NOBODY is laughing/smiling at your ugliness.

[tehdreamer]

I agree with Dreamer, but it's easy said than done to have self-esteem or to have the confidence that you look fine. If it were that easy, then we wouldn't have that problem at all.

It's not easy to over-come negative feelings about yourself. But if no one keeps pointing out how wrong it is to have those negative feelings about yourself, nothing will ever change.

Self-esteem gets boosted when others tell you that you don't suck, you're not ugly, and you're a good person. It helps when someone tells you that your fears of judgment aren't true. I think self-esteem is 2/3rds what others perceive of you.

It's only wrong if the person thinks it's wrong. And usually if they think it to be true, it's not wrong to them.

True. But would you let a person keep calling themselves a ugly, worthless loser if they thought it was true? Wouldn't you try to change their mind and give them examples of why they aren't those things? Nodding your head in agreement or ignoring the remarks isn't how to help them.

A lot of people think they are ugly because they've been called it so many times. I think a person can feel good looking if they are called it enough times as well.

 

[VanillaCreme]

True. But would you let a person keep calling themselves a ugly, worthless loser if they thought it was true? Wouldn't you try to change their mind and give them examples of why they aren't those things? Nodding your head in agreement or ignoring the remarks isn't how to help them.

A lot of people think they are ugly because they've been called it so many times. I think a person can feel good looking if they are called it enough times as well.

No, of course not. Especially if it were someone I cared about. However, people can only be helped if they allow themselves to be. You can't just magically poof them into thinking the way you do. It's not that easy, and simply telling someone positive things doesn't always work. You really can't change how a person thinks if they don't allow you to.

 

[tehdreamer]

Magically, no. Easy, no. I never said it was. It could take weeks, months, years, millennia.. But you have to start somewhere. People don't typically walk up to you and say "Hey, my self-esteem sucks. Do me a favor and tell me I'm pretty"... at least not where I come from. It starts by reinforcing positive thoughts when you see someone filled with negative thoughts. The person may accept or reject those thoughts, but at least you're still trying in some small way.

I've seen quite a few people say things like "I was at xyz and some cute girl smiled at me. She was probably laughing at me because I'm a hideous beast." I don't think statements like that should be ignored and the person not offered and alternative view of the situation.

Most of my horrible self-esteem isn't just from being called ugly. I was never called pretty or given any positive reinforcement that I was a good person. I spent just about all of my life thinking I was utter crap inside and out. A few good compliments and alternative views of negative situations in my life could have prevented so many years of pain.

If saying "NOBODY is laughing/smiling at your ugliness" helps bring a single shred of positivity into someone's life or at least offers a possible alternative view of a negative situation, why is it a bad thing? I think one of the worst feelings is when you look back and can say "No one ever told me that!"

 

[PurpleDays]

My face is hilarious. End of.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^My face is too pitiable to even laugh at. o_o

 

[tehdreamer]

None of this applies to fat people of course. People DO laugh, make fun, discriminate, hate, often with approval of those who are in authority or respected.

The only solution for them is to lose weight and be like other people. The crap about accepting who you are and others accepting your differences, doesn't apply to fat people. The propaganda is too strong, the hate too entrenched.

The fact that it can be extremely difficult for many to lose weight doesn't matter, you're weak, pathetic, worse than a sex offender, if you don't strive to be "normal". If you can't lose weight or have accepted yourself and don't want to, then accept your life will never be peaceful, other people won't leave you in peace or treat you as anything other than scum.

How is this garbage ok, but my posts about being positive are up for debate? Unless it's true. In which case I should go curl up in a corner and die cause I'm fat. Adios.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I didn't agree with that post either. Not everyone laughs at fat people. I don't. I wouldn't even if I wasn't fat.

 

[suckaG]

hmm.

 

[discolemonade]

This thread put a Madonna song in my head.

Just like a prayer I wanna take you there lalalala

 

[TheQuietman]

None of this applies to fat people of course. People DO laugh, make fun, discriminate, hate, often with approval of those who are in authority or respected.

The only solution for them is to lose weight and be like other people. The crap about accepting who you are and others accepting your differences, doesn't apply to fat people. The propaganda is too strong, the hate too entrenched.

The fact that it can be extremely difficult for many to lose weight doesn't matter, you're weak, pathetic, worse than a sex offender, if you don't strive to be "normal". If you can't lose weight or have accepted yourself and don't want to, then accept your life will never be peaceful, other people won't leave you in peace or treat you as anything other than scum.

How is this garbage ok, but my posts about being positive are up for debate? Unless it's true. In which case I should go curl up in a corner and die cause I'm fat. Adios.

I'm fat too. This "garbage" is the experience of my miserable ******* life.

 

[Drama]

My ugliness? Why should I give a damn about anyone who laugh at it? Why should I care? what will I gain by caring? pain? Screw them. People who laugh at others don't DESERVE any attention for they are only fools.

 

[suckaG]

^^^^ I completely concur, Dr Dramaqueen.

 

[PsychoBilli]

My ugliness? Why should I give a damn about anyone who laugh at it? Why should I care? what will I gain by caring? pain? Screw them. People who laugh at others don't DESERVE any attention for they are only fools.

QFT

 

[windowsill]

this is a serious issue for me, because i happen to be actually ugly. i have facial and bodily deformities. I get people staring at me and laughing at me all the time, it creates the most amount of stress for me in social situations.