Questions for the Men

[TheWickedOne]

Honey, sticking it in the crazy is never a good idea. Really.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

My personal belief is that love is unconditional... relationships aren't.

truer words........

 

[AFrozenSoul]

although i must admit, a girl who always wants to cuddle is welcome here.. i must be honest and say that sometimes the oversexual relationship or the relationship with a girl who will defend you till every drop of blood has left her body can be kind of fun and make you feel important.. awefully selfish of me... hmm... *starts feeling self loathing*

I'm confused is this a bad thing?

 

[VanillaCreme]

although i must admit, a girl who always wants to cuddle is welcome here.. i must be honest and say that sometimes the oversexual relationship or the relationship with a girl who will defend you till every drop of blood has left her body can be kind of fun and make you feel important.. awefully selfish of me... hmm... *starts feeling self loathing*

I'm confused is this a bad thing?

It could be considered selfish. However, I'm like that. I'll defend the people I love until my last breath is gone. I'm not for cuddling though. Not my thing really. Selfish on one side really.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

It could be considered selfish. However, I'm like that. I'll defend the people I love until my last breath is gone. I'm not for cuddling though. Not my thing really. Selfish on one side really.

Hmmm ok I guess I kind of understand... I don't know that last sentence is just not making sense to me.

 

[mintymint]

I'm not for cuddling though. Not my thing really.

Pfft, whatever...

 

[Luna]

I never thought I'd ask this...
But how do I get friend-zoned?
I'd rather be friend-zoned than to have people promise me a relationship or show romantic interest, and then cut me off for not putting out.
Mind you, I've probably seen these said people...less than 10 times in total each.
I start off wanting friendship - I don't expect a relationship.
But they push it by kissing and touching...
Next, it's the talk about sex, and then the disappearing act after I talk to them honestly.
However, these people, they too have female friends that they hang out and have fun with...innocent activities like camping, watching movies etc.
I'd be happy to have friends.
I mean, at least I'd have something rather than nothing.

 

[Talus]

I never thought I'd ask this...
But how do I get friend-zoned?
I'd rather be friend-zoned than to have people promise me a relationship or show romantic interest, and then cut me off for not putting out.
Mind you, I've probably seen these said people...less than 10 times in total each.
I start off wanting friendship - I don't expect a relationship.
But they push it by kissing and touching...
Next, it's the talk about sex, and then the disappearing act after I talk to them honestly.
However, these people, they too have female friends that they hang out and have fun with...innocent activities like camping, watching movies etc.
I'd be happy to have friends.
I mean, at least I'd have something rather than nothing.

Best thing you can do is be clear from the very start on exactly what you do and don't want. A lot of guys, especially in their early 20s want sex. It's the hormones and all. So if you're clear from the beginning the ones who are only interested in that will probably take off.

Otherwise, just try to find someone who you share as many common interests as you do and stick to hanging out in public instead of at your place or his place.

 

[Luna]

I never thought I'd ask this...
But how do I get friend-zoned?
I'd rather be friend-zoned than to have people promise me a relationship or show romantic interest, and then cut me off for not putting out.
Mind you, I've probably seen these said people...less than 10 times in total each.
I start off wanting friendship - I don't expect a relationship.
But they push it by kissing and touching...
Next, it's the talk about sex, and then the disappearing act after I talk to them honestly.
However, these people, they too have female friends that they hang out and have fun with...innocent activities like camping, watching movies etc.
I'd be happy to have friends.
I mean, at least I'd have something rather than nothing.

Best thing you can do is be clear from the very start on exactly what you do and don't want. A lot of guys, especially in their early 20s want sex. It's the hormones and all. So if you're clear from the beginning the ones who are only interested in that will probably take off.

Otherwise, just try to find someone who you share as many common interests as you do and stick to hanging out in public instead of at your place or his place.

Yeah...
It's not that I don't want sex, it's just that I am not going to have sex with someone that I barely know and does not care for me...
I'd rather have a stable friendship, and then a relationship...
These guys, I don't feel secure because they're hot and cold...
Thanks for the tips - and I did go to their places ahaha.

Any more advice from others would be great too...

 

[mintymint]

At 20 you're probably gonna have a harder time finding guys who will want to commit to a serious relationship up front, at least guys who are your age. There will be some, just fewer in number. Don't let that dishearten you or make you feel rejected. If that is the kind of relationship you seek, you can find it if you try hard enough. The point is, they go away because they don't want what you want. They don't meet your criteria. Don't feel rejected because of that. I don't know what kind of time frame you feel comfortable with regarding sex, but if the guy can't respect that, then he isn't worth missing. The surest way to surround yourself with good people who value you for who you are is to remain true to yourself. Act like you; the people who matter will stick around. If you want to be friends, just make it clear. If you say up front that you want to be friends first and then maybe something will happen down the line, then those guys will be going for that "something." If you really want to see what they're made of, stick with the guys that will respect what you want, or the guys who are happy being just your friend. It's all just recycled material from a Dr. Seuss quote:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

 

[Drama]

I was wondering what is the type of women do men consider attractive? a blond beautiful woman or an intelligent woman not as beautiful as the other

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well I am not all into blondes. So I cannot say for sure. Plus what kind of beauty are you talking about? Since I cannot tell a females intelligence by her appearance. I would see the more physically appealing female as beautiful to begin with. However, if a woman is an idiot... well that does make her less attractive... no matter how awesome her body is.

 

[Luna]

I was wondering what is the type of women do men consider attractive? a blond beautiful woman or an intelligent woman not as beautiful as the other

I am not a man...
But speaking from experience, a lot of guys I have seen will say "Personality is more important/ Looks don't matter blahblahblah etc." and will jump at the opportunity should an attractive/hot/gorgeous woman look his way.

Same thing applies to women too ^^^

( It irritates me because I am that "You're beautiful on the inside" chick, but that is life... >.> )

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I am not a man...
But speaking from experience, a lot of guys I have seen will say "Personality is more important/ Looks don't matter blahblahblah etc." and will jump at the opportunity should an attractive/hot/gorgeous woman look his way.

Yeah, that's been my experience too. *snort*

One guy dumped me for the opportunity (in his mind) to chase after hotter, younger chicks, but astoundingly, they weren't interested in him. Then he tried crawling back to me basically saying "Oh, their beauty is nothing when compared to the beauty of your soul."

*****, please.

 

[Luna]

I am not a man...
But speaking from experience, a lot of guys I have seen will say "Personality is more important/ Looks don't matter blahblahblah etc." and will jump at the opportunity should an attractive/hot/gorgeous woman look his way.

Yeah, that's been my experience too. *snort*

One guy dumped me for the opportunity (in his mind) to chase after hotter, younger chicks, but astoundingly, they weren't interested in him. Then he tried crawling back to me basically saying "Oh, their beauty is nothing when compared to the beauty of your soul."

*****, please.

Yep.
I grow a certain sense of attachment to people that are kind to me.
I know how hard it is to find kind people; I don't see it as a loss if some GQ-looking model passes by since I have not bonded with him.
Of course, I just would like someone I'm attracted to.

But many women are same in the sense that they want the "best looking" man that they can get.

And many men - the ones I'm referring to, not all...
They see it as a loss should they miss the chance with a gorgeous/beautiful/hot woman.
The thing is, many of those gorgeous/beautiful/hot woman have no interest and/or reject them, which is why they feel that they "settle" for average/plain people like me.

Such people are the ones that take a lot of things for granted.
It's only when they're on the brink of losing it, only then do they realize how much they will miss it. ( Translation = Come crawling back >.> )

I can guarantee! Megan Fox wants to have sex with my boyfriend/ husband, I will be dumped in a heartbeat.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

But many women are same in the sense that they want the "best looking" man that they can get.

Some people, men and women alike, seems to care more about the appearance of having a relationship, so that it's more of an accessory. Like I swear, the thought running through some women's minds is along the lines of, "How will he look hanging off my arm" as if he were a Coach purse.

Some men seem to care more about whether their guy buddies think that their GF is attractive. Dude, they're not the ones who need to be physically attracted to her.... unless you're open to them banging her too!

OMG people make me want to scream.

The thing is, many of those gorgeous/beautiful/hot woman have no interest and/or reject them, which is why they feel that they should "settle" for average/plain people like me.

I find the entire idea of "settling" extremely distasteful. It implies that people only have value based on certain characteristics, whether it's appearance or brains or whatever.

 

[Luna]

Exactly!
The person who I thought to be my "friend", called what we had a relationship - when really, I felt he didn't care for me.
He had someone on his mind, and I suppose it was his way of getting back at her?
Didn't even want to show me to his friends because they likely would bother him about me regarding my lack of uber sexiness.
It's all about showing off.
He did mention that him and his buddies are always in competition with one another.

 

[Talus]

I am not a man...
But speaking from experience, a lot of guys I have seen will say "Personality is more important/ Looks don't matter blahblahblah etc." and will jump at the opportunity should an attractive/hot/gorgeous woman look his way.

Well looks are still important to some degree. You can't have a successful relationship with someone you feel little to no attraction to. But personality is more important. The problem is it can take people a long time to really get that.

I've done the whole beautiful blonde thing, and I'll say this. I'll take an intelligent yet average looking person over the hottie any day, because really I don't care how stunning a girl is if she's tedious to have a conversation with or inserts "like" multiple times into each sentence.

That said - and maybe this will upset some people I don't know... - but appearances are still important. Too many normal looking people, both guys and girls alike who feel like they can't compete with the "hot" ones make absolutely no effort to look good themselves. Decent clothes and a little bit of time making yourself look as good as you can regardless of the body you've been given goes a hell of a long way with people.

Anyway, I think I've started to go off track with this so I'll leave it at that.

 

[Badjedidude]

Some men seem to care more about whether their guy buddies think that their GF is attractive. Dude, they're not the ones who need to be physically attracted to her.... unless you're open to them banging her too!

Those are the weaklings to steer clear from. If a guy can't stand up for his woman to his own buddies, then he's a pussy and you shouldn't be with him anyway.

I have to admit, I have given honeysuckle to some of my friends for being with women that weren't exactly considered to be "hot" by modern standards...but I always did it in friendliness, and without seriously insulting the girl (present or not).

I think this is just sort of a natural thing that guys do to each other, to probe each other a bit and feel each other out about the situation. Chances are that if a guy stands up for his woman, this is how his buddies will catch on that she's important to him and they'll respect his interest in her. You have to remember that most men don't really sit around and talk about feelings like women do. They poke and prod to gain relationship information from each other. *shrug*

With that said, I wouldn't give a crap what my buddies say about a girl I was with. If I find her beautiful, then she's beautiful; it's as simple as that. And I've been known to pursue women that other guys find ugly also.

So really...it just takes a man, not a boy; that's all. Yup, I said it. I'm a MAAAAAAAN. lulz

 

[mintymint]

For me, the ideal woman has integrity, emotional intelligence, a sense of humor and an open mind. Those are the qualities that I find to be essential in order to maintain a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Honestly, if I love the girl, everything else is icing on the cake

Bonus points for having an inquisitive/analytical mind