Nobody really knows how to help me

[Juni]

Are you possibly having anxiety attacks?

Can you bypass certain things? Using your example about hair: could you find a picture on-line with the style you want before you get it cut to show it to the barber?

That could be a contributing factor. I believe that it's just a symptom of my larger mental illnesses though. Not to say anxiety can't be debilitating, but it's not the whole story is all.
Looking pictures up online does help, it's mostly when I can't find an example of something I'm desperately trying to explain but can't put into words.