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fresia eating. fresia all the stupid food in this place, and especially this shitty rye bread or whatever it is. I don't want to bother with it today, but I don't want to be feeling sick when I'm trying to feel nothing and I'm too bitter to just drop dead like the world wants.
 
Felt like saying this, didnt know where. I guess this place is appropriate.

Brother felt into it again. Money missing, debts, thefts, all to be expected (and it started already).
I gave his wife half of my savings. It was sad that she accepted it without a word. She is ashamed for her husband, and I for my brother. Neither of us can look the other into the eyes now.

Edit: haha. And here I was thinking that was it for the day. It was not.
It got a bit dramatic today, and at the end, and a proposition was given. ,,Take these keys if you really want them so badly, but if you do so, I´ll never talk to you again"
He took the keys.
I´m not known for taking words lightly.
 
I hope that I will be able to change my eating habits, I feel that this is going to kill me soon along the road
 
Mr.YellowCat said:
Felt like saying this, didnt know where. I guess this place is appropriate.

Brother felt into it again. Money missing, debts, thefts, all to be expected (and it started already).
I gave his wife half of my savings. It was sad that she accepted it without a word. She is ashamed for her husband, and I for my brother. Neither of us can look the other into the eyes now.

Edit: haha. And here I was thinking that was it for the day. It was not.
It got a bit dramatic today, and at the end, and a proposition was given. ,,Take these keys if you really want them so badly, but if you do so, I´ll never talk to you again"
He took the keys.
I´m not known for taking words lightly.

That doesn't sound good.. :\

I'm sorry, Mr Yellowcat.
 
VeganAtheist said:
InSearchOfPeople said:
What sports league? What do is your job if you don't mind me asking...I need a recipe...

It was a softball league. My job is pretty honeysuckle and doesn't belong in the recipe lol.
From what I can gather, the important thing is to be around as many people as you can as much as you can. If you can meet the same people on a frequent basis, even better. Most humans want the same thing so there will undoubtedly be people with the same goals as you.
Of course all of this is much easier in a large city. I am lucky in that regard.


My job is not only transitional, but it also has unstable schedule and demands most of my time, that I physically can't meet with people other than from my job and the ones from my job seem to not have same goals and they just don't like me for whatever reasons.

It's my birthday and I feel so desperately lonely. People that I used to communicate with for a long time very closely and then fell apart with, didn't even care to say happy birthday to me (they are on my FB). Some wrote msg in private text as if they don't want to be seen associated with me. I want to cry and just all of this constant rejection to stop, it's like someone is eating me from inside and I am begging to stop...
 
InSearchOfPeople said:
People that I used to communicate with for a long time very closely and then fell apart with, didn't even care to say happy birthday to me (they are on my FB)....I want to cry and just all of this constant rejection to stop, it's like someone is eating me from inside and I am begging to stop...

I feel the same way, even though it's not my birthday. I used to be in regular communication with some people, and it really hurts that we aren't talking anymore. It's like there's this great weight on my heart that is just pulling me towards the floor. It really hurts when someone stops talking to you, when you remember how they used to make you feel so happy inside. All the sweet things they used to say about how they wanted you around.

I want this constant rejection to stop too. I keep telling myself that it will end once my life becomes financially stable and when I can become more interesting, but really, I don't know if even that will be enough. And that's the worst. The uncertainty, just not knowing what I need to do, who I need to be, what personality I have to adopt in order for this to stop happening to me. Not knowing if this constant rejection will ever end, no matter what I do, and if my actions are getting me closer to getting out, further away, or not making any difference at all.

I hope you can have some fun today though, at least.
 
TheSkaFish said:
InSearchOfPeople said:
People that I used to communicate with for a long time very closely and then fell apart with, didn't even care to say happy birthday to me (they are on my FB)....I want to cry and just all of this constant rejection to stop, it's like someone is eating me from inside and I am begging to stop...

I feel the same way, even though it's not my birthday. I used to be in regular communication with some people, and it really hurts that we aren't talking anymore. It's like there's this great weight on my heart that is just pulling me towards the floor.

I want this constant rejection to stop too. I keep telling myself that it will end once my life becomes financially stable and when I can become more interesting, but really, I don't know if even that will be enough. And that's the worst. The uncertainty, just not knowing what I need to do, who I need to be, what personality I have to adopt in order for this to stop happening to me.

I hope you can have some fun today though, at least.

Same here (but without the birthday thing) Hang in there, both of you. We still have lots of time in our lives and at some point, we WILL find those people that won't reject us. Until then, hugs for both of you. *hugs* :)
 
Stewing over last nights guests we had. I'm temporarily living with my parents until the end of the month. Which is great, except for one thing. They are Mormon.

We had a pair of 'visiting teachers' consisting of this frail geriatric stammering about...something and his companion at least 30 years his junior who wouldn't really make eye contact with me gazing meekly into his crotch the entire time.

I was polite, even made small talk/jokes to levitate the situation a little. It seemed each time I do so whether with either missionaries or anyone else, once they understand I am a ex-member and have no intention with being involved in the church again they seem to give me the cold shoulder and behave in this conceited manner. They are convinced their way is the right way.

My siblings and myself left the church. Neither of us have any intention with being involved in that organization ever again. If the whole situation is not so sad and brought back bad memories, I could laugh. But I'm not laughing. I still find the LDS church very abhorrent.
 
Hi InSearchoPeople, I feel if you have to be alone on your birthday,
I hope your day got a bit better, or that some other day you can celebrate an extra-nice non-birthday… I also spent more than a few birthdays without seeing anyone or any greetings, at least your job should finish soon so you will be free to have a life outside of it.

For what is worth: a lot of people think that private messages on Facebook are more personal and "important" than a word on one's wall, so maybe that is why they wrote you in pm?

InSearchOfPeople said:


My job is not only transitional, but it also has unstable schedule and demands most of my time, that I physically can't meet with people other than from my job and the ones from my job seem to not have same goals and they just don't like me for whatever reasons.

It's my birthday and I feel so desperately lonely. People that I used to communicate with for a long time very closely and then fell apart with, didn't even care to say happy birthday to me (they are on my FB). Some wrote msg in private text as if they don't want to be seen associated with me. I want to cry and just all of this constant rejection to stop, it's like someone is eating me from inside and I am begging to stop...
 
I should stop trying to read too much into other people's chatters and looks. As long as I'm not treated with open hostility, there's not a thing to worry about.
 
My boyfriend's aunt told me that women's hormones go crazy when there's a full moon. LMAO She told me this while I was drunk-crying.
 
It's always sad when one part of a pair drags everything down. I loved that website for awhile because it was fresh, honest, spiritual, insightful, and friendly towards introverts and alternatives in its articles, but the guy's girlfriend posts the same pop positivity dregs and sweeping judgments as everyone else lately. Jarring to read about shamanism in the modern world, psychology, and pride in oneself and one's choices and then come back the next day to what's essentially a finger being shaken in our faces over our choices in handling issues of introversion and mental health.

It's really turning me off the site, and I've just stopped reading updates if I see her name on them. The rest of the articles gave me some motivation and pride in a difficult time, but it doesn't feel like a "sanctuary" anymore. I've considered saying something in the interests of the very unique website they share, but there's really nothing to say that wouldn't be rude and divisive.
 
Just another one of my waiting-for-the-train stories...

I was on my way to the train station as usual to kill those 1.5 hours till I can finally return home. Not even a minute after I sat down a young woman with a big suitcase came around addressed me: "Hey, can I talk to you?". I just replied "Sure" and she sat down next to me. She told me she had an argument with her boyfriend and he (literally) kicked her in the process - which is why she packed her bags and left.

I have no idea what it was about or if was just your typical guy-suddenly-turns-into-an-******* scenario. Doesn't matter anyway...she didn't want to report him to the police cause she 'doesn't rat anybody out' and the local woman's centre wouldn't let her in for exactly this reason. She didn't know where to go and I merely told her where the next bigger cities are, where shelters might be and how far she could get by train while dodging the fare - she had no money left.

Oddly enough she didn't ask me for any which made her story somehow more credible. Maybe she just needed someone to listen and I did exactly that. I had no real advice to give her though - except to swallow her pride and just report the **** guy so she'll have a roof above her head for the night. In the end she kept pacing up and down along the platform trying to think of a way out of her misery. And I just sat there quietly while the sun went down.

After an hour she seemed to have sorted her thoughts and left the station. She even waved me goodbye and I waved back - completely puzzled. I wonder how things turned out for her...
 
Rodent said:
Just another one of my waiting-for-the-train stories...

I was on my way to the train station as usual to kill those 1.5 hours till I can finally return home. Not even a minute after I sat down a young woman with a big suitcase came around addressed me: "Hey, can I talk to you?". I just replied "Sure" and she sat down next to me. She told me she had an argument with her boyfriend and he (literally) kicked her in the process - which is why she packed her bags and left.

I have no idea what it was about or if was just your typical guy-suddenly-turns-into-an-******* scenario. Doesn't matter anyway...she didn't want to report him to the police cause she 'doesn't rat anybody out' and the local woman's centre wouldn't let her in for exactly this reason. She didn't know where to go and I merely told her where the next bigger cities are, where shelters might be and how far she could get by train while dodging the fare - she had no money left.

Oddly enough she didn't ask me for any which made her story somehow more credible. Maybe she just needed someone to listen and I did exactly that. I had no real advice to give her though - except to swallow her pride and just report the **** guy so she'll have a roof above her head for the night. In the end she kept pacing up and down along the platform trying to think of a way out of her misery. And I just sat there quietly while the sun went down.

After an hour she seemed to have sorted her thoughts and left the station. She even waved me goodbye and I waved back - completely puzzled. I wonder how things turned out for her...

Let's hope for the best. Thank you for doing this. :)
 

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