Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

I'll say that you are ridiculously over complicating things. Furthermore, it appears that many of your own insecurities and nuances, are of your own making. All these intricacies and foibles, are highly likely to turn upon you, and kick your arse.

Wait wait … what? Whats complicated about not being ready for something?

Personally, I dont think anyone should be rushed into doing or saying anything. I think the most evil thing to do to someone is to make them work to your timescale, its just not fair. My partner will hear it when im ready or he will never hear it Honestly I dont wanna hear it because a dog wants his bone, i wanna hear it because he means it, of course I can say it and make it mean as little as “pass the salt” but thats not what I want. I feel tears coming when I wanna tell him that, when the moment hits for that, I feel weak and vulnerable, im not ready for that, it means a lot to me. If my partner wants to force me to do things then I think thats the opposite of love.

 

[MrLonely86]

Right, my mission to get questions for the men on as many pages as questions for the women... is a hard road... equality... am I right?...

My next question is... Men, be honest... how comes men often say "I love you" first? Have you always meant it when you said it? Do men just say it? Is it a manipulation technique? Aren't women supposed to be the hopeless romantics lol but every couple I know men have said it first, or is it the hidden alpha, has to make his move first or appears ... less masculine? Or maybe its the sex talking who knows? Oh right, men should know.... so... lets hear it lads!

Can't speak for others , only for myself.
I usually say I love you first , for me it's not manipulation technique, cause I really mean those words when I say them. And yes, I am hopeless romantic. And in terms of sex talk - I let girl take 1st step here.

 

[ardour]

It's better for men to demonstrate emotional investment with actions, signs of commitment, before words.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Can't speak for others , only for myself.
I usually say I love you first , for me it's not manipulation technique, cause I really mean those words when I say them. And yes, I am hopeless romantic. And in terms of sex talk - I let girl take 1st step here.

I loveeeee this!!! Lolz so very interesting! There is nothing more complex than a mind of a man to me but do you think you actually fall in love first?

It's better for men to demonstrate emotional investment with actions, signs of commitment, before words.

We agree on something!?!?! I knew it wasnt too late for us! soon we’ll be finishing each others sentences. Are you a romantic man?

 

[MrLonely86]

I loveeeee this!!! Lolz so very interesting! There is nothing more complex than a mind of a man to me but do you think you actually fall in love first?

Men fell in love first, men love harder, and recover more hard from breakup.
If you don't agree, feel free to change my mind.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Men fell in love first, men love harder, and recover more hard from breakup.
If you don't agree, feel free to change my mind.

Not my fella, he’s straight to the strip club while im at home… putting the lingerie on the BBQ … and cutting up his clothes like a psycho… yes i’ve done it.

I mean I feel like when a heart breaks it dont break even, I dont think it has anything to do with gender, just the relationship. I’ve deffo had guys love me and truly I cant remember their name they were nothing to me just space fillers? but my fella im sure I love him harder deffo harder than he loves me hes the guy I still cant believe I got, never thought i’d be able to get someone like him
l

 

[MrLonely86]

Well, in my last relationship, I was the one who loved more, cared more, gave more etc.

 

[user 135671]

Right, my mission to get questions for the men on as many pages as questions for the women... is a hard road... equality... am I right?...

My next question is... Men, be honest... how comes men often say "I love you" first? Have you always meant it when you said it? Do men just say it? Is it a manipulation technique? Aren't women supposed to be the hopeless romantics lol but every couple I know men have said it first, or is it the hidden alpha, has to make his move first or appears ... less masculine? Or maybe its the sex talking who knows? Oh right, men should know.... so... lets hear it lads!

I said it first to the mother of my child ( she wasn't at the time ) because I did, I still do but I'm no longer in love with her nor her with me.
I'm pretty sure I never said it ever to my ex wife I think it was lust rather than love.

Is it a manipulation technique? Oh yea definitely, I'm not into manipulation and mind games but I've known many guys who have used it, obviously they didn't have my wit, charm, rugged good looks and bank balance.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well, in my last relationship, I was the one who loved more, cared more, gave more etc.

One sided is no fair! You’re better of mate

I said it first to the mother of my child ( she wasn't at the time ) because I did, I still do but I'm no longer in love with her nor her with me.
I'm pretty sure I never said it ever to my ex wife I think it was lust rather than love.

Is it a manipulation technique? Oh yea definitely, I'm not into manipulation and mind games but I've known many guys who have used it, obviously they didn't have my wit, charm, rugged good looks and bank balance.

awhhh how many weddings have ya had!!!

 

[user 135671]

awhhh how many weddings have ya had!!!

Hahahah just the one Princess, not an experience I enjoyed defo won't be doing it again.

 

[ardour]

We agree on something!?!?! I knew it wasnt too late for us! soon we’ll be finishing each others sentences. Are you a romantic man?

Never had the chance to demonstrate that quality.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Hahahah just the one Princess, not an experience I enjoyed defo won't be doing it again.

Awhh was a big flash white wedding? Or more… rustic ?

Never had the chance to demonstrate that quality.

No roses at work? No.. cupcakes in bed? No kissed under the starrrssssss!!!

 

[ewomack]

I cannot believe what im reading…. “Oh well”… oh bloody well, right what a total rude person. I think thats so vulnerable and for someone to cross it off with an oh well is simply vile to me.

I think its no surprise that you feel that way about the phrase, awful how one person, can spoil something for you forever. I hate that about life… did you say it first ever again?

I'm not sure if it matters whether one says it "first" or not or why the order matters. You say it when you mean it and you say it when you want to say it. If the woman or the man says it first, I'm not sure what that implies or means. I don't put any importance on saying it first, just saying it so it means something. Why do you think it matters who says it first?

And one person didn't ruin it, it was a few episodes with people who I thought I had a real connection with that ruined it. It took the "oh well" episode and then my ex-wife saying it constantly while obviously not living it to do that. Over time, not only through my own experiences but hearing about the experiences of others (which I didn't go into), I realized that people said it without taking it seriously. Again, to use the religious example, I've known too many people who say "I'm a Christian" and think that only means going to church and not living their faith, which was only one of the many reasons why I ended up not following that, or really any, religion, including atheism (which to me is just another religion). I've also heard too many people say "I love you" and clearly not mean it, or say it for some other reason than to commit themselves to some purpose with another person. I don't want to be like that, so I'm doing my best not to be. It's not spoiled for me forever, either, but it is severely maimed.

 

[ewomack]

Wow....so many words to convey a singular thought

You at least said it nicely this time, so thank you. I still don't understand why you care enough to say something. Do you have insecurities around lots of words? I've known others who have and I can understand that. Or perhaps you're just flaming me - kind of like the "Pentacostal" guy - which would also be fine, but boring. But, in any case, there was more than a singular thought there, including some personal stories, and it was only 2 paragraphs long and really not that many words (the previous one you complained about was much longer). And the post wasn't even directed at you in any way. So it makes even less sense in this case. I'm probably going to go with the flaming and leave it alone.

 

[user 135671]

Awhh was a big flash white wedding? Or more… rustic ?

It was very romantic. Dublin registry office, me the missus, a handful of friends. a couple of pints down the pub then up the motorway to Belfast for a gig. funnily enough we did Billy Idols ' White Wedding ' for the encore, should've done Fleetwood Mac's ' Go your Own Way ' instead

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It was very romantic. Dublin registry office, me the missus, a handful of friends. a couple of pints down the pub then up the motorway to Belfast for a gig. funnily enough we did Billy Idols ' White Wedding ' for the encore, should've done Fleetwood Mac's ' Go your Own Way ' instead

You’re bloody Irish!!!!!???!???!??????

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm not sure if it matters whether one says it "first" or not or why the order matters. You say it when you mean it and you say it when you want to say it. If the woman or the man says it first, I'm not sure what that implies or means. I don't put any importance on saying it first, just saying it so it means something. Why do you think it matters who says it first?

And one person didn't ruin it, it was a few episodes with people who I thought I had a real connection with that ruined it. It took the "oh well" episode and then my ex-wife saying it constantly while obviously not living it to do that. Over time, not only through my own experiences but hearing about the experiences of others (which I didn't go into), I realized that people said it without taking it seriously. Again, to use the religious example, I've known too many people who say "I'm a Christian" and think that only means going to church and not living their faith, which was only one of the many reasons why I ended up not following that, or really any, religion, including atheism (which to me is just another religion). I've also heard too many people say "I love you" and clearly not mean it, or say it for some other reason than to commit themselves to some purpose with another person. I don't want to be like that, so I'm doing my best not to be. It's not spoiled for me forever, either, but it is severely maimed.

It matters not to me who says it first I just notice most men say it first and wondered why… is it because they feel it first, try to manipulate with it? Just want to make the first move to transition the “dating stage” into the “relationship stage” idk…. Strange things pop into this wonderful brain of mine

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You at least said it nicely this time, so thank you. I still don't understand why you care enough to say something. Do you have insecurities around lots of words? I've known others who have and I can understand that. Or perhaps you're just flaming me - kind of like the "Pentacostal" guy - which would also be fine, but boring. But, in any case, there was more than a singular thought there, including some personal stories, and it was only 2 paragraphs long and really not that many words (the previous one you complained about was much longer). And the post wasn't even directed at you in any way. So it makes even less sense in this case. I'm probably going to go with the flaming and leave it alone.

He’s enjoys arguing online It has nothing to do with how much ya write

 

[Finished]

It matters not to me who says it first I just notice most men say it first and wondered why… is it because they feel it first, try to manipulate with it? Just want to make the first move to transition the “dating stage” into the “relationship stage” idk…. Strange things pop into this wonderful brain of mine

Does tickling your butt make you pee?

 

[user 135671]

You’re bloody Irish!!!!!???!???!??????

Hahahahah nah I'm not Irish, there is Celtic blood in my family but it's more Scottish. I'm a Londoner born n bred, I lived in Dublin on and off for most of my adult life.