"Rejection is a Blessing" - by Erin P.

[Ak5]

Since I stopped socializating I haven't been rejected. But I will soon start socializing again soon. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully with my increased confidence and self-esteem I would be able to "overcome" everything.

It's kind of funny. When I was rejected it was a mix of me feeling that it was my fault and me feeling that it was their fault, it was kind of weird.

But yes, in the end we have to think logically. Thinking back on what happened and what I did when I was rejected, I found out a lot of flaws in myself. Now, more than a year later, I now know what my weaknesses were and I understand what to do in order for myself to make friends and not be rejected. And hopefully the thought "I did my best, it was their fault" will keep me standing.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I got this from a well known recovery book....
Quote

"Since I got Hurted, I too came to a
conclusion that if I never love again
I will never get hurted again."

I know pains help us not to put our
hands into the fire again...
But LOVE is fucken screiwie.
We not supose to apply those simple
logic to LOVE....

K heres another one.
If I dont do anything...I wont make a mistake or **** up. If I dont **** up,
I wont get punsihed...
So dont do **** and dont get **** done.lol.

No wonder people are all wacked out...
They cant figuring out how to apply cettain principless to appropricate
matters.

 

[louMcntire]

What happens when he doesn't get rejected?

I bet then he takes it personally.


What I'm expecting; If the girl accepts my invitation I figure it's because at first glance she thinks I'm at the very least - not ugly. (Oh great!)

And since that's what I'm expecting. Of course when she says no I figure it's because I'm ugly. - Not because her shoes are too tight.

This very well may just be my belief that a human being who thinks I'm ugly can't possibly want to hang out with me. But in my opinion, some people have just gone numb from hearing too many no.
And maybe there's nothing to be learned; It's just some guy trying to play it off like a baller.
But I'll say - Adam sounds like quite the Sean Connery.

And ****, I kind of completely missed the point. 'Heh...

 

[beans]

What happens when he doesn't get rejected?

I bet then he takes it personally.

Wouldn't you?

What I'm expecting; If the girl accepts my invitation I figure it's because at first glance she thinks I'm at the very least - not ugly. (Oh great!)

Maybe she rejects you because you display what you think of when she rejects you. With Adam, she wouldn't have to worry about it.

This very well may just be my belief that a human being who thinks I'm ugly can't possibly want to hang out with me. But in my opinion, some people have just gone numb from hearing too many no.

It could be they have been lied to by their own thoughts.

But I'll say - Adam sounds like quite the Sean Connery.

or just a dude with a balanced and positive outlook.

 

[louMcntire]

What happens when he doesn't get rejected?

I bet then he takes it personally.

Wouldn't you?

That's my whole point. I do take it personally when someone accepts my invitation. And who wouldn't? But then who gets rejected and doesn't take it personally? If you're gonna take the yes personally you kind of have to do the same for the no. Don't you?

I mean yes - yes you can be positive. You can try to brush it off saying it's because her shoes were too tight. But in the end it's still a very personal situation.

Bottom line. What I'm trying to get at is - Adam probably feels a little bit hurt every time he gets rejected but is just able to let go of those feelings. Not all this ******** about thinking it's got nothing to do with him.

But then again, maybe he's just like he says he is. And I'm jealous.
And I hate him for being so Sean Connery.

 

[beans]

That's my whole point. I do take it personally when someone accepts my invitation. And who wouldn't? But then who gets rejected and doesn't take it personally? If you're gonna take the yes personally you kind of have to do the same for the no. Don't you?

I mean yes - yes you can be positive. You can try to brush it off saying it's because her shoes were too tight. But in the end it's still a very personal situation.

Bottom line. What I'm trying to get at is - Adam probably feels a little bit hurt every time he gets rejected but is just able to let go of those feelings. Not all this ******** about thinking it's got nothing to do with him.

But then again, maybe he's just like he says he is. And I'm jealous.
And I hate him for being so Sean Connery.

It can be because it does have got nothing to do with you. People reject you for many reasons other than you don't look good. Maybe they already like someone else. Or maybe its just your confidence or personality that they don't like.

But a lot of people like to think that its got something to do with them. Especially looks. If it is true that the person rejected you because of your looks (and it does happen), then do you quickly conclude you're ugly and get very down because you can't get this girl who you fancy who doesn't want you because of how you LOOK.

Wow..great girl..yeah it's worth it I guess.


Unless, I mean, if your hair is messy, and you're terribly obese, and even you yourself think you're ugly, then sure..........these are things that can be changed. But other than that, I dunno..perhaps you've to ask yourself why you should fancy such a person that wouldn't give you a chance because of how you look.

But I bet even for yourself, you would reject an ugly girl who doesn't look good.

I know too many guys who bitch about women rejecting them because they're ugly when they themselves only cry over pretty girls.

And sometimes, I think, well, that's just preference. If they don't consider you attractive, what else can anyone say? They like taller guys. Tanner guys. Buffer guys. It's a preference.........

 

[jjam]

As much as it might hurt a little, I can respect rejection. I can respect an "I appreciate it, but not interested. Sorry."

What is far worse than being rejected is when someone makes a trend of using words and tone to make you believe they're interested in spending time only to cancel when the big day arrives. It's a DISGUSTING game of giving false hope, not just about spending time but about the bigger picture of building a meaningful relationship. It is dishonest. It is cowardly. You conjured strength and courage to pursue working towards something with such a person that FAKES mutuality about the endeavor. Garbage.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Why is it always the ******* adams?
Theres short adam, theres best friend adam and sister's friend adam, best friend adam has a nice girl friend, short adam has a lot of friends and people to hang with and sister's friend adam has both.

Should I just change my name to adam?
Maybe that'll fix it.....

Funny that you should say this, I've also noticed everyone named Adam that I've met seems to automatically get easy-going social skills at birth

Then again, people with my name apparently have an average of 23 sexual partners in their life according to that survey post IIRC. I'm currently 23 behind

Anyway, as for the actual OP...meh. To be honest, I think that's kind of delusional thinking on the part of "Adam". On the one hand, yes it's cool not to take rejection too personally.

On the other hand, if you're constantly getting rejected by girls who date or dance with someone else afterwards, it's probably because there's something wrong with how you're conducting yourself, and ignoring that won't make it better

Having said that, I'm no authority on that, so whatever.

As much as it might hurt a little, I can respect rejection. I can respect an "I appreciate it, but not interested. Sorry."

What is far worse than being rejected is when someone makes a trend of using words and tone to make you believe they're interested in spending time only to cancel when the big day arrives. It's a DISGUSTING game of giving false hope, not just about spending time but about the bigger picture of building a meaningful relationship. It is dishonest. It is cowardly. You conjured strength and courage to pursue working towards something with such a person that FAKES mutuality about the endeavor. Garbage.

Very true words. Rejection is actually a mercy in a way, it removes all pressure and lets someone get back to their own life. I remember thinking a while back "I wish that she'd just say she's not interested" in the past. But she didn't, she kept up the flirting, the weird cuddliness, the "gazes" and all that stuff.

Nothing irritates more than someone being too scared to say what they're really feeling, and causing pain for months instead. Plus it really throws your "sensors" off when it comes to people too.

Far kinder really to say that you're not looking for a relationship - hell, I'd actually like more girls to tell me that, instead of wistfully glancing at me in the most ambiguous manner humanly possible.

 

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think some of the peopl who were quick to comment " we all cant be like Adam" or "its easier said than done". Noone is being told what to do here,this just a self-help article not even self-help but shining light on why rejection isnt so bad. Its all about ones perection. I appreciate the post & "Adams" point of view.