VeganAtheist said:
I wish life had a pause button.
You and me both. I went out biking tonight and saw packs of kids riding around on bikes, parents and little tykes out in the parks and it just made me wonder how I got so old so fast. There is so much time I wish I could get back, so much I wish I could do over again differently. I wish I could go back to a time when I was free to just soak up things and use my imagination, instead of being under constant pressure 24/7 with everything revolving around money. I can't remember the last time I was truly joyful - "meh" seems to be as high as things get now that I'm an adult, and "bad" is the new usual. Sometimes I worry that I'm too far gone to salvage my life now, that there's not enough time to do the things I want to, go to the places I want to go, be the person I want to be. That at the very best case, all I'll do is just get some average job and sink into a cycle of work, couch/video games, and drinking on the weekend because it's just too late to get good at anything and make a life out of it. Rinse. Wash. Repeat. And die. I just wish I could do my life over again. I didn't chase a dream or get really interested in anything when I was younger, didn't make the most of college, didn't get good at anything, finally met girls who excited me but because I hadn't been making much of myself I was woefully unprepared and couldn't hold their interest. I look back and realize I completely screwed up my life, and I didn't even do crime or hard drugs or anything like that. I just spent too much time believing that I couldn't be anything better than ordinary and now it's come true. I wish I could become someone else, it saddens me and I hate that I'm even saying it.