Gonna ramble a bit here. Avert your eyes.
I don't think online dating is so bad; I just think people just need to understand how to approach it more intelligently. For starters, a well-crafted profile goes a long way. The more mindful you are about the presentation, the better your profile will perform in terms of weeding out what you don't want and attracting what you do. Don't be disingenuous in presenting yourself, but pay attention to the language you use as well as the tone. Stay on topic and write enough to let your personality come through. Make it something more than a generic fact sheet—just don't end up writing a self-absorbed novel.
Rude and crass messages are an unfortunate reality of online life. Don't take them personally. Whoever sent that message was probably an ******* to the previous 100 people before you, and will be an ******* to next 100 people after you. We'll see how far that gets them in life. Short, dead-ended messages that put the burden of conversation on the recipient waste a person's time, and shouldn't be sent. If you receive such messages, reply to them at your own peril. The resulting exchange can often be dull, limited, and ultimately fruitless. If someone puts effort into presenting themselves to others by way of their profile, then the person messaging needs to show a reciprocation of that effort through their initial exchange. It's basic manners. Again, If you're going to put the burden of conversation entirely on the other person, then don't start the conversation in the first place. If you struggle with that, use something from their profile to spur the conversation. Or at the very, very least, introduce yourself. Don't act like your profile does all the talking for you. Again, it's basic manners. Show some initiative, some enthusiasm, and show that you can pull your own weight in an exchange. Yes, sometimes good looks make up for a lack of presentation or effort, but why sit idle on that playing field when putting in the extra effort can do wonders for you.
If you exchange some messages and there's no glimmer of a rapport, it's okay to quickly discount a person. You don't have to try and be thorough and stick it out just in case. Also, don't keep talking to them out of politeness. Don't get stuck waiting for them to make a move. If you get a sense that there might be something there—or if you're just unsure about what you think of the person—meet up or talk a little on the phone. That will help clarify things one way or the other. A lot of people get worn down with protracted messaging and the ambiguity of intent that it communicates.
Also, you can get perfectly fine dates from free sites; it's all about how well you use them. Shelling out a few dollars a month for a dating service does not certify a person as being a good catch, and I wouldn't assume anything about their character or intent based on that fact alone. Basically, don't put your faith in the hands of a paywall. Exercise your own practicality and shrewdness in any situation.
