture. "You've figured me out, you clever thing. Obviously, "the root cause" of me not showing my full body is something entirely different from the reason I do not show my full face. Well spoken by the person who- apparently- looks like a fish tank."

Lol, those are my pets. As my post states, those that are worthy do get to see my pics. I may just send you a courtesy pic Lol who knows, you may like my pics and we may hook up lol. Cuz far as I can see, your not bad on the eyes. But. ....attitude is ugly. Smh that always take away from the beauty

This was getting boring, so I decided to write back one last time before blocking him. "I have no idea what you posted. I didn't care to read it. It's funny, though, that you expect others to be more forthcoming than you are- you show yourself to those you deem worthy, but wanted me to send you pictures just for kicks. Oh, and don't send pictures. I have no interest (which most people would have picked up on from my very first response)."

 

[SofiasMami]

I spent probably a year total on online dating and never responded to messages that just said "hey ur cute".

I met a guy on eharmony once who had 2 young sons, about 5 and 3. He brought them over one day for dinner. My daughter was into Disney princess crap at that time & had a few fluffy dresses she used for dress-up.

The guy asked if he could have his sons try the dresses on so they could "explore gender roles"!! Well what the hell do you say when someone asks that! I shrugged and said yes. The older boy flat out refused but the younger one agreed but didn't seem too eager about it.
A week later, the guy said he went to Toys R Us and bought some dresses for his boys!
We only lasted a few more weeks after that.

Also one of my nightgowns mysteriously disappeared during a visit to his house once. I told all this to a friend and she said "he took it". Hmmm.....

Happily single right here!

-Teresa

 

[EveWasFramed]

^^ OMG, Teresa! lol

 

[jaguarundi]

yeah, sure, like that guy that on the third short exchange of messages felt the need to share that he didn't know who his father was, and after 2 more messages insinuated that also my father "wasn't the real seed shooter".
Pure crazy, indeed

I find that an original and creative opening to a potential partner - "Hey, I'm a *******, and you might be one too!".. C'mon guys, try it sometime, let us know what happens

 

[WildernessWildChild]

The best pick-up line ever used on me was "i know where I live and my beds nice n' comfy, wanna find out?". I didn't even have to buy her a drink. I miss being in my twenties some days....

 

[jaguarundi]

Nerdygirl - good god! What an online charmer you found there!

As my post states, those that are worthy do get to see my pics. I may just send you a courtesy pic

- ! Stock his fish-tank with pirhanas and shove his bloody head in it ! Sheesh.

And Teresa. Clearly I had a winner with my tranny guy. I could have borrowed his clothes. Much better than his STEALING mine! good lord. Really. Good lord!

Looking forward to more tales from the depths of the dating woods.....

... which brings me to WWC. Not a pick-up line I have ever heard, but clearly effective. And honest at least.

 

[ringwood]

I was reminded by our own Lady Eve's texting adventures with 'Wake Guy' about how sometimes, dating just goes wrong. But - it's sooo wrong it's funny. What they did, what you did.. Anyone feel like sharing an amusing experience?

To begin. A friend set me up on a blind date with a guy she knew. She wasn't really interested in him, but she thought he and I might have a few things in common.

Anyway, I went for a drink with him, and a meal. We really seemed to be hitting it off. We did share one or two interests, he could hold his own in a conversation, and wasn't bad looking - not handsome, but sort of manly and rugged. He was an Australian, solvent, worked in engineering and construction. It all seemed to be going really well.

Anyway, I noticed he had very smooth skin, his legs and arms (it was summer) were quite hairless, so I asked him if he was a swimmer or into cycling, as guys into seriously into that often wax....

..... But no. It wasn't that. Turns out that every few weeks he would visit a special club, and spend quite a lot of money being made over into a Pageant Queen (evening-wear section of the event). Full make-up, wig, nails. Sequinned gown, panty-hose..The works.

On balance, I declined a further date. Not that I had a problem with what he was doing, per se, but I felt that if anyone was going to prance around my house in 4inch heels and a sash, it was going to be me. .. And in any case, his Jimmy Choos would be rather too big for me to borrow.

And guess what - my friend knew about his little hobby all along. It was why she wasn't interested in him in the first place....

Gosh...he sounds like my dream guy. Seriously.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I was reminded by our own Lady Eve's texting adventures with 'Wake Guy' about how sometimes, dating just goes wrong. But - it's sooo wrong it's funny. What they did, what you did.. Anyone feel like sharing an amusing experience?

To begin. A friend set me up on a blind date with a guy she knew. She wasn't really interested in him, but she thought he and I might have a few things in common.

Anyway, I went for a drink with him, and a meal. We really seemed to be hitting it off. We did share one or two interests, he could hold his own in a conversation, and wasn't bad looking - not handsome, but sort of manly and rugged. He was an Australian, solvent, worked in engineering and construction. It all seemed to be going really well.

Anyway, I noticed he had very smooth skin, his legs and arms (it was summer) were quite hairless, so I asked him if he was a swimmer or into cycling, as guys into seriously into that often wax....

..... But no. It wasn't that. Turns out that every few weeks he would visit a special club, and spend quite a lot of money being made over into a Pageant Queen (evening-wear section of the event). Full make-up, wig, nails. Sequinned gown, panty-hose..The works.

On balance, I declined a further date. Not that I had a problem with what he was doing, per se, but I felt that if anyone was going to prance around my house in 4inch heels and a sash, it was going to be me. .. And in any case, his Jimmy Choos would be rather too big for me to borrow.

And guess what - my friend knew about his little hobby all along. It was why she wasn't interested in him in the first place....

Gosh...he sounds like my dream guy. Seriously.

I'd like to take a moment and clarify the people on the West side of British Columbia are totally different than us mountain-dwellers on the East side of the province

 

[ringwood]

I was reminded by our own Lady Eve's texting adventures with 'Wake Guy' about how sometimes, dating just goes wrong. But - it's sooo wrong it's funny. What they did, what you did.. Anyone feel like sharing an amusing experience?

To begin. A friend set me up on a blind date with a guy she knew. She wasn't really interested in him, but she thought he and I might have a few things in common.

Anyway, I went for a drink with him, and a meal. We really seemed to be hitting it off. We did share one or two interests, he could hold his own in a conversation, and wasn't bad looking - not handsome, but sort of manly and rugged. He was an Australian, solvent, worked in engineering and construction. It all seemed to be going really well.

Anyway, I noticed he had very smooth skin, his legs and arms (it was summer) were quite hairless, so I asked him if he was a swimmer or into cycling, as guys into seriously into that often wax....

..... But no. It wasn't that. Turns out that every few weeks he would visit a special club, and spend quite a lot of money being made over into a Pageant Queen (evening-wear section of the event). Full make-up, wig, nails. Sequinned gown, panty-hose..The works.

On balance, I declined a further date. Not that I had a problem with what he was doing, per se, but I felt that if anyone was going to prance around my house in 4inch heels and a sash, it was going to be me. .. And in any case, his Jimmy Choos would be rather too big for me to borrow.

And guess what - my friend knew about his little hobby all along. It was why she wasn't interested in him in the first place....

Gosh...he sounds like my dream guy. Seriously.

I'd like to take a moment and clarify the people on the West side of British Columbia are totally different than us mountain-dwellers on the East side of the province

What can I say? It's all the testosterone I'm constantly surrounded by up here in the boonies - rugged he-man loggers and fisherman and hunters. Ugh - It's complete testosterone overload. Give me a man in sparkly high heels any day, baby!

 

[WildernessWildChild]

What can I say? It's all the testosterone I'm constantly surrounded by up here in the boonies - rugged he-man loggers and fisherman and hunters. Ugh - It's complete testosterone overload. Give me a man in sparkly high heels any day, baby!

Fair enough, I'll give you that, that's all I hear about up at the mine as well- you forgot to add manly-man stuff like watching sports on TV and the play by play discussion and dissecting of every move made....

Those sparkly high heels sound painful, I'll stick to my sandals.

 

[jaguarundi]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

 

[WildernessWildChild]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

 

[jaguarundi]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Silly little me!! I should have guessed Size 46 Manolo Bahnick (Blanick? Blahblahneck... can't spell 'em. Can't afford 'em Nor whats-his-face Laboutiere either)

 

[WildernessWildChild]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Silly little me!! I should have guessed Size 46 Manolo Bahnick (Blanick? Blahblahneck... can't spell 'em. Can't afford 'em Nor whats-his-face Laboutiere either)

I was leaning more towards a Columbia size ten open toe....leather of course....to slip my dainties into.... Makes for interesting tan lines btw

 

[jaguarundi]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Silly little me!! I should have guessed Size 46 Manolo Bahnick (Blanick? Blahblahneck... can't spell 'em. Can't afford 'em Nor whats-his-face Laboutiere either)

I was leaning more towards a Columbia size ten open toe....leather of course....to slip my dainties into.... Makes for interesting tan lines btw

THOSE are wussbag new-age girly sandals. I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

 

[ringwood]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Aha! I should open a shoe store with a special section for larger sizes, maybe some lovely knee-high boots and such...never know what I'll attract.

 

[jaguarundi]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Aha! I should open a shoe store with a special section for larger sizes, maybe some lovely knee-high boots and such...never know what I'll attract.

You go for it, girl (but remember to have a side or back entrance for the ... shy!]

 

[WildernessWildChild]

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Silly little me!! I should have guessed Size 46 Manolo Bahnick (Blanick? Blahblahneck... can't spell 'em. Can't afford 'em Nor whats-his-face Laboutiere either)

I was leaning more towards a Columbia size ten open toe....leather of course....to slip my dainties into.... Makes for interesting tan lines btw

THOSE are wussbag new-age girly sandals. I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

Wussbag? That's a new one- more like easy to kick-off when a guy spots water (stream, river, lake, etc.) that he needs to plunge into in a hurry....

---

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Aha! I should open a shoe store with a special section for larger sizes, maybe some lovely knee-high boots and such...never know what I'll attract.

Maybe you'll need to stock razors for the hairy-legged types as well.

 

[jaguarundi]

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Silly little me!! I should have guessed Size 46 Manolo Bahnick (Blanick? Blahblahneck... can't spell 'em. Can't afford 'em Nor whats-his-face Laboutiere either)

I was leaning more towards a Columbia size ten open toe....leather of course....to slip my dainties into.... Makes for interesting tan lines btw

THOSE are wussbag new-age girly sandals. I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

Wussbag? That's a new one- more like easy to kick-off when a guy spots water (stream, river, lake, etc.) that he needs to plunge into in a hurry....

---

^From what he said, it was the testosterone laden job that he had which made him want to get in touch with his feminine side... So next time you meet a logger, envision what he might look like in high-heels and a tiara.....

(or a miner come to think of it) - WWC WWC - where are yooooo?

Duh- going shoe shopping of course.

Aha! I should open a shoe store with a special section for larger sizes, maybe some lovely knee-high boots and such...never know what I'll attract.

Maybe you'll need to stock razors for the hairy-legged types as well.

---

Razors? Don't be so bloody soft. Waxed legs, back and crack... that'll make you say ooch!

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Razors? Don't be so bloody soft. Waxed legs, back and crack... that'll make you say ooch!

******* Hell- just the thought of it makes me wanna go homicidal!