Questions for the Men

[VanillaCreme]

Women look at love in such a complex way, guys don't.

You'd be surprised.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Women look at love in such a complex way, guys don't.

You'd be surprised.

Yeah I was too general I should have put most in there for each. I've met very few women who look at, lets just say relationships in general in a non complex sort of way. Everything has to have a meaning or purpose. Like if you burn a CD for a female friend of songs that might help her through a tough time, she thinks you are deeply madly in love with her. You do it for a guy and he's like, thanks bud those were some cool songs (and secretly thinks you might be coming on to him, taking note in case he decides to switch teams).

(btw jk about the last part.)

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@WishingWell he could be having one of his issues. Don't read too much into it right now, just keep being his friend.

 

[WishingWell]

That's my question...how can I continue to be his friend if he is ignoring me? Should I email him and see if I get an answer or just let it go?

 

[Sci-Fi]

How long has it been since your last email? It it's been awhile there's no hurt in sending an email to see how he's doing, but yeah if you don't get a response just let it go until maybe he's home and you two run into each other.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Women look at love in such a complex way, guys don't.

You'd be surprised.

Everything has to have a meaning or purpose. Like if you burn a CD for a female friend of songs that might help her through a tough time, she thinks you are deeply madly in love with her. You do it for a guy and he's like, thanks bud those were some cool songs.

Once again, you'd be surprised. You must not know a lot of females, because we don't fall madly in love with guys over simple things. Takes a lot more than a burned CD to make me even want to talk to a guy.

But my question isn't as vague as that. I mean, other than wanting sex or something. When you've dealt with someone for about four years now, it's more than just a hit and go thing. I just don't understand why guys feel the need to lie about it at all.

 

[WishingWell]

Sci-Fi,

It's been over 2 weeks since I emailed him. I since sent him jokes, and he sometimes made comments on them too.

I think I may email him again, and just ask him how he is doing since I haven't heard from him...and not mention the coffee thing.

 

[Kataphractos]

I watched that video in your sig Poueff. My eyes were just locked on her tits the entire time. O_O

Indeed. She's got a nice set of cans.

At the same time though, her words, while a bit condescending at first, were pretty much spot on. Except the whole 'be yourself' thing...yes, I do agree with it, but us nerds/dorks have to be careful with it. It can be a little too easy to nerd-out at times.

 

[Limlim]

What words?

 

[Poueff]

her words, while a bit condescending at first, were pretty much spot on. Except the whole 'be yourself' thing...yes, I do agree with it, but us nerds/dorks have to be careful with it. It can be a little too easy to nerd-out at times.

well,she also says (in other video,me thinks) that when talking about your hobbies/job don't portray it as lame or boring and then give the girl a goofy smile,that just shows you don't like what you do and that's a serious turn-off. Besides,if you do don't like what you do (as a job) you can always say it's only temporary until you find your dream job,so to speak. An example:

Girl: So,what do you like to do on your free time?
Guy: Meh,I like to play some WoW,but that's pretty lame

That shows lack of confidence and tbh lack of choice.

Example 2:

Girl: So...what do you do on your free time?
Guy: I love playing D&D,what about you?

Well,she can always answer with the always present no-card:

Girl: Well... yeah,that sounds nice,I guess.

Bad anwser:

Guy: Meh,you're right

Good anwser:

Guy: No,it's not nice. It's awesome,would you play something that was just 'nice ?

That way,besides negging her,you show you have confidence and well,personality,aka not your average "nerd" so to speak

 

[A Desolate Soul]

her words, while a bit condescending at first, were pretty much spot on. Except the whole 'be yourself' thing...yes, I do agree with it, but us nerds/dorks have to be careful with it. It can be a little too easy to nerd-out at times.

well,she also says (in other video,me thinks) that when talking about your hobbies/job don't portray it as lame or boring and then give the girl a goofy smile,that just shows you don't like what you do and that's a serious turn-off. Besides,if you do don't like what you do (as a job) you can always say it's only temporary until you find your dream job,so to speak. An example:

Girl: So,what do you like to do on your free time?
Guy: Meh,I like to play some WoW,but that's pretty lame

That shows lack of confidence and tbh lack of choice.

Example 2:

Girl: So...what do you do on your free time?
Guy: I love playing D&D,what about you?

Well,she can always answer with the always present no-card:

Girl: Well... yeah,that sounds nice,I guess.

Bad anwser:

Guy: Meh,you're right

Good anwser:

Guy: No,it's not nice. It's awesome,would you play something that was just 'nice ?

That way,besides negging her,you show you have confidence and well,personality,aka not your average "nerd" so to speak

This^^^^

 

[Sci-Fi]

Women look at love in such a complex way, guys don't.

You'd be surprised.

Everything has to have a meaning or purpose. Like if you burn a CD for a female friend of songs that might help her through a tough time, she thinks you are deeply madly in love with her. You do it for a guy and he's like, thanks bud those were some cool songs.

Once again, you'd be surprised. You must not know a lot of females, because we don't fall madly in love with guys over simple things. Takes a lot more than a burned CD to make me even want to talk to a guy.

But my question isn't as vague as that. I mean, other than wanting sex or something. When you've dealt with someone for about four years now, it's more than just a hit and go thing. I just don't understand why guys feel the need to lie about it at all.

Actually A LOT of my friends are female, like 80% of them, so I'm not just pulling this out of my ass. It has happened to me on numerous occasions, mostly when all I meant by it was being a friend. I couldn't do anything "nice" that wouldn't result in a girl thinking it meant more resulting in getting unwanted rejection. Sometimes I'd just take the rejection and not say anything, not like I wanted to embarrass them by telling them I meant nothing by my actions then being a nice friend, just because I have a penis didn't mean I was trying to stick it in them. So yeah, in my experiences when a guy does something nice for them most girls think the guy is interested in them or it means more than just being a good friend. I have a friend who had a crush on my since grade 2 all because I opened up her pudding cup for her, GRADE 2!! In high school she tried to push it too far when I made it clear to her I wasn't interesting in anything more than being her friend. She continued to push me until she pushed too far and destroyed our friendship for many years after. I tried to make her hate me to get her to understand and even that didn't work. I had a female friend who bought me a Catwoman poster (from Batman Returns) for Christmas, so in return I bought her a gift, and she thought it meant more then just returning the favor of a generous gift that I really liked.

No wonder I'm so shy, I've been rejected by girls when I wasn't even hitting on them. Wow, you women really suck and are a bunch of mean bitches...JOKING!!!!!!!!!!


Not all guys lie, just the ones who don't know what they want or are playing you.

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Sci-Fi,

It's been over 2 weeks since I emailed him. I since sent him jokes, and he sometimes made comments on them too.

I think I may email him again, and just ask him how he is doing since I haven't heard from him...and not mention the coffee thing.

Sounds like a good plan.

 

[Poueff]

Vannilla,it's not any emotional honeysuckle,guys aren't like that tbh. He probably was just lonely,he found you,"an easy target",lonely as well,so he made the move and made you believe he loved you so he could get in a relationship with you. Why? imo,Libido and that feeling of "alone = useless" running in are the more possible options,but other motives be the reason too

 

[Sci-Fi]

Poueff it's weird to read what you write sometimes, you certainly are a mature thinker for your age. Just keep your nose clean as the rest of you catches up with your brain. Hopefully you are learning a lot from us older people on here, you seem like a nice kid who could grow up to be a very mindful kind young man.

 

[jales]

Question
Quite a few men say that women are/have been manipulative towards them. Now in the only country where I have ever actually dated I dont really see it (Jamaica).

In order for someone to be manipulative they have got to want something from you, that you are not so keen on giving up.

I have seen lots of guys manipulate women into giving them sex. I can't actually pin point the thing that women want from men...

So I'm asking the guys who have been manipulated.. what did they want from you?

Also I think that in Jamaican society because women are aware of the fact that the guys are going to try and trick them into having sex.. it doesnt hurt as badly when it does happen (because you expect it).

But the question to guys is... is there a particular thing that women want from you???

 

[kamya]

This isn't a bitter rant, but it's some of the stuff I've seen or heard of women doing, or heard women talking about doing.

Teasing or leading several men on to give themselves a boost of self esteem. Sex. Money. Someone to push their problems onto. Commitment. A lot (not all) women use indirect or passive aggressive actions to get what they want. These are usually more manipulative strategies. A lot of men are more direct in communicating what they want.

Women have the stereotype of giving the silent treatment, withdrawing emotionally, and withholding sex to get what they want.

Other examples would be just playing games. A lot of guys do this too, but when women do it there is a bit of a differently. An example would be dating and pretending to be interested in someone (getting them on the hook) then saying they want to wait, or saying they aren't ready for a relationship at the moment..."but just give me some time and space and it could work" they will say. Then they go out to try a few other guys and see if they can find someone better. They do this knowing that the first guy will probably still be waiting for them. Sometimes they come back to the first guy...usually they find someone else and when that doesn't work they go back and make sure the original guy is still on the hook. Then they go back out to play the field. I'm not saying this is typical but I've seen it happen to multiple doods.

 

[Sci-Fi]

A lot of men are more direct in communicating what they want.

Yes, yes we are. What is really annoying is when you are direct and state exactly what you are looking for and she "doesn't get it" or "doesn't understand"...WTF!? I think it's more so that it's not what they want to hear. That's my experience anyway. I was straight forward, open and honest with her about how I saw things. On several instances she accused me of not doing this which eventually made me very angry because I felt she wasn't comprehending it because it wasn't what she wanted. It was more about what she wanted instead of us.

 

[jales]

but my question was.. what do women want from guys...

From your answer Kamya.. are you saying that what they want is attention??

 

[kamya]

Yeah the part where I said.

"Teasing or leading several men on to give themselves a boost of self esteem. Sex. Money. Someone to push their problems onto. Commitment."

I think those are the things that some women are probably after when they "manipulate" men.

Attention kind of sums some of that up I guess. I wonder what replies you would get in the questions for women thread. I've heard stories told by women friends about what they do so I'm sure people on here are willing to share.

 

[Sci-Fi]

but my question was.. what do women want from guys...

From your answer Kamya.. are you saying that what they want is attention??

Wait...how is this a question for men? I'm sort of confused right now.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Vannilla,it's not any emotional honeysuckle,guys aren't like that tbh. He probably was just lonely,he found you,"an easy target",lonely as well,so he made the move and made you believe he loved you so he could get in a relationship with you. Why? imo,Libido and that feeling of "alone = useless" running in are the more possible options,but other motives be the reason too

I never said anything about believing it. Takes a lot more than an, "Oh baby, I love you" to make me believe it. I just asked why they said it when they don't really mean it. I don't easily fall for people, and haven't fallen for everyone who's told me such. And I don't agree to be in every relationship presented to me, nor am I lonely.

And some guys are emotional. More emotional than I ever will be.