TropicalStarfish
Well-known member
I think we give out subconscious signals, as to who we are, and what we are looking for.
On a subconscious level, perhaps we attract selfish people, who are indifferent, because, deep down, we don't respect ourselves, don't like ourselves, and don't treat ourselves right; so a certain type of person can pick up on that, and find comfort in that type of person, because, they are a hard person to like, and possess a lot of qualities which can only be tolerated by a certain type of person. A sadist can hang out with other sadists, but, they are unlikely to get their fix; and likewise, a masochist can hang out with another masochist, but, they are unlikely to get their fix. So, I think sadists and masochists comingle sometimes, to varying degrees of severity... And it's not always bad, but sometimes it's quite awful.
There is a certain comfort in the type of person who, on the one hand, doesn't much appreciate or care for us, beyond a very superficial level, and on the other hand, is a very '#1 comes first.' Type of person.
I'm sure I've been the selfish, indifferent, self-interested friend to some. And others have been that to me.
Nothing like a good friend, though. There can be ups and downs even in a great friendship, though. I think that's why we get burned out. Just like some people are with relationships. They've had one to many go wrong, so they just quit, because they can't afford to be hurt anymore; and, I'm not quite sure they are wrong for doing so, at least in the short-term or mid-long-term.
Ideally though, I don't think one should give in to the, 'fear,' of being hurt again. If one needs to take a break from engaging in friendships, to collect themselves, I think that's healthy. But to avoid them, out of fear of being hurt again, I think that's a call to address the issue, internally.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, three times, etc., shame on me.
I don't like to think it, but, perhaps it's necessary to cross a valley of loneliness, to get to the greener pastures of good friends.
Other times, I think, being in a lonely situation: there is no sense to it, at all. It's just pure misfortune of circumstance, to which, the only and best remedy, is to hope for the best, plan for the worst, and make the best of what is.
On a subconscious level, perhaps we attract selfish people, who are indifferent, because, deep down, we don't respect ourselves, don't like ourselves, and don't treat ourselves right; so a certain type of person can pick up on that, and find comfort in that type of person, because, they are a hard person to like, and possess a lot of qualities which can only be tolerated by a certain type of person. A sadist can hang out with other sadists, but, they are unlikely to get their fix; and likewise, a masochist can hang out with another masochist, but, they are unlikely to get their fix. So, I think sadists and masochists comingle sometimes, to varying degrees of severity... And it's not always bad, but sometimes it's quite awful.
There is a certain comfort in the type of person who, on the one hand, doesn't much appreciate or care for us, beyond a very superficial level, and on the other hand, is a very '#1 comes first.' Type of person.
I'm sure I've been the selfish, indifferent, self-interested friend to some. And others have been that to me.
Nothing like a good friend, though. There can be ups and downs even in a great friendship, though. I think that's why we get burned out. Just like some people are with relationships. They've had one to many go wrong, so they just quit, because they can't afford to be hurt anymore; and, I'm not quite sure they are wrong for doing so, at least in the short-term or mid-long-term.
Ideally though, I don't think one should give in to the, 'fear,' of being hurt again. If one needs to take a break from engaging in friendships, to collect themselves, I think that's healthy. But to avoid them, out of fear of being hurt again, I think that's a call to address the issue, internally.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, three times, etc., shame on me.
I don't like to think it, but, perhaps it's necessary to cross a valley of loneliness, to get to the greener pastures of good friends.
Other times, I think, being in a lonely situation: there is no sense to it, at all. It's just pure misfortune of circumstance, to which, the only and best remedy, is to hope for the best, plan for the worst, and make the best of what is.
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