Useless Masturbation

[SophiaGrace]

I am going to re-read the book I missed out on all this inference ???

ROFL!!! poor Frodo. lol.

 

[Brian]

I whack off at least once a day. It's rare that I don't. Usually twice, sometimes three or more. I think my record is probably 8 or more

I think the worst part is that unless I keep my hands in my pockets, everyone can see my girlfriend naked

 

[drifter]

8 or more? Have you thought about guinness? srsly.

impressive :>

 

[suckaG]

idk, you ever wonder if gollum's little songs he sang while off in the distance were actually him singing while he beat his meat? it's possible. maybe 'the precious' was referring to his schlong.

"What has it got in its pocket, precious????" lets see it! yes, yes...filthy little hobbits..."

 

[StarStrider]

Some thread this.

I still vividly remember the very first time my hand closed around the pommel of my burgeoning wedding tackle.

I stopped about halfway through because I honestly thought that I was on the cusp of some sort of seizure.

 

[suckaG]

so. graphic.

 

[Brian]

I still vividly remember the very first time my hand closed around the pommel of my burgeoning wedding tackle.

 

[Frodo Baggins]

idk, you ever wonder if gollum's little songs he sang while off in the distance were actually him singing while he beat his meat? it's possible. maybe 'the precious' was referring to his schlong.

"What has it got in its pocket, precious????" lets see it! yes, yes...filthy little hobbits..."

Never realised

 

[SophiaGrace]

idk, you ever wonder if gollum's little songs he sang while off in the distance were actually him singing while he beat his meat? it's possible. maybe 'the precious' was referring to his schlong.

"What has it got in its pocket, precious????" lets see it! yes, yes...filthy little hobbits..."

Never realised

ROFL!!!!!

Omg, you just made my day with that quote. YES!

 

[viviana]

its you? OMFG

ok no judgment, i actually agree...funny i was gonna make a comment relating to this subject when we talked the other day haha

I must've done it a million times since the age of 12

It's losing it's fun and I want the real thing.

I continue to do it to keep me somewhat satisfied but it's fast losing it's appeal.

It's no substitute for having a woman sucking on you/being inside her

I often wonder what it's like to have that real thing. Please don't tell me it's overrated or I may have to smash my computer in.

 

[SullenGirl]

That wasn't an opinion. It was him making light of my feelings.

And if you don't like what I write, feel free not to reply to my threads.

Yikes! Don't be so sensitive, no one is attacking you! XD

Anyway, you might want to check on a (free) dating/sex website to get some quick ******** if you really want the "real deal" that badly. That's just the quickest way, being totally honest with you. It's pretty easy to get lucky that way, particularly when you have no social skills.

But if you want something meaningful, you are going to have to make an attempt to speak with the opposite sex, in a somewhat charming manner. You will have to make sure that you look presentable, and that you are an overall interesting person who someone would consider date-able. Once you have these things mastered, you can keep the interest of a woman and possibly go on dates, and possibly start a relationship!

Then from there, you'll eventually get into her pants...the time from the first date and the first time you may get lucky in the sack varies from woman to woman, of course.

Well, good luck! And there are always masturbation fleshlights in the meantime.

 

[SophiaGrace]

He could try craigslist too...

 

[Mysis]

Find a strip club in your area that caters to women... Find out what time they close on Friday/Saturday night, and head down there about a half hour before closing time.

Once they close, at least 50-100, or more, most likely single women who are all drunk and horny will start pouring outta those doors... All you gotta do is find one that's looking at you, go up to her, and it really doesn't matter what the hell you say. You could even flat out say you're going to rape her, just make sure you're smiling when you say it so she mistakes it for a sense of humor, smiles, and says that you're funny.

She's warmed up so you wont have to try, she's already wasted her own money on the drinks, so you wont have to pay for anything, and she's inebriated enough that you really can't **** it up unless you freak out and scare her.

Best of all, there's no chance of an underaged girl lying about her age, getting herself pregnant, then her parents pressing rape charges against you, because somehow she obviously managed to get into a strip club.

You get laid. She's out of your life by lunch time. Hopefully you don't get an STD. Happens at least twice a week, same time, same place, have fun. It really makes a lot more sense than craigslist or dating sites if this is the route you wanna take. Least with this you wont just get trolled or lured into having sex with a drag queen.

If you're really self-conscious, go on a night like Monday or Wednesday. I really don't think there's any way this wont work.

 

[Brian]

He could try craigslist too...

Craigslist is so much harder than people keep saying

I have yet to see anybody from craigslist twice, or in anywhere besides a public place.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

Please don't tell me it's overrated or I may have to smash my computer in.

it's overrated

 

[Wailun]

I must've done it a million times since the age of 12

It's losing it's fun and I want the real thing.

I continue to do it to keep me somewhat satisfied but it's fast losing it's appeal.

It's no substitute for having a woman sucking on you/being inside her

I often wonder what it's like to have that real thing. Please don't tell me it's overrated or I may have to smash my computer in.

I know what you mean, although i might have started before you lol