Not attracted to women my age

[vauxhallastra]

I'm not a Femi-nazi, but since on this site they often complain women (for what I've read) for a society in which men are supposed to be like this and like that, we'll, it's undeniable that they build this society with their own hands.

I think you're making a slight error there, by lumping 'men' into one big group, in the same way that misogynists complain about 'women' as if all women are the same.

A site like this, is for lonely people, and I think it's inevitable that a lot of the men here are going to be unhappy about their relationship to women, because women are so important to men. If a woman is lonely, she usually has options, or she can just tell people that's she's lonely. Men can't really do this, and I think this is why homeless people tend to be overwhelmingly male, successful suicides etc.

So I wouldn't take this site as indicative of 'male attitude towards women'. Although I do take your point that human society is constructed by men, for better or worse.

 

[ardour]

OK, we can't all have a strong and confident attitude. I don't, for example.

That's the usual thing though. The man compensates for the lack of confidence or innate shyness in the woman. They compliment each other that way. It's not meant as a personal attack. But look at it from the perspective of a shy man: We're a plug without a socket (or a socket without a plug, as the case may be). We don't have a match as we bring nothing women want, we just reflect back the self-doubting aspects of themselves they don't like.

 

[Just_another_one]

I think you're making a slight error there, by lumping 'men' into one big group, in the same way that misogynists complain about 'women' as if all women are the same.

A site like this, is for lonely people, and I think it's inevitable that a lot of the men here are going to be unhappy about their relationship to women, because women are so important to men. If a woman is lonely, she usually has options, or she can just tell people that's she's lonely. Men can't really do this, and I think this is why homeless people tend to be overwhelmingly male, successful suicides etc.

So I wouldn't take this site as indicative of 'male attitude towards women'. Although I do take your point that human society is constructed by men, for better or worse.

Don't get me wrong I'm, I'm not blaming all men, I'm talking about a trend I've seen here. And I don't take this site as an evidence for real life too. I try to understand them but I see some big contradictions in their thought.
I won't of course deny that homeless are mostly men and that suicide rate is higher for men, but I also don't think that being able to get a whatever man makes you less lonely... You can be in a relationship and feel alone too if that person is just a placeholder for a social role like a boyfriend or husband

 

[Just_another_one]

That's the usual thing though. The man compensates for the lack of confidence or innate shyness in the woman. They compliment each other that way. It's not meant as a personal attack. But look at it from the perspective of a shy man: We're a plug without a socket (or a socket without a plug, as the case may be). We don't have a match as we bring nothing women want, we just reflect back the self-doubting aspects of themselves they don't like.

I'm sorry if you feel you don't have much to offer. I'm a shy woman, it may be different but I'm sure you can find also many similarities if you look at it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It seems to me that some people don't want to hear the truth. They would rather have their excuses. Several women here have said that they don't overly care much about looks. It's more about how well you mesh and their personality.

MOST of the men I've dated have been shorter than me. I'm tall, but not THAT tall. Men shorter than me would be considered below average. Most of the men I've dated have also been on the lower end of the scale you all seem to want to refer to concerning looks.

Another thing. You all keep saying that women can get a man no matter what. Well, sorry, but so can men, if you lower your standards enough, which is essentially what you are telling women to do. Stop being hypocritical, stop making excuses and look at what you want. Is what you want easy to get? I know for at least some of you, it's not. THAT is your problem. I'm not saying you should change what you want (though, you should at least consider people outside that range, because you never know who will be your "soulmate"), but stop complaining that you haven't yet found the person for you from the small group of people you are willing to date. That and your constant negativity is a real turn off for anyone.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Also, it's utter poppycock that you keep insisting that more attractive people don't struggle to find someone. Sure, maybe not to find someone to ****, but some people want more than that.

 

[vauxhallastra]

Don't get me wrong I'm, I'm not blaming all men, I'm talking about a trend I've seen here. And I don't take this site as an evidence for real life too. I try to understand them but I see some big contradictions in their thought.
I won't of course deny that homeless are mostly men and that suicide rate is higher for men, but I also don't think that being able to get a whatever man makes you less lonely... You can be in a relationship and feel alone too if that person is just a placeholder for a social role like a boyfriend or husband

I've noticed it too, but I think one of the reasons that some men get frustrated these days (and I include myself in this), is that criticising 'women' has become almost completely taboo in real life, whereas criticising 'men' is practically mandatory.

That's not to say that I would agree that 'men' (as a group) don't deserve more criticism than 'women' (as a group).

And it's true. Because I'm lonely, and I'm married, and I'm gorgeous.

 

[ardour]

but I also don't think that being able to get a whatever man makes you less lonely... You can be in a relationship and feel alone too if that person is just a placeholder for a social role like a boyfriend or husband

Oh boy... that's clear an indication of the difference in options between us. We aren't in a position to be looking for a soul mate.

 

[Just_another_one]

Oh boy... that's clear an indication of the difference in options between us. We aren't in a position to be looking for a soul mate.

I would be very curious about getting to personally know all of you that complain about not having a chance of a normal affective life

 

[Diagnosed]

As a socially stunted, now middle-aged guy, this is a problem.

I had to take care of terminally ill parent for years then became a depressed borderline alcoholic for a few more; never got to date, etc. etc. Said all that before.
To sum up I'm mostly not physically attracted to women in my age bracket. They almost look a generation ahead to me.

Am I a creep?

Now I´m on my 60 & I don´t feel I like women my age.... Creepy or not, I like those I used to like when I was 20 and 50

 

[Diagnosed]

I have the same problem. I've tried to date women my age and/or around my age but I just...can't. Of course, it probably doesn't help that I'm a lesbian, but still.

Claps!

Any hetero would agree with those holding similar likes.
Yet, pansexuality (my side) is not liked.

 

[Diagnosed]

I would be very curious about getting to personally know all of you that complain about not having a chance of a normal affective life

Could it be checked watching their timeline in Twitter?


I_ain´t_like_you by the way

 

[Just_another_one]

Could it be checked watching their timeline in Twitter?


I_ain´t_like_you by the way

I have a profile in every possible social BUT twitter

 

[Nerys55]

The thing about attractive is well we all eventually get to the less in looks for many reasons.

 

[vauxhallastra]

I was thinking earlier about the issues discussed in this thread in relation to the current news story about the murder of Gabby Pelito in America.

Obviously it's an appalling tragedy that she died, and you can only feel for her family - but, people die every minute, and I don't think that anyone would deny that the reason her death is making repeated headlines everywhere is because she was young, physically attractive and female (and white).

I know this isn't exactly a revelation, but that's almost my point - we all understand and accept this bias towards young good looking females (whether you consider it a boon or a bane for them), so much so that we don't really even talk about it, even though we all know that if the lady had been 70, or a black man, or whatever, it wouldn't have had half the news coverage.

And I'm not saying I'm somehow above it I hasten to add, that's what made me think about it, because I can say with certainty that with all other things being equal, I will be much more likely to click on a news story with a picture of a good looking woman than a news story with a picture of some sweaty male politician.

 

[Nerys55]

I follow missing persons cases. And like also follow the USA National Parks missing persons. Not seen any non-attractive persons missing yet.

 

[Just_another_one]

Well of course nobody says that society doesn't have its standards and that people are not more attracted and involved in stories whose protagonists are beauty prototypes (white, young, female, beautiful) but it's not that everyone else doesn't have a chance of a normal life. So where's the border? I'm not blond I don't have blue eyes I'm short I'm even no more so young so do I get a chance of a love life or not?

 

[vauxhallastra]

Well of course nobody says that society doesn't have its standards and that people are not more attracted and involved in stories whose protagonists are beauty prototypes (white, young, female, beautiful) but it's not that everyone else doesn't have a chance of a normal life. So where's the border? I'm not blond I don't have blue eyes I'm short I'm even no more so young so do I get a chance of a love life or not?

I think of course it depends what is meant by a "normal" life. I don't think necessarily that being a blonde blue-eyed supermodel is something to wish to be - if you want to be fawned over by shallow men who never tell you the truth, then yeah, I'm sure it's very helpful, but I don't expect that that is ultimately very fulfilling.

 

[Just_another_one]

What I wanted to say it's just the opposite, that having standards in society doesn't make you unworthy of a fulfilling life

 

[user 139760]

I would be very curious about getting to personally know all of you that complain about not having a chance of a normal affective life

I just want to know if you have a sister who's into soon toothless 42 year olds ;-)
I might have to lump myself in that group as well, I don't know. For really different reasons, but I'll have to admit after 14 years of celibacy I'm having difficulty putting "normal" and "affective life" in the same sentence. Trust issues and the like. I'm not going to start complaining about the "Matriarchy" (unless they all show up at my doir at the same time, in which case...I'll unlock it and let them have their way with me )