Questions for the Men

[Abstamyous]

Okay fellas... humour me!

If you went on a first date, that you already kinda agreed to pay for, like you said "it's my treat" and she ordered the most expensive things, and the bill was getting a little out of budget... what would you do?

Anyone else always prepared to help pay regardless? I'm a cheap date to begin with so I couldn't imagine ordering the more pricey stuff, but I'm also very likely to drop an expensive plate or something. Gotta be prepared!

And if he's paying, the waiter gets a big tip from me.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Anyone else always prepared to help pay regardless? I'm a cheap date to begin with so I couldn't imagine ordering the more pricey stuff, but I'm also very likely to drop an expensive plate or something. Gotta be prepared!

And if he's paying, the waiter gets a big tip from me.

To be honest, I don't pay on dates just because I think thats a man's place. Also, the men that date me get mad at even the slightest hint of trying to pay. However, if I don't like them I try to put something as I don't wanna hear it. To be honest, I'm not a 50/50 blurred gender lines kinda girl, but if he really needed my help I would gladly assist but I wouldn't consider it a date after that personally. It would be a bit of a turn off, because it feels irresponsible and a bit.. well.. stupid lol.

I think its a bit annoying to take me somewhere expensive, say you will pay... and then can't... as I might get my hair done, buy a whole new dress and shoes to go, and now the date has cost me a fortune

 

[ringwood]

Anyone else always prepared to help pay regardless? I'm a cheap date to begin with so I couldn't imagine ordering the more pricey stuff, but I'm also very likely to drop an expensive plate or something. Gotta be prepared!

And if he's paying, the waiter gets a big tip from me.

Yep. I haven't been in the dating game for a long time, but I would've been happy to help contribute. I never expected the guy to foot the bill - seems unfair to me. After all, we're BOTH on the date, correct? Why should the man be expected to foot the bill?

I was never into fancy restaurants and things like that anyway. A couple of sandwiches from the local deli, some juice, maybe a treat and let's hang out at the local park - simple, easy, no fuss, low cost. (Heh. . . it's the Scottish blood in me - thrifty! )

 

[TheRealCallie]

Anyone else always prepared to help pay regardless? I'm a cheap date to begin with so I couldn't imagine ordering the more pricey stuff, but I'm also very likely to drop an expensive plate or something. Gotta be prepared!

And if he's paying, the waiter gets a big tip from me.

Yep. I haven't been in the dating game for a long time, but I would've been happy to help contribute. I never expected the guy to foot the bill - seems unfair to me. After all, we're BOTH on the date, correct? Why should the man be expected to foot the bill?

I was never into fancy restaurants and things like that anyway. A couple of sandwiches from the local deli, some juice, maybe a treat and let's hang out at the local park - simple, easy, no fuss, low cost. (Heh. . . it's the Scottish blood in me - thrifty! )

I'm the same way. fresia the expensive restaurants. And also, I'm extremely aware of prices and would never order expensive stuff. But then unless it's a vegan restaurant, I'll likely just be getting a salad anyway. Lol

The picnic in the park sounds perfect to me. More thought and romance in it, IMO.

 

[Finished]

Okay fellas... humour me!

If you went on a first date, that you already kinda agreed to pay for, like you said "it's my treat" and she ordered the most expensive things, and the bill was getting a little out of budget... what would you do?

I wouldn't say anything. I would be glad that I now have something to make you feel quilty about, as in, you feel obligated to allow me to be more sexually agressive then you otherwise would have. I learned this from a woman I was dating. She told me that a guy took here to a casino and handed her $1,000 worth of chips to have fun. At the end of the date, she said that she didn't throw herself on him. But, she allowed him to have sex with her even though she really didn't feel like it. I immediately thought, you're a whore! My girlfriend is a whore! But, I was already happily having sex with her at that point so I just said, oh okay, interesting. But, wow! So, lesson learned.

 

[user 135671]

handed her $1,000 worth of chips to have fun.

That's a lot of chips man, I knew a Geordie girl would let you sleep with her for a large donor kebab at the end of the night, cost about £3 quid back then bargain.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I wouldn't say anything. I would be glad that I now have something to make you feel quilty about, as in, you feel obligated to allow me to be more sexually agressive then you otherwise would have. I learned this from a woman I was dating. She told me that a guy took here to a casino and handed her $1,000 worth of chips to have fun. At the end of the date, she said that she didn't throw herself on him. But, she allowed him to have sex with her even though she really didn't feel like it. I immediately thought, you're a whore! My girlfriend is a whore! But, I was already happily having sex with her at that point so I just said, oh okay, interesting. But, wow! So, lesson learned.

Lmaooo I dunnooo about all that mate.... might allow him to take me on a second date if the food was nice lol

 

[Finished]

Lmaooo I dunnooo about all that mate.... might allow him to take me on a second date if the food was nice lol

You just proved my point. If it helps get a second date that otherwise would not have happened then it's worth it, depending on the woman. BTW, you're worth it!

 

[Abstamyous]

To be honest, I don't pay on dates just because I think thats a man's place. Also, the men that date me get mad at even the slightest hint of trying to pay. However, if I don't like them I try to put something as I don't wanna hear it. To be honest, I'm not a 50/50 blurred gender lines kinda girl, but if he really needed my help I would gladly assist but I wouldn't consider it a date after that personally. It would be a bit of a turn off, because it feels irresponsible and a bit.. well.. stupid lol.

I think its a bit annoying to take me somewhere expensive, say you will pay... and then can't... as I might get my hair done, buy a whole new dress and shoes to go, and now the date has cost me a fortune

I think the most annoying part is a man feeling he has to even put himself in the position to impress his date with a dinner to begin with.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You just proved my point. If it helps get a second date that otherwise would not have happened then it's worth it, depending on the woman. BTW, you're worth it!

Ohhh you just have to say that since I'm your wife and all

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I think the most annoying part is a man feeling he has to even put himself in the position to impress his date with a dinner to begin with.

Yeah, I think people should just be themselves in the dating world, not pretend to be something they're not. I know this one guy who rented a sports car and took my sister out, but her fake tan stained the car and he had to pay .... like pay.... it was a nightmare for him. It was funny but it was a nightmare

 

[TheRealCallie]

Aside from everything I've already said, I don't really like people spending money on me. Once or twice (in a lifetime) is okay, I guess, but I don't like extravagance...nor do I really want it. "Keep it simple, stupid"

 

[ewomack]

Okay fellas... humour me!

If you went on a first date, that you already kinda agreed to pay for, like you said "it's my treat" and she ordered the most expensive things, and the bill was getting a little out of budget... what would you do?

I'm gonna be honest, this happened to me before, this guy's sister brought a wowcher voucher for him to eat at some expensive place in central London, so I was thinking oh wow, he pulled out the big bucks for this date.. go him.. anyway, everything I wanted was not included in the voucher, I wasn't being a ***** I genuinely just ordered what I liked whilst being aware of the price, I was saying wow, you must earn loads this place is so expensive, and he was just going a long with it and he almost went purple when I finished ordering. He admitted the truth after the date and showed me the wowcher voucher... I was like yikessss I wish he told me, I would have just stuck to the voucher lol.

These are two different situations.

For the first situation, if it was the first occurrence, I would probably watch out for recurrences in the future, i.e., see if she seemed to "take advantage" in other ways. I would just keep that in the back of my mind. After the third or fourth gorge fest on her part, especially if she never said anything, I would start asking some serious questions. If it happened once and never again, I wouldn't care.

For the second situation, I would have a dent in my rump from kicking myself for not saying anything beforehand. I would consider that my fault and hopefully learn from it. He probably wanted to impress you, but it doesn't sound like he thought things through very carefully. What could possibly go wrong?

When my wife and I were dating, we avoided these situations by each paying our own bill. We changed this around later, but I won't go into those exciting details.

I don't think I would even date a woman who would consider it "my duty" to pay. What other expectations am I getting into in that relationship? It sounds like it comes with strings attached. No thank you. That makes me feel a little queasy, honestly.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

These are two different situations.

For the first situation, if it was the first occurrence, I would probably watch out for recurrences in the future, i.e., see if she seemed to "take advantage" in other ways. I would just keep that in the back of my mind. After the third or fourth gorge fest on her part, especially if she never said anything, I would start asking some serious questions. If it happened once and never again, I wouldn't care.

For the second situation, I would have a dent in my rump from kicking myself for not saying anything beforehand. I would consider that my fault and hopefully learn from it. He probably wanted to impress you, but it doesn't sound like he thought things through very carefully. What could possibly go wrong?

When my wife and I were dating, we avoided these situations by each paying our own bill. We changed this around later, but I won't go into those exciting details.

This is what i'm saying, it kinda makes him look dumb, I was like I don't understand, how is he going to impress me by racking up a bill he can't afford. Just made me think... what an idiot lol

I don't want a man pretending to be able to afford to wine and dine me to impress me, I'd rather he just goes on a date with a woman who likes cheap food and wants to pay 50/50, I know of a couple...

Like, I love a guy who open doors for me, and you know old fashioned courting, whereas my friends would probably call me up just to laugh at him for doing that in the bathroom.

 

[ewomack]

This is what i'm saying, it kinda makes him look dumb, I was like I don't understand, how is he going to impress me by racking up a bill he can't afford. Just made me think... what an idiot lol

I don't want a man pretending to be able to afford to wine and dine me to impress me, I'd rather he just goes on a date with a woman who likes cheap food and wants to pay 50/50, I know of a couple...

Like, I love a guy who open doors for me, and you know old fashioned courting, whereas my friends would probably call me up just to laugh at him for doing that in the bathroom.

We all want different things and that's fine. I've dated mostly women who would not want me to open the door for them and who would not want me to pay for their dinner while dating early on. They all had their "man looking for a subservient housewife or a substitute mother" antenna on full throttle. I actually like that. They tended to be very independent and that's my preference, too. But, as I said, we all want different things and you never get 100% of what you want or prefer.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Okay fellas... humour me!

If you went on a first date, that you already kinda agreed to pay for, like you said "it's my treat" and she ordered the most expensive things, and the bill was getting a little out of budget... what would you do?

It's never out of budget, because nothing is ever out of budget for a 1980s movie bully - which I am.

But, in this theoretical situation, I would just tell the staff some outrageous lie, which they would know is a lie, but would want to believe anyway, and they would wind up paying their own bill. In fact, I would somehow profit from it. The waiters would just empty their pockets for me.

Then I'd take my date home in my Camaro, doing a massive burnout in front of the restaurant, taking an equally massive bong hit while loudly listening to Foreigner, and flexing my muscles obnoxiously at every opportunity. And my date would like it, because I say so, and '80s bullies always get their way, 24/7/365!

Since I stopped being a nerd and started being an '80s movie bully, my life has only gotten better. I highly recommend it!



...no, really though? I don't think I'd wind up in that situation in the first place. I think because of the way I am, I would wind up with someone who wouldn't do something like that, or who would split the bill.

If I were to offer to pay it, I would look at the menu ahead of time and make sure I could pay for it first.

 

[ringwood]

I don't want a man pretending to be able to afford to wine and dine me to impress me, I'd rather he just goes on a date with a woman who likes cheap food and wants to pay 50/50, I know of a couple...

 

[TheRealCallie]

This is what i'm saying, it kinda makes him look dumb, I was like I don't understand, how is he going to impress me by racking up a bill he can't afford. Just made me think... what an idiot lol

I don't want a man pretending to be able to afford to wine and dine me to impress me, I'd rather he just goes on a date with a woman who likes cheap food and wants to pay 50/50, I know of a couple...

Like, I love a guy who open doors for me, and you know old fashioned courting, whereas my friends would probably call me up just to laugh at him for doing that in the bathroom.

So you want a sugar daddy?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

So you want a sugar daddy?

Maybe

 

[CenotaphGirl]

We all want different things and that's fine. I've dated mostly women who would not want me to open the door for them and who would not want me to pay for their dinner while dating early on. They all had their "man looking for a subservient housewife or a substitute mother" antenna on full throttle. I actually like that. They tended to be very independent and that's my preference, too. But, as I said, we all want different things and you never get 100% of what you want or prefer.

This made me laugh, it's so true, it varies so much from person to person. I think it's true though, can't really know from one person to the next, but out of me and my friends, it's night and day, my girls hate all that lovey dovey crap lol