Searching for the one.

ShybutHi · Jul 11, 2014

Would you ever go out of your way to specifically search for a partner?

For example, go to clubs or pubs on the weekend on your own or go out into town on a weekday with a hope that you might meet someone nice?

There is something which seems odd about doing this kind of thing to me. A lot of people out there go to clubs and such with the idea of finding someone of the opposite sex, but for me it just sort of seems a bit fake, as if you are forcing things.

I don't know.... Perhaps I am just more old fashioned and/or hope a romantic relationship will bloom out of a long term friendship and mutual admiration or that I randomly meet someone in day to day life and we have a blatant mutual attraction.

x"porious · Jul 11, 2014

Yeh, but I can't muster up the courage to speak to a guy first that I like.
I get all fumbled and shy

Tiina63 · Jul 11, 2014

When I go out socially, I do have this continual thought that maybe this time I will meet someone nice for a relationship. I don't go out purely to meet a partner, but it is one of the main reasons why I go out. I think that many single people think this way and I don't see it as forcing things, as I am not throwing myself at potential partners but am simply keeping my eyes open and hoping. I also do online dating which does feel at times as if I am trying to force things, but at the same time if I didn't do it, then I know that I would start to come across as desperate in 'real life.'
I also like the activites I do and would want to keep at least one of them up if I were to meet someone.

Triple Bogey · Jul 11, 2014

Tiina63 said:
When I go out socially, I do have this continual thought that maybe this time I will meet someone nice for a relationship. I don't go out purely to meet a partner, but it is one of the main reasons why I go out. I think that many single people think this way and I don't see it as forcing things, as I am not throwing myself at potential partners but am simply keeping my eyes open and hoping. I also do online dating which does feel at times as if I am trying to force things, but at the same time if I didn't do it, then I know that I would start to come across as desperate in 'real life.'
I also like the activites I do and would want to keep at least one of them up if I were to meet someone.

that's a good attitude to have.
Hopefully one day it will happen for you !

Peaches · Jul 11, 2014

Do it!

but yes, I agree, a great relationship arises from a base of friendship, but it never hurts to go out make some hot (ahem, pardon me, I mean interesting) new friends

Tiina63 said:
When I go out socially, I do have this continual thought that maybe this time I will meet someone nice for a relationship. I don't go out purely to meet a partner, but it is one of the main reasons why I go out. I think that many single people think this way and I don't see it as forcing things, as I am not throwing myself at potential partners but am simply keeping my eyes open and hoping. I also do online dating which does feel at times as if I am trying to force things, but at the same time if I didn't do it, then I know that I would start to come across as desperate in 'real life.'
I also like the activites I do and would want to keep at least one of them up if I were to meet someone.

At some point persistence will be rewarded…

ladyforsaken · Jul 12, 2014

One of our members bender22, he's been doing something like this and documents his progress in a specific thread for himself (http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=29964). It's more of like putting yourself up for a challenge to talk to someone at least once a night or to strike up a conversation rather than to wait for it to happen. Basically to improve your socialising and communications skills I guess. Perhaps it would also boost confidence and allow one to learn something from all the experiences. It's not really forcing to find a partner, but forcing to put yourself out there to widen your social circle or to just socialise I guess.