My story in a nutshell is this.
In the space of just five months I lost my wife to MS, my job of 7 years & almost lost my life in a severe accident. The experience so affected me that I lived as a hermit for three years, hiding from everyone, until necessity demanded I get a job. It lasted six months before I was made redundant & I was again involved in a single-vehicle trauma (I can't keep telling myself it was an accident anymore) which left me with permanent spinal damage. All this happened in 2000 & in the intervening 15 years I've joined many dating websites & sent a total of 786 messages to women asking for a date. This resulted in a total of 8 first dates & NO second dates. I'm just over 50 now & about to give up trying as I accept that you can only bash your head against a brick wall for so long. I am, in a word, weary. So very weary of consistent rejection, of female capriciousness, of playing a game I can never win & of being constantly misunderstood that I've gone back to hiding. I hide because in my mind, people means pain.
In the space of just five months I lost my wife to MS, my job of 7 years & almost lost my life in a severe accident. The experience so affected me that I lived as a hermit for three years, hiding from everyone, until necessity demanded I get a job. It lasted six months before I was made redundant & I was again involved in a single-vehicle trauma (I can't keep telling myself it was an accident anymore) which left me with permanent spinal damage. All this happened in 2000 & in the intervening 15 years I've joined many dating websites & sent a total of 786 messages to women asking for a date. This resulted in a total of 8 first dates & NO second dates. I'm just over 50 now & about to give up trying as I accept that you can only bash your head against a brick wall for so long. I am, in a word, weary. So very weary of consistent rejection, of female capriciousness, of playing a game I can never win & of being constantly misunderstood that I've gone back to hiding. I hide because in my mind, people means pain.
