I don't think it looks good, if you both can't even have a conversation.
But, I'm not going to tell you to do one thing or the other, since it's your life.
I will say that I don't think the shaming approach is very good in situations like this, or in most situations period, because no one likes not having the power to get their way, and to accept that that's you - someone who doesn't have power, someone that gets kicked around by life. It's like telling someone to accept that they are a loser, one who loses, fails, isn't competent or powerful or lucky enough to impose their will on the world instead of the world imposing circumstances and limitations on you. No one likes being made to feel like they just fundamentally aren't good enough for what they want and have no control over their life, and have to accept being predetermined and confined to the role of loser.
It also turns the topic into a tug of war, and not about the real issue. It's kind of like...identity politics that go on right now. People just want to be the side that wins, almost past the point of what the original conflict is about. That's when it gets nasty, that's when the mudslinging starts. The more the other side tells you to concede and accept defeat, the more you dig in and it just becomes about wanting to beat them instead of the original situation, and around and around you go.
From personal experience I'd say I hated being told to just give up. That I wasn't good enough. That I had to "be realistic" and settle because I was mediocre, a loser, and that other guys were just better than me and I couldn't buck the social hierarchy, that I've wanted to ever since I was introduced to it in kindergarten.
But what I would also say is...take a step back from this situation and really look at it, from outside of it instead of still being inside it. If you only look at it from inside it, like you've been doing, you might not see the whole picture. Don't talk to the person or write any poems about her or anything for a while, get out of just liking this person out of habit because she's who you've always liked. And when you've detached for a while, come back and observe it more objectively.
One thing I noticed for me is that it's almost comforting to "like" someone, as a sort of placeholder. It's kind of nice to have someone to fantasize about, because at least it's someone instead of nothing. Sometimes it is real liking. But other times I think it's just a habit, or a story we get caught up in, where we tell ourselves we like the person because it fills the space and there is no one closer to someone we could really connect with.
Basically take some time off from "liking" her, then revisit the idea of this person after you've taken a break from being in continuous "liking", and see if you still actually like her or not. See if the "liking" comes to you naturally, if it even makes sense to like this person, or if you've been forcing it because you've told yourself a story about who this person is, and liking who you think they are, instead of who they really are.
Do you really like this person?
Do you have things to talk about? Common interests, goals, tastes and activities you like for fun, etc.? Are there experiences, activities, curiosity, and enthusiasm for anything you could really share?
Could this person learn anything from you? Could you learn anything from them?
What would you want to talk to her about, or ask her? What (non-sexual and non-romantic) activities would you like to do together?
Can you relate to them as a person? Can you relate to their experiences, their attitudes, etc.? Do you share values, attitudes, beliefs, worldviews, life philosophy?
Do you really like their character? Do you like their traits and characteristics? Are they respectable? Are they friendly and nice? Do they make you feel warm, comfortable, at ease?
Or do you feel like you'd have to put a mask on for them and pretend to be somebody else?
If it is about looks, do you REALLY like their looks? Are they REALLY the most attractive girl ever?
Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with them? Would you really want them to be your "forever" person?
Or have you just been liking this person for so long that it's just become a story, you versus the situation instead of actually liking the person or anything about them, and you don't want to "lose", because losing is what losers do and you don't want to be someone who loses?
For that matter, you said you started liking her 13 years ago - is she the same person she was when you started liking her?
Are you?
Or have either one of you or both of you changed?
I was in a situation like that for a while - from about 2013 until, I don't really know when it ended (and once before that from 2006 to 2012 but it was a similar situation, so there's no need to tell the same story twice). I deleted the girl off all my social media early this year, so I guess that made it official. But I stopped caring or even really thinking about her all that much or feeling anything for her, a while before that. I probably haven't honestly felt anything for her really since late 2015. After that, I was just angry at my situation in general.
I initially stopped talking to her with the idea of not talking to her again until I could get my mind clear, learn more interesting things, accomplish something, be more confident and manly and make a better impression, and stop talking like a weak, boring loser, still intending to win her over. But as I kept on not talking to her, not feeling ready, I just thought of her less and less. I felt less and less for her. I became busier with other things. I just got into myself and trying to retrace my steps and figure out my own problems. Time went by, but I didn't ever really feel an urge to talk to her.
Eventually, I saw her add a bunch of books to her to-read list on a book website we were "friends" on. I realized that I didn't want to talk about any of those topics. And I already knew that she didn't see any value in things that I liked to talk about, so I couldn't share my interests with her. I couldn't share my feelings with her either, not even just the romantic ones but any of them because she was just this aloof, superior-acting person who would have viewed my feelings as weakness. I didn't agree with or like a lot of her worldviews, which was pretty much just survival of the fittest and might makes right. I found her to be cold, nasty, mean-spirited, and needlessly rebellious. I realized I didn't really have any desire to talk to her, there wasn't anything I wanted to ask her, and I didn't really find her good-looking anymore either. Not only that, but I was starting to have other things to do, and I didn't want to divert time and energy towards this. It never really did anything for me except make me feel unhappy, and I just didn't want this weighing me down anymore. I realized that it wasn't just more trouble than it was worth - rather it was all trouble and no worth to work to try to gain the approval of someone who denied it, who also made me feel like crap, who wasn't even really interesting or fun to talk to, and who wasn't a nice person. I had to jettison this situation. I realized that if I wanted to have any chance to make it at all at this point, I had to trim things away in my life down to the essentials.
I got up the nerve to look at her social media, and it only confirmed the change I was feeling - that I didn't really like her, didn't agree with her, and we didn't have anything to talk about. She once told me that we were incompatible but didn't really explain it well, but all of a sudden I understood and actually agreed with it and wish it was presented in a way that I could have understood sooner, and didn't feel like it was either her being vague and weird, or an insult. I realized after looking at her social media and the things she liked, the way she talked, her views, I felt like I never really liked the person she actually was, even when I thought I liked her. I just liked my perception of her, the version of her that existed in my mind, the person I wanted to believe she was - and even the person I thought she was, still wasn't perfect for me, and I always knew it, but I went along with it anyway out of thinking that I wouldn't meet anyone I liked better. That helped me let go a lot...realizing that the person I thought I wanted, was never a real person, was never someone that actually existed. She was always this person that I realized I didn't really like, the whole time. I felt like the whole entire thing of talking to her was one big mistake, and that my first impression of her - that I didn't like her because she was a smart-ass know-it-all cold Darwinistic edgelord - was right. I felt like if for some reason our positions reversed and for some reason she liked me, all it would mean is that I would have to turn her down instead because I definitely would NOT have wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. If I had, not only would I still look at and talk to other women, but I would have felt unhappy and alone.
I didn't even see a point to being friends as there were other people that I could have better conversations with who made me feel better and were nicer to me. I realized that, while I still don't know if it's full "liking", there were some other people I met who had some traits that I could like. I don't know what the answer is for me anymore, but I know that she isn't it. She wouldn't have made me happy.
The thing is, I NEVER would have believed this in 2013-2015. And I definitely wasn't going to arrive there by people shaming me for feeling what I felt, and basically making me feel like they were rooting for my circumstances and the social pecking order against me. But once I realized that I didn't like this girl on my own terms, because she wasn't someone I would ever have been able to be happy with, it gradually made sense. I didn't give up on her. I wasn't forced to admit defeat and know my limitations accept my circumstances and resign myself to a lesser lifestyle. Life didn't make a loser of me. Rather, I lost interest in her, and I realized that my "liking" was misplaced on someone that, when I stopped and thought about it, there was nothing to this person for me to like. I didn't care that she turned me down because I didn't want her either, because I knew that it would have made me unhappy to live with the real person that she was, every day, for the rest of my life, and this whole thing of "liking" her was a mistake that never should have happened in the first place. If I'd been with her I still would have dreamed of someone else - someone better-looking, someone with more common interests that I could share, someone who wasn't so dark and brooding and "edgy" and critical of everything all the time, someone who was just nicer.
Again, I'm not telling you to do one thing or the other, except maybe take a step back for a while, however long it takes, and really think about it. You might find that you're not that crazy about her after all. You might get more self-esteem and peace of mind and your path might become clearer without this situation weighing you down.
This. Definitely this. 
