I’m proud to be a virgin

[TheSkaFish]

Thanks. Hey I see you in the mental health forum too with the name TheSkaFish.

That's my name, don't wear it out

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'd say all of you who are virgins are proud. Too proud to go out and do something about it. Which means that it likely means more to you than just getting a quick roll in the hay from whoever. That says something. Any one of you could end your virginity at any time. You choose not to, which means you're not as ashamed of it as you make it out to be.
I'm sure someone will come in complaining that I said this, but if you REALLY think about it, it's true.

Good on you, OP.

 

[ardour]

I'd say all of you who are virgins are proud. Too proud to go out and do something about it. Which means that it likely means more to you than just getting a quick roll in the hay from whoever. That says something. Any one of you could end your virginity at any time. You choose not to, which means you're not as ashamed of it as you make it out to be.
I'm sure someone will come in complaining that I said this, but if you REALLY think about it, it's true.

Good on you, OP.

Ah yes, the swimming in attention / full inbox perspective. What a cult classic.

 

[Unsigned]

The upside of being a virgin is not worrying about STDs and not worrying about child support and alimony how some non virgins have to worry about all those stuff.

This is true.
It is good to avoid those things.
I've had a lot of problems because of the way I live my life.

But...if you met one girl and were monogamous with her and had total trust with each other, you would not have the problems you mentioned.
Honestly it seems to me to be the ideal way to live - monogamy.
But then again I am idealizing something that I have never had.
I see couples arguing, putting each other down, and just generally making each other miserable all the time.
So who knows?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'd say all of you who are virgins are proud. Too proud to go out and do something about it. Which means that it likely means more to you than just getting a quick roll in the hay from whoever. That says something. Any one of you could end your virginity at any time. You choose not to, which means you're not as ashamed of it as you make it out to be.
I'm sure someone will come in complaining that I said this, but if you REALLY think about it, it's true.

Good on you, OP.

I have thought about it, and I think I kind of get what you mean. You're not wrong.

I do think it's still a complicated issue but I also wanted to voice my support because I feel you get a lot of grief on here and it can really wear a person down.

 

[insecure]

The upside of being a virgin is not worrying about STDs and not worrying about child support and alimony how some non virgins have to worry about all those stuff.

This seems similar to saying "Because I'm practically starving, I don't have to worry about food poisoning, calory counting and being fat shamed."
If being a virgin has that many benefits, then why do you say you are unhappy for being a virgin?
Or does loneliness mean happiness to you?

 

[ardour]

This seems similar to saying "Because I'm practically starving, I don't have to worry about food poisoning, calory counting and being fat shamed."
If being a virgin has that many benefits, then why do you say you are unhappy for being a virgin?
Or does loneliness mean happiness to you?

It's a cope. Most people don't contract STIs or have unplanned children.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's a cope. Most people don't contract STIs or have unplanned children.

You sure? Because 1 in 5 people have genital herpes. That seems like a lot to me.
Also, the FEAR of those two things can be just as of a deterrent.

I don't really see the problem here though. So what if he's proud to be a virgin. Has anyone asked him if he even WANTS to have sex? Perhaps he's asexual or something else. Does it really matter if someone is proud of this? You guys are ashamed of it, he's not. You are both entitled to feel however you want to feel.

 

[ardour]

You sure? Because 1 in 5 people have genital herpes. That seems like a lot to me.
Also, the FEAR of those two things can be just as of a deterrent.

I don't really see the problem here though. So what if he's proud to be a virgin. Has anyone asked him if he even WANTS to have sex? Perhaps he's asexual or something else. Does it really matter if someone is proud of this? You guys are ashamed of it, he's not. You are both entitled to feel however you want to feel.

If he were really okay with it he wouldn't be on here saying it. He would just get on with his life. You don't hear asexual people telling others how proud they are.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If he were really okay with it he wouldn't be on here saying it. He would just get on with his life. You don't hear asexual people telling others how proud they are.

I'm not so sure about that. Someone coming to a forum and they see a crap ton of negativity about being a virgin and incels and all that stuff. Maybe he wanted to say that there's another way. That you don't have to hate it. Maybe he wanted others to know that they don't have to be ashamed of it.

I don't personally feel any of you should be ashamed of it. Sex is not the end all be all of life. There are other things that are more important. So no, I see nothing wrong with someone being a virgin, regardless of their age.

 

[ardour]

I'm not so sure about that. Someone coming to a forum and they see a crap ton of negativity about being a virgin and incels and all that stuff. Maybe he wanted to say that there's another way. That you don't have to hate it. Maybe he wanted others to know that they don't have to be ashamed of it.

I don't personally feel any of you should be ashamed of it. Sex is not the end all be all of life. There are other things that are more important. So no, I see nothing wrong with someone being a virgin, regardless of their age.

Maybe, or maybe's he just trying to convince himself.

It's less to do with shame and more about missed experiences and lacking compelling reasons to be alive.

 

[okidoke]

or maybe's he just trying to convince himself.

I’d say that’s the way for a lot of people, but you could say it’s a coping mechanism.

But y’know Ardour, in a similar vain, you’re assuming you would like a certain situation that you’ve not experienced possibly based on how you’ve seen other people enjoy such situations, but it’s quite possible that once you’re experiencing it, you might not like it at all.

Too often we assume too much.