My boyfriend might have a lying problem.

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Make sure that he is nowhere near you when you move out. It sounds like you're in a volatile situation. I personally would wait until the situation was stabilized. I would ask for police presence, or at least gather some strong beefy man around, or just leave my stuff behind, because it's not worth losing my life He's a manipulative, sick man and no matter what, you must never, EVER have anything to do with him. If there's a gun, if he's unstable, if he's threatening suicide, if he's manipulative: it sounds to me that you are in danger. Do whatever you can to stay safe. If people say otherwise, they're minimizing and downplaying this. As other people said: RUN, and trust your gut.
 
Hey guys, sorry for the late replies and thank you for all of your concerns. I have been couch surfing since Monday and I am moving on Friday (tomorrow). I have made sure that he won't be in the apartment when I move, an my Dad will be there to help and protect me. He's a VERY intimidating guy. I feel very safe around him. Also, my ex will not be in the apartment when I am moving. I have a friend taking him out to the downtown area, then to the gym, and then out to eat. Distractions for him.

I have to go back to get my stuff because there are a lot of valuable things in there, including my pet rabbit, my camera gear (I'm a freelance photographer) and other things. It will take a very maximum of 2 hours to get all of my stuff out of there. In reality, only an hour because there isn't any big stuff to move.

My last day of work is today. I am really sad I have to leave my team of amazing coworkers (and the great pay rate, can't lie) as well as customers I've built relationships with. At least yesterday was pretty awesome. My manager added my 46 hours of vacation time to this weeks paycheck, so that's extra money for my plane ticket for my hometown vacation time this summer.

It's all just surreal, you know? Everything that happened on Monday scared me to death. I'll post the full-detailed story below.
 
I'm glad to hear that you will have your dad with you, Inspire.

Awwwwww your pet rabbit!! I have one too. Aww he/she must've been lonely. :\

Sorry to hear about you leaving your job. I hope you'll find the next one just as fulfilling and awesome as this.

Glad to hear you're okay, Inspire. Stay strong. *hugs*
 
Take care of yourself Inspire. Our thoughts will remain with you (I am sure). It will get better even after everything that has happened. The best is yet to come :)
 
Sorry coming late into this too,

From what i have read tho you have done whats best for you hun. I'm sorry you have had to leave your job but my god i am so glad to hear you are moving out. Your still so young at 21 and have a long healthy life ahead of you, you don't need someone like him holding you back. My thoughts are with you and good luck moving tomorrow/today.

Hope you update us to how your coping as soon as you can *hugs*
 
THE FULL STORY:

On Monday morning, I wake up next to him and feel an immediate distaste for what he's been doing. I know he's lying about everything, he's been promising me things and breaking these promises, he's hiding things from me. The night before, I was able to look through the text messages on his phone and see a conversation between he and his mother. He had told her he went to the hospital just a week earlier, sent to the emergency room with oxygen. I don't believe it happened, since he never told me anything. He was, of course, lying to fish more money out of his parents.

I went to work that day without talking to him. There was a customer there who works at Intel, so I asked her the requirements for getting an internship there. She said that it depends and they don't usually offer internships, an if they did, it would require an absolute minimim of a two-year certification or degree, and a 4 year degree to get a job. After work (around 5:30 ish) I came home, even more angered than before. I sat down on the armchair for a while to collect my thoughts, not even greeting my boyfriend when I came in. He came out of the bedroom and just stared at me for a while.
"Are you ever going to talk to me?"
I shook my head, boiling mad and disapproving. "I need some time to clear my head."
He then sat on the floor across from me. "How can we do that?"
I said, "I can do that by myself."
After a while of staring into space, I build up the courage to tell him exactly how I feel. "I am incredibly hurt and angry." I look at him right in the eye, unblinking. "Did you really hold an internship at Intel?"
He stuttered a bit, then I aske him again, more forceful this time. He finally said, "...no."

I start to go off about how he has ruined the good chances and opportunities for me here, and how he only set me back, not helped me get ahead. He's ruined it for me, and I had to quit both of my jobs without a 2 weeks notice, and move back in with my parents. I rant and cry, starting to bawl because I was starting to realize how much I was leaving- the good, and the bad.

He then got up and walked into the bedroom. After a little while, it started to get eerie, and too quiet. I build up the courage and push the door open a little to make sure my instincts weren't correct. Alas, they were: he was staring at the loaded handgun in the holster, less than a few inches away to reach out and use it. The look in his eyes when he looked back at me made me fearful.
"Please, do NOT hurt yourself!!!"
He tensed up and screamed, "You are not the one to make that desision! GET OUT!!!"

I immediately BOLTED out the door, crying in a panicked fear. Either he was going to kill himself, or someone else- and I'm the nearest person to him.
Luckily I had my phone in my hand the entire time, and I ran down the flight of stairs and called 911. The police arrived in many squad cars and parked far away, so if he decided to come outside, he wouldn't be able to see him and risk open fire. They eventually manage to calm me down enough to give me more information about him, and after a while, manage to get him to walk outside with his hands up. They then took him to the hospital at the psych ward for a mental evaluation.

Things happened after that, like the police escorting me back to him apartment so I could pack a bag and couch surf, and having endless phone calls and Facebook notifications of people making sure I was okay. Truth is, I am totally fine. I am now starting to realize that moving out of here an being with my parents is really going to get me back on track with life. I won't have to work all of the time and panic about rent and bills, I can go to school for Massage Therapy, and eventually I'll move back to this city an do great things for others and myself.


Sorry it took do long to post the entire story. I have been very busy (my last day of work was yesterday) and I will be gathering my things from that apartment in less than an hour. Thank you for all of your best wishes. Everything is going to be just fine! :)
 
Not that it really matters now, but do you think that ranting and crying to him after he told you the truth for once was the best thing to do? I mean, clearly he has an issue, and one not so easy to break free from. I personally would have left way before you did, so I'm not blaming you, but a little understanding goes a long way. He probably has this lying thing for a deep-set reason. One that he may not even know himself.

Either way, I'm glad you're safe and he's safe now. And I'm glad it ended before it became worse than it should have been.
 
That's really one heck of a day you went through with all that. I'm glad you called the police.

And the most I'm really glad to read about is the fact that you're keeping positive and moving ahead. That's a good attitude for a situation like this and it's not easy but I hope you continue to remain strong and keep a positive mind about this. Things will get better. *hugs*
 
VanillaCreme said:
Not that it really matters now, but do you think that ranting and crying to him after he told you the truth for once was the best thing to do? I mean, clearly he has an issue, and one not so easy to break free from. I personally would have left way before you did, so I'm not blaming you, but a little understanding goes a long way. He probably has this lying thing for a deep-set reason. One that he may not even know himself.

Either way, I'm glad you're safe and he's safe now. And I'm glad it ended before it became worse than it should have been.

You're right, it doesn't matter.

I get that you're trying to be understanding of this dude and everything, but right now: Inspire is getting away and taking charge of her life. We don't need to analyze what "could have been" or "what would be". What was done was done. He can figure out his own damn reasons.

Inspire: you are strong, and you are doing well.
 
Sarah_Lbnz said:
VanillaCreme said:
Not that it really matters now, but do you think that ranting and crying to him after he told you the truth for once was the best thing to do? I mean, clearly he has an issue, and one not so easy to break free from. I personally would have left way before you did, so I'm not blaming you, but a little understanding goes a long way. He probably has this lying thing for a deep-set reason. One that he may not even know himself.

Either way, I'm glad you're safe and he's safe now. And I'm glad it ended before it became worse than it should have been.

You're right, it doesn't matter.

I get that you're trying to be understanding of this dude and everything, but right now: Inspire is getting away and taking charge of her life. We don't need to analyze what "could have been" or "what would be". What was done was done. He can figure out his own damn reasons.

Inspire: you are strong, and you are doing well.

I understand where Vanilla was coming from. What's also imporant is that you all should know that I was his mentor, counselor, friend, and lover all at once. He shared his thoughts with me more than he did with anyone else, so I got the inside look of what was going on in his head. I dealt with the lying for so long because I had hopes he would change his ways and I thought I could help him become the better person for himself and others. I was foolish to think that I could handle all of the responsibility and stress of trying to do everything I could for him - it was exhausting, because he never took care of himself, never cleaned up, never did his laundry, and lived in his FILTHY apartment (which I constantly cleaned). Yes, I did have an idea about his problems, and yes, he needs help, and yes, I did put myself in his shoes. After I discovered who he really was, I no longer wanted to help him because of his real intentions.

I had my fair share of feeling sorry for him, and all it did for me was put me into a spiraling depression. I usually am not selfish like this but I need self care. I have been ignoring myself for way too long, and that needs to change.


ladyforsaken said:
That's really one heck of a day you went through with all that. I'm glad you called the police.

And the most I'm really glad to read about is the fact that you're keeping positive and moving ahead. That's a good attitude for a situation like this and it's not easy but I hope you continue to remain strong and keep a positive mind about this. Things will get better. *hugs*

I am trying my best to keep a good attitude about all of this. Being with my family has already been so incredibly healing. I really needed this, and they are more than willing to help me get back on my feet. I'll be going to Massage Therapy school in the fall, I'll be learning how to drive again, and most importantly, I'll have the freedom to concentrate on myself and my well-being. Also a cute little bonus: my bunny hasn't been able to leave his pen since I moved in with my now-ex, due to the filth on the carpet, but now he is happily running around the house and having the time of his life! :) Went to the Saturday Market and got fresh, organic veggies for his daily salad and he's much happier. This move was for the better.


Scotsman said:
You take care, inspire. Happier days are ahead I'm sure.

Thank you, I appreciate your response. :) Much happier days are already ahead- I can see them just a few feet away! ^__^


Hearmenow2012 said:
Take care of yourself Inspire. Our thoughts will remain with you (I am sure). It will get better even after everything that has happened. The best is yet to come :)

Thanks so much! Everyone here has been so supportive, and I greatly appreciate everyone's kindness. You all are so awesome. It's already been wonderful here, being with my family. Especially on Father's Day, because I get to be with the most amazing father in the world- my Dad! :)


*Sammy* said:
Sorry coming late into this too,

From what i have read tho you have done whats best for you hun. I'm sorry you have had to leave your job but my god i am so glad to hear you are moving out. Your still so young at 21 and have a long healthy life ahead of you, you don't need someone like him holding you back. My thoughts are with you and good luck moving tomorrow/today.

Hope you update us to how your coping as soon as you can *hugs*

Your words touch me. :) thank you for being so kind! I am going to try hard to remain single, because the most important relationship I need to focus on is the relationship with myself, and my family. I have been seeking the attention from men for so long, and I want to change my ways and my life. I'll get there... I have to promise myself. <3
 
^I'm really happy to hear about your progress Inspire. It's good that you've got a very strong and supportive family.

And yay, a happy bunny all over again. :)
 

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