I'm thinking of killing myself...

[ComfortZone]

Shoot geeky_loser...first off, you have to drop that label of yourself! (Know what I mean?)

Secondly, so what if you are going bald? Why not just shave it all off and become bald?

Many, many sexy men out there who are bald....and personally, I find that a bit attractive anyway!

So, OK - right now - you are stuck working with you father....no biggie in this day and age given the crappy economy many of us are in. LOTS of folks are in the same boat - only thing is....you just don't HEAR a lot about it because it is not exactly something that makes national headlines...you know.

Doesn't mean though, that it does not exist!

But it happens and is happening. Doesn't mean that this is going to be your necessarily permanant plight in life at all.

Maybe just try and look at it as a natural transition period...because I tell ya - you are NOT alone at all in this!!!!!!!

Hang in there bud!

You have natural talents and a uniquiness (spelling?) all your own.

Don't be in such a hurry to cut yourself so short.....you know?

Is all I'm sayin'..............

Won't always be like this. Have some faith and trust in yourself. OK?

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
I'm sorry you're feeling sad and hopeless. I've been there too. It gets better.
You've found a great forum and I applaud your courage with getting on here and telling us how you're feeling. Keep us updated on how you're doing, I will look for your posts. We're always here, night and day.
Welcome to the forum, by the way!

Teresa

 

[jales]

Lol I saw your picture..

you are really really good looking,

and I like I said my husband started going bald at 20 and he is sooooooooooooooooooooooo hot.. I mean he could not be hotter

Lots of girls like balding guys.

Also look forward to meeting someone who is going to love you for your PERSONALITY and so on.. not really for your looks.

As for work and university, I know it may seem really crappy now, but things sometimes get a lot better than we are expecting them to get. Have hope.

What were you studying?
Why did you drop out?

What is your dream job??

Really hope you reply.

And I'm happily married, so I'm not hitting on you.. but that picture is reallllllllly good looking.

Thanks.

It's just that I really do not have a future. I dropped out of university, not high school. But the HS I went to is basically my country's version of a prep school. So I can't really do anything with that degree. And my dad's firm is really going through a rough time because of the economy and it might not make it through next year.

So, I got no professional future, and no personal future. Who's gonna want a guy who's twenty and going bald? And you saw my picture, I wouldn't look good with a shaved head.

I should just sell my organs or something. That can get my family plenty of money, at least I'd be useful in a way.

 

[geeky_loser]

Well it's not good looking enough for gay people. They say I lie about my age cause I look much older. Which I suppose is a nice way to say "ugly". And to think I actually started this day feeling good about myself. LOL at me.

I was studying sociology. It lasted a year, I dropped out this semester. Dropped out because I wasn't sure that's what I wanted and it was too late to switch this year. I have to wait till next October if I want to go to uni again, whether it's to continue sociology or try something else (our post-secondary education system is much different than in the US).

I used to want to either be a journalist or work in an institute of some kind and do sociological research. I also had some dreams about being an activist for this or that. Wanted to try and help people maybe, even if I just worked as an ordinary social worker.
And since we're talking dreams, I always wanted to design/program video games, or play the guitar and travel Europe playing, doing drugs and I'd-say-the-Fword-but-I'm-not-allowed cute guys. Yeah, I'm shallow.

The reality though is that I have no future and that I'll work with my father till his firm goes under. What I'm gonna do after then is probably get another crappy job via my dad's connections and try and move out to ease the financial strain on my family (my dad has savings, and isn't in debt so even if the firm bombs... they'd still have money and be able to stay afloat). But since I'm a loser I'll likely start drinking and doing drugs and I'll waste away in a one room apartment in a bad neighborhood. Guess you could write a folk/country song about that, except they only written like hundreds of them so far...

 

[Brian]

So go to University again in October. Find a way to do something positive for yourself while you wait; save cash, start working out, whatever. You can compensate to get rid of the feeling of failure until you can climb back on the train.

I mean, if you WANT to not accomplish something or make the best of a situation, that's perfectly fine. But at least be honest that you are crippling yourself.


And are we not allowed to say ****? I say it a lot. I hope I'm not tallying up points with it. They can't take that away from me, it's like, half of my ******* lexicon.


Gah. There I go again.

 

[trZ]

I'm pretty sure you can use ****.

The thing is, if you just think negatively, nothing will go good. You need to aim high! No matter what, you need to aim high all the time. You don't need to hit everytime, but aiming high will pay off, and its sure a hell of a lot better than to just assume everything will go to hell. Cmon man!

 

[Dehydra]

"Ugly" ~
I didn't see your photo but I do know this: Mick Jagger is one of the homeliest men in the world and his attractiveness has been legendary. It's how you USE your looks that determines the reaction you'll get.

All these other posters have written good things regarding health, education and whatnot. Let me just add that if you're REALLY thinking of suicide, please consider staying on for another year if only out of curiosity.
That is what I asked of my cousin's friend, and it turned out well.

 

[Calm]

You don't have any friends? Social interactions? Any hobbies? Anything to share with other people? Possibly to find other people like you, besides loneliness and wanting to die?

 

[geeky_loser]

Dude, I'm on a forum for lonely people... asking people to be online friends. I used to have some friends at uni, and I hear from the occasionally on facebook. Other than that my social interaction is talking to random online people. Reddit, forums...

In real life I have only my family.

I've wanted to take up hobbies when I got home, like working out and learning to play the guitar and something like that but I've been so crushed by depression that I barely get up in the morning and usually sleep till 4pm and by then it's already night because it's winter here.

I wish it wasn't this way, but I feel like I'm decomposing really. Losing hair, ugly skin... I just wanted to melt into a puddle and die.

 

[sneha]

for christ sakes's u r just 20's.. i wud give a world to be 20 again. and balding is curable,,its not a life threatening disease or something,, so get some medical help,, although i personally use olive oil,,bcos i have been loosing lot of hair. try it,might just work for u,and as far as the ugly thing is concerned.. come on man,, wat ya think u only one such person in whole world? ,try to be gud at one thing and master it,,then nothing else wud matter,once ppl know ur gud at something,,however small it may be,, they will value ur knowledge more then ur looks,,

people generally tend to believe negative things bout themselves more eagerly then wat gud lies in them. sorry for my bad english. but if its any consolation to u,
i am 28 , 50 kg overweight,,and constantly depressed with lot of mood swings. i am a college drop out,jobless and no career, and everyday i think of quitting and just end my life, but then u know wat,,,u r much more worth then u think.. so try out new things,, it may be as simple as gardening or plumbing,,watever will help u out living,
just try it dear,,things will work out for good and u wont regret,,for sure

if nothing else seems to works,, start praying for urself and others,,there are lots of people who need sincere prayers,,thats therapy.
good luck to u.

Not that I haven't thought of it before. But, I really haven nothing to live for and no future.

I dropped out of school, I haven't started working yet, I failed my driving test three times. I am not smart, I am ugly.

I'm twenty years old and I started balding. I'm pretty sure I'll have no hair by the end of the year.

I've never had a relationship. I'll die fat, ugly, bald and alone. So why keep up with this **** anyway.

Because of no school, I have no future beyond living with my parents and working in my dad's shop forever. Just sitting in little room alone, bald and ugly.

I'm tired of this ****, I want to end it.

 

[jales]

where are you from sneha?

@ geeky things will get better they will..

for christ sakes's u r just 20's.. i wud give a world to be 20 again. and balding is curable,,its not a life threatening disease or something,, so get some medical help,, although i personally use olive oil,,bcos i have been loosing lot of hair. try it,might just work for u,and as far as the ugly thing is concerned.. come on man,, wat ya think u only one such person in whole world? ,try to be gud at one thing and master it,,then nothing else wud matter,once ppl know ur gud at something,,however small it may be,, they will value ur knowledge more then ur looks,,

people generally tend to believe negative things bout themselves more eagerly then wat gud lies in them. sorry for my bad english. but if its any consolation to u,
i am 28 , 50 kg overweight,,and constantly depressed with lot of mood swings. i am a college drop out,jobless and no career, and everyday i think of quitting and just end my life, but then u know wat,,,u r much more worth then u think.. so try out new things,, it may be as simple as gardening or plumbing,,watever will help u out living,
just try it dear,,things will work out for good and u wont regret,,for sure

if nothing else seems to works,, start praying for urself and others,,there are lots of people who need sincere prayers,,thats therapy.
good luck to u.

Not that I haven't thought of it before. But, I really haven nothing to live for and no future.

I dropped out of school, I haven't started working yet, I failed my driving test three times. I am not smart, I am ugly.

I'm twenty years old and I started balding. I'm pretty sure I'll have no hair by the end of the year.

I've never had a relationship. I'll die fat, ugly, bald and alone. So why keep up with this **** anyway.

Because of no school, I have no future beyond living with my parents and working in my dad's shop forever. Just sitting in little room alone, bald and ugly.

I'm tired of this ****, I want to end it.

 

[LonelyDesert]

Geeky, you should listen to yourself, I have friends who are in their mid-40's and now have no jobs, no careers, no future and they have college degrees, talk about sadness and loneliness, the greatest thing for you is that you have all of your future ahead of you, that's something. Start small buddy, quit looking at the huge gigantic picture that seems impossible to overcome. I have dealt with loneliness my whole life (I'm 39), and when my mind is in one of famous moods of despair I usually head out into the desert I live in and get lost, it's only a temporarily fix but it takes my mind off it. Find something similar, working out is great in so many ways, learning guitar is awesome (I'm still trying after 20years). I live in a small semi-ghost town of 35 souls (most are lonely) we just had a friend commit suicide this last spring, I won't go into it, but it is the most selfish act, especially to this persons family, who loved him so.

 

[bens]

20 is very young.
The only 22yr old bald person I know is literally knee deep in women - I **** you not he sleeps with a different person every week. Not that that's necasserily what you want but it's all confidence and attitude. (he shaved his too and obvs. has issues still about being bald but masks with humour)
There's someone out there for anyone as long as they're actually out there sometimes and not none existant with a family who's lives are ruined forever.
I have a magnificent luxurious head of hair that I've been complimented on many times. For years though I had issues cos with it came a monobrow and hairy shoulders/ lower back that made me feel that I wa too ugly to ever be loved. They don't bother women in bed tho, what bothers them is that I'm depressive and anti-social out of bed.
It's all your ATTITUDE. Being bald is ******* nothing - evryone has physical **** like that (plenty of women have body hair in places adverts say they shouldnt) you just got to be a fun person or TRY.
You;ve got years yet to sort it out mate.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs*

it get's better

 

[stella]

Not that I haven't thought of it before. But, I really haven nothing to live for and no future.

I dropped out of school, I haven't started working yet, I failed my driving test three times. I am not smart, I am ugly.

I'm twenty years old and I started balding. I'm pretty sure I'll have no hair by the end of the year.

I've never had a relationship. I'll die fat, ugly, bald and alone. So why keep up with this **** anyway.

Because of no school, I have no future beyond living with my parents and working in my dad's shop forever. Just sitting in little room alone, bald and ugly.

I'm tired of this ****, I want to end it.

grow some hair, lose some weight easy.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It's not that easy to just grow hair, or even lose weight. Personally, I don't see either of those being such a negative. A bad personality is much worse.

 

[Ladysphinx]

Geeky, don't give up. I don't want to bore you with my life story but things can only get better if you want to.
I have dislexia and because I was never dignosed went throught hell in school, almost did not make it. I was molested by 3 diffrent ppl untill age 13. When I told my parents they didn't believe me. My mom once told me in my face she hates me. At 16 I went to a party and was druged and raped by 3 guys. Few weeks later found out I was pregnant but told know one, though I wanted a abortion I could not go through with it, had a misscarriage. I started using drugs, sex & alchol to numb my broken heart, tried to kill my self 5 times but never sucseeded. At the age of 18 I fell pregnant again, the father dissepeared. I stoped the drugs, sex & alchole, scared that she won't be normal. Had a beautiful baby girl, but she drown at age 17 months. Tried to kill my self again. Then I met my husband, do you know how many time he had to hold me while I cried my self to sleep a year after my baby died, every night for many months. Today I'm happily married with 3 kids and a wonderful husband at the age of 32. I still somtimes suffer from depresstion but after what I been through I believe in not giving up. Oh yeah and I'm fat, I use to be thin and beautiful but broken, now I'm fat but much happier then 10 yrs ago

 

[Innerpeace]

here is my opinion. life is not fair.

I am also balding and 25 and it does suck! I am also not noticably bald yet but the back of my head is thinning out.

I tried propecia but it caused sexual side effects and I read a lot of scarey things about it so I didn't try it.

you can try rogaine but I've read bad things about rogaine such as causing aging and wrinkline of your skin so i don't want to use it.

right now I am using Alpecin caffeine shampoo (german brand) you can order it on ebay or buy it if you live in europe. I use the shampoo and liquid. it contains caffeine and according to their study in a university in germany is slows or stops hairloss.

I have no idea if it actually works but I use it anyways.

also worth noting if you go bald there is always the option of hair transplant but that is also pretty risky I think it can get botched and look terrible but i'll probably risk it if I go bald.

oh and as much as it does suck. statistically 50% of men are balding by 40 years old. and 30% by 30. balding sucks but it is generally accepted in society. not like people are going to be staring at you like you are a monster lol. tons of men are balding.

one more thing. I know a girl that is bald which is pretty rare and she is 24. bald girls are way less accepted in society and it is way harder on them but this girl still enjoys life and everyone likes her.


and you think way tooo negative. life isn't fair like I said......... some people are born rich, beautiful, never go bald.

other people like me have to work hard to get what they want. don't give up. if you are fat then exercise, work out, go on a diet until you reach your goal.

if you are balding join a balding forum and try rogaine or other treatments or just wait and save up for a hair transplant. you might go bald in 5-10 years.

if you are poor and no education work harder and achieve something. go to trade school or university or whatever. take out a loan do everything you can ! life is about overcoming your struggles.

some people are just better able to deal with the struggles of life. I volunteer and bring food to the homeless and many of these people have nothing no family, no money, no future, yet they are not depressed or suicidal.

stop comparing yourself to other people or caring what other people thing. just work hard to get what you want.

the difference between people who succeed and people who fail in getting what they want in life is that those who succeed don't give up so easily.

 

[Lawrens]

grow some hair, lose some weight easy.

If it's that easy =P

 

[LonelyAtTimes]

A few years a go, one night I wrote out my suiside note, had the method at hand and was intent on doing it, didn't quite have the nerve, couldl'd carry it out, was even upset that I didn't....thank goodness for lack of nerve!!!

even though I didn't believe reached out, made some connections, slogged along, started to get past the depression, couple of years later, things are by no means all roses but have actually moved into a place of some optimism....

You sound like you are in actual depression where life dosen't seem worth it and you don't judge yourself like you are worth it....so come to this board and post and vent, or other web sites and vent, or let family know of your depression, or seek help in the community, or read a book, something different, put yourself in motion even if your thoughts and feelings say your not worth it, it is not worth it, even if you don't believe put yourself in motion in someway.......

e-mail me if you want.......actually do e-mail, in one of your posts said that you are looking for an online friend....well maybe me...

I am somebody who has come from lack of belief and depression to starting to do ok...

JH