John finally realises that what he's he been stuffing into every orifice,including his pockets,weren't Malteezers,but goat ****! His mouth was full of it,his pockets were full of it,in short,John was just a pile of walking goat ****!
He spit out the goat ****,tore off his clothes,and jumped into a nearby lake. After an hour of gargling,and scrubbing,John emerged from the lake clean but stark naked. "Why that dirty little Zogonian loving,two timing,shitbag Arnie must have been behind this" he figured.Then he sat on the lake side to work out a cunning plan.Three seconds later,he had it,and started to build a fire. When the the fire was good and smokey,
John started sending smoke signals,using a dead raccoon he found nearby. The signals read,"Courtney,need clothes,some beer,and that nut of a Toon,if you can find him!" After editing the smoke for spelling mistakes,John sat back and waited.
He didn't have to wait long,before Courtney arrived in her stretch Hummer,with the Sci Fi toon lounging in the back sipping Jack Daniels.
Courtney got out,and threw some clothes at John,and said."Put these on quick before I get horny" John obliged,and then walked to the back of the Hummer with Courtney,and on the way he cracked a beer,for it was a very long Hummer.When they reached the back,John and Courtney got in,and confronted the Toon."We got some serious **** going down here." said John,and Sci Fi replied, "What's in it for me?" "Cookies,toon,freaking hundreds of em!" John retorted. "Leave it to me." said the toon,and he jumped out the Hummer,and started to cut a hole in the sky.John and Courtney stood back,and looked on in amazement,and faster than you could say Warner Brothers,he was gone.
John and Courtney were just finishing the last of the beer,when Sci Fi dropped back through the hole with Arnie and Sweet pee,and the entire crew of the Zogonian battle cruiser in tow! As John was about to ask where all the cookies were,they were all showered with thousands,upon thousands of packets of cookies!
"How the f**k did you manage that!" John asked the toon (previously known as Sci Fi) "Just the magic of Hollywood" he replied,and then the biggest cookie party in the entire universe began.
Our cookies!!!!!!!
I now renounce everything connected to this thread,as I'm starting to believe it's real!