something i have just noticed

[duff]

women who are married, engaged, thousands of miles away from me, alot older than me or alot younger than me: (unavailable women for dating) are always telling me how nice I am, how funny, what a catch I would be, how they would love to date me if they could etc

women who are single - are the exact opposite, they don't say any of those things.

Why ?

 

[Veruca]

Is it possible that the single women you have met are shy? Sometimes, women come across confident around men they are friends with, but when its more than that, they can get very shy and may need the guy to make the move. So they might not be as open about their thoughts/feelings as attached women.

 

[Tiina63]

I have found the same thing myself.
As I have little confidence I tend to think it is because it is 'safe' for someone out of reach to say that they would date me if they could as they don't have to follow through on this.
But if I push aside my negativity about myself, I think that what Veruca says is more likely to be true.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yeah. It's easier for women who are attached to say they'd date you because they have passed that barrier of admitting something like that. Single women... might be afraid to be rejected if they were to admit it.. and are probably shy and somewhat insecure to do so.

 

[duff]

it could be to make me feel better and give me more confidence.

I always remember this married woman saying she would date me if she was single. At the time she was having an affair with this guy she met on the internet. Made me laugh !

 

[Edward W]

I know I find it easier to talk to women as a married man, just gives me more confidence as I don't have to worry about what they think of me, no confusion. Am I making sense?

 

[Gondwanaland]

Ehhh, because life = irony???

 

[el Jay]

It seems like it's easier for people to give compliments when they're socially absolved from the possibility of following up on those compliments. Thus, women in relationships can compliment men more often and more openly because they don't need to justify why they won't actually date the guy they're complimenting.

If someone who was single (male or female) gave compliments like that, it'd almost certainly be seen as them being interested in dating the person they're complementing.

 

[duff]

It seems like it's easier for people to give compliments when they're socially absolved from the possibility of following up on those compliments. Thus, women in relationships can compliment men more often and more openly because they don't need to justify why they won't actually date the guy they're complimenting.

If someone who was single (male or female) gave compliments like that, it'd almost certainly be seen as them being interested in dating the person they're complementing.

yes i think your right.

my stock answer to any compliment is 'really ?' - but that's me being modest.

A woman last week said I was a 'people's person' WTF ?
That surprized me lol !

 

[Ak5]

Those girls married guys with the attributes you have. They were single once, so they know the value of guys like you. Just gotta wait 'til one single lady takes an appreciation for those attributes.

 

[Regumika]

It seems like it's easier for people to give compliments when they're socially absolved from the possibility of following up on those compliments. Thus, women in relationships can compliment men more often and more openly because they don't need to justify why they won't actually date the guy they're complimenting.

If someone who was single (male or female) gave compliments like that, it'd almost certainly be seen as them being interested in dating the person they're complementing.

This exactly. Because they dont have to back themselves up, they have a scapegoat. the same reason, if you are single, wouldnt compliment girls that you are not into.

 

[blackdot]

women who are married, engaged, thousands of miles away from me, alot older than me or alot younger than me: (unavailable women for dating) are always telling me how nice I am, how funny, what a catch I would be, how they would love to date me if they could etc

women who are single - are the exact opposite, they don't say any of those things.

Why ?

I used to have a webpage i forwarded to people that said I am cute, nice, sweet, and/or smart and that I should have no issues finding a date.

The webpage stated the following:
You have called me cute, nice, sweet, or smart; therefore please pick 1 or more of the following excuses of why you wouldn't date me:
1.) You are married.
2.) You are engaged.
3.) You are dating someone else.
4.) You live too far away.
5.) You are too young.
6.) You are too old.
7.) You are a lesbian.
8.) You are a guy.


everyone was always able to find 1-3 excuses on that list that were valid.
single women that would not find an excuse on that list never called me cute, nice, sweet, or smart. *laughs*
the most popular response was that they are married. In my 20's I attracted married women since I was always the type of guy women want to marry but not the type they want to date. They figure that out after marrying someone that isn't like who I am. it was always annoying when they would try to have an affair with me.

 

[duff]

women who are married, engaged, thousands of miles away from me, alot older than me or alot younger than me: (unavailable women for dating) are always telling me how nice I am, how funny, what a catch I would be, how they would love to date me if they could etc

women who are single - are the exact opposite, they don't say any of those things.

Why ?

I used to have a webpage i forwarded to people that said I am cute, nice, sweet, and/or smart and that I should have no issues finding a date.

The webpage stated the following:
You have called me cute, nice, sweet, or smart; therefore please pick 1 or more of the following excuses of why you wouldn't date me:
1.) You are married.
2.) You are engaged.
3.) You are dating someone else.
4.) You live too far away.
5.) You are too young.
6.) You are too old.
7.) You are a lesbian.
8.) You are a guy.


everyone was always able to find 1-3 excuses on that list that were valid.
single women that would not find an excuse on that list never called me cute, nice, sweet, or smart. *laughs*
the most popular response was that they are married. In my 20's I attracted married women since I was always the type of guy women want to marry but not the type they want to date. They figure that out after marrying someone that isn't like who I am. it was always annoying when they would try to have an affair with me.

sounds like your very bitter about the whole thing !

ps you shouldn't have turned down those married women !

 

[blackdot]

not bitter. I always found it hilarious because back in my 20's and early 30s, I was not looking to date. It was just always comical because every female thought she was the first one to call me cute and then i would tell them to pick a number on the list and they were shocked that so many women did that.

I don't date married women.

 

[duff]

not bitter. I always found it hilarious because back in my 20's and early 30s, I was not looking to date. It was just always comical because every female thought she was the first one to call me cute and then i would tell them to pick a number on the list and they were shocked that so many women did that.

I don't date married women.

your missing out, if they want it. Why not ?

 

[Badjedidude]

your missing out, if they want it. Why not ?

Because it could potentially assist in destroying others' lives.

Do you have any honor or self-respect? Why would you be involved in an activity that could potentially harm someone else's relationship?

I don't play around with married women either -- not because I respect marriage, but because I respect any romantic relationship of that sort. If a woman's taken, I'm not going to allow myself to be a party to assisting in destroying a relationship.

 

[perfanoff]

your missing out, if they want it. Why not ?

Because it could potentially assist in destroying others' lives.

Do you have any honor or self-respect? Why would you be involved in an activity that could potentially harm someone else's relationship?

I don't play around with married women either -- not because I respect marriage, but because I respect any romantic relationship of that sort. If a woman's taken, I'm not going to allow myself to be a party to assisting in destroying a relationship.

If she hits on you like crazy, invites herself for dinner and comes wearing a skirt with no panties... you are still destroying her life?

 

[Limlim]

your missing out, if they want it. Why not ?

Because it could potentially assist in destroying others' lives.

Do you have any honor or self-respect? Why would you be involved in an activity that could potentially harm someone else's relationship?

I don't play around with married women either -- not because I respect marriage, but because I respect any romantic relationship of that sort. If a woman's taken, I'm not going to allow myself to be a party to assisting in destroying a relationship.

Right on Jedi. I never really understood people having no problem with it either.

If she hits on you like crazy, invites herself for dinner and comes wearing a skirt with no panties... you are still destroying her life?

You're helping her do it. Why do you need to lend a hand? Sure someone else will if you won't, but at least you could say you were better than they were.

 

[perfanoff]

You were better? In this situation you didn't cheat on anyone to be bad and you didn't destroy something that actually existed

Silly, silly idealism. You don't do that and there's good chances you're still a virgin at 30, and as women here have said, "I will feel too guilty destroying his innocence" lol.

But whatever floats your boat, dude.

 

[duff]

your missing out, if they want it. Why not ?

Because it could potentially assist in destroying others' lives.

Do you have any honor or self-respect? Why would you be involved in an activity that could potentially harm someone else's relationship?

I don't play around with married women either -- not because I respect marriage, but because I respect any romantic relationship of that sort. If a woman's taken, I'm not going to allow myself to be a party to assisting in destroying a relationship.

people leave each other all the time, they split up and find someone else. maybe some of these women were already seperated ?

So if a married woman fell in love with you, you would walk away and do nothing ?

I would talk to her and ask her what she wants. Surely any guy would at least do that ?

Obviously I wouldn't mess around with a woman behind some guy's back. I would never do that !