Im 20 and never had a girlfriend in my life. Is this bad?

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I'm in the same boat as most people who've posted in this thread. I'm in my twenties, and haven't been shown an inkling of affection from the opposite sex. However, I'm gonna go on a completely different tangent here.

I can't help but sigh when people tell me that it's never too late. The truth of the matter is that it was already too late for me since high school. I'm of the opinion that our path through high school dictates the sort of person we become for the rest of our lives. If we were never given the chance to dabble in our romantic attractions to the opposite sex in high school-a time when everyone was clueless and curious, then it becomes impossible in our adult lives, where everyone else has matured in that aspect and expect their potential partner to have done the same(even more so for males, coz traditionally it's the male that has to make the first move).

So, considering this, I've accepted my fate, as it is, and have decided to bury myself in my hobbies and my online social life. Besides, on top of all my other issues, I came across an article which proves it's numericly impossible for me to find someone anyways...

http://en.nothingisreal.com/wiki/Why_I_Will_Never_Have_a_Girlfriend
 
I know how you feel, im 19 and i have never had a RL boyfriend before : ( i always wanted to know what it was like, but i just never really met anyone i had a lot in common with or that i could really have a good time talking to. i really want a relationship, but i dont want it to end in ruin
 
I'm in my twenties and i've never had a girlfriend/fling/date. From where i come from, people are more conservative but still it feels kinda weird not to have any of those experiences at this stage of my life. It's been a blur so far, and being alone makes me wonder what will happen to me in the future.
 
20 year old guy

Never had any female friends growing up, because I was too shy to interact with them, which has now ****** me over completely.

Still a virgin

Never had a girlfriend

Never had a date

No kiss, no interaction, no touching

Don't know how to talk to girls

Been a loner for 5 years, all alone, NO friends. Nowhere to go. None. Zip. Zilch. I am broke, never had a job. Dropped out of high school when I was 16 and got a GED. Struggling to get into junior college. I can't remember a day where I was truly truly happy. My inner self has been in complete darkness and dissapointment for 5 years and counting. Needless to say, SUICIDE is kept neatly and ready in the corner of my mind. Even though I know if I ever killed myself there is a possibility of me going to hell for eternity for turning my back on the life that was given to me by God and Jesus. All I can say is, I refuse to live life alone, and in loneliness. It's eating away at me like a virus. Living life, without a real life? I won't do it. Some people tell me I should just wait things out and see what happens. Then people mumble and shrug at what I tell them, but believe me, I really wish I was dead. People tell me I am "handsome" and attractive but when you live a ****** life nothing else matters. I consider myself a walking time bomb, which means the possibility of me taking my own life even for reasons some people might call "stupid" (but they aren't to me) could happen at about anytime, but probably not now. I want death sometimes but I fear the process of dying. I don't know what the future holds but at least I can escape, albeit permanently.

 
Hey , I'm new to the forum and let me start by saying sorry for digging up old threads but it just seemed the most appropriate place to post.

I'll be 20 this year and I'm pretty much in the same bucket as most of the people in this thread , never had a girlfriend.

I'm not one to express these sort of things and I'm pretty sure I won't feel to good about myself for saying this tommorow. I'll keep my story short , only ever been in love once , we were good friends and when I told her I obviously got friend zoned than had to go through the experience of seeing her with some prick (worst night of my life).Been in love with her since I was 14 and I guess I still am but I'm trying to keep as little contact with her as I can because she made it clear that nothing will ever happen. Only have one friend and I'm not sure it counts because we only talk online and he lives pretty far from where I do.

I have low self esteem , don't like myself very much (at all actually) and I never think good of myself , I'm not social at all , don't hang around people too much but when I do I try not to seem too pathetic. Only thing that keeps me going is music which I love and is the best thing about my life and the thought that you never know what tommorow brings.

Sorry again for digging up old posts , best wishes to everyone.
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
Well... I didn't want to be into the whole feeling sorry for myself thing again, but maybe I need to express this.

I am 20 yrs old and I have never had a girlfriend. Most women on this planet seem to dislike me :(. I have experienced cruelty from women since grade school and it still happens occasionally... mostly in comes in rude remarks or basic body language.

I'm a shy person, which doesn't help and I have no luck. All my friends, two of which i believe are as shy as I, have had unbelievable luck.. women seemed to come to them. Besides there just doesn't seem to be anybody who is for me out there.

Its okay I've never had a bf..
 
Code S.O.L said:
So, considering this, I've accepted my fate, as it is, and have decided to bury myself in my hobbies and my online social life. Besides, on top of all my other issues, I came across an article which proves it's numericly impossible for me to find someone anyways...

http://en.nothingisreal.com/wiki/Why_I_Will_Never_Have_a_Girlfriend
You mean statistically improbable. Not impossible.
 
I've never had a girlfriend and I'm in my 30s, but I wasn't aware there was a requirement on when I'm suppose to get one. I've spent the beginning part of my life to focus on schooling and then building on my career (er... job now).

In high school I thought by my mid 20s I was going to have a job, wife and children, but things just do not always work out that way. I believe I had opportunities in the past, but I do not believe I'm too late either. 20s is still so young and I don't think people should put so much emphasis on losing their virginity either. I'm looking for love and not a conquest.
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
Well... I didn't want to be into the whole feeling sorry for myself thing again, but maybe I need to express this.

I am 20 yrs old and I have never had a girlfriend. Most women on this planet seem to dislike me :(. I have experienced cruelty from women since grade school and it still happens occasionally... mostly in comes in rude remarks or basic body language.

I'm a shy person, which doesn't help and I have no luck. All my friends, two of which i believe are as shy as I, have had unbelievable luck.. women seemed to come to them. Besides there just doesn't seem to be anybody who is for me out there.

dont feel bad im 23 cant talk to girls i felt like i never had a gf. i didnt like the girls i dated wasnt happy. its been since 2008. i know when i do talk to girls they say im sweet etc. but i cant go from there theres something holding me back. this has happened with 1 girl i actually liked. but i kept holding back. i dont have a social life. i dont talk to anyone at all, i stay home all the time. i dont have my license so i cant go anywhere. i stay home at 4th of july festivals etc. i dont talk to the ppl i was friends with in high school anymore. i dont even see them. girls wont even talk to me, in school they was mean basically how u described the girls was to you. they say mean things to you etc. 1 time some of the popular girls wanted me to come over to their table at lunch and i didnt. i cant talk to girls, i couldnt even go to their table at lunch. i just want to find a decent girl who is nice, sweet, fun, outgoing, random, crazy, spontanious, respecting, someone who dosent judge someone bc of the way they look, caring etc.:club:
 
tennisgirl said:
I'm 21 and never had a boyf :( I'd love to meet someone special but I don't really go anywhere to meet new people so not sure how it's going to happen. I'm kind of scared now that if I do ever meet someone.. and this is a very big IF, I'm worried I'll scare them off because I've no relationship experience etc. Also, I'm not exactly a super-confident kind of girl which I guess most guys don't like :(. Whenever I see cute couples holding hands and kissing and stuff, I always get so "ahhhhhhhhhhh, I want that" :( Guess I'll just keep on dreaming.


What do u have to lose, YOU ARE A GIRL!!!!! If a guy goes up to you and starts a small talk with you, respond back and carry it on with the dude. For instance, I used to be shy around girls. To get around it, I hanged out with various types of girls, atheletic, nerdy, preety rich girls, fat girls etc.(thanks to my foirst year roomate, he made me hang out and flirt with his friends who are girls, french girls to be precise, I went to University of Ottawa, thx MATT!!!!) and by that i got more comfortable with them. So just hang out with guys, get to know what they like and you'll see for yourself :)
 
I'll be 21 here in 2 months. I've been with 3 women in my life. The first one, we only had sex twice, and we never were friends or anything in the first place. The second one, we ****** the day we met, but we kept seeing each other for like a month. That ended with this weird thing where I would be gone and she would call for me, and this happened 5 times, so she stopped calling. i figure she thought I was avoiding her. I couldn't call her cause she was living with her parents at a campground and calling from a payphone. I figure it was fate... we had a good sexual relationship, and we were learning a lot about each other, but we just didn't have enough time. Shes the only girl I've really gotten to know sexually.

After that I had sex with a 37 year old woman when I was 17 for 2 nights. She was the same age as my mom, and it was weird for me.

Since then, I haven't gotten laid in 3 1/2 years. Every year reminds me that the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to change it. I'm a little different around girls. I love to be friends with them, but i have a hard time being assertive when it comes to flirting with them. So they kinda pick up on my unease and have been staying away.

So just to let you know, even with your virginity lost and a bit of experience, if you got issues, you got issues. I know I do.
 
Codyjm said:
I'll be 21 here in 2 months. I've been with 3 women in my life. The first one, we only had sex twice, and we never were friends or anything in the first place. The second one, we ****** the day we met, but we kept seeing each other for like a month. That ended with this weird thing where I would be gone and she would call for me, and this happened 5 times, so she stopped calling. i figure she thought I was avoiding her. I couldn't call her cause she was living with her parents at a campground and calling from a payphone. I figure it was fate... we had a good sexual relationship, and we were learning a lot about each other, but we just didn't have enough time. Shes the only girl I've really gotten to know sexually.

After that I had sex with a 37 year old woman when I was 17 for 2 nights. She was the same age as my mom, and it was weird for me.

Since then, I haven't gotten laid in 3 1/2 years. Every year reminds me that the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to change it. I'm a little different around girls. I love to be friends with them, but i have a hard time being assertive when it comes to flirting with them. So they kinda pick up on my unease and have been staying away.

So just to let you know, even with your virginity lost and a bit of experience, if you got issues, you got issues. I know I do.

well 1st off in the bible it says fornication (sex b4 marriage) is a sin. so really ppl should wait til marriage
 
fortasse said:
You mean statistically improbable. Not impossible.

Well, when you consider the numbers he's talking, it may as well be impossible.

Also, really suprised that Socrates hasn't come here preaching bulk n cut like he does in other threads.

 
Well,one of the guys considered one of the best PUAs in the world only had two girlfriends until age 25 and was virgin till then. So yeah,no problem there.
 
i'm now 31 and never had a gf or even been on a date, i am attractive just never had the opportunity or been approached by a lot of girls, but i;m perfectly fine with it, as long as i'm rich and good looking i dont care about girls. so don;t let them get you down. theres more to life than girls.
 
HI, so after yet another failed attempt at talking to a girl i totally lost it and went online to google if someone had the same problem as me... so thats why im here..

All my life ive been a shy person and bad at talking to girls but during my gradeschool i hanged out with them alot, i even had my first makeout session back than (altho it was in 3rd or 4th grade lol) and i almost had a relationship in 8th grade (the girl was using me and went for another guy)

Today im 23 and havent had a single female friend, girlfriend, not even a date with a girl since 8th grade.

Im an outgoing person, athletic and fun yet girls dont seem to show me any attention AT ALL, they dont even try to talk to me, approach me and if they do look at me its just like they look right past me/through me..... wtf.

I think im just one of those unlucky guys because when i do manage to finally get a interesting girl to talk to me (happens maybe 1x a year) it turns out she already has a boyfriend and that ends at that. Often when i see a girl and set my eyes on her i notice she has a boyfriend even before i can start talking to her.

Thats just one part of the problem tho, for me personally, from the moment i start talking to a girl and until i feel totally comfortable around her i just get so nervous and dont know what the hell to talk about and what to say next - ive tried countless things all from being myself, someone else, confident, funny nothing seems to help my situation.

Im sick and tired of seeing couples holding hands, kissing/making out, having a nice talk infront of me. - sorry for that i just HAD TO VENT :)
 
I can definitely relate to feeling jealous when seeing other couples holding hands, in love, and dining at restaurants. It's always been something that I've felt I would never have (something only reserved for other more social competent people), but deep down, perhaps I would like that closeness with the female species.

Personally, I have never had a girlfriend my entire life (I'm almost 27). In fact, the only girls I was even friends with at all were in elementary school. I have never been interested in men either (in case you were wondering).

Most of my interactions with women will be at work or at the store where they will talk to me with indifference, pity, or contempt. The few girls that I do connect with (online) already have boyfriends/husbands/kids (especially at my age), so finding a serious girlfriend at my age just feels like a lost cause.

I probably have some disorder though (aspergers/social anxiety). I don't leave my house unless it's to go to work, go on long walks by myself, or to do grocery shopping. I guess I feel safe and comfortable alone but at the same time, sometimes wish I had a cute girlfriend. But I don't think that will happen because I am a 26 year old "sex/kiss/hug/holding hands virgin" who is painfully shy. I'll likely just continue *******, as I have for almost 27 years. ^^;
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
Well... I didn't want to be into the whole feeling sorry for myself thing again, but maybe I need to express this.

I am 20 yrs old and I have never had a girlfriend. Most women on this planet seem to dislike me :(. I have experienced cruelty from women since grade school and it still happens occasionally... mostly in comes in rude remarks or basic body language.

I'm a shy person, which doesn't help and I have no luck. All my friends, two of which i believe are as shy as I, have had unbelievable luck.. women seemed to come to them. Besides there just doesn't seem to be anybody who is for me out there.

I also never had a Gf. Iam 27 / virgin...How about that ?
 
faven said:
I think im just one of those unlucky guys because when i do manage to finally get a interesting girl to talk to me (happens maybe 1x a year) it turns out she already has a boyfriend and that ends at that. Often when i see a girl and set my eyes on her i notice she has a boyfriend even before i can start talking to her.

...

Im sick and tired of seeing couples holding hands, kissing/making out, having a nice talk infront of me. - sorry for that i just HAD TO VENT :)

I know the feeling man. Especially that last bit. It's like you're dying of starvation, but everyone is unknowingly dangling prime fillet steak in front of you :rolleyes:

I was on a day trip out the other day, finally happy that I could just do something fun without thinking about my singleness. Sat on a bench at a museum exhibit, this couple pretty much exactly my age (a guy much more handsome than me and a very sweet girl) just came in and sat literally right next to me on the same bench.

They then proceeded to snuggle up and kiss one another for like 10 minutes until I left the room. Epic sigh :(

I think it has a lot to do with luck. I seem to be the same in that I attract females who seem to send a bunch of signals then suddenly decide that they're too busy for a relationship or something, or girls that already have BFs and so on.

To be honest, sometimes I feel like giving it all up and just living in a shack in a forest somewhere. Or maybe underneath a bridge, preying on unwary goats for food :D
 

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