What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[ladyforsaken]

^Hey lovely, you and your body have been through so much, please take it easy on yourself. I know it is maddenly frustrating, but taking painkillers regular when its serious can be beneficial. You look after yourself ok .

Feeling sad, knowing I was nothing to another person.

Thanks She-ra, it just gets to me. I often wonder if I'm getting nastier by the day cos of it.. but I really don't want this illness to change me in that direction. It's so ******.

Hope you're not feeling sad anymore too. :\

I feel sad... I didn't get the job. I try to be hopeful and believe that I didn't get the job because there is better one out there for me.

Fairy, I'm sorry you didn't get the job. But you keep trying okay? I wish you the best of luck.

I wanted to end my life as I felt worthless and empty, but then I realized I am the only one who controls my life, and that no one else can. I respect myself now, but honestly, the days before this past Tuesday, I wanted to commit suicide because I thought my life was dreadful due to encountering so many pathetic things. You must know to love and respect yourself if you ever feel suicidal; I mean, it is your life -- only you have the control.

Never again.

I'm sorry things were rough for you but I'm happy to see that you're pulling through. Keep at it, you're right on that too, that you're the only person who's in control of your life. I've thought about you all this while, I just hoped that things have been okay with you. Anyway, nice to see you around again, girlfriend.

 

[sanguineRose]

I would have felt so down without talking to you today. Once again, you were there when I needed you most.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Hoping that my mom's first treatment goes well today. And hoping my kids don't drive my sister too crazy. And hoping that work isn't too hard to get through.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hoping that my mom's first treatment goes well today. And hoping my kids don't drive my sister too crazy. And hoping that work isn't too hard to get through.

Sending my best wishes to you and your family. Hope it all goes smoothly.

 

[user 115627]

That's the penultimate invalidation of all my thoughts, my feelings and my sanity. So what's left of me? A puppet cut free from its strings...but at least they failed to reattach me to theirs. Then again, I wonder why they didn't just finish me off...

I better shut up...I don't seem to be very well today.

 

[Serenia]

Feeling fed up of too many thoughts. I really need to let things in the past go, its like I am anchored by the past. I need to accept it and either look back (not too often) with fondness or a lesson learnt. I can feel myself being dragged down, leave the **** behind and be the person I like.

 

[Cavey]

They gave me new medicine for my infection. It loosened something... but it wasn't my chest. This TMI post was brought to you by the letters K and V and the number 74.

 

[Serenia]

They gave me new medicine for my infection. It loosened something... but it wasn't my chest. This TMI post was brought to you by the letters K and V and the number 74.

Your turn to get eeeeewwww! Hope they work and get you back to yur fine fettle.self .

 

[Peaches]

I sincerely hope that I didn't break my neck by falling off the bed, that would be... rich

 

[there is no hope]

I am thinking that there is no hope.

 

[PenDragon]

How bigger is my pain threshold? It keeps getting bigger and bigger everyday, where my limit end? Don't know, I really don't know, may be something to do with being morning person I guess, more tolerance on everything. Sigh...come on, give me more!

Come to think of it, It's my own doing, my decisions, my choices, my calls, my falls, Nobody has any share in it, It's mine, my own. Nobody has any right to take that away from me.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I recall this past week and reflect on it.

It still amazes me how strangers will still come and approach me even if I don't look all too friendly i.e. smiling or looking at least peacefully pleasant like I usually do, according to some people. George approached me. Another old man talked to me. This other old woman talked to me too. On another day George specifically stopped down the hallway just to greet me as I was rushing to get my drug orders in so as not to waste time and I hadn't seen him there.

See, people like that warm me up. All this angst and frustration inside just melts away every time something like that happens and I think that could just be the remedy and I'm grateful for it. It's much harder to melt these negative feelings away while I'm home, unfortunately.

This week hasn't been easy. It hasn't been easy at all. It felt like being tortured once wasn't enough, I have to go through with it again, and again, pushing the limits of my pain threshold and I bailed. It's so hard having myself fight within my head. Part of me just wants to give this all up and stop it all cos it's just so exhausting. Part of me is determined to keep going and get this over and done with and that the only way out is through it. Of course at the end of the day, my positive side tends to win over, or I shut myself out so no side wins and the fight neutralises by the next morning.

I'm so tired of fighting myself. So tired of feeling so angry and frustrated.

This week hasn't been easy. I don't even want to think of anything else right now.

They gave me new medicine for my infection. It loosened something... but it wasn't my chest. This TMI post was brought to you by the letters K and V and the number 74.

Get well soon, Cavey. Sending my best wishes over.

I am thinking that there is no hope.

*hugs* I'm sorry you feel this way.. but I hope you continue to hang in there despite feeling hopeless. It's hard to conjure that feeling if it isn't there... but what I learned is despite feeling like that, it doesn't mean you have to give up. Hang in there, I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Serenia]

^ I hope it gets easier for you soon ((((hugs)))))

I feel ashamed of a realisation about myself.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^ *hugs*

 

[Serenia]

I am really confused now, no idea what's going on. I need to distract myself.

 

[PenDragon]

Made me think again, hmm. What are the odds? Love the contrast though. Who ever made this must have some deep meaning behind this.

 

[Peaches]

feeling mostly stupid...

 

[ladyforsaken]

It just doesn't have to be so complicated. It doesn't always have to be so complicated.

 

[user 115627]

Why can't you just interact on the simple basis of mutual understanding and enjoy it this way? But no...it was always has to be something special and unique for some folks. Designated by fate or a higher power. Pfft...

 

[lonelyfairy]

I am hoping they will answer soon. I'm not patient anymore. I can't live by only breathing air.