My extensive rant on women, relationships, dating, PUA, and society

[firebird85]

I cannot argue about the dating site. I do have rules on my dating site profile. It says you must be able to spell better than a third grader...

Dammit! >_<

You just want my butt secks.

don't you have kids to tend to? have fun making guys incel too

With a sense of humour like that, it's obvious why ladies are dying to meet you

Do you honestly, honestly believe that women make guys incelibate? Really?

Because if you 100% deep down feel that it's all womenkind's fault that you haven't got a girlfriend (when you have admitted you can't befriend a girl!), that's actually very sad.

If you're not just trolling, I pity you. I honestly hope you get a girlfriend in future and that it changes your perspective on this junk you buy into.

I've tried to help you all I can, but frankly you don't seem to have the nuts to actually try and talk to girls more and what have you. After all, it's far easier to just abuse a gender online rather than look at your own problems and solve them.

I can't befriend a girl because I just don't exist to them. Never did. I've tried some things of my own in the past (even when I was 16, and later, that I haven't mentioned). Someone else in this thread made a good point about how a guy who's living a life where he's like in his 20's and never had a girlfriend, most guys like this will keep it a secret and not discuss it in real life or tell anybody because you can risk getting yourself ostracized, especially by girls, I agree with that strongly. Being yourself is a load of crap, that's a recipe for disaster. I've never been told I was attractive, or cute, or befriended by girls, like I told you. That messes with a guys mind after a while. Another point the other poster made, that's really the type of situation a guy has to be in or the reality a guy has to live with to really see things for what they are and what's going on.

 

[nerdygirl]

Well, you exist to quite a few females now... and you've done a marvelous job proving you'd be an awesome friend. Where do I sign up?

 

[firebird85]

Outside your house for one.

[video=youtube]

 

[nerdygirl]

But gee, I just got back home.

 

[Limlim]

So you'd never go to her house for a visit? That seems kinda silly. If you were friends I'd imagine it would be fun to have like... a house party. You could play twister and jenga.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I can't befriend a girl because I just don't exist to them. Never did. I've tried some things of my own in the past (even when I was 16, and later, that I haven't mentioned). Someone else in this thread made a good point about how a guy who's living a life where he's like in his 20's and never had a girlfriend, most guys like this will keep it a secret and not discuss it in real life or tell anybody because you can risk getting yourself ostracized, especially by girls, I agree with that strongly. Being yourself is a load of crap, that's a recipe for disaster. I've never been told I was attractive, or cute, or befriended by girls, like I told you. That messes with a guys mind after a while. Another point the other poster made, that's really the type of situation a guy has to be in or the reality a guy has to live with to really see things for what they are and what's going on.

First of all, if you're actually serious about wanting to talk through this stuff, feel free to PM me and we'll have a private discussion. It'll be less pressured.

I have already said that there are elements to your argument that have some (limited) basis in reality:

- Girls have it easier when it comes to finding casual, meaningless sex, because many guys want that. And the guys that want that on a regular basis are usually shallow, dumb and easy to attract.

- Yes, men can feel down when they've not had a GF and understandably it's embarrassing to discuss it with people in some social settings. I know this first hand.

That's about it though, all this "women do this", "incel" that, "apologists" stuff is pure crap.

You know what I find most insulting? That last bit of your post. As if you're the only guy that suffers through this stuff! Lol

I've felt ******* **** in the past over these kind of things. I've felt like I will forever be single and alone, I will never find a girl just to give me a simple hug because relationships don't exist for me.

To state that we all don't understand your point of view because we haven't "seen it for ourselves" is just arrogance/ignorance, and it paints you out as a complete dick.

So...let's forget you said that, and wipe the slate clean, yeah?

I can't befriend a girl because I just don't exist to them. Never did. I've tried some things of my own in the past (even when I was 16, and later, that I haven't mentioned).

At some point in your life a girl you've see more than once MUST HAVE:

- Looked at you
- Walked near you
- Talked to someone you know

If you can honestly say not one of those three things has ever happened, I'm just going to have to call BS. You'd have to live your days in a nuclear bunker for those things not to have ever happened.

The next step is just saying "hi". That's all you have to do. I assume you get on okay with guys? Just talk exactly the same to a girl, but without any crude or vulgar comments or language.

If you can talk to guys on even a rare basis, you can talk to girls too. It's practically the same. Just forget the object of your attention has curvy bits and an effeminate face and talk. Pretend you're asexual.

Being yourself is a load of crap, that's a recipe for disaster. I've never been told I was attractive, or cute, or befriended by girls, like I told you. That messes with a guys mind after a while.

This is where I start to really strongly disagree with you. Though I suppose it depends on who "yourself" is. Are you a naturally polite and friendly person? Do you treat other people with respect?

Ask yourself some deep questions about your attitude if you're finding that being yourself isn't making you friends (female or otherwise) - it's a pretty good sign that however you conduct yourself is perhaps abrasive.

Plus you say things like "recipe for disaster", yet right now you're single and totally lacking friends who are female because they apparently can't relate to you. I'd argue the only thing more disasterous than that would be people who are only into you because you have a fake personality.

 

[tangerinedream]

Outside your house for one.

That sounds vaguely threatening, actually.

 

[nerdygirl]

So you'd never go to her house for a visit? That seems kinda silly. If you were friends I'd imagine it would be fun to have like... a house party. You could play twister and jenga.

You should come over and play Twister with me. Naked Twister.

Outside your house for one.

That sounds vaguely threatening, actually.

You mean it wasn't just me?

 

[tangerinedream]

There's not a whole lot of difference between "whining" about your problems, and generally being bitter and obnoxious as a result of them.

To address your mistaken views on whining and venting, you should bear in mind that there is a huge difference between whining and venting about something.

Anyone can get frustrated and angry. Venting is sort of like a pressure-release valve to get some relief; otherwise, all that negative energy builds up and **** festers. THAT is a recipe for disaster.

The thing is, people can get frustrated, vent a bit and then move on and continue the forward movement in their life. No shame there.


Whining, on the other hand, is usually fruitless bitching and moaning about one's situation without doing anything to change it. Often, the whiner doesn't even see that he or she is pissing and moaning about something that has a solution. Everything is all about how unfair life is and everyone else has it easier, blaming everyone else for his problems without taking ANY responsibility for his own actions or taking control of those aspects that he CAN control, blah-blah-blah, and then rounds it off with a little bratty mental foot-stomp as if then people will bend over and accede to the whiner's demands.

Dude, **** that ****. This is what I mean when I say that only babies or children whine, and they do so because they don't know better. There is no excuse for an adult to whine about anything.

And to address a later comment of yours, I am not bitter even though I've been through pretty crappy ****. Whether or not I can get a date on some Friday night has been the least of my problems. However, I don't blame the undeserving for my trials, because some **** has no one to blame. Doesn't mean that I don't get angry or frustrated, though I try to let that act as my motivation to make some changes.

I am disgusted by those who sit back and actively blame everyone else for **** that isn't even their fault, as in faulting an entire segment of society just because they have tits and ovaries.

---

Outside your house for one.

That sounds vaguely threatening, actually.

You mean it wasn't just me?

Not at all. It was creepy. If someone said that to my IRL I'd have felt threatened.

 

[A Desolate Soul]

This is OP:

 

[Pheenix]

This thread is now about beards.

Did you see this ****?

 

[A Desolate Soul]

This thread is now about beards.

Did you see this ****?

HORY SHEIT

 

[tangerinedream]

Many women actually say they have the right to be picky since they give childbirth and have periods. I don't necessarily agree with that but it is what it is.

This gave me major lols.

I have never, ever heard a woman say that because we bleed monthly and have kids that that gives us the right to be picky. I've heard women say that it gives us the right to be bitchy once a month though.

That's some funny **** right there.

I've heard people use what I like to call the "biology argument" to explain women's pickiness, about wanting only the best seed for their eggs and whatnot, but I've NEVER heard it put like, "Well, I can be picky because I'm OTR, *******."

Again, thanks for the laughs.

Also, this thread makes me think that blackhole is 100% onto something with his "manchild" posts. I've counted at least 3 of them here in this thread.

---

This thread is now about beards.

Did you see this ****?

HORY SHEIT

Now THAT'S a manly-man!!

 

[holsten1]

IT IS DENIABLE!!! Unless you're telling me I'm not at least slightly attractive. Not only have I stood somewhere in a club without getting attention from a ton of guys, but I've stood somewhere in a club without getting attention from one guy.

I cannot argue about the dating site. I do have rules on my dating site profile. It says you must be able to spell better than a third grader, and you shouldn't contact me for casual sex. I feel no shame for those rules.

I wouldn't know. Anyways I'm not saying this is the case 100% of the time, I'm sure there's plenty of exceptions to the rule, but I think it's kinda obvious that most of the time that's just how things work. Obviously there will be times when women won't get that sort of attention, but you do seem to be referring to specific times, rather than in general. Presumably theres been times when that wasn't the case.

Those kind of rules aren't what I'm talking about, I'm on about girls with huge lists of rules for messaging them and do's and dont's and stuff like that, which just seems entirely pointless. Obviously there are girls that don't have these. Again, if I was talking in absolutes i apologise, thats not how i see it, but I do think that's the case far more often for women than it is for men. Like I said previously, I don't think this is some biological predispotion women have or anything, I'm sure there are some parts of the world where it's completely the other way around.

To address your mistaken views on whining and venting, you should bear in mind that there is a huge difference between whining and venting about something.

Anyone can get frustrated and angry. Venting is sort of like a pressure-release valve to get some relief; otherwise, all that negative energy builds up and **** festers. THAT is a recipe for disaster.

The thing is, people can get frustrated, vent a bit and then move on and continue the forward movement in their life. No shame there.


Whining, on the other hand, is usually fruitless bitching and moaning about one's situation without doing anything to change it. Often, the whiner doesn't even see that he or she is pissing and moaning about something that has a solution. Everything is all about how unfair life is and everyone else has it easier, blaming everyone else for his problems without taking ANY responsibility for his own actions or taking control of those aspects that he CAN control, blah-blah-blah, and then rounds it off with a little bratty mental foot-stomp as if then people will bend over and accede to the whiner's demands.

Point taken. Still, I don't really think there's a whole lot of difference on the internet, especially as you don't really know if people are making efforts to change their situation or not. And I don't really think OP was expecting by posting this that anyone was going to accede to his demands. Anyways I have no real problem with what you're saying here, you just came across in your first post like you were saying people shouldn't complain about their situations at all. I don't think people should just whine and do nothing at all about it either, and I don't think that OP is 100% right, but I think there's a lot of truth in some of it. I think it's just the way things are in general at the moment, and people have to deal with it individually, I'm not saying anything really could/should be done about it, it just seems like people were writing the whole thing off as entirely imaginary, and it's not. I see why people get offended by the implication that all women are this way, because not all women are, but I think a lot of men are equally offended by the implication that it's just as easy for them to meet women, when most of the time it isn't.

 

[Limlim]

So you'd never go to her house for a visit? That seems kinda silly. If you were friends I'd imagine it would be fun to have like... a house party. You could play twister and jenga.

You should come over and play Twister with me. Naked Twister.

Naked Jenga would probably be somewhat less interesting.

 

[tangerinedream]

To address your mistaken views on whining and venting, you should bear in mind that there is a huge difference between whining and venting about something.

Anyone can get frustrated and angry. Venting is sort of like a pressure-release valve to get some relief; otherwise, all that negative energy builds up and **** festers. THAT is a recipe for disaster.

The thing is, people can get frustrated, vent a bit and then move on and continue the forward movement in their life. No shame there.


Whining, on the other hand, is usually fruitless bitching and moaning about one's situation without doing anything to change it. Often, the whiner doesn't even see that he or she is pissing and moaning about something that has a solution. Everything is all about how unfair life is and everyone else has it easier, blaming everyone else for his problems without taking ANY responsibility for his own actions or taking control of those aspects that he CAN control, blah-blah-blah, and then rounds it off with a little bratty mental foot-stomp as if then people will bend over and accede to the whiner's demands.

Point taken. Still, I don't really think there's a whole lot of difference on the internet, especially as you don't really know if people are making efforts to change their situation or not. And I don't really think OP was expecting by posting this that anyone was going to accede to his demands.

His tendency to blame his problems on a "rigged system" and then long tangents off on why women have it easier led me to believe that his was more fruitless bitching. I could be mistaken, of course.

I see why people get offended by the implication that all women are this way, because not all women are, but I think a lot of men are equally offended by the implication that it's just as easy for them to meet women, when most of the time it isn't.

Except, I haven't seen anyone make any claims here that is IS easy for guys to meet women.

Honestly, I think that it is very hard to meet people for a real relationship IF the only places people frequent are bars and clubs. I mean, c'mon. The only things you can reliably pick up in those places are sluts, man-whores and raging case of the herp.

Because we've shifted away from being an outwardly social society to a more inwardly social one (oxymoron alert?), people interact more with others in online formats than in RL social ones except for drinking venues. it's still easier to go out to a RL bar and be social. For some people, that is their only RL social outlet and that is kind of sad.

I think that people now have to extend MORE effort to meet people face-to-face than even 20 years ago. So really, it's harder for everyone than it used to be.

 

[holsten1]

Except, I haven't seen anyone make any claims here that is IS easy for guys to meet women.

Honestly, I think that it is very hard to meet people for a real relationship IF the only places people frequent are bars and clubs. I mean, c'mon. The only things you can reliably pick up in those places are sluts, man-whores and raging case of the herp.

Because we've shifted away from being an outwardly social society to a more inwardly social one (oxymoron alert?), people interact more with others in online formats than in RL social ones except for drinking venues. it's still easier to go out to a RL bar and be social. For some people, that is their only RL social outlet and that is kind of sad.

I think that people now have to extend MORE effort to meet people face-to-face than even 20 years ago. So really, it's harder for everyone than it used to be.

No, no one has made the claim that it's easy, I didn't say that, but people seem to be shocked at the suggestion that it's harder for men in general.

And yeah, it's harder to meet people for everyone for the most part nowadays, but that doesn't detract from how much harder it is for men. I'm not just talking about clubs/bars, although its definitely a lot more noticeable at a club or something. Most people don't really go to clubs looking for someone to start a relationship with anyway, but when people do I still think it's a lot easier for women.

 

[tangerinedream]

Except, I haven't seen anyone make any claims here that is IS easy for guys to meet women.

Honestly, I think that it is very hard to meet people for a real relationship IF the only places people frequent are bars and clubs. I mean, c'mon. The only things you can reliably pick up in those places are sluts, man-whores and raging case of the herp.

Because we've shifted away from being an outwardly social society to a more inwardly social one (oxymoron alert?), people interact more with others in online formats than in RL social ones except for drinking venues. it's still easier to go out to a RL bar and be social. For some people, that is their only RL social outlet and that is kind of sad.

I think that people now have to extend MORE effort to meet people face-to-face than even 20 years ago. So really, it's harder for everyone than it used to be.

No, no one has made the claim that it's easy, I didn't say that, but people seem to be shocked at the suggestion that it's harder for men in general.

And yeah, it's harder to meet people for everyone for the most part nowadays, 1. but that doesn't detract from how much harder it is for men. I'm not just talking about clubs/bars, although its definitely a lot more noticeable at a club or something. Most people don't really go to clubs looking for someone to start a relationship with anyway, 2.but when people do I still think it's a lot easier for women.

I almost agree with you. lol

1. I don't believe that it is harder for men to meet women than vice versa.

2. Yes, it is absolutely easier for women in general to go to a bar and HOOK UP for random, meaningless sex.

But, it is NOT easier for women to go to a bar and find that "relationship guy," because it's pretty damned likely that he's not there trawling for a life-mate.

 

[holsten1]

I almost agree with you. lol

1. I don't believe that it is harder for men to meet women than vice versa.

2. Yes, it is absolutely easier for women in general to go to a bar and HOOK UP for random, meaningless sex.

But, it is NOT easier for women to go to a bar and find that "relationship guy," because it's pretty damned likely that he's not there trawling for a life-mate.

I don't think it's by any means easy for women to meet guys for relationships in bars/clubs, but I still would say it's definitely easier for the most part. Also, said "relationship guys" are generally the type of guys that remain single until adulthood, and it seems to me that for the most part it's because usually they lack certain qualities women expect, that mostly only the meaningless sex type guys seem to have.

Also the fact that it's much easier for women to hook up for casual sex is surely significant, no? Whilst it's not serious by nature, often that in itself leads to relationships. I also think that women finding it easier to get casual sex changes the dynamic in general, because even most of the women who can't find relationships, will have had SOME attention from men, even if it's not the kind of attention they want. They can at least know that they're in some way attractive to men, and just haven't been meeting the right people etc. It seems a lot easier for a man to see himself as entirely unnatractive to women, and totally hopeless, after a few negative experiences, and as women rarely initiate, it leads to them just not ever really talking to women. Usually women put off by their experiences with men, will still have men approach them at times, so it's harder to fall totally into negativity about the whole thing.

Also, as I said, I'm not just talking about bars. At college, school, the workplace etc, i'd still say it's mostly easier for women to meet guys for a relationship. For example, it's generally a lot more acceptable for a woman to be shy/awkward in these situations, whereas, shy men seem to always be written off as creepy or boring. Unless a girl is shy in a way that makes her rude, then people don't seem to mind at all.

Anyway I'm beginning to feel like I'm defending men, and attacking women or something. I'm not at all. To be honest I'm not entirely in agreement with anything I've seen in this thread. All I'm really saying is societies pretty ******, and ALL people have unrealistic expectations of others, but men especially seem to have expectations of them that are unbelievably hard to meet all of for the most part. I may have strayed from that point a little. Also I realise this is an over the top response to just 1 or 2 sentences, I just feel the need to clarify where I stand on this to avoid sounding like a bigot or something.

 

[firebird85]

One has to wonder why whenever a guy has difficulties doing something the response is always "stop blaming the world for your problems" or "stop doing this, stop saying that, etc", almost like some sort of opression but when it's a woman the response is always "those evil men". I think humans have been programmed to be anti-male, especially since the rise of feminism, and since the mid-90's especially.

One thing the guy in those videos said really made sense, people were telling him "you heterosexual men need to change because you're not desireable to females". But a woman doesn't have to change or do anything because her status has been elevated to such a high level.

I'll tell you this is unprecedented. Never before has a woman had this much power in the dating scene and relationships.