Questions for both Men and Women.

[Cherubino]

this is unthinkable

 

[Rohini]

we tried to have *** we couldn't figure out the process.

...
I'm speechless

 

[Cherubino]

this is unthinkable

"to be in a relationship with someone if there was no *** involved"

 

[blackdot]

...
I'm speechless

Well, kissing was bad enough. Kissing is the weirdest thing. You put your face directly up to someone else's face and I guess sit there connected or something. We tried kissing but it was just awkward.
*** was just much worse. She was bi-polar and always withdrawn from personal contact and I never had *** ed and I was in my late 30's. The whole process made no sense and went downhill from there.

 

[Rohini]

Well, kissing was bad enough. Kissing is the weirdest thing. You put your face directly up to someone else's face and I guess sit there connected or something. We tried kissing but it was just awkward.
*** was just much worse. She was bi-polar and always withdrawn from personal contact and I never had *** ed and I was in my late 30's. The whole process made no sense and went downhill from there.

Haha Blackdot.. I have to sort of agree with you, kissing is kind of weird...

 

[Finished]

Well, kissing was bad enough. Kissing is the weirdest thing. You put your face directly up to someone else's face and I guess sit there connected or something. We tried kissing but it was just awkward.
*** was just much worse. She was bi-polar and always withdrawn from personal contact and I never had *** ed and I was in my late 30's. The whole process made no sense and went downhill from there.

I love kissing. I miss kissing more then ***. I see a beautiful woman and I think I really want to kiss her instead of thinking I want to have *** with her. I want to buy a simulated kissing device. But, the only ones I've seen are way too basic like pecking a cousin or something. I want a full on deep french kiss. I thought about making one. But, I already have so many projects on my list of things to do now. I can't see getting to it for a long time.

 

[Dotblonde67]

I love kissing. I miss kissing more then ***. I see a beautiful woman and I think I really want to kiss her instead of thinking I want to have *** with her. I want to buy a simulated kissing device. But, the only ones I've seen are way too basic like pecking a cousin or something. I want a full on deep french kiss. I thought about making one. But, I already have so many projects on my list of things to do now. I can't see getting to it for a long time.

Couldn't agree more! I know everyone is different and appreciate this, but for me, I'm very sensual and find kissing a huge turn on. When you look at **** it is 99% hardcore stuff and to me about as far removed from the experience I want. Couples should be able to communicate better in the bedroom if there are issues and in a way that doesn't leave the other person feeling humiliated. Talk about fantasies, maybe try new stuff, but always be who you are... The real you

 

[Cherubino]

 

[Finished]

Couldn't agree more! I know everyone is different and appreciate this, but for me, I'm very sensual and find kissing a huge turn on. When you look at **** it is 99% hardcore stuff and to me about as far removed from the experience I want. Couples should be able to communicate better in the bedroom if there are issues and in a way that doesn't leave the other person feeling humiliated. Talk about fantasies, maybe try new stuff, but always be who you are... The real you

I actually like watching **** where all they do is deep pationate kissing.

 

[Lonely girl 28]

Would you be willing to be in a relationship with someone if there was no *** involved?

I would how bout you?

When I was younger I was in a relationship with a religious (Catholic) person. He was ok with affection but not ***. Didn't bother me at all.

 

[Lonely girl 28]

Question… im trying to design a date night menu, would any of you eat squid? Is that tooo exotic ?

I had fried calamari before. It tastes good!

 

[user 139760]

I actually like watching **** where all they do is deep pationate kissing.

Um, that's not ****, that's every Chick Flick ever

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Couldn't agree more! I know everyone is different and appreciate this, but for me, I'm very sensual and find kissing a huge turn on. When you look at **** it is 99% hardcore stuff and to me about as far removed from the experience I want. Couples should be able to communicate better in the bedroom if there are issues and in a way that doesn't leave the other person feeling humiliated. Talk about fantasies, maybe try new stuff, but always be who you are... The real you

My relationship with **** as a man is that it's a tool. I stop watching **** entirely when I'm in a relationship. But also unless I'm in a relationship, I'm not running around trying to get laid and tbh my hormones and *** drive are honestly just in the way to me. When I'm in a relationship it's totally different, because of context. But when I'm single, my *** drive is just in the damn way.

 

[Claudia1794]

Does it matter who initially started something? For me, I've always been assertive I guess. I see something I want, I go after it. Granted, Ive had to approach some things delicately, some aggressively, some with patience...it varies obviously based on all sorts of things. I can play just about any part to get what I want, if I am the pursuer. Twice in my life I was not and both times were totally ******. Its not fear, its not insecurities, its not some blah blah about past trauma...its about who is driving it. If I didn't initiate it then I am along for the ride. Or does that just sound absurd? I tend to be a bit silly sometimes.

 

[insecure]

I have had such a relationship.
She had a crush on me, but she was married.
We lived a bit far apart as well.
In the end I broke it up, because it simply wasn't possible to continue like that.

 

[Claudia1794]

I have had such a relationship.
She had a crush on me, but she was married.
We lived a bit far apart as well.
In the end I broke it up, because it simply wasn't possible to continue like that.

So you prefer to be the one to initiate something? I used to think I had this belief because of my age but here I am 43 and I still don’t know if Im comfortable with it. True I haven’t had much of anything the past 10 years and I’ve been asked out by other men that I just didn’t think the time was right. Now I don’t know if the situation is right because he chose me and not vice versa.

 

[insecure]

So you prefer to be the one to initiate something? I used to think I had this belief because of my age but here I am 43 and I still don’t know if Im comfortable with it. True I haven’t had much of anything the past 10 years and I’ve been asked out by other men that I just didn’t think the time was right. Now I don’t know if the situation is right because he chose me and not vice versa.

I think it would be better if I took the initiative, but almost every time it was the girl that took the initiative.
It flatters me to think someone really wants me, maybe because I tend to believe no one wants me.
It just might feel different if I had taken the initiative myself.
In that case with the married woman, she took the initiative as well, but she took a while to come out and tell me it was more than friendship.

 

[Finished]

I think it would be better if I took the initiative, but almost every time it was the girl that took the initiative.
It flatters me to think someone really wants me, maybe because I tend to believe no one wants me.
It just might feel different if I had taken the initiative myself.
In that case with the married woman, she took the initiative as well, but she took a while to come out and tell me it was more than friendship.

IMO, if you take the initiative and it requires lots of effort to convince her to date you it will feel better like winning a prize. If someone says yes too easily it makes me worried. Do they say yes to everybody so easily?

 

[Claudia1794]

IMO, if you take the initiative and it requires lots of effort to convince her to date you it will feel better like winning a prize. If someone says yes to easy it makes me worried. Do they say yes to everybody so easily?

What’s too easy?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Does it matter who initially started something? For me, I've always been assertive I guess. I see something I want, I go after it. Granted, Ive had to approach some things delicately, some aggressively, some with patience...it varies obviously based on all sorts of things. I can play just about any part to get what I want, if I am the pursuer. Twice in my life I was not and both times were totally messed. Its not fear, its not insecurities, its not some blah blah about past trauma...its about who is driving it. If I didn't initiate it then I am along for the ride. Or does that just sound absurd? I tend to be a bit silly sometimes.

Starting what in particular?
Because there's differences to me on starting a relationship, starting a sexual encounter, and starting an argument.

I never assume to start a relationship.
Actually I assume to start that I state my attraction to the woman and expect it to just go nowhere. It's when it doesn't fizzle into nowhere that I get confused, actually. I'm used to rejection, I'm not used to NOT rejection.

I don't really do casual sexual encounters, even if I get the pass to do so, because that just seems awkward and very unplanned, unofficial for a way to start a relationship? It's more of a fantasy that I think for practical reasons is probably best kept as a fantasy, as I know basically nobody in a LTR of 5+ years who started off as a fling or FWB.

And as for starting an argument, I actually actively try to avoid them. Sometimes I'll even throw the argument on purpose just because I don't have the energy for it. But if I'm well-rested, I approach argument still from the idea of a formal debate as I learned in debate class in my freshmen year of college: That is, without emotional investment behind my point. In short, if it isn't constructive, than it's destructive, and if it's going to be destructive I'd rather just...not? Because I'm not exactly proud of the explosive blind rage that I've worked oh so very hard for most of my life to learn to control and mellow out, hence my relative passivity most of the time.

I have to be in control of certain things in my life, is the thing. Not necessarily the woman in my life, but certain things about my personal life, such as my finances, living location, employment, etc. Largely because I have no external help or safety net, so I have to be my own safety net and external help, and that can be very hard to do with someone who doesn't respect that, enough that I just wouldn't risk involving myself with a relationship with that person for that reason, which is honestly probably a large contributor as to why I mostly stay single and kind of distant from the dating pool. I like the distance of it though...gives me a clearer headspace most of the time.