How many people over 20 are still virgins?

[tal]

I'm 25 and still a virgin. Sometimes I can't believe it's possible that I've got to this age without having sex, other times I just sit there in despair realising I've thrown away so many years of my youth where I should have been meeting women, enjoying relationships, having sex etc.

Since I hit 25 it just seems to have gotten worse. I just can't seem to stop thinking about my predicament. I dunno if that's common among other older virgins - to suddenly reach an age where the reality of your situtation starts to become more apparent?

Unfortunately I'm quite a sexual person in that I enjoy readng, watching, talking about it. So not having experienced it is very difficult to deal with. I really need to lose my virginity as soon as possible...I can't stand going on like this much longer. I've already got a ton of regrets about remaining a virgin so long, which I suppose I'll have to live with the rest of my days, so the sooner I can start making up for lost time the better.

I really feel like I'm in an impossible situation though, because I REALLY want my first time to be with someone else equally inexperienced, but at 25 that's becoming more and more unlikely. I mean, most girls who remain virgins in their mid 20s long are looking to wait until marriage or until they meet 'mr right' (who probably doesn't exist anyway...). Girls who still haven't done it are probably teenagers, which is perhaps a bit too young - in all honesty if I did meet a significantly younger girl I think I'd be jealous of them for having experienced sex all those years before I did.

Sadly on most shy/sa communities for every female in my situation there's probably 50 guys. ( why did I have to be born male... lol ). I realise there's lots of guys many years older than me in similar circumstances...I do feel for them as well.

I know I'm being picky and I've been told so elsewhere, but I just want to try and gets things right for once...to cross that milestone in a way that I can look back on fondly without any regrets.

I don't expect anyone to agree with me or even care, but I just need to vent since I've got absolutely no one I can openly talk to about this. All the people at work ever say is 'go to a prostitute'...I mean WTF

Thanks for reading. lol

 

[Zak]

23 and a virgin.

 

[Sodium]

21 in Jan.. I'm one of those "wait for Mr. Right"... but if I have to wait too long, then too bad for him

 

[Spare]

I'm 28, and I am also flying Virgin Airlines. Yeah, it kind of mess with you. You wonder, 'what's wrong with me? Why aren't I normal?' Not one single friend of mine from high school graduated a virgin (a few of them graduated pregnant). I was hung up on the same girl in high school, who just happened to be my best friend's girlfriend, and then after high school I just have never found myself in a position to meet women. I don't even know any single women. Not any at all. All of my friends are older than me, and married to boot, so I'm not going to be meeting anyone through them, despite all of their assurances of "don't worry, we'll find you someone".

I went through that phase of 'I just have to do it, I can't miss out on it anymore,' all the while terrified of the prospect (I just KNOW I would do nothing but embarrass myself in the sack). But then one day my mindset began to change. The idea of a one-night-stand, though never all that appealing to me, became downright appalling. I seem to have reached a point in my life where, if I ever do finally get to lose my virginity, it has to be with someone special. Someone I care about, and someone who cares about me. I won't even go to strip clubs, never mind the fact that I've never seen a naked woman in real life before.

I went out for Halloween last year with some friends, dressed (ingeniously I might add) as Santa Claus. At the last bar of the night I was sitting alone at a table, a sad, lonely Santa, watching all these people and happy couples around me having a good ole' drunken time. Then this girl in a slutty leather costume came over and from out of nowhere started rubbing up on me. I was, of course, all thumbs, mentally as well as physically. Eventually she tugged down my Santa beard and gave me a little peck on the corner of my mouth, then wandered off into the crowd. She told my friend a bit later that she'd just wanted to make me blush. What she did was make me feel like garbage. That was the physically closest I've ever been to a woman. It was the most sexual thing that has ever happened to me, and it happened in a disgusting, dimly lit bar filled with smoke and drunken idiots. It was CHEAP.

When it happens (if it happens; I'm beginnging to suspect it may not), It cannot be cheap. It has to be deep, it has to be emotional, and it has to be LOVING. There aren't many guys who will understand this. If I were to discuss any of this with anyone in person, I'm sure the cries of "get over yourself" would be deafening. In which case I would need a pair of earplugs, because this is just the way it is for me.

 

[Papabear]

I lost my virginity when I was 20 to a woman that I loved very very much. I consider myself pretty lucky for that. I've had sex plenty of times since then with several different women... honestly it's not all that it's cracked up to be IMHO.

Sex with someone you care about is awesome, sex with someone you don't give a **** about is just a means to an end...

 

[ExiledWays]

I'm in the same situation (turning 23 later this year). It's actually not a big deal for me, I guess I have way too many other things to worry about. Love is what truly matters anyways, if I can't have that then I really don't care much about sex.

 

[MiKeY]

I'm 28, and I am also flying Virgin Airlines. Yeah, it kind of mess with you. You wonder, 'what's wrong with me? Why aren't I normal?' Not one single friend of mine from high school graduated a virgin (a few of them graduated pregnant). I was hung up on the same girl in high school, who just happened to be my best friend's girlfriend, and then after high school I just have never found myself in a position to meet women. I don't even know any single women. Not any at all. All of my friends are older than me, and married to boot, so I'm not going to be meeting anyone through them, despite all of their assurances of "don't worry, we'll find you someone".

I went through that phase of 'I just have to do it, I can't miss out on it anymore,' all the while terrified of the prospect (I just KNOW I would do nothing but embarrass myself in the sack). But then one day my mindset began to change. The idea of a one-night-stand, though never all that appealing to me, became downright appalling. I seem to have reached a point in my life where, if I ever do finally get to lose my virginity, it has to be with someone special. Someone I care about, and someone who cares about me. I won't even go to strip clubs, never mind the fact that I've never seen a naked woman in real life before.

I went out for Halloween last year with some friends, dressed (ingeniously I might add) as Santa Claus. At the last bar of the night I was sitting alone at a table, a sad, lonely Santa, watching all these people and happy couples around me having a good ole' drunken time. Then this girl in a slutty leather costume came over and from out of nowhere started rubbing up on me. I was, of course, all thumbs, mentally as well as physically. Eventually she tugged down my Santa beard and gave me a little peck on the corner of my mouth, then wandered off into the crowd. She told my friend a bit later that she'd just wanted to make me blush. What she did was make me feel like garbage. That was the physically closest I've ever been to a woman. It was the most sexual thing that has ever happened to me, and it happened in a disgusting, dimly lit bar filled with smoke and drunken idiots. It was CHEAP.

When it happens (if it happens; I'm beginnging to suspect it may not), It cannot be cheap. It has to be deep, it has to be emotional, and it has to be LOVING. There aren't many guys who will understand this. If I were to discuss any of this with anyone in person, I'm sure the cries of "get over yourself" would be deafaning. In which case I would need a pair of earplugs, because this is just the way it is for me.

This is absolutely outstanding, Spare.... so wonderfully written. I couldn't agree more. Go Spare!!!!

 

[Estreen]

22 and still a virgin, although pretty much by choice. There's been a few times that I've thought about seriously trying for it, but I'm still kinda holding off 'til marriage, although I'm open to it beforehand, with my current bf of ~5 years. My bf isn't in any rush I guess, so it's alright I guess.

 

[Naval_Fluff]

I dunno but I'm waiting till marraige...Too many complications. I plan to marry young tho

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Whatever vaules , morals and standard you want to live by.

Just know..Are you actaully doing it becuase you're trying to live up to your expectations
or other's expectations? Ask this simple question.

A person shouldn't be pressure to have sex or to not to have sex.
You're an adult. You can make your own descision.

It's the same as your parents or society wanting you to join the military to fight a war
that you do not belive in. Or forced you to join a group such as a religion or types of
faith.

Or take over a family bussiness to become a millionair...if you wish not to
run a family bussiness...then plenty of guilt and shame will be thrown at you simply
becuase you do not wish to live or walk in father's shoe or comformed to whatever
others want.

Sex is not a dirty thing. It never was. It's what you think it is.

As the OP stated.. You enjoy sex becuase it's the most natural thing in the world that you're
body wants. Most men reach their sexaul peek or prime in thier early 20's.

I've never been with a virgin in my entired life. I never thought those women were
the scums of the earth or the dregs of society nor less deserving of god's love.

Besides..after I got into a relationship. I'll go without sex for months.lol

mmm..training wheels are good.

 

[Lebowski]

turned 20 a few weeks ago and it is safe to say thiat i am here to stay. the lack of sex itself doesnt kill me because i guess ive never done it but the thought that i have little chance of ever fixing my situation is so painful that i am sitting on a computer at 3a.m. googling "how to overcome shyness" and "how to make friends"

 

[Brian]

I consider myself still a virgin. Having had sex with one girl, I think I have about as much experience as I did when all I did was sit and watch porn. Frankly, I still feel just as depressed and lonely, if not more so. I havent actually gotten anywhere.

But big pro tip, for when that first time DOES happen: Buy 'extended performance' condoms. The kind with a numbing agent. This is my plan for any future encounters I might have...it'll make up for that lack of experience a bit by letting us at least last longer.

 

[Jesse]

I'm 22 and not a virgin. I can count the amount of times I've had sex on one hand. I think it's worst when you experience it for the first time for a few times and then you don't for a long time. Because then you know what you're missing. I don't mean just sex, but you know everything. The feeling of being needed, of being loved, the lack of lonliness.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'm going to join your club! :3

Wow I never realized how many people were "holding out". I thought I was totally alone! . This thread actually made me feel better n_____n

I am seriously considering waiting until marriage on the sex-thing. I guess the only thing that holds me that is the "what if i go batshit" possibility if I meet someone I really really like. Once you say "i'm waiting for marriage" if you break that, I feel like people dont take you seriously anymore.

Heck I know of a site where I could get sex *snap* like that if I wanted to. A swinger site. But i've chosen not to, partly for fear of Ax-Wielding Psychos and partly because I feel as though it'd tear me up inside if I did it with a complete stranger.

I guess i'm emotionally sensitive or something <_<.

A 180 degree spin of randomness:

You guys do realize there's such a thing as a involuntary celibacy forum right? Its called Incel Support...or Incel Forum. Something like that, i have to look through my favorites on my laptop at home to provide the link.

I think i remember posts on that forum about sex therapists having sex with 50 year old virgins....I dont know if i should be amused by that memory or not .

 

[Jesse]

Yeah for research purposes I'm thinking I'm gonna need the link to that site...

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Yeah for research purposes I'm thinking I'm gonna need the link to that site...

Incel forums

 

[Jesse]

Heh thanks. For all those who are still virgins, don't let it bother you. I always wished I would only be with one person. I thought I had met the right one; I was sure of it. I thought I'd never be with anyone else and so I lost my virginity to her. Well that relationship didn't work out. It definately hurt. I wish I could take it back, but now it's like, I'm already damaged goods. I might as well not worry about it anymore as long as I'm safe and clean. Still, I think it's best if you're in love with the person.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Yeah for research purposes I'm thinking I'm gonna need the link to that site...

Incel forums

Yep thats the forum i have in my favorites. Way to go Cheaptrickfan!

 

[Lebowski]

anyone else get the feeling that you are letting down your family by showing no promise of future grand children. i fell so weird yippedy...so so very weird.

 

[Spare]

anyone else get the feeling that you are letting down your family by showing no promise of future grand children. i fell so weird yippedy...so so very weird.

I feel this way all the time. My family never mentions it, though, which I appreciate greatly.