Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

No, they'd have incompatible values and ideas about what counts as monogamy.

I can generalize to say most of us wouldn't like the idea of thousands of men masturbating to a girlfriend's naked body online while she does whatever to please them. It's not the same as modelling when it's overtly objectifying oneself for the sexual gratification of strangers. Quite an extreme thing to expect acceptance over this.

This is the answer I automatically expected to be honest lol
I think its a fair point that its incompatible with monogamy for you.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

oooh this is a new perspective, fair enough to the not meeting clients bit. Yeah I agree, I think it is often just a side hustle, usually just doing it to save for a cosmetic procedure or a girls trip.

I think its interesting that you care if your partner works, I've never had a man say anything like that to me lol im intrigued, I have to ask, as not everyone is "working class"...

Do you think you could be with someone maybe who never works, or works but doesn't take it seriously as its more a bit of fun that an actual requirement to a full life?

Most men ideally want a woman that will help build a life with them, rather than establish a life and then just have the woman show up and be like: "What's up? I'm gonna crash on your couch."

Could I be with someone that never works or rarely works but doesn't take it seriously? Yes, but that's because I've developed the ability to separate my emotions from my thoughts. I wouldn't hold her to a committed monogamous relationship, that'd be more of a FWB situation. I like sex, just like any man does, but I don't value sex the way that most people do. Sex is good, but no sex is so good that it's worth me ******* up my life for because I let the wrong person into my life.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Most men ideally want a woman that will help build a life with them, rather than establish a life and then just have the woman show up and be like: "What's up? I'm gonna crash on your couch."

Could I be with someone that never works or rarely works but doesn't take it seriously? Yes, but that's because I've developed the ability to separate my emotions from my thoughts. I wouldn't hold her to a committed monogamous relationship, that'd be more of a FWB situation. I like sex, just like any man does, but I don't value sex the way that most people do. Sex is good, but no sex is so good that it's worth me ******* up my life for because I let the wrong person into my life.

Hmm maybe this a geographical thing, I've never met a man who needs me to help them build a "life" before, like financially anyway. However, that may be due to the age gaps and the geographical locations. I find it interesting and I respect it in someways as I think it's important to know what you require from a partner and what you require from a bit of fun lolz.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Hmm maybe this a geographical thing, I've never met a man who needs me to help them build a "life" before, like financially anyway. However, that may be due to the age gaps and the geographical locations. I find it interesting and I respect it in someways as I think it's important to know what you require from a partner and what you require from a bit of fun lolz.

I'm American. So yes, it's probably a geographical thing. In a Capitalist society, if you aren't born into upper class, you have to fight to survive in low class. I don't exactly believe in love anymore, not in the hopeful, childish way that younger men usually do. That's been kind of brutally beaten out of me over the years by life experiences both outside of and within relationships and the dating pool. The simple answer is, in a country where you have to pay for your own healthcare where there are no passive income jobs for men unless they have specific college degrees, we have to consider the fact that we don't want to end up being homeless by the time that we're 40+ in age due to a series of broken relationships, nor do we want to be "trapped" in a relationship that we aren't happy in, either. Love, ideologically, kind of goes against everything that keeps be balanced. It's one far side perspective counterpointed by its polar opposite, and humans as a whole need balance for a healthy and fulfilling life.

As for fun, I mean, what kind of fun?? Sexual and nonsexual fun are different for me, but both are kind of derivative of debauchery. I am somewhat of a hedonistic person within financial boundaries. I'm not going to book a 2 month trip to Egypt to go see the Valley of the Kings and the Giza Pyramids when I've got rent, utilities, car payments, and business responsibilities I've got to attend to and prioritize, because: That's how you lose your job, by ******* off too much, along with all of the money that you spent while ******* off. BBBuuuttttt whiskey, weed, whips, rope, movies, music and books are all reasonable. Occasionally concerts when they come through, or amusement parks.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm American. So yes, it's probably a geographical thing. In a Capitalist society, if you aren't born into upper class, you have to fight to survive in low class. I don't exactly believe in love anymore, not in the hopeful, childish way that younger men usually do. That's been kind of brutally beaten out of me over the years by life experiences both outside of and within relationships and the dating pool. The simple answer is, in a country where you have to pay for your own healthcare where there are no passive income jobs for men unless they have specific college degrees, we have to consider the fact that we don't want to end up being homeless by the time that we're 40+ in age due to a series of broken relationships, nor do we want to be "trapped" in a relationship that we aren't happy in, either. Love, ideologically, kind of goes against everything that keeps be balanced. It's one far side perspective counterpointed by its polar opposite, and humans as a whole need balance for a healthy and fulfilling life.

As for fun, I mean, what kind of fun?? Sexual and nonsexual fun are different for me, but both are kind of derivative of debauchery. I am somewhat of a hedonistic person within financial boundaries. I'm not going to book a 2 month trip to Egypt to go see the Valley of the Kings and the Giza Pyramids when I've got rent, utilities, car payments, and business responsibilities I've got to attend to and prioritize, because: That's how you lose your job, by ******* off too much, along with all of the money that you spent while ******* off. BBBuuuttttt whiskey, weed, whips, rope, movies, music and books are all reasonable. Occasionally concerts when they come through, or amusement parks.

Omg you don't believe in love?!?! Thats so sad, very interesting perspective though, never thought of this outlook before.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Omg you don't believe in love?!?! Thats so sad, very interesting perspective though, never thought of this outlook before.

I believe that humans have individual perspectives that are all unique unto them. Conflict arises accordingly when two perspectives that aren't the same meet and clash.

By nature of our instincts, we have to have food and shelter. Under enough constraint and desperation for these basic resources, people that supposedly love each other, can and will, destroy each other. Very similarly to cannibalism under extreme starvation situations. I don't like it, but human instinct is what it is.

It isn't that I don't believe in love, so much as it is that it isn't the "be all, end all" for me that it was when I was a child. It kind of can't be, after I've seen what I've seen, been through what I've been through, and learned what I've learned.

 

[Colster]

So, are we to deduce that the protagonist in this debate, the one and only Cenotaph Girl, is a cam girl, Insta model, or wants to be. Enjoys toying with men, although does not need to, nor need to work. Yet, loves romance, provided it's not the middle-class variety, that demands makeup.

 

[Colster]

Someone mentioned dating somebody who doesn't need to work:

4 years ago, or there about, I dated a well known former Page 3, glamour model. We dated for approximately 9 months. Never had an argument or disagreement.

I won't propose to know her exact financial agreements, but I will assume that the image was was grander than the reality. Although, lived in a 15th century farm house, festooned with the latest of everything. Numerous vehicles, mostly Range sports in various guises and condition.

She ran a stables, which took most her time, although she was a devoted animal lover, and this also allowed her time to play with The various toys and heavy equipment around her farm.

My assumption still is, her ex husband ran the farm as a business, along with her children. All her bills were paid, and possibly received either annual allowances, or a percentage of profits, as they become available. The stables was just something she did, profitability was secondary.

She never asked anything of me financially. Most of our time was spent "rolling in the hey" in the farm. Occasionally, we would go into Cambridge or Oxford, and these are the only occasions where money and status came into play. Dinner itself, would usually be unfussed, discreet places. But this would be followed by a club, wherever possible. And once the alcohol flowed, she had to be centre of attention. Even if we arrived early, and there was 12 people in stitu, she would insist only everyone join her party. Hundreds of pounds worth of drinks could be bought, as she fought to be centre of attention. She had to be in everyone's photographs, and needed all the make attention, even when introducing me to them.

Occasionally we would drive to Italy in her huge great pink Range Rover; the only thing that drank more than she did. There were oddities and absurdities in attempts of saving money on the trip. Using specific petrol stations to save perhaps £5. Then contrast this by expensive lunches, or drinks in grand hotels an route.

For a long-time, we were very happy. It was publicly known that we were a couple. Even to this day, I remain in the back catalogue of her various social media platforms, and have never been removed or edited.

Our relationship ended with issues about attention. If my work took me away from her needs, she would act out. It could be anything from an impromptu photo shoot whilst in work; say naked upon a horse, wearing a hat of some significance. This would progress into dozens upon dozens of texts, typically silly messages, sexual advances, jokes; anything for attention. If I was occupied in the evening, it wasn't unheard of her to put in a "show" for her loyal fans, on Facebook, not a paid subscription site that would have paid for this attention. And finally, this could regularly be followed by 3am drunken video calls, for me to come and party in her own bar (They had one of the out buildings covered into a bar/club).

I do still speak to her, although increasingly infrequently. I don't believe we have ever fallen out with each other, or said a bad word against one another. I simply became exhausted with her need for attention.

Neither of us needed to work, least not in the conventional sense. My grandfather was a producer of a branded product, but we grew with a strong work ethic. And you look after those who look after you.

Work is important, it gives a sense of place, community, and value. Often people are driven by genuine appraisal than pure financial rewards.

The modelling mokia, is largely just an excuse to act out, seek attention, and create situations. The truly successful models withdraw from the photo shoots, and use business and investments. It's only the insecure and needy, that live this fantasy in front of the camera. Just as a Sunday league footballer deluded himself with fantasies of the Premier league.

But returning to money in a relationship. I honestly think that whatever works for you, is the right decision. The traditional notion of the male breadwinner and little wifey at home, that's no longer relevant. Men can be kept husbands, just as many women are kept. Financial inequality is not the the issue, rather than the person behind it, and their abuse of power therein.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

So, are we to deduce that the protagonist in this debate, the one and only Cenotaph Girl, is a cam girl, Insta model, or wants to be. Enjoys toying with men, although does not need to, nor need to work. Yet, loves romance, provided it's not the middle-class variety, that demands makeup.

Loool you can deduce that I like to ask questions, thats all. Questions that i'm hearing a lot on YouTube lately or my annoying brother keeps asking me. However, I do love romanceeeee, if there's anything to know about me... it's that lol

Someone mentioned dating somebody who doesn't need to work:

4 years ago, or there about, I dated a well known former Page 3, glamour model. We dated for approximately 9 months. Never had an argument or disagreement.

I won't propose to know her exact financial agreements, but I will assume that the image was was grander than the reality. Although, lived in a 15th century farm house, festooned with the latest of everything. Numerous vehicles, mostly Range sports in various guises and condition.

She ran a stables, which took most her time, although she was a devoted animal lover, and this also allowed her time to play with The various toys and heavy equipment around her farm.

My assumption still is, her ex husband ran the farm as a business, along with her children. All her bills were paid, and possibly received either annual allowances, or a percentage of profits, as they become available. The stables was just something she did, profitability was secondary.

She never asked anything of me financially. Most of our time was spent "rolling in the hey" in the farm. Occasionally, we would go into Cambridge or Oxford, and these are the only occasions where money and status came into play. Dinner itself, would usually be unfussed, discreet places. But this would be followed by a club, wherever possible. And once the alcohol flowed, she had to be centre of attention. Even if we arrived early, and there was 12 people in stitu, she would insist only everyone join her party. Hundreds of pounds worth of drinks could be bought, as she fought to be centre of attention. She had to be in everyone's photographs, and needed all the make attention, even when introducing me to them.

Occasionally we would drive to Italy in her huge great pink Range Rover; the only thing that drank more than she did. There were oddities and absurdities in attempts of saving money on the trip. Using specific petrol stations to save perhaps £5. Then contrast this by expensive lunches, or drinks in grand hotels an route.

For a long-time, we were very happy. It was publicly known that we were a couple. Even to this day, I remain in the back catalogue of her various social media platforms, and have never been removed or edited.

Our relationship ended with issues about attention. If my work took me away from her needs, she would act out. It could be anything from an impromptu photo shoot whilst in work; say naked upon a horse, wearing a hat of some significance. This would progress into dozens upon dozens of texts, typically silly messages, sexual advances, jokes; anything for attention. If I was occupied in the evening, it wasn't unheard of her to put in a "show" for her loyal fans, on Facebook, not a paid subscription site that would have paid for this attention. And finally, this could regularly be followed by 3am drunken video calls, for me to come and party in her own bar (They had one of the out buildings covered into a bar/club).

I do still speak to her, although increasingly infrequently. I don't believe we have ever fallen out with each other, or said a bad word against one another. I simply became exhausted with her need for attention.

Neither of us needed to work, least not in the conventional sense. My grandfather was a producer of a branded product, but we grew with a strong work ethic. And you look after those who look after you.

Work is important, it gives a sense of place, community, and value. Often people are driven by genuine appraisal than pure financial rewards.

The modelling mokia, is largely just an excuse to act out, seek attention, and create situations. The truly successful models withdraw from the photo shoots, and use business and investments. It's only the insecure and needy, that live this fantasy in front of the camera. Just as a Sunday league footballer deluded himself with fantasies of the Premier league.

But returning to money in a relationship. I honestly think that whatever works for you, is the right decision. The traditional notion of the make breadwinner and little wifey at home, that's no longer relevant. Men can be kept husbands, just as many women are kept. Financial inequality is not the the issue, rather than the person behind it, and their abuse of power therein.

Oooh sounds like it started to become a little toxic for you, like you're not allowed to be busy. I think thats a little too much. I can really see it was the attention thing. Attention, is, a drug, and like most addictions it can ruin relationships, even with the most polite and agreeable people. My mum can be like that, she still goes on and on about all the attention she gets, but my dad was super laid back, he didn't really get jealous or anything, he used to say "I dont wanna be the only man to think my wife is attractive" which is a weird thing to say in my opinion lool.

Yeah, I think every relationship is different, I'd quit my job if my future husband told me to..but I'd be sad about it in some ways...

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

So, are we to deduce that the protagonist in this debate, the one and only Cenotaph Girl, is a cam girl, Insta model, or wants to be. Enjoys toying with men, although does not need to, nor need to work. Yet, loves romance, provided it's not the middle-class variety, that demands makeup.

I don't really feel trolled, though.
My three highest values in life are my Time, my Freedom, and my Money, in that order.
I can always just go get more money when I spend it, but when I spend my time it's just gone, and if I don't to things right it costs me my freedom which completely defeats the investment of both my money and my time.

I kind of practice non-attachment, in contrary to what I think would be ideal.
I do this because a persons practices and behaviors are more reflective of who they are as a person, than what they idealistically or ideologically see themselves as/want to aspire to/to have.

I developed this really weird ability to emotionally zero myself out as a sort of defense mechanism, wherein I become 100% logical deductive reasoning within all of my choices, even if it goes against my wants, because my needs are more important than my wants. So in a way, the only internal hangup that I have is my physicality and age, and the unfortunate burden of the human condition, and of external hangups, locale, set and setting---as for the people, meh. I could take them or leave them.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I don't really feel trolled, though.
My three highest values in life are my Time, my Freedom, and my Money, in that order.
I can always just go get more money when I spend it, but when I spend my time it's just gone, and if I don't to things right it costs me my freedom which completely defeats the investment of both my money and my time.

I kind of practice non-attachment, in contrary to what I think would be ideal.
I do this because a persons practices and behaviors are more reflective of who they are as a person, than what they idealistically or ideologically see themselves as/want to aspire to/to have.

I developed this really weird ability to emotionally zero myself out as a sort of defense mechanism, wherein I become 100% logical deductive reasoning within all of my choices, even if it goes against my wants, because my needs are more important than my wants. So in a way, the only internal hangup that I have is my physicality and age, and the unfortunate burden of the human condition, and of external hangups, locale, set and setting---as for the people, meh. I could take them or leave them.

Im happy you dont feel trolled because thats truly not my aim, I try to be as respectful as possible to everyone on here. Sorry fellas, If I over step, its deffo not intentional.

I feel like protecting your emotions is so important, do you think your gender helps you to do that? As a woman I cant imagine being able to do that. I am so emotional, over emotional actually lol when it comes to love anyway.

 

[Willym]

Wow sorry but had to respond to thissss wow this is so insightful,

But I have to say for my example I was thinking you discovered the texts and she just apologised.

Interesting thread, time for my two cents. Guy's wearing eyeliner, gross. Women wearing makeup, personal choice, yet there's an age factor to this as well as self esteem issues.
The text issue;
1, You NEVER really know what's in a persons heart. This comes from a lifetime of personal experience. Most times we don't even know ourselves.
2, People screw up, sometimes badly. You will too and will want to be forgiven. Try not to forget that when you are the one in the position to forgive. Do unto others.
3, Thinking and doing are two different things. Anyone ever dream of disappearing someone who wronged them? Did you? See what I mean.
4, The hard part is to make yourself worth NOT losing. I couldn't do it, can you?

 

[Finished]

oooh this is a new perspective, fair enough to the not meeting clients bit. Yeah I agree, I think it is often just a side hustle, usually just doing it to save for a cosmetic procedure or a girls trip.

Yeah, I'm sure I've put a lot of strippers through college. That's what they say they needed the money for anyway. I don't think they would lie about that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yeah, I'm sure I've put a lot of strippers through college. That's what they say they needed the money for anyway. I don't think they would lie about that.

I have actually known a lot of strippers. It's about 50/50 on the college story, but yeah, a good majority of them use that story...at least in my area. lol

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Im happy you dont feel trolled because thats truly not my aim, I try to be as respectful as possible to everyone on here. Sorry fellas, If I over step, its deffo not intentional.

I feel like protecting your emotions is so important, do you think your gender helps you to do that? As a woman I cant imagine being able to do that. I am so emotional, over emotional actually lol when it comes to love anyway.

I don't really think it has much to do with me being a man. It might, but I don't think that it does.

While I'm not Buddhist, I do practice some Buddhist practices, nor am I Hindu but also practice some Hindu practices as well. I'm very philosophical, and very heavily into mysticism, and I have been that way for roughly a little over half my life now.

I think it's more of a developmental headspace. While I lack social skills, I have well developed critical thinking skills. I also have a career in management, which helps that develop more, because you need to be able to make logical deductive reasoning decisions in management, sometimes rather quickly and under a significant amount of stress, and that's what management ACTUALLY is--higher levels of learning to deal with stress or stressful things.

There are women that have migrated to Tibet to take up a life in pursuit of Buddhism, just as there are women who are heavily into other forms of mysticism and also women who are in management. So I don't really think it has to do with me being a man, I think it has more to do with my way of life.

I have somewhat trauma-induced stoicism, if enough things happen to me that could be damaging, my brain goes into survival mode and I zero myself out emotionally and do what I need to do in order to survive, even if that means making difficult decisions. It isn't sustainable, but in a quick fix when my back is against the wall, it gets me out of being cornered.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Question... Women with tattoos, is that seen as undesirable? Just heard that from Youtube University that women with a lot of tattoos will find it hard to find a man of value later in life.

 

[Sunless Sky]

Question... Women with tattoos, is that seen as undesirable? Just heard that from Youtube University that women with a lot of tattoos will find it hard to find a man of value later in life.

That's not a problem for me. Where did you hear that statistic on YouTube?

They are not particularly desirable or undesirable for me.

 

[TogetherAlone]

Question... Women with tattoos, is that seen as undesirable? Just heard that from Youtube University that women with a lot of tattoos will find it hard to find a man of value later in life.

Honestly tattoos or not I dun care, like honestly have tattoos myself if I found a someone with tattoos undesirable just because of that it would make me a hypocrite.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That's not a problem for me. Where did you hear that statistic on YouTube?

They are not particularly desirable or undesirable for me.

It was a Youtube short, thanks to all my research into incels and the manosphere lol

Interesting though, I have no tats but I like them on others

 

[TheRealCallie]

I think tats are really an individual thing. I know men who hate them and then I also know men who love them.

Why on earth are you researching incels?