Questions for the Men

[Badjedidude]

I don't think it's even a question of "hot" or "ugly."

All women are beautiful in their own way.

But men simply have different tastes. I think everyone has a story where they know of a dude who chased after that one girl and no one else could understand it. Right now one of my buddies is with a girl who... well, isn't your typical hottie, to put it gently. I know for a FACT that he could be with a "hotter" girl, but he is content to be with the girl he has.

Why? Because to him, SHE is hot. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

[mintymint]

Does an unattractive girl have any hope? Are there oddballs out there who can fall for an ugly duckling (who grows up to be an ugly duck)?

I hate it when people go around calling themselves ugly If you're asking whether or not there are guys out there who will judge you based on more than your looks, the answer is yes. Personality... it goes a long way. A long long long way. I speak from experience. This isn't hackneyed drivel. Judging from the posts you have made thus far you seem to be a thoughtful, intelligent and funny person. I'm inclined to believe that some guy would be pretty lucky to have you So don't give up hope. And welcome to the site

 

[VanillaCreme]

Why is it, when a female is "everything you've been looking for in a woman", do guys turn around and give some excuse or reason not to be with her? I don't understand that for the life of me.

 

[Badjedidude]

Why is it, when a female is "everything you've been looking for in a woman", do guys turn around and give some excuse or reason not to be with her? I don't understand that for the life of me.

That's easy. There are only two real reasons for that:

#1: The guy is scared. Scared of messing it up, scared of not being good enough to equal his "fantasy" girl. To finally meet a woman that is what one has been looking for is a great thing... but all of a sudden the looming thought of "IF I **** IT UP," rears its ugly head. And some guys just can't handle that, I guess.

#2: The guy doesn't really know what he wants after all. He sure THOUGHT he did, and he may have led someone on by telling her that...but in reality he doesn't want to settle down because he's not sure that the girl is actually worth it.

Hope that helped.

 

[huggybear]

Guy: /*scare of "F**K OFF" phrase */ What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Oh nuttin.
Guy: /* She thinks that i am a jerk. She don't want to go out. ****, silence in the phone....need to tell something...fast */ Well, have fun.
Girl: **thinks to herself** what the hell was that? He asks me what I am doing and then doesn't ask me out**giggles**

RFLMAO!!! That was sooo funny, Sunweb and enlightening at the same time!! Thanks for the reply! So would it be safe to say that sometimes girls don't seem interested in thier tone of voice and that may be the reason they aren't asked out?

You just never know what a guy is thinking

 

[freedom]

there are several possiblities. i ask this a lot, and it's just to see what other people are up to. i never do it with the intention to ask a girl out. if i did, i wouldn't ask "what are you doing this weekend", i would ask "do you want to go out with me this weekend". i mostly ask it because i'm curious. i'm not up to much on the weekends. just curious as to what "normal" people are spending their time doing.

 

[blueindia2681]

I wish we could still do this!!!!!!!

Back when I was dating it was so simple.
You just club em on the head and drag em back to your cave.



:club:



I guess I am really old.


I hear some women still like that. LOL

 

[Mr. Sir]

Girls don't really fear rejections because they make the decision. If a girl was interested, she shows it.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Yes they DO fear rejection. Why the hell do you think women spend 2 hours getting dolled up before going out? Because they fear being rejected, that's why.

Just like guys. Both sexes fear rejection and do whatever they can to avoid it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Girls don't really fear rejections because they make the decision. If a girl was interested, she shows it.

Sorry...but that statement is FAIL.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Girls don't really fear rejections because they make the decision. If a girl was interested, she shows it.

What makes you think we're immune to fear or rejection or being scared? Because I'd like to know what it is so I can do it. I must really be a male then, because I don't tell guys I like them for a reason. If I do tell a guy I like him, then I was comfortable enough with him to do so. I certainly don't always tell someone when I'm interested in them.

And we certainly don't always make the decision. If we did, I'd be with who I like right now. But I'm not.

 

[TheWickedOne]

That statement is on par with a statement a Boston area DJ made once that women ruled the world because we aren't afraid to go to the movies by ourselves.

 

[Daan]

Girls don't really fear rejections because they make the decision. If a girl was interested, she shows it.

What makes you think we're immune to fear or rejection or being scared? Because I'd like to know what it is so I can do it. I must really be a male then, because I don't tell guys I like them for a reason. If I do tell a guy I like him, then I was comfortable enough with him to do so. I certainly don't always tell someone when I'm interested in them.

And we certainly don't always make the decision. If we did, I'd be with who I like right now. But I'm not.

Both men and women tend to be very picky. There are a few lucky people who can get anyone they like. My impression is that there are more girls who can get who they want, because girls seem to be more picky than men?

 

[tehdreamer]

Fear of rejection is a wide-spread human thing. It has nothing to do with gender. The only people who don't fear rejection are those who are overly-confident of themselves. And just because they don't fear it, doesn't mean it doesn't still happen to them. They are just a lot more confused when it does; "He rejected me!? What's wrong with this world!!?"

And men are just as picky as women. I've been rejected before over a number of picky reasons including age, race, and physical appearance.

 

[Badjedidude]

The only people who don't fear rejection are those who are overly-confident of themselves.

Well... I dunno about overly confident. Personally, I don't fear rejection, because I see it as a natural part of the process of putting yourself out there. Sure, it hurts sometimes, but that's no reason to fear it. *shrug*

 

[Daan]

For me the problem is that i got little chances. And than i want to be sure, because when i am rejected i will have to live with it for a long while.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Girls don't really fear rejections because they make the decision. If a girl was interested, she shows it.

What makes you think we're immune to fear or rejection or being scared? Because I'd like to know what it is so I can do it. I must really be a male then, because I don't tell guys I like them for a reason. If I do tell a guy I like him, then I was comfortable enough with him to do so. I certainly don't always tell someone when I'm interested in them.

And we certainly don't always make the decision. If we did, I'd be with who I like right now. But I'm not.

Both men and women tend to be very picky. There are a few lucky people who can get anyone they like. My impression is that there are more girls who can get who they want, because girls seem to be more picky than men?

You really can't say a whole gender is more picky than the other. It's based on the individual person. And personally, I'm only picky on certain things.

 

[Daan]

But you can't see that from the outside. When i have to think about the chances i got with a lady, than i contemplate them based on earlier experiences with other women.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

But you can't see that from the outside. When i have to think about the chances i got with a lady, than i contemplate them based on earlier experiences with other women.

Judging people by others' faults is ridiculous though. If that were so, then I ought to treat all men as philandering, potential-stalker ******** because I happened to have dated or run across several guys who fall into that category.

Taking that attitude at the outset though is not fair to the new guy, nor does it give the relationship much of a chance.

This is precisely why generalizations will almost always lead to disappointment.

 

[Daan]

My strategy is to first become friends. If i know a person, than i know what to expect.