Hilarious Dates, pre-dates and mismatches

[jaguarundi]

Razors? Don't be so bloody soft. Waxed legs, back and crack... that'll make you say ooch!

******* Hell- just the thought of it makes me wanna go homicidal!

And yet women have Brazilian's every day..... you big girl's blouse (as they oop north in the UK where I come from)

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Razors? Don't be so bloody soft. Waxed legs, back and crack... that'll make you say ooch!

******* Hell- just the thought of it makes me wanna go homicidal!

And yet women have Brazilian's every day..... you big girl's blouse (as they oop north in the UK where I come from)

It's not a look of amazement on my face Sweetie- more like amusement at the **** women put themselves through.

 

[jaguarundi]

Razors? Don't be so bloody soft. Waxed legs, back and crack... that'll make you say ooch!

******* Hell- just the thought of it makes me wanna go homicidal!

And yet women have Brazilian's every day..... you big girl's blouse (as they oop north in the UK where I come from)

It's not a look of amazement on my face Sweetie- more like amusement at the **** women put themselves through.

Well we do it for big, wonderful fellas like you, sweetie chops! (actually, I lie. Catch me having my crotch waxed for some idiot bloke, and you can start giving me the anti-dementia drugs right then and there)...

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Razors? Don't be so bloody soft. Waxed legs, back and crack... that'll make you say ooch!

******* Hell- just the thought of it makes me wanna go homicidal!

And yet women have Brazilian's every day..... you big girl's blouse (as they oop north in the UK where I come from)

It's not a look of amazement on my face Sweetie- more like amusement at the **** women put themselves through.

Well we do it for big, wonderful fellas like you, sweetie chops! (actually, I lie. Catch me having my crotch waxed for some idiot bloke, and you can start giving me the anti-dementia drugs right then and there)...

Never been a requirement for this idiot.

I love ALL, I've truly found interesting ways to view myself- Chump, idiotic, testosterone-laden....all this time I've just thought of myself as a guy doing the best he can

 

[jaguarundi]

^^ Trying to force a compliment out of me???? Dream on,
:club:

Oh all right then. You - don't - totally - suck....

***oh god. Now I have to go and lie down** Where is the cat nip when you need it??

 

[WildernessWildChild]

^^ Trying to force a compliment out of me???? Dream on,
:club:

Oh all right then. You - don't - totally - suck....

***oh god. Now I have to go and lie down** Where is the cat nip when you need it??

LMAO! Kid has said that to me a couple of times.

 

[SofiasMami]

I was reminded by our own Lady Eve's texting adventures with 'Wake Guy' about how sometimes, dating just goes wrong. But - it's sooo wrong it's funny. What they did, what you did.. Anyone feel like sharing an amusing experience?

To begin. A friend set me up on a blind date with a guy she knew. She wasn't really interested in him, but she thought he and I might have a few things in common.

Anyway, I went for a drink with him, and a meal. We really seemed to be hitting it off. We did share one or two interests, he could hold his own in a conversation, and wasn't bad looking - not handsome, but sort of manly and rugged. He was an Australian, solvent, worked in engineering and construction. It all seemed to be going really well.

Anyway, I noticed he had very smooth skin, his legs and arms (it was summer) were quite hairless, so I asked him if he was a swimmer or into cycling, as guys into seriously into that often wax....

..... But no. It wasn't that. Turns out that every few weeks he would visit a special club, and spend quite a lot of money being made over into a Pageant Queen (evening-wear section of the event). Full make-up, wig, nails. Sequinned gown, panty-hose..The works.

On balance, I declined a further date. Not that I had a problem with what he was doing, per se, but I felt that if anyone was going to prance around my house in 4inch heels and a sash, it was going to be me. .. And in any case, his Jimmy Choos would be rather too big for me to borrow.

And guess what - my friend knew about his little hobby all along. It was why she wasn't interested in him in the first place....

Gosh...he sounds like my dream guy. Seriously.

I'd like to take a moment and clarify the people on the West side of British Columbia are totally different than us mountain-dwellers on the East side of the province

What can I say? It's all the testosterone I'm constantly surrounded by up here in the boonies - rugged he-man loggers and fisherman and hunters. Ugh - It's complete testosterone overload

Whoa, whoa, where do you live? I'm moving there

-Teresa

 

[EveWasFramed]

I see that WWC is busily forming his harem. Oh wait...or is it that the lovely ladies of ALL are going to use HIM as THEIR harem boy? *ponders*

 

[nerdygirl]

As I go through my old messages to see if I have any that really made me laugh, I note that I'm kind of sarcastic with guys who write overly short first notes- especially if their English skills are worse than a fifth grader's.

Hi....im __. Whats your name?

Joseph

Why do you have a guys name

...because my penis is huge...

bye

I wish I still had the letter from the guy who told me that I was his rib. I knew he meant that in a Biblical sense, but my response was basically that I demanded DNA testing. I also said that even if he provided it, I was prepared to take the matter to court. It became even more amusing when he wrote back to explain.

 

[EveWasFramed]

^^ lol, Nerdy.


Part of this thread's title....mismatched....

I received a message from a guy who was 5'2" tall. I'm 5'9". My kid is about 5' tall.
Luckily, he was a smoker so I was ok with pointing to that instead of his stature (smoke makes me cough and sneeze). There was no way I was going to hurt his feelings by telling him that I would feel very uncomfortable going out with someone who was only two inches taller than my 8 year old daughter.
I'm not even sure I'd really classify this one as funny. More sad than anything - I mean....you have to wonder if it might bother him if/when he gets turned down because of his height.

 

[kamya]

I mean....you have to wonder if it might bother him if/when he gets turned down because of his height.

I'd say there is a very high chance that it bothers him a lot.

 

[EveWasFramed]

^^ I think you're right. I'm glad I didn't say anything about it.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I see that WWC is busily forming his harem. Oh wait...or is it that the lovely ladies of ALL are going to use HIM as THEIR harem boy? *ponders*

Harem....out of this bunch!!!! Are you CRAZY????

 

[Batman55]

I wish I still had the letter from the guy who told me that I was his rib. I knew he meant that in a Biblical sense, but my response was basically that I demanded DNA testing. I also said that even if he provided it, I was prepared to take the matter to court. It became even more amusing when he wrote back to explain.

Hi nerdygirl,

You're the apple in my eye. Now would you like to take this conversation to email?

Would that work for you as a decent first line?

---

^^ lol, Nerdy.


Part of this thread's title....mismatched....

I received a message from a guy who was 5'2" tall. I'm 5'9". My kid is about 5' tall.
Luckily, he was a smoker so I was ok with pointing to that instead of his stature (smoke makes me cough and sneeze). There was no way I was going to hurt his feelings by telling him that I would feel very uncomfortable going out with someone who was only two inches taller than my 8 year old daughter.
I'm not even sure I'd really classify this one as funny. More sad than anything - I mean....you have to wonder if it might bother him if/when he gets turned down because of his height.

I am 5'9" without heels. Good enough for you?

 

[EveWasFramed]

I wish I still had the letter from the guy who told me that I was his rib. I knew he meant that in a Biblical sense, but my response was basically that I demanded DNA testing. I also said that even if he provided it, I was prepared to take the matter to court. It became even more amusing when he wrote back to explain.

Hi nerdygirl,

You're the apple in my eye. Now would you like to take this conversation to email?

Would that work for you as a decent first line?

---

^^ lol, Nerdy.


Part of this thread's title....mismatched....

I received a message from a guy who was 5'2" tall. I'm 5'9". My kid is about 5' tall.
Luckily, he was a smoker so I was ok with pointing to that instead of his stature (smoke makes me cough and sneeze). There was no way I was going to hurt his feelings by telling him that I would feel very uncomfortable going out with someone who was only two inches taller than my 8 year old daughter.
I'm not even sure I'd really classify this one as funny. More sad than anything - I mean....you have to wonder if it might bother him if/when he gets turned down because of his height.

I am 5'9" without heels. Good enough for you?

---

Lol, I'm also 5'9" without heels!

 

[jaguarundi]

Had a height mismatch myself. This one was via a newspaper lonely hearts that I did a long time ago. Got about 100 replies or thereabouts. Anyway I had specified tall but no actual height, as I remember. Spoke to this chap on the phone and he seemed OK.

Met with him, he was 5ft 5. OK only 2 inches shorter than me but in what universe is 5ft 5 tall for a guy? He actually however was a good date in other ways ... He nsisted on paying (nothing worse on a date than a guy who ADDS UP what you ate and drank so you can pay your exact share... Had one of them) and was quite an entertaining conversationalist. In fact I might have carried on dating him but I found out he wasn't actually divorced from his 3rd wife as yet........

 

[Nightwing]

He nsisted on paying (nothing worse on a date than a guy who ADDS UP what you ate and drank so you can pay your exact share... Had one of them) and was quite an entertaining conversationalist.

I've been stiffed on a bill on a couple of first dates. (By women who claim they want to "pay their fair share/their half.") One actually turned up without her purse... any advice to prevent this happening in the future? (While avoiding looking like a penny pincher.) I'm obviously not a penny pincher, because I paid these without making a fuss.... but... I feel kinda used when it happens, because I'm not really earning enough at the moment to pay for everything easily.

 

[jaguarundi]

He nsisted on paying (nothing worse on a date than a guy who ADDS UP what you ate and drank so you can pay your exact share... Had one of them) and was quite an entertaining conversationalist.

I've been stiffed on a bill on a couple of first dates. (By women who claim they want to "pay their fair share/their half.") One actually turned up without her purse... any advice to prevent this happening in the future? (While avoiding looking like a penny pincher.) I'm obviously not a penny pincher, because I paid these without making a fuss.... but... I feel kinda used when it happens, because I'm not really earning enough at the moment to pay for everything easily.

This is a very difficult area. Possibly a minefield, actually. Paying half the bill is fine and I never minded doing it. The adding up thing though - that really is a no-no for a man or a woman, it comes over as horribly mean to be working it out to the cent, and it isn't as if I would order anything madly more expensive than the other person. But other ladies out there might not feel that way about it!

Ducking out of the bill is a dreadful thing to do, particularly when you are younger and maybe dating more.. how should a bloke be expected to pay for it all? I don't quite know why they did that. All I can suggest is that they were simply not seriously interested in dating you in the first place? Or maybe she really did forget her purse (it can happen). Or, and this is not something that may be true in your case, they felt the date was utter crap so they decided to get a free meal out of it, at least. I have known some girls who would do this, I'm afraid.

How to stop being stuck with a bill - tricky. I think that on getting the menu, it is OK to say to a girl, something like, 'I suppose we are sharing the bill?' Or 'shall we share the bill'? It's very unlikely she will say, no we aren't! Also, don't pick anywhere that has quite expensive items on the menu unless you know you can afford to pay it all.

But I have to say - as what some might describe as a strong woman - that it can be quite nice to feel treated and special, and the guy I mentioned did that, not just by paying, but he was funny and well-read and interested in me as well.

He certainly changed my mind about shorter guys. Dated a few more after that. I found that shorter guys try harder!!

 

[SofiasMami]

I see that WWC is busily forming his harem. Oh wait...or is it that the lovely ladies of ALL are going to use HIM as THEIR harem boy? *ponders*

Harem....out of this bunch!!!! Are you CRAZY????

I was just thinking the same thing!

-Teresa

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I see that WWC is busily forming his harem. Oh wait...or is it that the lovely ladies of ALL are going to use HIM as THEIR harem boy? *ponders*

Harem....out of this bunch!!!! Are you CRAZY????

I was just thinking the same thing!

-Teresa

You're all lovely ladies Teresa but some of this bunch are slightly terrifying (YOU know who you are)- besides, I've never been interested in multiple partnering, I'm kind of orientated more towards one on one.