Soulmates

[EveWasFramed]

I see the concern at the end with two points of view... One that is searching for a soulmate, and the one that is 'waiting' to be found.

What about the third point of view - what if you're neither searching nor waiting to be found?

I really don't know what to say to that.. I would say to not be the 3rd point of view... (Since in my opinion that would just be miserable) But that would make me a hypocrite since I wouldn't be following my own advice.. >_>

But...what's wrong with not looking for a soulmate and not waiting to be found by one? I don't see how it's a "bad" thing. More of a "it just IS" thing.

 

[Regumika]

I see the concern at the end with two points of view... One that is searching for a soulmate, and the one that is 'waiting' to be found.

What about the third point of view - what if you're neither searching nor waiting to be found?

I really don't know what to say to that.. I would say to not be the 3rd point of view... (Since in my opinion that would just be miserable) But that would make me a hypocrite since I wouldn't be following my own advice.. >_>

But...what's wrong with not looking for a soulmate and not waiting to be found by one? I don't see how it's a "bad" thing. More of a "it just IS" thing.

I see what you're saying... I was thinking the 3rd view as more of a "giving up" thing. If you're defining it as "it just is" then I would still consider that "waiting" but very loosely. Because in my mind.. not searching is easy.. but not waiting isn't so easy, since I think you would have to reject everything that comes your way for it to be considered "not waiting."

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I see the concern at the end with two points of view... One that is searching for a soulmate, and the one that is 'waiting' to be found.

What about the third point of view - what if you're neither searching nor waiting to be found?

I really don't know what to say to that.. I would say to not be the 3rd point of view... (Since in my opinion that would just be miserable) But that would make me a hypocrite since I wouldn't be following my own advice.. >_>

But...what's wrong with not looking for a soulmate and not waiting to be found by one? I don't see how it's a "bad" thing. More of a "it just IS" thing.

I see what you're saying... I was thinking the 3rd view as more of a "giving up" thing. If you're defining it as "it just is" then I would still consider that "waiting" but very loosely. Because in my mind.. not searching is easy.. but not waiting isn't so easy, since I think you would have to reject everything that comes your way for it to be considered "not waiting."

I think I'm on the same page as Eve- my interpretation of it is whatever happens, happens. We don't necessarily have to be putting ourselves out there to see if we find compatibility but if we should be lucky enough to come across it- oh ya baby!

 

[Groucho]

I've noticed that people often say things like..."I'm looking for my soulmate" or "I'm searching for my best friend" or..."I'm looking for someone who completes me."

Yeah, I kinda tried that approach. Then the wait approach. Then the 'interact with people who share the same interests as you' approach. And then I hit the 'it's never actually going to work' approach which is actually working, because all it requires is I assume nothing will happen and this is precisely what is occurring.

Does anyone besides me feel that hearing that from someone would be one of the most daunting things imaginable?

No? It's not like a standard to 'achieve' or a goal to fulfill or a hoop to jump through or a high score to beat or that crooked game stall that you have to outsmart where they rip you off for 5 pounds and all you get is that small teddy bear and maybe a box of sweets but ohhh nooo, that requires the top hoop.

No, it's more akin to a puzzle piece where either you immediately fit and all you do is be you and that's sufficient, or you fall out and the person merely attributes it to their 'challenge' before the real thing comes along. Or something. I prefer the crooked hoop stall analogy because I'm positive this game is rigged. And expensive.

I mean...isn't that a HUGE burden/responsibility to expect someone to take on?

Nope. You either complete them or you don't. If they start asking for you to pop the correct balloons sequentially or to play a game of hoops for £5 then do a runner.

Opinions?

If a soulmate exists, I have not yet found evidence of their existence and factoring in probabilistic reasoning, I'd say it was unlikely they existed.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I've noticed that people often say things like..."I'm looking for my soulmate" or "I'm searching for my best friend" or..."I'm looking for someone who completes me."

Yeah, I kinda tried that approach. Then the wait approach. Then the 'interact with people who share the same interests as you' approach. And then I hit the 'it's never actually going to work' approach which is actually working, because all it requires is I assume nothing will happen and this is precisely what is occurring.

Does anyone besides me feel that hearing that from someone would be one of the most daunting things imaginable?

No? It's not like a standard to 'achieve' or a goal to fulfill or a hoop to jump through or a high score to beat or that crooked game stall that you have to outsmart where they rip you off for 5 pounds and all you get is that small teddy bear and maybe a box of sweets but ohhh nooo, that requires the top hoop.

No, it's more akin to a puzzle piece where either you immediately fit and all you do is be you and that's sufficient, or you fall out and the person merely attributes it to their 'challenge' before the real thing comes along. Or something. I prefer the crooked hoop stall analogy because I'm positive this game is rigged. And expensive.

I mean...isn't that a HUGE burden/responsibility to expect someone to take on?

Nope. You either complete them or you don't. If they start asking for you to pop the correct balloons sequentially or to play a game of hoops for £5 then do a runner.

Opinions?

If a soulmate exists, I have not yet found evidence of their existence and factoring in probabilistic reasoning, I'd say it was unlikely they existed.

They exist. Sometimes it's not "forever" but they're there.

 

[Groucho]

They exist. Sometimes it's not "forever" but they're there.

Can you send mine a post-it note? If she's anything like me, she'll be browsing youtube videos for sea shanties having forgotten the actual project she intended having forgotten she was cooking rice only to forget to turn up to meet me. Or something.

(If mine exists, she's either in youtube cat videos or a pocket dimension.)

---

But...what's wrong with not looking for a soulmate and not waiting to be found by one? I don't see how it's a "bad" thing. More of a "it just IS" thing.

You make it sound like a game of hide and seek.

Imagining you hiding behind some conspicuous cardboard boxes going 'I don't want to be found!'.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

They exist. Sometimes it's not "forever" but they're there.

Can you send mine a post-it note? If she's anything like me, she'll be browsing youtube videos for sea shanties having forgotten the actual project she intended having forgotten she was cooking rice only to forget to turn up to meet me. Or something.

(If mine exists, she's either in youtube cat videos or a pocket dimension.)

---

But...what's wrong with not looking for a soulmate and not waiting to be found by one? I don't see how it's a "bad" thing. More of a "it just IS" thing.

You make it sound like a game of hide and seek.

Imagining you hiding behind some conspicuous cardboard boxes going 'I don't want to be found!'.

---

Sea Shanties? That's a whole new thread you gotta start friend. As for yours, leave notes on Craigslist, in post offices, and random bottle thrown in the ocean- put the word out and SHE will take notice!

 

[EveWasFramed]

Imagining you hiding behind some conspicuous cardboard boxes going 'I don't want to be found!'.

:club: Have you been spying on me?! lol

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Imagining you hiding behind some conspicuous cardboard boxes going 'I don't want to be found!'.

:club: Have you been spying on me?! lol

You've been 'spotted'

 

[Groucho]

They exist. Sometimes it's not "forever" but they're there.

Can you send mine a post-it note? If she's anything like me, she'll be browsing youtube videos for sea shanties having forgotten the actual project she intended having forgotten she was cooking rice only to forget to turn up to meet me. Or something.

(If mine exists, she's either in youtube cat videos or a pocket dimension.)

---

But...what's wrong with not looking for a soulmate and not waiting to be found by one? I don't see how it's a "bad" thing. More of a "it just IS" thing.

You make it sound like a game of hide and seek.

Imagining you hiding behind some conspicuous cardboard boxes going 'I don't want to be found!'.

---

Sea Shanties? That's a whole new thread you gotta start friend. As for yours, leave notes on Craigslist, in post offices, and random bottle thrown in the ocean- put the word out and SHE will take notice!

---

It's complicated. So complicated I cannot remember how I ended up on sea shanties in youtube. But I think that there should be an album released called "Now that's what I call pirate '89!" and it's a list of the various sea shanties. The advert would be cliche "with such well known sea shanties as "drunken sailor"...".

I think leaving notes like that on craigslist, post offices and in bottles thrown in the ocean will probably not so succeed, simply because the first two would probably get me banned on stalker grounds or weird behaviour ('Excuse me sir, are you the curator of this written note? It has your name and address on it.') and I don't think she can swim in the ocean currents for very long. Although, if she was marooned on a treasure island she might have trouble with the wireless signal, given I've heard the UK has terrible broadband services in general.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I believe we can have many best friends, or like different qualities best in each friend. That's how I feel with my group. I like them all a lot, and I like them all for their individual qualities.

As for the "looking for a person to complete me" I try not to think that way because I've heard that that is usually a mistake, like it's not a good way to think about it because then it becomes hard to function when that person isn't around.

I do believe in soulmates though, but I don't think that there is only one person in the entire world that can be our soulmate.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

They exist. Sometimes it's not "forever" but they're there.

Can you send mine a post-it note? If she's anything like me, she'll be browsing youtube videos for sea shanties having forgotten the actual project she intended having forgotten she was cooking rice only to forget to turn up to meet me. Or something.

(If mine exists, she's either in youtube cat videos or a pocket dimension.)

---

But...what's wrong with not looking for a soulmate and not waiting to be found by one? I don't see how it's a "bad" thing. More of a "it just IS" thing.

You make it sound like a game of hide and seek.

Imagining you hiding behind some conspicuous cardboard boxes going 'I don't want to be found!'.

---

Sea Shanties? That's a whole new thread you gotta start friend. As for yours, leave notes on Craigslist, in post offices, and random bottle thrown in the ocean- put the word out and SHE will take notice!

---

It's complicated. So complicated I cannot remember how I ended up on sea shanties in youtube. But I think that there should be an album released called "Now that's what I call pirate '89!" and it's a list of the various sea shanties. The advert would be cliche "with such well known sea shanties as "drunken sailor"...".

I think leaving notes like that on craigslist, post offices and in bottles thrown in the ocean will probably not so succeed, simply because the first two would probably get me banned on stalker grounds or weird behaviour ('Excuse me sir, are you the curator of this written note? It has your name and address on it.') and I don't think she can swim in the ocean currents for very long. Although, if she was marooned on a treasure island she might have trouble with the wireless signal, given I've heard the UK has terrible broadband services in general.

---

Godsfuck! You've put obstacles in front of yourself that needn't be there as far as leaving notes and the predetermination they won't succeed. I can assure you that taking a chance and leaving random queries will get you attention. I'd do it right now if I was in a position to do so....I sure as hell will do it when I can. Think outside of the "social media" or "normal channel" boxes- be original.

Still waiting for the "Sea Shantie" thread to show up!

 

[Case]

I've noticed that people often say things like..."I'm looking for my soulmate" or "I'm searching for my best friend" or..."I'm looking for someone who completes me."

Does anyone besides me feel that hearing that from someone would be one of the most daunting things imaginable? I mean...isn't that a HUGE burden/responsibility to expect someone to take on? Maybe my thinking is flawed.

Opinions?

I've never felt that it was daunting to hear someone talk about "finding their soulmate." I always thought that word meant "the person I feel most comfortable with." We all want that perfect connection, though, don't we?

It's not that we want the other person to conform to us or be controlled by us, but we want the other person to fit our lives naturally like a puzzle piece. I want someone to compliment my strengths and offset my weaknesses. The idea that I can be with someone and feel like we're almost like a singular organism is a nice one to me.

Now, I am also a realist and I know that this is, largely, idealized BS. No person is my perfect match. Humans are too complex for these unrealistic expectations, which is why we require compromise in any strong relationship. No matter how hard I try, I will not find someone who will tick off every mental box I have for how I define "compatibility." There will be arguments in future relationships, and the best I can hope for is making these arguments brief and solvable, and follow that up with really great make-up sex.

But seriously, I don't treat this soulmate thing as anything more than a romanticized ideal. If some people cling to that ideal, that's fine. I don't feel it puts any more pressure on me to be something I'm not.

 

[Groucho]

Imagining you hiding behind some conspicuous cardboard boxes going 'I don't want to be found!'.

:club: Have you been spying on me?! lol

Not at all. You just happen to be presently traveling as a cardboard box.

---

Godsfuck! You've put obstacles in front of yourself that needn't be there as far as leaving notes and the predetermination they won't succeed. I can assure you that taking a chance and leaving random queries will get you attention. I'd do it right now if I was in a position to do so....I sure as hell will do it when I can. Think outside of the "social media" or "normal channel" boxes- be original.

I don't doubt it gets attention, I just feel it draws the wrong kind of attention.

And possibly gives the wrong kind of impression. I like your idea though.

Still waiting for the "Sea Shantie" thread to show up!

It will be made!

 

[EveWasFramed]

I just saw the thread - good job!

 

[Groucho]

I just saw the thread - good job!

You could say it was... gold.

 

[EveWasFramed]

^^ LOL!!

 

[Gutted]

I just see them as expressions. Many people look for too much in others these days I think. Many who don't say these things x]