I'm good thanks.

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

So here is a little something that I have often pondered to myself. If someone asked you as part of a greeting for example, "Oh hello, how are you?" and your response is a positive one, such as "I'm good thanks, You?" do you find that the line of questioning ends there or that they continue and asked why it is you are good?

Do you find that if you were to respond in a negative way with "I'm feed up", "I'm a bit down", "I'm unhappy" or something similar, how ever you may respond, that they go on to question why that is?

Is responding in a positive way just a means of covering it up when you don't really want to talk about it as you know they are not going to ask why you are good?

 

[user 188685]

I think you should tell them how you are really feeling.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

I think you should tell them how you are really feeling.

The people that I am closer too and feel comfortable telling (and of course if the environment is right) I do. It was just an observation that people never seem to question a positive answer to that question, yet question a negative one. I am not saying that a good thing or a bad thing, I guess that it's only a good thing that they question the negative. Just wondering if anyone else finds this, or if its just the circle of people around me that seem to do this.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I never say I'm good. I'll usually say something like "I'm still kicking" or "I'm still alive" Which are both true.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Is responding in a positive way just a means of covering it up when you don't really want to talk about it as you know they are not going to ask why you are good?

I have found that when most people ask how you are, they don't really want to know, it's just the "polite" thing to say. Rarely does someone want a truthful answer to that questions if you aren't close to them.

 

[Finished]

Someone not close to you asking how you are is just a way to get your attention before they drone on about themselves.

But, yeah the ones that sort of care seemed troubled if you answer negatively. If you say good or fine they seem pacified.

I know if I accidentally blurt out IRL, how are you? I sure hope the hell they give me a quick one word answer so I can more easily leave the scene.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I mean… if its my girls i’d usually say something cheeky like “oh yeah, who or what has you feeling so good?” And if its just someone I barely know, I ask more basic questions like “so works well and homes well, any goals on the horizon?” But that is because I loveee to ask questions

 

[-Márgalock-]

I make the effort to not make a generic response, but even if I straight up say "Bad" or "not good", people usually don't ask further, huh

 

[user 164061]

In my experience people are just waiting for me to ask how they are, then they'll waffle on about themselves forever without even asking how i am. If i said "i'm quite bad today" they won't ask why or anything, they'll just gloss over it so they can be the focal point of attention which is a tad rude

 

[Bam111]

Do you find that if you were to respond in a negative way with "I'm feed up", "I'm a bit down", "I'm unhappy" or something similar, how ever you may respond, that they go on to question why that is?

yup if they are me, I question everything because I genuinely would like to know, but not everyone is like this after they hear that remark the usually just go (oh ok) or (wish you the best) or (best of luck to you) then leave you on site (that's just some examples btw)

Is responding in a positive way just a means of covering it up when you don't really want to talk about it as you know they are not going to ask why you are good?

just depends on the person really, there are many different personality types some good some bad some neutral some extremely toxic or cringy to others. It's really not too good to mask these emotions but sometimes necessary if you wish to interact with those ppl who only want to hear certain things ultimately you should stay true to whom you are and if they don't appreciate it then (no hard feelings they are probably not what you are looking for or you what they are looking for.)

 

[Finished]

I make the effort to not make a generic response, but even if I straight up say "Bad" or "not good", people usually don't ask further, huh

Welcome to the forum!

 

[9006]

I often find that for the most part the generic "Hi, how are you?" is just a social pleasantry rather than an actual concerning question. But it's ok because I tend to say say "Yeah, I'm ok" even when I'm not. For me it completely depends on the person in relation to myself.

 

[When]

I often find that for the most part the generic "Hi, how are you?" is just a social pleasantry rather than an actual concerning question. But it's ok because I tend to say say "Yeah, I'm ok" even when I'm not. For me it completely depends on the person in relation to myself.

I agree. I think it's a pleasantry, and not something most people regard as a serious question, particularly when posed by strangers or acquaintances versus friends. Thanks!!

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

I never say I'm good. I'll usually say something like "I'm still kicking" or "I'm still alive" Which are both true.

Thanks, now that gives me an idea. I'll think I'll just run with "like Simple Minds". (Rock band that in the 80's did a song titled "Alive and Kicking".) It would be quite amusing to see a puzzled look come across their face if nothing else.

(Oh and check it out if you don't know it, I think its a good song).

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

Thanks everyone for all your comments.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

In American businesses we call it "pleasantries," which is a completely ridiculous concept to most people outside of America because it's incredibly fake.

This entirely has to do with American consumer society and the way that it values the customer over the employees and staff. Such a concept originates actually thousands of years before America even existed, and its only implementation into American business models is that of coercion. Otherwise, yes, it's complete and total bullshit.

The customer and employee don't actually give a **** about each other at all, their interaction is entirely transactional. I give you the product, you give me the money, I bid you farewell, end of transaction.

Alternatively, the customer can banter a bit with the employee, this commonly happens with either the affluent, the elderly, or the aloof, and if you're a particularly unlucky cashier it will be all three in the same person. Now where it gets weird is that even when this happens it is still one-sided. The customer is allowed to be that way if they so are.

But if I as the employee begin to break customer service protocol and be totally honest about my day or feelings in brief gest, that's informal and potentially unacceptable or inexcusable, depending on which company I work for.

So since I'm stuck in this bullshit trap, I try to interact with customers as little as possible, in order to keep the line moving at a quicker rate, so that I can go about my day.

I've had several different European friends throughout the years explain to me how it's ridiculous, and they're right, it is ridiculous. Customer Service and Business Pleasantries historically have their origin like way back on the Silk Road-era of trade routes. Which makes sense for then, because if you travelled hundreds of miles through a variety of dangerous situations, you do kind of need to make enough to be able to make at least enough for supplies for the long road back. So it truly is an archaic concept, but it's still an archaic concept that works, and because it works and it's profitable, that's why it's streamlined here.

My boss and I joke about it all the time.
She says: "I wish I could just be realistic and be like: "No need to come in, there's nothing essential or interesting here, just slip your money under the door, thanks."

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

In American businesses we call it "pleasantries," which is a completely ridiculous concept to most people outside of America because it's incredibly fake.

This entirely has to do with American consumer society and the way that it values the customer over the employees and staff. Such a concept originates actually thousands of years before America even existed, and its only implementation into American business models is that of coercion. Otherwise, yes, it's complete and total bullshit.

The customer and employee don't actually give a **** about each other at all, their interaction is entirely transactional. I give you the product, you give me the money, I bid you farewell, end of transaction.

Alternatively, the customer can banter a bit with the employee, this commonly happens with either the affluent, the elderly, or the aloof, and if you're a particularly unlucky cashier it will be all three in the same person. Now where it gets weird is that even when this happens it is still one-sided. The customer is allowed to be that way if they so are.

But if I as the employee begin to break customer service protocol and be totally honest about my day or feelings in brief gest, that's informal and potentially unacceptable or inexcusable, depending on which company I work for.

So since I'm stuck in this bullshit trap, I try to interact with customers as little as possible, in order to keep the line moving at a quicker rate, so that I can go about my day.

I've had several different European friends throughout the years explain to me how it's ridiculous, and they're right, it is ridiculous. Customer Service and Business Pleasantries historically have their origin like way back on the Silk Road-era of trade routes. Which makes sense for then, because if you travelled hundreds of miles through a variety of dangerous situations, you do kind of need to make enough to be able to make at least enough for supplies for the long road back. So it truly is an archaic concept, but it's still an archaic concept that works, and because it works and it's profitable, that's why it's streamlined here.

My boss and I joke about it all the time.
She says: "I wish I could just be realistic and be like: "No need to come in, there's nothing essential or interesting here, just slip your money under the door, thanks."

While I do understand where you are coming from that in the business world it's just an interaction, this isn't always the case for all employees within a company and I am sure, not the way for all businesses out there.

I work in travel insurance, on the telephone and speak to many people in the course of a day and there is truly nothing more gutting about my job than when I am unable to offer a policy to a customer and have them on the telephone in tears, as the result of this is them having to pull out of a trip that they have had their heart set on for months.

Maybe not all employees are like me, and maybe it's not business like, but I do genuinely care about a lot of the customers that I speak too, and not just to bring money into the business.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

While I do understand where you are coming from that in the business world it's just an interaction, this isn't always the case for all employees within a company and I am sure, not the way for all businesses out there.

I work in travel insurance, on the telephone and speak to many people in the course of a day and there is truly nothing more gutting about my job than when I am unable to offer a policy to a customer and have them on the telephone in tears, as the result of this is them having to pull out of a trip that they have had their heart set on for months.

Maybe not all employees are like me, and maybe it's not business like, but I do genuinely care about a lot of the customers that I speak too, and not just to bring money into the business.

I think it's because I'm from wholesale distribution management and logistics.
So I'm used to looking at the numbers and the operation overhead.
Customer Service isn't my forte, it's just not where my strengths are at.
I'm introverted, not extroverted. I'm creative, not rudimentary.
I can handle the math and the organization of operations. but I can't handle the people that can't figure out how to use their own credit card, or spend hundreds, or thousands of dollars and then write a check to the totally wrong business or are too inebriated to even realize where they're spending their money at. It isn't a good look for them, either.
I totally understand how it happens, it happens because a person bit off more than they can chew in life and they ended up in an overwhelming busyness of a a dream turned into a nightmare, I've had that happen to me myself.
The thing is, that I learned to adapt to life with little to no help.
It demanded that I forwardly and directly face my problems in life, which is why I am the way that I am.
Most people, do the exact opposite of that. Typically, they run away from what I ran toward.
Every job I'm ever going to have is going to be JUST a job to me, that's all that it can be.
What I actually wanted to do with my life doesn't make any money, in fact I lost money trying that just to be sure.

 

[Rohini]

I think it's because I'm from wholesale distribution management and logistics.
So I'm used to looking at the numbers and the operation overhead.
Customer Service isn't my forte, it's just not where my strengths are at.
I'm introverted, not extroverted. I'm creative, not rudimentary.
I can handle the math and the organization of operations. but I can't handle the people that can't figure out how to use their own credit card, or spend hundreds, or thousands of dollars and then write a check to the totally wrong business or are too inebriated to even realize where they're spending their money at. It isn't a good look for them, either.
I totally understand how it happens, it happens because a person bit off more than they can chew in life and they ended up in an overwhelming busyness of a a dream turned into a nightmare, I've had that happen to me myself.
The thing is, that I learned to adapt to life with little to no help.
It demanded that I forwardly and directly face my problems in life, which is why I am the way that I am.
Most people, do the exact opposite of that. Typically, they run away from what I ran toward.
Every job I'm ever going to have is going to be JUST a job to me, that's all that it can be.
What I actually wanted to do with my life doesn't make any money, in fact I lost money trying that just to be sure.

Curious, what did you want to do that didn't involve making money?
TOTALLY agree on the part about people biting off more than they can chew and the business they so-desired turned into their nightmare. Happens so often, these days

 

[Claudia1794]

I think he's a musician