Merry Xmas from my girlfriend

[kamya]

There's some very naive ideas going around here. Sure they might sound good in theory, but in reality you are coming off as desperate and easily used/manipulated. If you have masochistic tendencies then fine but if you want a real, healthy, 2 sided relationship, this is not the way to do it.

At the very least get her to admit that she was wrong and to apologize without her trying to turn it around on you.

[Edit- Maybe you have a cuckold fetish and don't realize it. Guys who give everything to and worship their wives, staying monogamous while permitting their wife to sleep with other men who are more able to satisfy her sexual/romantic needs. They only exist to please their wife.]

 

[Anten]

Great post kamya.

 

[putter65]

Great post kamya.

I see alot of good debating going on.

I've just arranged a coffee date with her on Monday.

I asked and she came back with meeting on Monday. I am going to see how it goes. If she is a pain in the arse I may have a re think. It's not that serious, it's a coffee. I am not treating it as anything more.

I don't know, despite everything I probably still like her. And the fact she agreed to meeting, she must still like me.

 

[Sci-Fi]

You contacted her? Oh boy. Sorry but Kayma hit it right on the nail here. And this was before your last post.

There's some very naive ideas going around here. Sure they might sound good in theory, but in reality you are coming off as desperate and easily used/manipulated. If you have masochistic tendencies then fine but if you want a real, healthy, 2 sided relationship, this is not the way to do it.

At the very least get her to admit that she was wrong and to apologize without her trying to turn it around on you.

[Edit- Maybe you have a cuckold fetish and don't realize it. Guys who give everything to and worship their wives, staying monogamous while permitting their wife to sleep with other men who are more able to satisfy her sexual/romantic needs. They only exist to please their wife.]

Wanting to remain on friendly(ish) terms with someone is admirable, no need to create more enemies in life. I've done that too, went back around and decided to level things on a friend basis. It gets left at that though, we make our peace and go our separate ways, that way if our paths ever cross again we can actually smile and say hi to each other, maybe chat a bit. That's it.

 

[putter65]

You contacted her? Oh boy. Sorry but Kayma hit it right on the nail here. And this was before your last post.

There's some very naive ideas going around here. Sure they might sound good in theory, but in reality you are coming off as desperate and easily used/manipulated. If you have masochistic tendencies then fine but if you want a real, healthy, 2 sided relationship, this is not the way to do it.

At the very least get her to admit that she was wrong and to apologize without her trying to turn it around on you.

[Edit- Maybe you have a cuckold fetish and don't realize it. Guys who give everything to and worship their wives, staying monogamous while permitting their wife to sleep with other men who are more able to satisfy her sexual/romantic needs. They only exist to please their wife.]

Wanting to remain on friendly(ish) terms with someone is admirable, no need to create more enemies in life. I've done that too, went back around and decided to level things on a friend basis. It gets left at that though, we make our peace and go our separate ways, that way if our paths ever cross again we can actually smile and say hi to each other, maybe chat a bit. That's it.

Keeping as friends seemed boring to me. I decided to give it one last shot. Lets see how it goes. She said it was upto me. I have made my decision. I sent her a long text saying aload of stuff (most of it was ******** crap that she wants to hear) - she could have not answered or said 'no' but she suggested a day to meet.

Lets see what happens.

---

I'm a lonely person remember.

I have next week off work. I have a few rounds of golf with my Dad planned, going to the cinema (by myself) and nothing else apart from coffee with her. I have had weeks off were the only person I've spoken to is my Dad.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Just don't let her crush you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Even if she dose crush ya...
Its 50/50 either way.
Nothing is set in stone.
As,long as youre particating
In life, anything gose.
Just have fun either way.

---

Nothing last forever cuase your not
Going to live forever.

Were all going to die.
We all must live until we die
everything else in between is optoonal.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Keeping as friends seemed boring to me. I decided to give it one last shot. Lets see how it goes. She said it was upto me. I have made my decision. I sent her a long text saying aload of stuff (most of it was ******** crap that she wants to hear) - she could have not answered or said 'no' but she suggested a day to meet.

Lets see what happens.

---

I'm a lonely person remember.

I have next week off work. I have a few rounds of golf with my Dad planned, going to the cinema (by myself) and nothing else apart from coffee with her. I have had weeks off were the only person I've spoken to is my Dad.

---

We're all lonely here, I pretty much don't even have a social circle. That's kind of weird when you're 20!

However, compromising on your relationship standards because of loneliness is not really sensible in the long run. You admit you don't speak with people other than your Dad much sometimes - why not break out of that and go out somewhere nice for a few evenings?

Or take up some kind of social hobby, like dance classes. Dance classes are usually unisex and often feature some very attractive, nice ladies - I plan to sign up for some myself. It also gives you a confidence boosting skill you can impress other with.

I'd say a lonely state of life isn't good, but trying to establish a relationship with someone who will just stick an emotional knife through your heart isn't preferable by any stretch of the imagination.

Anyway, I wish you luck, whatever you end up doing

 

[putter65]

Keeping as friends seemed boring to me. I decided to give it one last shot. Lets see how it goes. She said it was upto me. I have made my decision. I sent her a long text saying aload of stuff (most of it was ******** crap that she wants to hear) - she could have not answered or said 'no' but she suggested a day to meet.

Lets see what happens.

---

I'm a lonely person remember.

I have next week off work. I have a few rounds of golf with my Dad planned, going to the cinema (by myself) and nothing else apart from coffee with her. I have had weeks off were the only person I've spoken to is my Dad.

---

We're all lonely here, I pretty much don't even have a social circle. That's kind of weird when you're 20!

However, compromising on your relationship standards because of loneliness is not really sensible in the long run. You admit you don't speak with people other than your Dad much sometimes - why not break out of that and go out somewhere nice for a few evenings?

Or take up some kind of social hobby, like dance classes. Dance classes are usually unisex and often feature some very attractive, nice ladies - I plan to sign up for some myself. It also gives you a confidence boosting skill you can impress other with.

I'd say a lonely state of life isn't good, but trying to establish a relationship with someone who will just stick an emotional knife through your heart isn't preferable by any stretch of the imagination.

Anyway, I wish you luck, whatever you end up doing

---

Thanks for your advice and good luck gaining some friends of your own.

If it all goes wrong I only have myself to blame. I do think it will go well though. We seem to get on together.

 

[putter65]

Just don't let her crush you.

Cheers. I am not sure what she can do.

She isn't sending texts and is only replying to mine. Seems I am in the dog house. In her mind she did nothing wrong, it was all my fault.

It all seems a bit of a game. She was the one on Tuesday night who kept saying we will keep as friends. And it was her who said it was upto me whether we get back to together. Yet she isn't making it easy with her cool behaviour. I bet she is friendly on Monday though. She could have easily said she didn't want to see me or suggested meeting in a few weeks.

I may wake up and think 'what the **** am I doing ?'

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

It all seems a bit of a game.

Understatement of the century!

What is it you're afraid of in cutting her off? Being lonely for a prolonged period?

If a girl/woman really likes you, she'll want to hang out with you whenever possible. She'll compliment you, laugh genuinely when you talk to her, she'll look you in the eyes a lot. She may even share physical contact with you (sitting close to you, touching your arms/chest) without any prompting at all.

She won't lie to you, be evasive, abruptly change her stance towards you, blame you for stuff that's not your fault and generally act like a total bitch!

If you don't feel this woman is right for you deep down (and I don't think you honestly do think this is a sensible way to do things) don't let your fears stop you from being a man and taking control of it.

Be confident, be assertive, don't be scared of taking decisive and final action. Being able to do exactly that will make you very attractive to confident, pretty and genuine women!

 

[putter65]

It all seems a bit of a game.

Understatement of the century!

What is it you're afraid of in cutting her off? Being lonely for a prolonged period?

' Yes.'

If a girl/woman really likes you, she'll want to hang out with you whenever possible. She'll compliment you, laugh genuinely when you talk to her, she'll look you in the eyes a lot. She may even share physical contact with you (sitting close to you, touching your arms/chest) without any prompting at all.

'To be fair to her, she does laugh at the things I say and smile quite a bit. I got her to laugh and smile on Tuesday even though she was pissed off. She looks into my eyes alot as well. We did share close moments, kissing, hugging, holding each other.'

She won't lie to you, be evasive, abruptly change her stance towards you, blame you for stuff that's not your fault and generally act like a total bitch!

If you don't feel this woman is right for you deep down (and I don't think you honestly do think this is a sensible way to do things) don't let your fears stop you from being a man and taking control of it.

Be confident, be assertive, don't be scared of taking decisive and final action. Being able to do exactly that will make you very attractive to confident, pretty and genuine women!

I've been writing messages on boards like this for over 10 years. People give me advice about women. Never had a date until this woman. You need positive results to gain confidence. That's what I think anyway.

 

[cheapburritos]

That's just horrible. >:|
Why is it that girls who DON'T deserve good guys always get them...
but the ones who look all there life for someone, never find them?

Excuse me for butting in but, really.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I've been writing messages on boards like this for over 10 years. People give me advice about women. Never had a date until this woman. You need positive results to gain confidence. That's what I think anyway.

Oh, of course. But I just don't know if I'd define going out with a selfish, twisted woman a good result! Especially if it injures your confidence further in the end.

By contrast, if you were to find a genuine lady you'd immediately have a gigantic boost in romantic satisfaction and your confidence

You just have to value yourself enough to make these sorts of decisions when they're needed.

EDIT - Of course, it's positive you dated her in the first place. Now you can turn those newly honed skills to someone that deserves you

 

[putter65]

I've been writing messages on boards like this for over 10 years. People give me advice about women. Never had a date until this woman. You need positive results to gain confidence. That's what I think anyway.

Oh, of course. But I just don't know if I'd define going out with a selfish, twisted woman a good result! Especially if it injures your confidence further in the end.

By contrast, if you were to find a genuine lady you'd immediately have a gigantic boost in romantic satisfaction and your confidence

You just have to value yourself enough to make these sorts of decisions when they're needed.

EDIT - Of course, it's positive you dated her in the first place. Now you can turn those newly honed skills to someone that deserves you

I've gained no postives from her. But then again it's not damaged me. It's been an experience. Is it better than nothing ? I don't know ?

Years of been single and now I have this 3 month fiasco. People always tell me what a nice guy I am. That doesn't seem to help much.

I'm actually having second thoughts about Monday. I probably will go but if it isn't a nice experience then that's it.

---

I've been writing messages on boards like this for over 10 years. People give me advice about women. Never had a date until this woman. You need positive results to gain confidence. That's what I think anyway.

Oh, of course. But I just don't know if I'd define going out with a selfish, twisted woman a good result! Especially if it injures your confidence further in the end.

By contrast, if you were to find a genuine lady you'd immediately have a gigantic boost in romantic satisfaction and your confidence

You just have to value yourself enough to make these sorts of decisions when they're needed.

EDIT - Of course, it's positive you dated her in the first place. Now you can turn those newly honed skills to someone that deserves you

I've gained no postives from her. But then again it's not damaged me. It's been an experience. Is it better than nothing ? I don't know ?

Years of been single and now I have this 3 month fiasco. People always tell me what a nice guy I am. That doesn't seem to help much.

I'm actually having second thoughts about Monday. I probably will go but if it isn't a nice experience then that's it.

If she makes it difficult on Monday, eg not answering my texts to arrange things then I'm off to play golf lol. **** it !

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I can guarantee you that the minute a decent girl takes an interest, you will know and feel the difference immediately.

I've never gone out with a girl myself, but when girls have sincerely shown an interest in me...it feels really intense.

You know that they like you and there is absolutely none of this weird, dishonest ********. It's worth waiting for, even if it means being lonely in the meantime

 

[jjam]

Wanting to remain on friendly(ish) terms with someone is admirable, no need to create more enemies in life. I've done that too, went back around and decided to level things on a friend basis. It gets left at that though, we make our peace and go our separate ways, that way if our paths ever cross again we can actually smile and say hi to each other, maybe chat a bit. That's it.

ding ding ding ding ding!

---

By the way, someone needs to make a serious movie about this kind of ****. lol! And not a comedy either.

 

[putter65]

I can guarantee you that the minute a decent girl takes an interest, you will know and feel the difference immediately.

I've never gone out with a girl myself, but when girls have sincerely shown an interest in me...it feels really intense.

You know that they like you and there is absolutely none of this weird, dishonest ********. It's worth waiting for, even if it means being lonely in the meantime

All I've known is women laughing at me (That happened when I was a teenager), women ignoring me or this kind of women liking me as a friend / co worker but of course nothing more. Alot of old woman take a shine to me, god knows why ?

I've been single a long time before this woman came along. And I couldn't believe my luck when she wanted to spend time with me. I guess I got carried away a bit.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Putter,
You know that advice your getting
Are from kids in their 20s...that can't
Get dates, havnt been on first base,
Yet know how to steal second base.

**** they dont even swing the damn
bat...
Curve balls, fast balls, or knuggle balls...
I know you're swinging...
**** it...bunt if you have too.
Its all good.

---

Or let her throw wild ass pitches
At you...you can walk on base like
That too...

 

[putter65]

Putter,
You know that advice your getting
Are from kids in their 20s...that can't
Get dates, havnt been on first base,
Yet know how to steal second base.

**** they dont even swing the damn
bat...
Curve balls, fast balls, or knuggle balls...
I know you're swinging...
**** it...bunt if you have too.
Its all good.

---

Or let her throw wild ass pitches
At you...you can walk on base like
That too...

---

So your saying I'm doing the right thing seeing her again ?