Questions for the Men

[BeyondShy]

Desperation, attention, lack of intimacy and many more reasons, you name it. They are kinda lonely, away from contacts, away from deep bonding so when ever they feel anyone can hear them or anyone who care for them, they impatiently assume "the one" theory. Well, it takes more than few words to know anyone. Jumping to conclusions doesn't do any good.

Well, I don't jump to conclusions. I don't expect anyone on the internet to have a relationship with me romantically. I never had a chance to say it could have been true.

 

[Serephina]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

 

[kamya]

Either you turned him down so he's moving on or he's full of honeysuckle.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

He could just be a player and only sweet talks his way through women. Not someone you can trust at all, if you ask me.

Edit: Oops. I just realised this thread is for men to answer and I'm not a man... sorry I butted in. :\

 

[Serephina]

and he's wondering why i'm reluctant to get involved again,thank you Kamya

 

[Sci-Fi]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

Could be a number of things.

He's just naturally a flirty person
He's just being friendly
He likes the extra attention
You're reading more into it than what it is
You're mistaking him being friendly for flirty
He's more afraid of commitment than he lets on
If you turn him down he wants to show that he can easily move on
He's afraid you will reject him and doesn't want to be alone so he keeps other options

Some people are just naturally flirty without even knowing it, I know a few people like that and most of the time they really don't know it until someone points it out.

 

[Serephina]

so how can you tell?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

Either is he lying about what he said to you.
Or he can't help flirting with women.

Either way he sounds like a twat !

 

[h3donist]

I guess everyone's definition of flirtatious behaviour is different. What he sees as innocent general human interaction could be seen completely differently to you. Talking about what you find acceptable might help but remember, you might be the one having to make a compromise. You can't for example ban him from talking to women, or make him delete his female friends from his phone/facebook because that is actually abuse. You just have to be honest with him and discuss what is reasonable and what isn't.

My ex wife wouldn't allow me to have female friends at all - and I wasn't allowed to have a lock on my phone so she could check up on me whenever she felt like it. If we were at a party I was not to speak to girls and I even had to keep to a list of approved topics when talking to her mum. I had to literally beg to go away for a couple of days to a conference to promote my book ffs.

To me I think flirtatious behaviour only becomes a problem if he makes an effort to keep it from you and starts lying about it. If he starts lying about being with someone or making an effort to keep messages away from you then that is when you have a right to be concerned but be very careful about accusations.

I hope things work out for both of you.

 

[there is no hope]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

I'm no expert and never been in this situation myself, but from what I gather it's common for men to keep their eye on other women even after cohabitation, for quite some time. Most have the sense to keep such things discreet, but some men like to inspire jealousy for whatever reason.

 

[Serephina]

Ladyforsaken-I only just saw your post and yes that was what created this whole thing in the first place,trust issues

Triple Bogey-This is exactly what I am trying to get to the bottom of without accusing him,i'm just looking at other possibilities

H3donist-I wouldn't mind if someone I was going out with had female friends,and I wouldn't want to go around checking on him and I certainly wouldn't touch his phone.

There is no ho hope-I never realised that

 

[Oldyoung]

Seraphina, it's simple.

When we try to get with you, we use all the tricks available in the book. At least all the easy ones, like compliments, promises of commitment... And very often, that's all you women ask for.

Giving up flirting with women in general is a tough call though.

Look for efforts on his part, not the act he pulls on you.

 

[Aisha]

When we try to get with you, we use all the tricks available in the book. At least all the easy ones, like compliments, promises of commitment... And very often, that's all you women ask for.

I shouldn't, but i do resent that last one. I trust stupidly easily which means I get hurt just as easily. I don't appreciate dishonesty, no matter how nice the person generally seems to be in other ways.

 

[BeyondShy]

I don't appreciate dishonesty, no matter how nice the person generally seems to be in other ways.

I don't blame you.

 

[PenDragon]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

First, depend on what is flirtation here. If he talks the same way the way he talks with you, I mean "the love coated words" then Definitely he is a *********.

Second, It's his nature could be, as Sci-Fi pointed out, he is probably seeking more attention.

And As LadyF said, If he is that much of pendulum type man then definitely not trust worthy at all, Not everything is meant for sharing, that is the bottom line.

What my view, There is limit on everything. I do flirt or few have already said to me though from my part It's normal conversation. And sometimes I do that to make Jealous can't help it But all the best part are reserved for her, I don't give that to anyone, no one.

BTW, I gotta tell you this, Man are generally very good at using love coated words, saying from personal view, words don't count much only actions do.

 

[VanillaCreme]

When we try to get with you, we use all the tricks available in the book. At least all the easy ones, like compliments, promises of commitment... And very often, that's all you women ask for.

I shouldn't, but i do resent that last one. I trust stupidly easily which means I get hurt just as easily. I don't appreciate dishonesty, no matter how nice the person generally seems to be in other ways.

If I actually fell for things, I'd resent that too. Because that does seem like a whooping lie. But, for me, on a personal level, I don't care what anyone promises me. I'll look the other way as though I didn't even hear them. I'm not keen to believe in bullshit, even if the person is trying to be nice.

 

[Aisha]

When we try to get with you, we use all the tricks available in the book. At least all the easy ones, like compliments, promises of commitment... And very often, that's all you women ask for.

I shouldn't, but i do resent that last one. I trust stupidly easily which means I get hurt just as easily. I don't appreciate dishonesty, no matter how nice the person generally seems to be in other ways.

If I actually fell for things, I'd resent that too. Because that does seem like a whooping lie. But, for me, on a personal level, I don't care what anyone promises me. I'll look the other way as though I didn't even hear them. I'm not keen to believe in bullshit, even if the person is trying to be nice.

I tend to be pretty naive when it comes to people's intentions in general. And I know how I am, which is why I don't get into relationships, and why I don't have a lot of experience. Once I commit though, I'm completely committed. It would hurt quite a bit if it turns out not to be the case in return. Maybe I'm just not jaded enough.
I don't believe people just because they're trying to be nice, I'm not eager to believe in BS either. But the foundation of a relationship should be trust. I think it's a betrayal when someone you trust and have trusted tells you that in the end, they didn't mean or want it.

 

[9006]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

My alarm bells would be sounding. First instinct he sounds like a player; talks bullshit an just a flirt.

so how can you tell?

Granted some people just can't help being a flirt, but really it all depends on how much we're talking here. But if he was really into you I don't really know why he'd feel the need to.

Also from what you say he sounds kinda immature. Saying how he wants to be with you forever, move in with you, and the most beautiful comes across as immature an something you'd say when you're a teen. These are bold statements adults NORMALLY take seriously, but immature minds say meaninglessly; and impossible to determine without knowing more about this person.

People are more likely to believe in something like this because they want it to be true, it can cloud our judgement and usually results in someone getting hurt, confidence getting dented, and trusting becoming harder.

 

[No_Nickname]

I have a question,If a guy is really in to you,says that he wants to be with you forever and you're the one and he wants to move in and you're the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he would do anything to make you happy. Why does he then the next minute start flirting with other women?

Two words: backup plan.

Suppose his relationship with you fails. He doesn't want to be single any longer than is necessary, which means he needs a new girlfriend fast. Rather than finding a new girl and building a relationship from scratch, he's building the relationships (plural) ahead of time. That way, if he finds himself single, he can just select an available love interest, ask her out, and be in a new relationship before the dust has even settled on the old one.

 

[Solivagant]

Two words: backup plan.

Suppose his relationship with you fails. He doesn't want to be single any longer than is necessary, which means he needs a new girlfriend fast. Rather than finding a new girl and building a relationship from scratch, he's building the relationships (plural) ahead of time. That way, if he finds himself single, he can just select an available love interest, ask her out, and be in a new relationship before the dust has even settled on the old one.

^ Yep. Or you are the backup plan, and you don't realize it.

That happened to me.