Need advice for self reflection/introspection/awareness

[Wayfarer]

The title pretty much says it all. More in detail, there's plenty of material online (and not) to "find out stuff about yourself" or "your values" or "purpose" or what have you. The problem with all these, is that they assume one can answer questions about themselves, which I agree, should be probably the most common case.
However I find myself unable to answer almost anything. I have tried a good number of different techniques to gain more self awareness and hopefully insights... for example journaling, meditating. I have tried to make those become a habit.
However it's been years I've been at it, without gaining much of anything. As such I have concluded that I must be going about it the wrong way, or maybe these methods are not suitable for me, or maybe I'm unconsciously preventing them to work myself.
I have, in the past, been to a therapist for a while, although for different issues, but even that didn't really work in any way. (just for statistics, I've tried two different ones, which isn't a lot, but still).

That being said, I was wondering if any of you had some advice about practices I could try to develop a better sense of self awareness... know myself a little better, hopefully. If any of you has felt or is feeling similarly, or not, I'd still be interested in hearing about what has been working/is working for you.

 

[Finished]

Maybe try not focusing on yourself. Instead imagine other people in different situations. Then think what you would do in their sitation and write it down almost like you're writing any article about someone else you are watching.

For example, a woman walks out of a store with her hands full and she drops her keys while a guy is heading towards her. Should the guy help her even if she isn't attractive? Or, should he just mind his own business. What do you think he should do?

 

[user 139760]

The title pretty much says it all. More in detail, there's plenty of material online (and not) to "find out stuff about yourself" or "your values" or "purpose" or what have you. The problem with all these, is that they assume one can answer questions about themselves, which I agree, should be probably the most common case.
However I find myself unable to answer almost anything. I have tried a good number of different techniques to gain more self awareness and hopefully insights... for example journaling, meditating. I have tried to make those become a habit.
However it's been years I've been at it, without gaining much of anything. As such I have concluded that I must be going about it the wrong way, or maybe these methods are not suitable for me, or maybe I'm unconsciously preventing them to work myself.
I have, in the past, been to a therapist for a while, although for different issues, but even that didn't really work in any way. (just for statistics, I've tried two different ones, which isn't a lot, but still).

That being said, I was wondering if any of you had some advice about practices I could try to develop a better sense of self awareness... know myself a little better, hopefully. If any of you has felt or is feeling similarly, or not, I'd still be interested in hearing about what has been working/is working for you.

We have a tendency to overthink and oversimplify everything. I had to take a step back, dial everything back down, strip down to basics. Start from there.
What do you think is important? One or two words. Who are you? One or two words. Simple. Fast. Then you build on it.
It's not much...but it helped me. Less instead of more.

 

[okidoke]

It’s a deep question, if you want it to be. I guess you could also ask yourself why do you need to know? You just are who you are. You do the things you do or don’t do.

I think if you put yourself in different situations, even hypothetically, ask yourself what you would do. Obviously you would base your decisions on beliefs you carry.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Who's asking, and who the heck would I be to answer..? heh.

 

[Kar]

There was a deep self authoring toolkit that I got a lot out of. It takes quite a bit of time so something you have to stick with. Not something you can do in an hour but took me maybe a month. https://selfauthoring.com/

 

[Wayfarer]

We have a tendency to overthink and oversimplify everything. I had to take a step back, dial everything back down, strip down to basics. Start from there.
What do you think is important? One or two words. Who are you? One or two words. Simple. Fast. Then you build on it.
It's not much...but it helped me. Less instead of more.

well, the thing is I can't answer those lol

It’s a deep question, if you want it to be. I guess you could also ask yourself why do you need to know? You just are who you are. You do the things you do or don’t do.

I think if you put yourself in different situations, even hypothetically, ask yourself what you would do. Obviously you would base your decisions on beliefs you carry.

well, suffering is a way for the body/brain to tell the current situation is not ok. Therefore, a change must be made, but to make it and improve the current situation, a sense of direction would be very welcome.

Maybe try not focusing on yourself. Instead imagine other people in different situations. Then think what you would do in their sitation and write it down almost like you're writing any article about someone else you are watching.

For example, a woman walks out of a store with her hands full and she drops her keys while a guy is heading towards her. Should the guy help her even if she isn't attractive? Or, should he just mind his own business. What do you think he should do?

I guess I could try that.

 

[okidoke]

a sense of direction would be very welcome.

Yes. Start by asking yourself what you don’t want in your life and work on changing that.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I found this recently; and there is this. If any of that is your cup of tea.

I still think that Maxwell Cat is cute as hell; and I don't know a darn thing, lol..



---
You seem self aware enough to me, man. There will always be another level to attain; so, you can keep at it if you want to, or try something different.

If there is some essential quality to your Self, that, you seek to know, that you haven't come to know yet, I would guess, you'll find it, or it'll come to you,
eventually.

 

[Abstamyous]

Well, self reflection is as simple as what you did and how you react or feel about what you did. You can approach that by writing out events that have stuck out to you, and what feeling they brought you.
My own journey on self reflection has been through a Step 4 (made a searching and fearless moral inventory). It's drastic, but I would recommend to anyone, whether you are in a recovery program or not.
As for the self awareness, it's a ladder you climb by practicing small efforts within your life. I read a quote the other day that said "become the river and not the rock", meaning to keep flowing and not get stuck on one thing.
When you're not accustomed to digging deep in yourself, it takes a long time to get out of the shallows. I would just suggest allowing yourself all the time in the world, accepting who you are as you are now, while accepting that changes will have to happen. You will find the change, it just be more on its terms than on your own.

 

[Wayfarer]

Just to give an update. I've adopted a rather structured combo of morning/evening journaling and meditation.
Everything so far unchanged. But these things take a long time. Will keep you posted.