I Hate Being Me

[TheRealCallie]

Next, and people get very defensive when I say this: I don't know if anyone can really empathize if they've never experienced gender dysphoria. Cis people in particular get defensive because they want to think of themselves as inherently empathetic and open-minded (especially well-meaning liberals lol) but the truth is that empathy can only come from experience. It tells me they're more interested in virtue signaling than in actually understanding.

They may not have experienced GENDER dysphoria, but that doesn't mean they don't know some other type of dysphoria. So they can't relate EXACTLY to you, but honestly, can other trans people? Everyone thinks and reacts differently to different things, so only YOU can know EXACTLY what you are feeling. That doesn't necessarily mean we can't relate in a general way.

 

[user 115627]

Now I'll never know what was being said here, but I'll assume my questions and statements were also deficient and unsatisfactory.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't really like being me that much either, to be honest. Although of course, it's for different reasons.

I hate how exhausting my life is. I hate how late I am: ...to go to school, to find myself. It's so hard, and I'm so tired.

This part, I feel like I can relate to.
I may not know anything about transitioning, other than it must be a uniquely difficult situation that few people really "get", which only makes it harder.
But, I do get being late to find myself and figure out where I belong in the world and not knowing who I am and feeling like I don't really belong anywhere. And I feel like my life is exhausting and hard in its own way.

 

[user 176211]

I can't turn off my transness. It's not like saying "I identify as a gamer" or something. It's visible, everywhere I go. It's like telling a person of color "have you thought about not being black?" It's not invisible. It's not something I can hide. It's not some ephemeral quirk of personality that I can decide to ignore one day when it's convenient.

I know your intentions for posting were good, but this is something we hear from people who have never had their core self constantly devaluated and denied. "Lmao just stop being trans like, come on."

It defines every interaction that I have. I wish I could turn off my transness. The "ME I need to be" is a woman. I can't turn that off. It's not a self-assessment like intelligence or well-spokenness, and it's certainly not an "imperfection."

The rest of your post, like, I'm not sure what you're getting at. Are you comparing me to a palm oil farm?

I do not think that most people are telling anyone in the trans community to zone out of being who they are. But why can´t trans people just... BE trans people? Like I am a hetero male. I do not feel the need to centralize my life and identity around asking people to recognize my hetero-ness. I can say that I am a persecuted class, right? Because If I do recognize the fact that I am a straight male, I´ll get called ¨Cis Scum¨ or any other number of meaningless platitudes that people came up with to ¨fight back¨ some invisible war that is not actually happening between genders.

Instead, my gender/sexuality is something that I am secure with, and I have zero expectation that everyone has to participate in my identity. I know PLENTY of trans people, and its not the basis and central focal point of our acquaintance. We talk about things that matter, like who has the best nachos, or we go out and get beer. We play video games and watch movies. We talk about relationships and family and work. My trans friends don´t expect me to throw a recognition parade for them everyday. Nor are they persecuted in any way. They go to work, and have families, and have hobbies.

And if that is something that people feel that isn´t enough to be integrated in everyday life with other Trans and non-trans people, maybe its not the world that is the problem. Maybe anyone who feels that way should introspect a little more and try to find happiness and acceptance within themselves. Because the world never has and will never stop being a cold, hard, loud, and fast place. There is never going to be a specific date where the world ¨turns over¨ and becomes Acceptance Land. It will continue to be a dog eat dog place just like it has since the dawn of mankind.

I hope that EVERYONE can find the peace and acceptance within themselves that is needed to be able to recognize the peace and acceptance of the world in the moments that it presents itself.