Questions for the Men

[Finished]

For the men who have been single for atleast a decade as of today, do you really want to be in a relationship? Or do you just want a friend / someone to talk to that's usually available to do so?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

For the men who have been single for atleast a decade as of today, do you really want to be in a relationship? Or do you just want a friend / someone to talk to that's usually available to do so?

Mostly just a friendship.
Girls that throw themselves at me are suspicious.
Because I got like absolutely nothing going on with my life.
I got no money, I'm getting older, and my life is a mess.
So I see that **** and I'mma call her out on it.
Whatchu tryin' to pull off there? I see that ****.

 

[Finished]

Mostly just a friendship.
Girls that throw themselves at me are suspicious.
Because I got like absolutely nothing going on with my life.
I got no money, I'm getting older, and my life is a mess.
So I see that **** and I'mma call her out on it.
Whatchu tryin' to pull off there? I see that ****.

Yeah, if someone shows interest in me I immediately think, "what's wrong with her."

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Yeah, if someone shows interest in me I immediately think, "what's wrong with her."

Me too.

 

[Finished]

Me too.

Then I start think about how much of a pain in the ass relationships are, what her problems might be, and I try to exit the situation as fast as possible. It'll suck if I find out later that I walked away from a great match. But, I really don't think I have.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Then I start think about how much of a pain in the ass relationships are, what her problems might be, and I try to exit the situation as fast as possible. It'll suck if I find out later that I walk away from a great match. But, I really don't think I have.

My argument is Time Management.
Once a relationship failed me that lasted me 1/3rd of the length of my life at the time.
I had to either restart everything, or be stuck in an abusive situation.
So, I restarted everything.

 

[Finished]

My argument is Time Management.
Once a relationship failed me that lasted me 1/3rd of the length of my life at the time.
I had to either restart everything, or be stuck in an abusive situation.
So, I restarted everything.

That's a really tough spot to be in. I think I would do the same thing. But, man, that's got to be hard.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

That's a really tough spot to be in. I think I would do the same thing. But, man, that's got to be hard.

What's hard is that she'll never change. That's the hard part.
I'm waiting for something that will never happen.
I'm coming to accept it and let it go though.

 

[TheSkaFish]

For the men who have been single for atleast a decade as of today, do you really want to be in a relationship? Or do you just want a friend / someone to talk to that's usually available to do so?

Yes, I really want to be in a relationship, and experience both the physical and emotional aspects of it.

For one thing, I've never been in one, and I want to know what it's like. Everyone acts like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and I do feel like it is a good thing - most of my family members are or at least have been paired off at some point in time, as are my friends, and for every relationship I've heard about that's gone sour, there's at least one that's doing just fine. I still believe that even though it's work and trouble, at the end of the day it's a good thing, it's the normal experience, just like having friends.

Also, I want to be special to someone. I want someone to choose me as their person, I want to get chosen for once, and actually by someone that I want to get to know too.

Not being chosen, it's not a pleasant feeling. It's like being the kid picked last for sports, that nobody really wants on their team because they're not good at it and nobody's friend, only even worse.

So I guess until then I'm going to have to break my brain trying to figure out how to be interesting enough for someone to choose me. I just wish I knew what would work for sure, then I could stop worrying about trying to find what works, and just worry about actually DOING what works.

 

[user 139760]

Hey men, question for you....you know, since this is the questions for men thread.

How often do you sit down to pee?

One of my ex's father did that all the time lol. I never do, unless I need to poop at the same time.
Dunno why, I always found it peculiar lol. But to each his own right? It's not like it's bad or anything.

 

[user 139760]

For the men who have been single for atleast a decade as of today, do you really want to be in a relationship? Or do you just want a friend / someone to talk to that's usually available to do so?

I do. I'm just really picky and not in any kind of hurry. I want to enjoy someone first, just spend time with them and be comfortable. Before any kind of firm "we're a couple" notions.
Like, be married, but not BE married sort of deal, you know?
For example, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. Been together for ages, not married. I totally dig that.

 

[Adamridge79]

I'd actually be interested in seeing if all my 'self care' over all these years actually pays off. If it didn't, I'd at least have a different relationship to recall. Hopefully fondly for once.

 

[Finished]

So I guess until then I'm going to have to break my brain trying to figure out how to be interesting enough for someone to choose me. I just wish I knew what would work for sure, then I could stop worrying about trying to find what works, and just worry about actually DOING what works.

Please start trying! Don't do the stuff you tried in the past. Don't do the stuff you are comfortable doing. Don't make a meager attempt and think you failed. Don't wait for them to come to you or show interest in you. Try many different things. I do know that some women love attention. Start by finding one that you are attracted to that others would think, that looks like a good match. It makes things easier because others may very well tell her that after they see you giving her attention.

Then just keep giving her attention and compliments. Not huge things. Just many small things that'll get her attention. If she likes eating candy, donuts, whatever, start bringing those into the place and make sure she has an opportunity to get one. If she smiles then head directly over to her next time and announce that XXXXXX gets first picks. Again, this may not be the type of person you are and it WILL be very ackward and uncomfortable. You need to force yourself to do it. Even if she isn't interested in you she will like the attention and after awhile she may become interested in you because, IMO, most guys are ********.

Then you can slowly ask them out, like hey, I'm hungry, I'm going over to ..... can you come with me? When they say no, just smile and say you understand, maybe next time. Then you go home and beat the **** out of a pillow because rejection is horrible. But, get that anger out and do not bottle it up inside you. Then give the woman more attention. Some, maybe many, women like the opportunity to make you work / suffer for the chance to date them. It's kind of a way for them to weed out the loosers. IMO, it's natural. If she tells you to stop in a forceful way then it's time to move onto the next woman. You tried. That's way more then many guys do, including me. So, feel good about that. I will admire you for giving it a real try. Then do it to someone else.

There are all kinds of different ways, yes it involves manipulation, to land a woman. But, since we aren't tall, handsome, popular men, we have to work hard at it. We can't just wait around for women to show interest in us or come to us. We have to do all the work. Sorry, it's unfair, but it's the situation we are in.

 

[Galen]

For the men who have been single for atleast a decade as of today, do you really want to be in a relationship? Or do you just want a friend / someone to talk to that's usually available to do so?

Do I really wish to be involved in a long term relationship? No, not anymore. Not something that I've given consideration to for a very long time. To me, it's just not part of the equation. People sometimes ask why at my age I'm not married let alone in a relationship. Simple answer is, I'm happy as I an am. Actually scratch that, it's probably more apt to use the word "comfortable" instead and point out that I just don't need the complications.

Relationships, nah not for me, I don't do them so thank you but kindly move along. The stage of life at which I now find myself and with also a past history of strong suicidal ideations, the concept of sharing what potential joys of life there may be are far outweighed by the thought of someone possibly having to suffer the pain and grief that comes with the loss of a life.

The ties that bind, the less there are, the easier it becomes to slip away.

No doubt, many people won't share this view. Which is fair enough. But this is just how I see it and it's something which to me anyway, offers a hint of peace. Which is all I want.

 

[Cherubino]

Hey men, question for you....you know, since this is the questions for men thread.

How often do you sit down to pee?

every time when at home ... so much cleaner

In Ancient Ireland and Egypt, women stood to urinate. It was the men who sat or squatted. The same is true of European women over 200 years ago. As a way of peeing discretely, they wore long, floor-length dresses and didn’t bother with underpants. https://theoffingmag.com/essay/on-piss/

 

[Cherubino]

For the men who have been single for atleast a decade as of today, do you really want to be in a relationship? Or do you just want a friend / someone to talk to that's usually available to do so?

desperately want relationship

 

[ardour]

For the men who have been single for atleast a decade as of today, do you really want to be in a relationship? Or do you just want a friend / someone to talk to that's usually available to do so?

If I just wanted a friend then I'd look for a friend. I wouldn't call it anything else. I've been single and mostly friendless all my life and I don't need companionship (platonic or otherwise) like people who had it all their lives do.

 

[TheRealCallie]

every time when at home ... so much cleaner

In Ancient Ireland and Egypt, women stood to urinate. It was the men who sat or squatted. The same is true of European women over 200 years ago. As a way of peeing discretely, they wore long, floor-length dresses and didn’t bother with underpants. https://theoffingmag.com/essay/on-piss/

I would have thought more men stood to pee.

As for the link, the site doesn't have much credibility, but the info is certainly interesting. lol

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Then I start think about how much of a pain in the ass relationships are, what her problems might be, and I try to exit the situation as fast as possible. It'll suck if I find out later that I walked away from a great match. But, I really don't think I have.

Where are you guys going to get women showing interest in you? It's never happened for me in 35 years of life.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Where are you guys going to get women showing interest in you?

If marriage and kids were a priority to me in life than I suppose it would be more of a factor to me than it really is, that's why I can manage it as casually as I usually manage to do so. I grew up rough, I'm trying to make my own life easier, not harder. That's the tipping point for me: Is it practical and rational or not? If it isn't rational, than it isn't controlled, and if it isn't controlled, it can easily spiral out into impracticality. I simply am not...chained to my feelings like that, I guess is the best way to put it. I mostly think conceptually and constructively, I'm a highly methodical creative mind like that. I'm not looking to be a millionaire and live the upper class life, I would just like to be able to afford basic health insurance, a car, and an apartment without those three things compromising each other. I'm aware of my position in life, is all. But rather than let it best me, I let it guide me. I don't have to have a relationship to survive, but I do kind of have to have food, water, and shelter to survive. Personal security is just simply an investment that I deem too personal to risk given that I am both 34 years old and in this position in life. It's just not really much of a factor. That's life's Downloadable Content to me.

Basically I don't really date anymore for the same sort of reasons why I don't really drink much anymore: It kicks your ass more as you get older, and bars are expensive and it's just cheaper and more practical to drink at home, if indeed I care to drink at all. I'm a recovered alcoholic, so I don't drink much these days, not like I used to anyhow.