I know this girl...

[IgnoredOne]

I really know what you mean! That's exactly why I choose not to. She is a really nice person, and I wouldn't want her to feel like that because of me. Maybe I have a crush on her. haha don't tell.

Oh, I thought that I should mention that there is a certain cultural difference, too, which is why anime makes note of lifelong friends more. My father from Taiwan keeps his grade-school friends and sometimes I don't quite comprehend how, but evidently having had to spend every year of their life and then into high school with the same people, and then often into college has that effect.

But of course, we could have such periods of time spend with people, yet somehow in our culture, that kind of loyalty just isn't as common? I wonder why.

 

[joeha]

I really don't want to get rejected!

---

I really know what you mean! That's exactly why I choose not to. She is a really nice person, and I wouldn't want her to feel like that because of me. Maybe I have a crush on her. haha don't tell.

Oh, I thought that I should mention that there is a certain cultural difference, too, which is why anime makes note of lifelong friends more. My father from Taiwan keeps his grade-school friends and sometimes I don't quite comprehend how, but evidently having had to spend every year of their life and then into high school with the same people, and then often into college has that effect.

But of course, we could have such periods of time spend with people, yet somehow in our culture, that kind of loyalty just isn't as common? I wonder why.

True. I've noticed from anime that the meaning of friend is a little different in Japan. I'd like to go there one day.

 

[LoneKiller]

Your right, and I have to tell her sometime no matter what. Now maybe I wont be afraid of the walk from my apartment to my car. haha. I've been thinking a lot tonight, and sometime since I've been hermiting I've lost the ability to socialize. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward guy now. I think being sociable is a lot like a fire, or something you have to keep adding fuel to or else it goes out. You ever notice how during times when you have to be more sociable for what ever reason work, school ect. it just comes naturally in general. It really is just an acquired skill.

Like riding a bike. You'll pick it up soon enough again.

Why, might I ask, the desire to entirely avoid 'normal' life? I put that in quotes since normalcy is such a vague and often difficult area to define.

I think people are ****. One time I went to the hospital and stayed there a little more than a year. After I got out I had to make all new friends, I never existed. When I stopped believing in god my church friends I had so many good times with avoided me like the plaque, When I stopped going to school everyone ditched me, my friends started ignoring me, my family made fun of me. I started being alone and just watching anime and found a new happiness. It's the happiness of not having to prove yourself, of having no standard, of being free to slack off and do what your really want to do, it's the nobility of living as the only person alive. I don't want to get ditched again. I don't want to send text that don't get replies, I don't want to pass by old friends on the street and see the top of their heads because they're looking at the ground to avoid me. I HATE how I can be the most popular guy ever one year and then be some sorry loser the next. I hate seeing movies and reading books about life long friends and star cr4ossed lovers, when I cant find even one person who will stick by me during the hard times. most of all I hate how good I am at making friends only to end up alone every time because of something I cant help. I think people are ****. I love dogs tho.

---

Please don't take this the wrong way joeha, I don't mean to sound nosy, but that night when you and her shared a few drinks, did you sleep with her?

No. I could see that look in her eyes that she wanted to, but I was planning on ditching her at the time and I didn't want to make her sad later on. Instead We played poker. It was a lame suggestion at the time, but I think we both ended up having a better time because of it.

---

Dont worry dude.
Chicks told me they went out
on a date with their dorky neighbour
Cause they djdnt know WTF they were
doing at the time...
Women talk their heads off on dates
Or in bed.

No one cares what you think.

I've been on plenty of dates and had ladies in my bed. The things they told you all depend on the situation.

---

---

The reason I asked is because even after casual sex has taken place, some wake up the next morning with feelings, and can be very hurt
if you don't feel the same way.

---

---

I really know what you mean! That's exactly why I choose not to. She is a really nice person, and I wouldn't want her to feel like that because of me. Maybe I have a crush on her. haha don't tell.

---

---

I admire your self control. I know how strong that kind of urge is. That reminds me of a joke.

Why did the man give a name to his penis?
Answer: Because he didn't want a stranger making most of his decisions.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I really don't want to get rejected!

---

---

Well, she wanted to sleep with you, so I don't think she's looking to reject you

If she does, though, you can rest assured that she's probably bipolar and you're doing well not to have her craziness. And you now have an awesome excuse to be a bitter hermit, complete with your dramatic story of woe. NOTHING CAN FAIL.

 

[joeha]

Like riding a bike. You'll pick it up soon enough again.

Why, might I ask, the desire to entirely avoid 'normal' life? I put that in quotes since normalcy is such a vague and often difficult area to define.

I think people are ****. One time I went to the hospital and stayed there a little more than a year. After I got out I had to make all new friends, I never existed. When I stopped believing in god my church friends I had so many good times with avoided me like the plaque, When I stopped going to school everyone ditched me, my friends started ignoring me, my family made fun of me. I started being alone and just watching anime and found a new happiness. It's the happiness of not having to prove yourself, of having no standard, of being free to slack off and do what your really want to do, it's the nobility of living as the only person alive. I don't want to get ditched again. I don't want to send text that don't get replies, I don't want to pass by old friends on the street and see the top of their heads because they're looking at the ground to avoid me. I HATE how I can be the most popular guy ever one year and then be some sorry loser the next. I hate seeing movies and reading books about life long friends and star cr4ossed lovers, when I cant find even one person who will stick by me during the hard times. most of all I hate how good I am at making friends only to end up alone every time because of something I cant help. I think people are ****. I love dogs tho.

---

Please don't take this the wrong way joeha, I don't mean to sound nosy, but that night when you and her shared a few drinks, did you sleep with her?

No. I could see that look in her eyes that she wanted to, but I was planning on ditching her at the time and I didn't want to make her sad later on. Instead We played poker. It was a lame suggestion at the time, but I think we both ended up having a better time because of it.

---

No one cares what you think.

I've been on plenty of dates and had ladies in my bed. The things they told you all depend on the situation.

---

---

The reason I asked is because even after casual sex has taken place, some wake up the next morning with feelings, and can be very hurt
if you don't feel the same way.

---

---

I really know what you mean! That's exactly why I choose not to. She is a really nice person, and I wouldn't want her to feel like that because of me. Maybe I have a crush on her. haha don't tell.

---

---

I admire your self control. I know how strong that kind of urge is. That reminds me of a joke.

Why did the man give a name to his penis?
Answer: Because he didn't want a stranger making most of his decisions.

---

---

lol so true.

---

I really don't want to get rejected!

---

---

Well, she wanted to sleep with you, so I don't think she's looking to reject you

If she does, though, you can rest assured that she's probably bipolar and you're doing well not to have her craziness. And you now have an awesome excuse to be a bitter hermit, complete with your dramatic story of woe. NOTHING CAN FAIL.

---

All females are Bipolar! Anyway I still have things to hide. I guess none of it's that bad. It's just really weird for me. I haven't been in this stage of a relationship for I while I don't know how to act around girls my age. Just Japaneses college girls, and high school girls.

---

I work in 6 hours so I should get to bed. I hope to talk to you guys later today. If not, I really hope we can talk tomorrow cause I'm going out with her, and I will need to talk to someone first. I really don't have anyone else to talk with about this.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Good points. I know I might have sounded pretty stupid... This is the most exciting thing that happened to me in a while. Thursday I will go to the festival, and then I will see how that goes and tell you guys about it if you want to hear about it. OK.. One big problem. I lied and said I still go to msu. I don't go to school anywhere now! I don't know what I'm going do about that. If someone lied to you about that, then told you the truth would you hate them? I did it just to keep conversation rolling, but she will just think I said it to look cool. I have to tell her sometime, but I don't know how to do it. That's actually the biggest problem of all.

You could tell her that it hasn't been that long since you dropped out and that you're still in the habit of presenting yourself as a student.

You shouldn't really be ashamed of it though, there's a lot of people who drop out for many good reasons. You're also very young, so in case you'd ever want to go back, you still have plenty of time to do so. I'm sure she'll understand that, and if she doesn't then she's a friend not worth having.

Anyhow, good luck with your girl

 

[joeha]

It didn't work out. I wish I could drink more. Oh wait I will.

 

[Hoffy]

What happened?

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Without wishing to cause offence Joeha, your first post makes it sound a bit like you're wallowing in your lonely state of affairs. I think someone needs to definitively tell you that.

Pushing people away when they try to engage with you and locking yourself on your own will bring about a negative cycle. You will gain no confidence because you're doing nothing to improve that confidence in the first place.

You say you didn't feel good enough for that girl - is staying in your place watching anime going to help you break out of that? I don't think so, personally.

Get the drive to improve yourself. Focus on reality and lessen your escape into fiction. This is also a big issue that I struggle with...it isn't easy.

Anyway, I am sorry it apparently didn't go anywhere with that girl. You tried though, and that makes a big difference. Don't beat yourself up over that

I'd be interested in hearing what happened exactly.

Also, as Peter said, don't be hard on yourself for dropping out. You sound like a decent guy who just needs a bit of direction in his life.

 

[Nolife Princess]

[/quote]
I completely understand exactly what you are talking about! completely!
For most part I am a happy fool! but when I am on my lows/downs.. I simply do not want to talk or be around anyone! that means my neighbors, family, clerks (in the shops) and everybody else! my family pretty much understands me and just leaves me alone, as my friends... but I don't tell my neighbors and they wanna talk to me, wave and smile and be friendly and ask me stuff and bla bla bla.. and I just don't wanna, I find myself slipping out my back entrance to avoid talking/waving or anything with them

I cant offer advice because I am in the same boat.
But if you want to keep your distance with out hurting her feelings.... then keep it short, sweet and simple (when she is trying to talk to you-- Hi there, nice to see you, ok take care I'm ina hurry.. bye bye.. that sorta thing, after you do that a few times she will get that you are busy and really don't have time for small talk/play.

Hugs

 

[Felix]

You obviously care about her... otherwise you would have told her to go away or just ignored her.

I think you have your priorities messed up. You should care more about the real world that about anime series and forums. Those things don't really matter on a long term, they might bring some sense of relief or acomplishment but is not a real life. I have a friend like that, a girl who always buys gashapons, figures, toys not to mention tons of comics and videogames... and she's a virgin. Those things are obviously filling a void for her. But is like going through a wrong path, who eventually gets you even more far a way from your goal. Don't get me wrong, I like comics and anime but you shouldn't make that the center of your life.

I'd say you try to go out there a bit more, connect with the world and value people who are nice to you cuz you ain't gonna find many of those. You will have bad experiences like eveyone else, but is better than having none at all. At least thats my opinion

 

[Nessie]

How very ironic.

I recommend setting your boundaries OP.