Life's a piece of sh*t, when you look at it...

[Constantin]

It's Christmas and, for some reason, these two lyrics from Monty Python's Life Of Brian keep playing in my head. Life is misery. I am disabled from birth. I have no one. I never had anyone in my almost 40 years of life. No one to love me. No person of the opposite gender has ever shown any interest in me. Ever. I've never had my first kiss. I never knew the feeling of hearing someone tell you that they love you. My own parents never wanted me. My father left before I was born because my mother refused to abort me. And my mother gave birth to me only to offer me a horrible life. She suffers from so many undiagnosed mental health problems that it's difficult to even know where to start listing them. She treats me horribly. She has told me time and time again that she never wanted a disabled son, that she would kill herself if she was me, that God gave me a disabled body because He knew that I have an evil soul, she curses me me frequently, yesterday she had a fit and became violent and scratched my hand. She's a crazy cat lady, hoarding dozens of cat in her apartment. I could call the authorities, but I would end up on the streets because I don't have any other relatives. No siblings, no friends. Nothing. I live with chronic pain, I need several surgeries that I cannot afford, and I am angry with God. If I die, I will end up on hell because I truly hate Him and I am addicted to porn. I was born to suffer and suffer forever. Even after I die.

 

[MrLonely86]

Reincarnation is real , you will get another chance. And if you mess that one up, you will get another one after that, and that goes to infinity. I also messed up in this round, but nothing to worry about, we all go to next round also.

 

[constant stranger]

The being we refer to as God is probably accustomed to people being angry with Him. I do not think that it's inevitable for you to end up in a hell zone.
I agree with MrLonely, reincarnation is a real thing. We're all gonna get more chances.
I'm sorry that you were born disabled and that you live with pain......and it doesn't mean that you have an evil soul.
You don't deserve to suffer.....as much as it's possible, try and not make things worse for yourself.

 

[okidoke]

“We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matter is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation—just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer—we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I can relate to a few of the sentiments. That sounds incredibly rough @Constantin .

I decided for myself a while ago that: I'm not anyone's mistake, or anything like that. It's my life. Sure, things may have been different if I wasn't dealt a bad hand. Sure things may have been different if I played my bad hand a bit better at times. But beyond that, I'm my own person. A happening of The Universe.

I think most everyone above has covered some of the better advice; not sure I can add much.

That GIF you posted is from Life of Brian's ending theme; I think it goes like: "Always look on the bright side of life!"

Indeed..


Beautiful video. That must have been something to be there for that.

 

[okidoke]

What happens to your thinking if you take God out of the picture @Constantin ? May I ask the nature of your disability and the surgery you require? How old is your mother and what would happen to you if she passed away tomorrow? I think you’re truly amazing to have survived your suffering for so long. Your resilience is outstanding and to be lauded. You have inadvertently given hope to those more fortunate on this forum. I truly hope something good comes to you this new year.

 

[Constantin]

What happens to your thinking if you take God out of the picture @Constantin ?

Theoretically, it would get better because my suffering would end with death instead of continuing in the afterlife. But I can't take God out of the picture because of the numerous supernatural experiences I have had over the years.

May I ask the nature of your disability and the surgery you require?

It's a genetic condition where many of my bones are deformed. The genetician couldn't be bothered to continue the investigation and just said it's an unknown disorder. I need several surgeries to fix my rib cage, my spine and several of my other bones. I also need a gallbladder surgery. I think I'd need about ten surgeries in total.

How old is your mother and what would happen to you if she passed away tomorrow?

I won't tell you her age. No idea what would happen. I'd probably live at the countryside with some distant relatives until I'd die. My health is poor enough that, without intensive medical aid, I won't live a long life.

I think you’re truly amazing to have survived your suffering for so long. Your resilience is outstanding and to be lauded. You have inadvertently given hope to those more fortunate on this forum.

That's an awful thing to say. No one's circumstances should constitute motivation for another because we all have different levels of resilience and different suffering thresholds. The same problems that some people have managed to brush off as irrelevant have led other people to suicide.

 

[okidoke]

Theoretically, it would get better because my suffering would end with death instead of continuing in the afterlife. But I can't take God out of the picture because of the numerous supernatural experiences I have had over the years.

You associate God with the Supernatural? Can you elaborate your experiences?

It's a genetic condition where many of my bones are deformed. The genetician couldn't be bothered to continue the investigation and just said it's an unknown disorder. I need several surgeries to fix my rib cage, my spine and several of my other bones. I also need a gallbladder surgery. I think I'd need about ten surgeries in total.

That's gut wrenching for sure

That's an awful thing to say. No one's circumstances should constitute motivation for another because we all have different levels of resilience and different suffering thresholds. The same problems that some people have managed to brush off as irrelevant have led other people to suicide.

That's not what I meant at all and i think you know that. I don't know why you chose that tact.

 

[147]

It is totally unnecessary to take the anger you have for your own circumstances out on other people.

I don't feel like he was doing that? It didn't come across like that to me at all, on the contrary, I thought there was value in the statement he made. No need to take a difference in opinion as a personal offence?

 

[okidoke]

I don't feel like he was doing that? It didn't come across like that to me at all, on the contrary, I thought there was value in the statement he made. No need to take a difference in opinion as a personal offence?

ok then. i've removed that line and we'll see how that results

 

[147]

ok then. i've removed that line and we'll see how that results

Alrighty, that's your prerogative
I just wanted to show that there was a different interpretation available