Is Spanking Or A Slap To The Face As A Disciplinary Measure Child Abuse?

[monkeysox]

I used to spank myself 'cause i enjoyed it.

LOL

Please listen folks

I love this forum & everyone on here, harmony can only be kept if we respect each others points of view.

In 'every case' so not pin pointing anyone.

'disagree with respect'

Its not always easy to interpret what is put too.

In truth its the things said without swearing or name calling that upset people and we have all experienced that.

Have now seen two people go off this forum because they were upset over something then lost their temper and the rules get broken - 1 voluntarily.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but I still feel for them because they felt insulted/upset in the first place.

there are enough forums you can go on that get it wrong and have aggressively stated arguments or debates or be offended on - this one is one of the ones that gets it right.

We are all different, we can't all share the same points of view, that doesn't mean we have the right to offend people.

So I hope this helps everyone to be more harmonious.

We are all in this together.

And its nearly Christmas !

Lou

x

 

[Walley]

Notice that I didn't call names.

If people can't stand aggressively stated arguments, then why even bother getting involved in the debate?

the point of debate is to make your views clear and state your case.
where people go wrong is not merely by direct insults or angry behaviour. we are supposed to speak to the issue, not to the people opposing our views.
when a debate shifts towards aggressive comments that speak to one person it is no longer a debate, it's a disagreement. or argument.
agression has no place in debates on any forum and cooler heads that focus stricktly on facts at hand win the day.

 

[monkeysox]

the point of debate is to make your views clear and state your case.
where people go wrong is not merely by direct insults or angry behaviour. we are supposed to speak to the issue, not to the people opposing our views.
when a debate shifts towards aggressive comments that speak to one person it is no longer a debate, it's a disagreement. or argument.
agression has no place in debates on any forum and cooler heads that focus stricktly on facts at hand win the day.

Totally agree with what Walley has put here.

 

[bodafuko]

Some people finding spanking or a slap to the face a turn-on. So, yes, it's a very subjective topic.

 

[monkeysox]

Some people finding spanking or a slap to the face a turn-on. So, yes, it's a very subjective topic.

that kind of spanking is a topic on its own LOL

 

[ardour]

Sigh....not even sure why I'm bothering to respond to this..

oh but I'm absolutely honored

Thanks for pointing out I'm arrogant (as you define arrogance)- sadly though, this is far from the truth. I chuckled when I read "....quite arrogant to think personal experiences are somehow universal." a few hours after reading your learned declaration "Better an occasional smack than naively raising a sociopath.", unfortunately I'm now confused by your thoughts- would it be correct for me to have the assumption that an occasional (depending on your definition of occasional) smack will prevent someone from being a sociopath?

No logical inconsistency because I didn't present smacking as some cure-all for that or anything. As most parents know, children knowingly push the boundaries (some a lot more than others) while in full knowledge of right and wrong. While one child will respond to reasoning, verbal disapproval and other punishments like having privileges removed, another won't care. A small smack, if that's what it comes down to, might be better than someone potentially growing up with the idea that others are merely a resource to use and that they can do whatever they please.

In my experience the kids who did the most of the physical bullying at school - and there were a fair cross-section at these schools - were those who came from wealthy backgrounds with parents who didn't discipline them at all.

I guess I look at it in an extremely simple way- from my experience violence begets violence.

... simplistic, black-and-white... overly reductive. It's fair to assume that children can differentiate between a reluctantly used smack as a last resort from a shocked parent and a beating. Along with the fact that they involve vastly different degrees of violence.

You're quite right in saying that children aren't all the same and I get that- my question is this though, why can't the way you relate to them be consistent? The Kid has peers that many consider wild, out of control, etc. I haven't had these problems because I don't talk down to them, act dismissive, or fail to follow through with what I say. My word is my bond with them and they appreciate it. These are key to dealing with kids- why do so many assume they can treat them as though they are a less significant person than an adult? I guess I just look at it differently than many. It's worked well for me over the years, can't see myself changing it.

I'm not sure what the point of this is other than to imply that parents who have ever resorted to smacking are just poor parents.

I think I'm done with this. I'm actually surprised this thread hasn't been closed down due to the nature of its subject and some of the responses given. Who can figure what is and isn't acceptable- I know I'm baffled.

Oh dear, a bit full of yourself and your opinions, poor guy.

 

[monkeysox]

Like I said as much offence and upset caused without name calling.

Its no wonder BC lost it.

I vote with my feet, I will support those who need it by PM only from now on.

Why ? because after a polite fair response for harmony you completely showed contempt for it.

Write what you want all of you - I don't wish to be part of it.

 

[Wessik]

My dad is old-school. Let's say I was complaining or didn't want to clean my room. He would look me square in the eye, and say in a deep, slow voice. "That's all right. Let me get you some help."

That was usually my cue to ****-my-pants. Other times, when we we're in public and I was acting up, he'd say something like "Look at all these people around". ****, that was scary. The first time, I didn't get it. The second time, I didn't believe he would do it. The third time, I settled down real quick.

In hindsight, I don't think that my dad's disciplinary actions were anything bordering on abuse. He didn't like disciplining me, and when he did have to, the actual physical pain was not much, as he really just tapped the flesh lightly.

But what was truly so terrifying was the way he just used complete psychological torture on you. I guess he figured it would be easier to scare the **** out of me through words than through actual violence.

Ah...nostalgia is a funny thing. There is an element of pleasure at having survived such things, but I don't think I would want to live them over again. When I have kids, I regret to say that I will probably use some version of my dad's psychological discipline, as a prefer it to actual physical violence. But maybe I will tone it down a notch.

 

[LoneKiller]

Jesus. I wasn't trying make a Federal case out of this guys.

 

[Wessik]

Hmm... I seemed to have missed a great deal of this thread.

Sorry if I came off as insensitive.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hmm... I seemed to have missed a great deal of this thread.

Sorry if I came off as insensitive.

Not at all Wessik. Nobody who posted in this thread needs to apologize. It's I that should apologize. I really didn't think it would go this way so dramatically. The thread was taken much more seriously than I thought. I would have posted this in the debate section, but at the time, I honestly didn't think it would go this far and get this heated.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I'd say that anything related to child abuse will get treated seriously, as it should. Chalk it up to a bad choice of words LK and move on?

 

[LoneKiller]

Yeah. I'm going to give my choice of words and content a little more thought from now on before I post a topic like this.

 

[monkeysox]

I wasn't just talking about this thread and we all know it.

We forget that this is a bit of salvation for people, in some cases its all people have to turn to - respect is all that is needed.

Then people won't get riled up, upset and angry.

Then these things won't develop - regardless of the topic.

No there is never going to be perfection, But over the last weeks there has been too many upset to count.

Please remember the original cause that we are on here.

 

[Poguesy]

Yeah. I'm going to give my choice of words and content a little more thought from now on before I post a topic like this.

Why?

 

[LoneKiller]

Yeah. I'm going to give my choice of words and content a little more thought from now on before I post a topic like this.

Why?

Because I don't like being the cause of trouble resulting from strong opinions that often get nasty.

 

[Poguesy]

Yeah. I'm going to give my choice of words and content a little more thought from now on before I post a topic like this.

Why?

Because I don't like being the cause of trouble resulting from strong opinions that often get nasty.

I wouldn't humour them too much. Not your fault if they're all jumped up.

 

[LoneKiller]

I should have known better. This topic crosses abuse with children. How in the **** could I not think it would get nasty. I blame myself.

 

[EveWasFramed]

People choose their own words and the OP of a thread cannot be held responsible for that.
Yes, this thread had the potential to blow up, just like any other thread.
The problem starts when people resort to name-calling. Only the people posting here have the ability to control what they type in response to a thread/post.

At the request of the OP I'm going to close this thread.